单亲

Single Parents S01E07

Part 2 Nov. 27, 2019, 11:46 a.m.

You beat up spelling bee judges.
勒索儿童棒球的委员
You blackmailed the commissioner of T-Ball.
到今天我都不知道罗里
And I still to this day don't know how Rory,
才一年级怎么能编辑毕业纪念册的
as a first grader, gets to edit the yearbook.
他有想象力还很有感觉
He has a vision --sensations
别告诉他避孕套也是这样
Don't tell him that's also a condom.
好吧我爱管闲事
Okay, fine, I meddle.
对罗里不够好
And no, Rory's not doing great.
-他一团糟 -好吧
- He's a mess. - ‭Okay, look.
你觉得这次选角是个错误
What you call a casting boo-boo,
-我觉得这是严重的误判 -对
- I call a gross miscarriage of justice. - Right.
‭你觉得我不想管这个闲事吗
You don't think I wanna meddle?
我太想了想到心痛
I wanna meddle so hard, it hurts.
但我不会管
But I won't.
因为无论我看得有多难受
Because no matter how hard it is for me to watch,
我都得接受我儿子
I'm just gonna have to accept the fact that my son,
格雷厄姆...
Graham...
要担任校剧的主角
is going to have to carry... a school play.
-天呐 -好吧所以你不同意
- Oh, God. - Okay, fine, so your answer's no.
行我们不管闲事
Fair enough. We won't meddle.
我不管了
I won't meddle.
比斯奇思老师
Mr. Biscuits?
我要和你谈谈
‭I need to talk to you.
比斯奇思老师是我的父亲
You know, Mr. Biscuits was my father.
请叫我比斯奇思博士
Please, call me Dr. Biscuits.
好吧
Okay.
为什么沙发下面有一个可怕的蛇形耳环
Why was this horrifying snake earring under our couch?
德万医生落在这的
Dr. Dewan left it here.
-德万医生来过我家 -是的
- Dr. Dewan was here? - Yes, she was.
-和你一起吗 -是的
- With you? ‭- Yes.
为什么我的医生会来我家看我爸
Why would my doctor come to my house to see my dad?
不妙
Oh, no.
我得了什么重病吗
Am I really, really, really sick?
不是的亲爱的
No. No, honey.
不是的你没有生病
No, you are not sick.
那为什么我的医生要来
Then why was my doctor here?
因为
Because...
你非常健康
you're the opposite of sick.
为什么她要亲自来告诉你
Why would she tell you that in person?
为什么要告诉你
Or at all?
健康的人不是很多吗
Aren't lots of people the opposite of sick?
都没你这么健康
Not as opposite of sick as you.
德万医生亲自来我们家
Dr. Dewan came to our house in person
是因为你太健康了
because you are so the opposite of sick that...
她给你提名了一个奖项
she nominated you for an award.
而且你获胜了
And you won!
苏菲·威尔·库珀恭喜你
Sophie·Will Cooper, congratulations
你获得了
You're the winner
全美最健康小朋友奖
of the Healthiest Child in America Award!
美国最健康小朋友还可以得这种奖吗
Healthiest Child In America is an award you can win?
太棒了
Yes!
我是全美最健康的小朋友
I'm the healthiest child in America!
玩蛋去吧格温
Suck it, Gwen!
格温是学校的一个女生她开口闭口都是维生素
Gwen's a girl at school who won't shut up about vitamins.
我知道格温是谁因为我是绝世好爸爸
I know who Gwen is 'cause I'm such a good father!
收到你的短♥信♥了美国最健康小朋友太扯了
I got your text. Healthiest Child in America? I hate it.
不过我想说我为你骄傲
But I want to tell you something. I'm proud of you.
我一直都想让你为我骄傲
All I've ever wanted was to make you proud.
但不是为这个好吗我从不对苏菲撒谎
But not for this, okay? I don't lie to Sophie ever.
我不会撒谎我得坦白
I can't lie, okay? I have to come clean.
不不不不能坦白
No, no, no, no. You never come clean.
你要用谎言去圆谎努力去圆
You double down. You double down hard.
孩子们盖尔姑姑打来了
Kids, Aunt Gail called.
她做了DNA检测我们没有血缘关系
She did 23andMe, and it turns out we're not related after all.
还好我爸妈在世时没有发现
I'm just glad my parents aren't alive to find out.
前提他们真是我爸妈
If they're even my parents.
无意冒犯你家双胞胎但苏菲比她们聪明
No offense to the twins, but Sophie's smart.
她暂时相信了但她会发现的
She's bought the lie for now, but she's gonna figure it out.
胡说她是个孩子孩子们都很傻
Nonsense. She's a child. Children are dumb.
爸爸为什么全美最健康小朋友奖
Daddy, how come the Healthiest Child in America Award
没有官方网页
doesn't have a website?
-你确定真有这个奖吗 -什么
- Are you sure it's real? - ‭What?!
没有美国最健康小朋友这个网页吗
There's no Healthiest-Child-In-America.Com?
没有
No. There's not.
我肯定是...
I must have, um --
忘记教你女儿怎么上网了吧
Forgot how to teach your daughter to use the Internet?
".com"
"Dot com"?
拜托这个网站肯定是.gov的后缀
Come on, this is a clear-cut "dot gov" situation.
全美最健康小朋友奖
The Healthiest Child in America Awards
是纳税者资助的
are funded by taxpayers.
很荣幸为你补充一下
Happily, I should add.
我的错
My mistake.
我以为这是私人赞助的奖项
I just assumed it came from the private sector.
那我在哪领奖爸爸
So, where am I accepting my award, Dad?
你问我吗因为道格拉斯也是个爸爸
You mean me? Just 'cause Douglas is a dad, too, so...
华盛顿
Washington, D.C.
全美最健康小朋友奖一直都是在
The He-Chas are always
-华盛顿颁发的 -就在他说的地方
- in Washington, D.C. - What he said. In...
还来啊
We're still doing this, huh?
好吧给你们面子
All right. I respect that.
你为什么要说在华盛顿
Why would you say it's in Washington, D.C.?
这是全国奖项还能在哪里
It's a national award. Where else would it be held?
-她怀疑我们了 -你被谎言绕进去了
- She's onto us. - Okay, so you're trapped in a lie.
那就继续圆谎嘛
You just keep on lying.
生活处处有惊喜
Life's a wild ride, huh?
如果我没法圆怎么办
What if I can't lie my way out of it?
苏菲从《傲骨贤妻》里学了很多
Sophie has learned a lot from "The Good Wife."
你可以我们可以的
You can. We can.
她是个聪明的孩子
Yes, she's a smart child,
但聪明的孩子也会感到无聊
but even smart children get bored.
我们只需要不停地圆谎
All we have to do is just keep dragging out the lie
直到她不感兴趣了
until she loses interest.
这是一场拉锯战朋友
We're in a war of attrition, my friend.
太好了我打上仗了
Oh, good. I'm at war.
-还是和我女儿 -没错
- With my child. - Yes.
克里斯蒂安·比斯奇思
长话短说我的粥赢了
So, long story riveting, my porridge won.
于是我拿到了荣誉博士学位
And that's how I got my honorary doctorate.
你是哪位
And you are?
波比·班克斯罗里的母亲
Poppy Banks. I'm Rory's mother.
没错你的儿子非常有才
Yes, your son is wildly talented.
谢谢
Thank you.
但你没让他演丹尼
But you didn't cast him as Danny.
没错那太常规了
Precisely. Too expected.
班克斯太太戏剧要永远充满挑战
You see, Ms. Banks, theater should never be comfortable.
戏剧无论在哪都不能墨守成规
Theater should never be safe...anywhere.
但尤其尤其是在小学
But especially -- especially -- here in elementary school.
非常赞同
I couldn't agree more.
陈词滥调老掉牙的两段式《油脂》
I mean, a straight-ahead, down-the-middle "Grease"?
没创意
Yawn.
这也不是比斯奇思的风格
And that's not the Biscuits way.
你读了我的书
Ah, you've read my book.
当然
Of course.
如果我手边有
You know what I'd do if I had my copy
你的书...
o-of...
《爸爸不鼓掌》
"Daddy Never Clapped."
没错
Yes.
我就会翻到第...
Oh, I would turn to chapter...
125章
125.
"尽情与谨慎起舞始终与危险牵手"
"Sleep with Caution All You Like, But Always Marry Danger."
我就会说...
And I'd say...