单亲

Single Parents S01E14

Part 1 Nov. 27, 2019, 11:46 a.m.

山顶小学
快来申请校长职务
-好了上车 -我们能检查机油吗
- All right, now, get in the car. - Can we check your oil?
我都被找去校长办公室了
I get pulled into the principal's office,
你们现在还想要奖励
and now you want a reward?
车子会送到经销商那边
The car will be going to the dealer
更换汽油
to get the oil changed.
但他们就是这样让你上钩的
But that's how they get you!
而且他们的咖啡很难喝
And their coffee stinks.
道格拉斯你看上去很精神
Oh, ho, Douglas. Looking sharp.
这么早来这干吗
What are you doing here so early?
很显然女孩们在体育馆
Apparently the girls were doing
进行了一些未经许可的装♥修♥
some unsanctioned renovation on the gym.
第二次了
Again.
所以我今天把工作聚会推了
So I got pulled out of a work function.
我了解
I understand.
如果她们自己提供了木材
Well, if they supplied their own lumber,
你应该感谢我
you should probably be thanking me.
现在吗
Right now?
好吧
Fine.
我错过了送虾的人吗
Did I miss the shrimp guy?
不管我在和谁说话
I don't care who I'm talking to.
送虾的人来了你就得告诉我
The shrimp guy comes around, you tell me.
-送虾的人 -是的
- A shrimp guy? - ‭Yep.
那是什么聚会
What kind of party was this?
国家皮肤病学奖
The National Dermatology Awards.
就在明晚我会领个肤莱美奖
Tomorrow night, I'm getting a Dermy.
恭喜
Congratulations!
告诉你让我更兴奋的是演讲
You know what? I'm more excited about the speech.
但我根本没法准备
But I can't even work on it
因为我还要解决孩子们留下的烂摊子
because I'm dealing with this kid nonsense.
现在校长
And now the principal
希望我和学校的心理专家坐下来谈谈
wants me to sit down with the school psychologist.
朗达医生我很喜欢她
Dr. Rhonda. Oh, I love her.
她是这行最棒的
Best kitten posters in the biz.
我不会去的这有悖于我所相信的一切
Yeah, I'm not doing it. It goes against everything I believe in.
我的育儿之道很简单
My parenting philosophy is simple.
如果车在开不要打开引擎盖
If the car is running, never pop the hood.
偶尔还是要打开几次引擎盖的
Uh, you got to pop the hood once in a while.
而且朗达医生是最好的
And nobody does it better than Dr. Rhonda.
我最珍惜的就是和她每周一对一的谈话
I value our weekly one-on-one sessions more than anything.
-你每周都见她 -当然
- You see her every week? - ‭Oh, sure.
恐怕这是极限了
Afraid that's the limit.
我知道你有些怀疑
Look, I know you're skeptical,
但如果你去见了朗达医生
but if you see Dr. Rhonda,
我保证她会让你的生活轻松很多
I promise she will make your life easier.
道格拉斯你家孩子在修我的车吗
Douglas, are your girls working on my car?
不我说了不准换机油
No! I said no oil change!
你只说不许给你的车换
You just said your car.
下次说得具体一点
Next time, be more specific.
我很生她们的气但我也为你兴奋
I'm mad at them, ‭but I'm very excited for you.
你会很满意她们的工作的
You're gonna be very happy with their work.
单亲
第一季第十四集
于是我说"如果你想再多买♥♥一些黑司令
So I said, "You're gonna have to give me a reason
你得给我个理由"
to order more of this Riesling."
我明白了
I get it.
然后我就醒来了所以
And then I woke up, so...
如果这故事是个梦你得提前告诉我们
Girl, you got to say up front if the story is a dream.
说真的
Seriously.
要不是必须在这等
I would walk away right now
格雷厄姆和他的新朋友艾利克斯我现在就走了
if I weren't stuck waiting for Graham and his new friend, Alex.
他不停地说他
He's been talking about him non-stop.
听上去艾利克斯对于格雷厄姆是个大收获
Sounds like this Alex is a pretty big "get" for Graham.
艾利克斯
Alex?
容我翻个白眼
Eye roll.
小家伙你听上去很嫉妒啊
Damn, dude. You sound jealous.
我没有嫉妒相信我
I'm not. Trust me.
等到了我的春季毛绒衫时节
Graham will be done with Alex
格雷厄姆就不会再和艾利克斯一起玩了
just in time for my spring sweater unveiling.
好吧希望如此
Oh, well, I really hope so,
因为艾利克斯的妈妈诺拉
because Alex's mom, Nora,
不愿意一个人去参加亲子聚会
doesn't do drop-off playdates,
这就意味着我不得不出去
so that means I'm forced to hang out
和一个完全不认识的人待上几个小时
with a total stranger for hours.
"母子聚会"简直就是煎熬
"Mom Playdates" are torture.
听着她们的育儿之道
Hearing their parenting philosophies,
你还得把自己的故事告诉她们
you telling them your life story,
还有那些假笑
all the fake laughing.
"好的好的" 其实一点都不好
"Okay. Okay." it's not okay.
如果没有酒的话这些都算是
It is all of the worst parts of a first date
-第一次聚会最糟糕的地方了 -是的
- with none of the alcohol. - Yes.
天哪我第一次就遇到了你实在太走运了
God, I am so lucky ‭that I met you when I did.
麦片安吉下次喂他吃麦片
Cheerios, Angie. Next time, Cheerios.
麦片不会融化
Cheerios don't melt.
该死
Crap.
给你备着呢
Got you covered.
留着吧
Keep it.
一整包吗
The whole pack?
这算是别人对我做过的
Ye that's, like, the nicest thing
最贴心的事了
that anyone's ever done for me.
好吧你看起来今天过得挺累的
Well, you look like you're having a day.
想聊聊吗
You want to talk about it?
这是格雷厄姆
This is Graham.
这是罗里
This is Rory.
格雷厄姆和我那天得到的不仅仅是纸巾
Graham and I got more than wipes that day.
我们找到了最好的朋友
We got best friends.
还有正中我情感盲区的三小时的谈话
And a three-hour therapy session on my romantic blind spots.
我记着呢
I'd remember that.
老天我从没去过公园
Man. I never go to the park.
太多草了
Too much grass.
我该去那边给杰克也找一个最好的朋友吗
Should I be getting out there and finding Jack a best friend?
不不不父子聚会不是这样的
No, no, no. Dad playdates don't work like that.
男人们寻找的不是感觉
Men are not looking for a connection.
两个爸爸只会静♥坐♥着
Two dads will just sit there in silence,
全程看手♥机♥
on their phones, the entire time.
或许他们会从一些无关痛痒的体育聊起
Maybe they'll start things off with some mild sports talk.
比如"你看过那场比赛了吗精彩"
Yeah, like, uh, ‭"Yo, you see that game? Crazy."
"精彩的比赛"
"Crazy game."
确实很精彩
It was crazy.
妈妈这是艾历克斯和他的妈妈
Hey, Mom. ‭This is Alex and his mom.
诺拉
Nora.
很期待之后的亲子聚会
Looking forward to the playdate later.
这孩子长得真娇小
That kid is tiny as hell.
他多大了
How old is he?
这么大
I'm this many.
那是四根手指
Yo, that's four fingers.
格雷厄姆的朋友只有四岁
Graham's friend is 4.
大大的收获哦
A real big get.
山顶小学
快来申请校长职务
朗达医生
Dr. Rhonda.
威尔·库珀推荐我来的
I was referred to you by Will Cooper.
接下来就别再提他了
Now, let's never speak of him again.
他不在这是吗
He's not here, is he?
-什么 -他人很好
- What? - ‭He's very nice.
只是作为家长
It's just, as a parent,
他真是无处不在
he can be...very present.
-你才发现吗 -福格蒂医生在我说结果前
- You think? - So, Dr. Fogerty, before I share my findings,
我想听听你对你女儿们的看法
I'd like to hear from you about your daughters.
好吧她们很矮金色头发
Okay, well, ‭they're, uh, short and blond.
其中一个眼睛下有点东西
One of them has a thing under her eye.
不是她们的长相
Not what they look like.