单亲

Single Parents S01E21

Part 1 Nov. 27, 2019, 11:47 a.m.

所以你们应该选我
And that's why you should elect me
担任二年级班长
as your Second Grade President.
为可靠的小兔子投票吧
Vote for some-bunny you can depend on.
我特别讨厌那个带兔耳朵的小东西
You know, that bunny-eared freak really grates me.
她从幼儿园开始每年都当班长
She's been president every year since kindergarten.
她已经脱离群众了
She's lost touch with the people.
这种选举太荒唐了
It's ridiculous -- this whole election.
我小时候都是
Back in my day, it was
"低头举手蒂米赢了
"Heads down, hands up. Timmy wins.
核武器警报响了趴下找掩护"
Uhp. There's the nuke siren. Duck and cover."
闭嘴闭嘴要开始了
Okay, shut up, shut up. It's time.
山顶小学的各位好啊
What up, Hilltop?
我是罗里·班克斯
I'm Rory Banks, here to announce
前来竞选班长
my bid for Class President!
我会不遗余力地争取废除数学课
I will not rest until we eliminate math.
我已经说过了每个人都有计算器
I've said it before -- we all have calculators!
我才不嫉妒你呢
I don't envy you.
选举就是在浪费父母的时间
Elections are a total time suck for parents.
又要拉票又要做无准备访问...
It's canvassing, cold-calling --
与此同时中国的小孩正在学习工程
all while the kids in China are learning engineering
准备摧毁美国
and preparing to destroy us.
祝你玩得愉快
Anyway, have fun.
如果你们有人愿意捐出午餐钱
Now, if any of you would like to donate any of your lunch money
或者加入我的后援团
or help pad out my circle of "Yes men,"
请联♥系♥我的两位竞选伙伴
please speak to one of my running mates.
谁想要T恤
Who wants a T-shirt?
看到了吗那两位是你家的
See that? Those ladies are your ladies.
欢迎加入候选人队伍白♥痴♥
Welcome to the ticket, fool.
单亲
第一季第二十一集
你这儿有没有再红一点的红酒
Do you have any red wine that's even redder?
更接近圣牛之血的颜色
Like, more the color of the blood of The Sacred Ox?
怎么回事你加入邪教了吗
Okay, what's happening here? Is this a cult thing?
如果是月亮崇拜就算我一个我喜欢月亮
If it's a moon cult, I'm in. I love moon stuff.
不是《比武》之夜宝贝
No, it's just "Joust" Night, baby!
是那个有骑士和龙的魔幻秀
That fantasy show with the knights and dragons?
-那不是龙 -那不是龙
- They are not dragons. - They're not dragons.
是飞剑龙
They're stegasuses.
像披着铠甲的飞马或者剑龙
They're like a pegasus with armor, like a stegosaurus.
抱歉我不该那么称呼它们
I'm sorry I... called them that.
安吉和我刷完了前三季
Angie and I are binge-watching the first three seasons
新一季下周回归
before the new one drops next week.
我们每晚的惯例就是看片喝酒
Yeah, we've developed a nightly ritual of watching, drinking,
用某种非特定的泛欧洲方言说话
and speaking in an unspecific pan-European dialect.
老有意思了
It's a smith's barrel of fun!
这么硬核的看剧方式真的健康吗
Are you guys sure watching a show this hard is healthy?
因为你们还记得
Because you remember what happened
《迷失》季终的时候发生了什么吧
when people saw the finale of "Lost."
我喜欢《迷失》大结局
I loved the "Lost" Finale.
这比深陷于
Well, it's a lot healthier
和欧文分手后的阴影要健康多了
than obsessing over my breakup with Owen.
安吉和我很享受单身生活
Yeah, Angie and I are kind of nailing being single.
为了忘掉我对特蕾西的浪漫攻势
Bingeing is the best way not to deal
刷剧是最好的方法了
with my grand gesture I made towards Tracy.
我跑到她家约她结果见到她男朋友
It's been so weird since I showed up at her house
然后我们的关系就一直怪怪的
to ask her out and met her boyfriend instead.
心理落差太大了
Yeah. That was a big swing.
是啊但我们之间有点什么
Yeah, but there's something between us.
每次我们的交谈都充满了化学反应
All of our conversations are charged with chemistry.
这台烤面包机好慢啊
This toaster's pretty slow.
没有上一台慢
Not as slow as the last one.
这就没了吗还是说...
Is that the end of that story, or...?
通过对话传达暧昧
There's no good way to convey chemistry
是最好不过的了
through conversation, okay?
相信我我们真的很来电
But trust me, our vibe is electric.
你们好啊
Howdy.
米基你穿的这是什么
Miggy, what are you wearing?
你不会扒光了高尔夫商店的模特吧
You look like you mugged a mannequin at a golf shop.
和博比·巴布森这样的明星级高尔夫专家交往
When you're dating Bobbi Babsen, Golf Pro to the Stars,
必须贴近她的形象
there's an image to keep up.
她开始帮我改变造型
So she's been putting me in new threads.
原来当小白脸也挺安逸的
Turns out being a kept man is kinda dope.
我们不需要爱情
Well, we don't need love.
我们有整个《比武》宇宙
We have the whole "Joust" Universe
那里有飞剑龙有科瑞恩森林守护者
of the stegasus, the Guardians of Corynne Wood,
还有拉扎瑞安山大祭司
and The Grand Priestess of Lazarian's Mount.
我特别喜欢那首主题歌♥
I love that theme song.
*比武比武比武*
*Joust! Joust! Joust!*
-*比武比武* -我也会
- *Joust! Joust!* - Oh, I can do that!
*比武比武比武比武比武*
*Joust! Joust! Joust! Joust! Joust!*
*比武比武比武比武*
*Joust! Joust! Joust! Joust!*
*比武比武比武*
*Joust! Joust! Joust!*
没用的
It's not gonna work.
罗里我把亮片胶水和剪刀拿来了
All right, Rory, I got your glitter glue and scissors.
没找到闪光灯
Could not find a strobe light.
所有徽章上印的都是我的左脸
All of these buttons are pictures of me from the left side.
所以呢
So?
我的左脸不上镜妈妈改一下吧
My left side is my bad side, Mother. Please fix this.
道格拉斯你能不能帮帮我
Okay, Douglas, you maybe want to step in here?
我给你生了两个金发帮手你还想要什么
I made you two blond helpers. What more do you want?
你们一定要看这个
You gotta see this!
罗里·班克斯说他支持课间休息
Rory Banks says he's pro-recess.
但全年最晴朗的这一天他在干什么
But what was he doing on the sunniest day of the year?
我的天
Oh, my gosh.
强光下没法看书啊
It's hard to read with the glare!
他说他要取消数学课
He says he wants to cut math.
那他选择的竞选伙伴为什么精通...
But then why choose a running mate who knows...
代数
algebra?
你俩发过誓外面
You two swore that there was
没有诋毁你们形象的视频录像
no compromising footage of you floating around.
废柴们
投票给罗里就是杜绝快乐
A vote for Rory is a vote against fun.
我是兔耳朵我首肯这条信息
I'm Bunny Ears, and I approve this message.
废柴我的孩子才不是废柴
Losers?! M-My kids are not losers!
那小东西以为自己是谁
Who the hell does that child think she is?
为什么我们的徽章
And why the hell do we have buttons
印的是罗里不上镜的一边
with a picture of Rory from his bad side?
这是我生的至今还是很悔恨
I gave birth to that bad side, and I still hate it.
艾玛把我的豪华马克笔拿来
All right, Emma, fetch me my expensive marker.
我要插手了
I'm tagging in!
快点
Let's go!
-你真帅 -谢谢
- You look great. ?- Thank you.
谢谢你扔掉那些丑陋的飞行员夹克
Thank you for throwing out that hideous bomber jacket.
不客气
Oh, you're welcome.
你不觉得米基的新恋情有点奇怪吗
Hey, does Miggy's new relationship seem odd to you?
说不好
I dunno.
路易莎让我挂怀表
Louisa made me carry a pocket watch.
我给你的编织皮带呢
And where's the braided belt I got you?
我戴腻了就摘了
I-I-I got bored and unbraided it.
抱歉博比
I'm sorry, Bobbi.
我想知道之后会发生什么
I wanted to see what would happen.
你会怎么想
It's what you think.
-我马上回来 -好的
- I'll be right back. - ?Oh, okay.
伙计们
Hey, guys.
米基我们谈谈
Miggy, let's dish.
这个新恋情让你感到痛苦吗
Is this new relationship making you miserable?
你逗我吗简直棒极了
You kidding? It's amazing!
博比每晚都带我去俱乐部吃晚饭
Bobbi takes me to dinner every night at the club,
给我买♥♥新东西
she buys me all new stuff,
而我只要变个样子就行了
and all I have to do is be a completely different person.
爱情的精髓就是改变自己
Love is about changing yourself
成为对方想要的样子