单亲

Single Parents S01E09

Part 5 Nov. 27, 2019, 11:46 a.m.

"赏心悦目"
"Easy on the eyes."
我就知道我就说是他吧
I knew it! Vindication.
我只是想扳回一局
I was just trying to even the score.
你让我♥干♥这干那没日没夜
You worked me so hard -- nights, weekends.
无论我找到多少非♥典♥型痣
No matter how many atypical moles I found,
对你来说永远不够
it was never enough.
所以你就有权利
And that gives you the right
偷我的里根钢笔吗
to steal another man's Reagan pen?
它填补了我的空虚
It filled the void!
而且我承认
And yes, I admit,
偷了它让我感到自己很重要
it made me feel important because...
因为我感觉自己像你
it made me feel like you.
这有什么不对吗
Is that so bad?
不不这完全没错
No. No, it's not bad at all.
谢谢你说出真♥相♥ 马克
Thank you for telling the truth, Mark.
真情实感兄弟
That's real, bro.
我也是人
I'm human.
谁在乎马克和那支笔
Who cares about Mark and the stupid pen?!
这屋里真正的贼是威尔
The real thief here is Will.
-什么 -莫莉才是下位班主任人选
- What? - Molly was next in line for Room Parent.
那看起来你排错队了婊♥子♥
Well, it looks like you waited in the wrong line, bitch!
D·阿玛托扔麦
D'Amato mic drop!
小心那是租的
Oh, that's a rental.
欢迎回家总统先生
Welcome home, Mr. President.
我会比南希[里根妻子]更加珍惜爱护你
I'll love you like Nancy never could.
这真是支好笔
That's a good pen.
我能理解为什么有人想偷
I could see wanting to steal that thing.
我知道我已不再站在道德高点
All right, I know I've given up the moral high ground.
黑点再也洗不掉了对吗道格拉斯
I'm never gonna live that down, am I, Douglas?
是的但说实话
Correct. But if I'm gonna be honest,
我反倒更加尊敬你了
I kind of respect you more.
你骗了我整整一年这可不简单
I mean, you lied to me for a year. That takes sand.
手♥机♥小子做好准备和邋遢波比混吧
Well, Cellphone Guy, saddle up next to Sloppy Poppy.
这算是我比较好听的外号♥了
It's not the worst nickname I've ever had.
以前别人叫我皮草男孩
I used to be the Fur Coat Kid,
因为我有一件大衣上面带毛帽
'cause I had this parka with, like, a fur hoo--
还有火鸡手威尔
Oh, and Turkey Hands Will,
就因为我的手一直有火鸡味
just 'cause my hands always smelled like turkey.
还有零嘴男孩我妈总给我带好多零食
And Snack Boy. My mom always packed so many snacks.
我的外号♥是"猫王" 因为我的发型
Mine was "Elvis," 'cause of my haircut...
还有金光闪闪的连体服
and all my sequined jump suits.
我也曾是个十足的怪小孩
I was in a real weird phase for a while.
大家都叫我唐娜
Everyone always called me Donna
因为我和我姐妹唐娜长得一模一样
because I looked exactly like my sister, Donna.
愿她安息
May she rest in peace.
看看现在的你们
Well, look at you now.
还是废柴
Still the losers.
也许吧但能成为废柴的一员我很骄傲
Maybe. But I'm proud to be a part of this group.
现在鼓声起
And now, if you would, drum roll.
我们收集了多少签名
How many signatures did we collect?
"赫比·欣德"[谐音"她的屁♥股♥"]
"Herbie Hind."
真逗
Very funny.
赫比·欣德真聪明
Herbie Hind. So clever.
米基谢谢但你不算
Miggy. Thank you, but you don't technically count.
"我看见了你的老二" 这都算不上名字
"I Saw Your Weiner." That's not even a name.
是我写的
I did that!
谢谢你
Thank you.
八年级前不买♥♥手♥机♥
No cellphones till eighth grade!
还有别再办这种社交晚宴了
Also, we're never doing the social night again.
-绝不办 -太糟了
- Absolutely not. - This was truly awful.
-谁办谁是狗 -惨不忍♥睹
- Never again. - Horrible!
我爱你们
I love you guys.
天哪
Oh, gosh.
-气氛被你全毁了 -什么
- And you ruined it. - What?
怎么就让我毁了我只是在抒发感情
How did I ruin it? I just was expressing my affection.
我爱你威尔
I love you, Will.
谢谢你米基我也爱你
Thank you, Miggy. I love you as well.
全都从我家出去
Everybody get out of my house.