单亲

Single Parents S01E11

Part 2 Nov. 27, 2019, 11:46 a.m.

Sleepover at my place.
-去别人家过夜啦 -去拿包
- Sleepover! ‭- Let's go get our bags!
今晚肯定不太平
This is gonna be a night.
希望你们能让她们道歉咯
Good luck getting an apology.
也许之后你还能让海水倒♥退♥
Maybe after that, you can push back the ocean
或者与风摔跤
or wrestle the wind.
我先跟你说清楚这是不可能的
Just to be clear, I'm telling you it's impossible.
我们走着瞧
We'll see about that.
晚安
Good evening.
谢谢你们费心收看
Thanks for bothering to tune in.
我打赌你以为我无话可说
Bet you think I got nothing to tell you.
你以为天气一直都是晴朗温暖
You think it'll always be sunny and warm.
因为你们陷入了加州式自我满足
'Cause you've been lulled into a California complacency
威尔·库珀试镜录像
就像一个晒黑的小宝宝吃鳄梨
like a little, tan baby eating avocado.
你猜怎么着
Well, guess what.
今天还真有一个低气压
There's actually a low-pressure system
从南部袭来
coming in from the south.
你知道这是什么意思吗
Do you know what that means, even?
给你个提示会下雨
Here's a hint: It's gonna rain.
暂时就这么多记住我是威尔·库珀
That's all for now. Remember, I'm Will Cooper,
管你喜不喜欢天气
weather you like it or not.
-怎么样 -你很上镜
- Well? What do you think? - The camera loves you.
我都不知道自己能不能再看一遍
I don't even know if I could watch that again.
很有感染力
Very provocative.
真的吗请说实话
Really? Please be honest.
-你用天气羞辱了我们 -别给其他人看
- You weather-shamed us! - Yeah, never show that again to anybody.
我有个天气预报
Hey, here's a weather report:
这个试镜就是场自然灾害
That audition was a natural disaster.
好吧还有48小时就是拍照日了
Okay, we only have 48 hours until Picture Day.
幸好网上有个女人发誓椰子油有用
Luckily, a woman on the Internet swears by coconut oil.
至少它很滋润
At least it's moisturizing.
等等水是零食
Wait. Water's our snack?
现在是了
It is for now.
把爆米花给我们 D·阿玛托
Give up the popcorn, D'Amato.
不除非你们先道歉
Nope. Not until you apologize.
我很抱歉给大家添乱了
I'm sorry for all the hassle.
不不你不用道歉
No, no. Y-You don't say you're sorry.
她们要道歉
They do.
赶紧道歉
Apologize now!
你就这点能耐吗
Is that the worst you got?
安吉·D才刚刚热身呢
Angie D is just warming up.
艾玛艾玛艾玛
Emma, Emma, Emma.
我们是朋友对吧
We're friends, right?
你喜欢芝士爆米花吗艾米
You like cheesy pop, Amy?
如果你道歉这一整碗都归你
This whole bowl could be yours if you would only apologize.
我知道你的把戏
I know what you're doing.
我看过两集《法律与秩序》
I've seen two "Law and Orders."
你这个笨女人
You foolish, foolish woman.
艾玛道歉时就吃到爆米花了
Emma got some when she apologized.
你骗人
That never happened.
我能感受到
I would sense it.
等等真的吗
Wait. Really?
假的我听见你和她说话了
No, I heard you talking to her.
你们对双胞胎啥也不懂啊
You people and twins.
我不知道你们的能力有多大
I don't know the extent of your powers.
这事没完
This isn't over!
也许你能加个O
Maybe you can add an "O", you know,
就变成了"文艺"
to make it "Of Arts"?
屁
或用法语说就是"艺术家"
Or, as the French would call it, "Des-artistes."
有格调啊
That sounds classy.
我不是想讽刺谁
I was trying to be edgy.
KZOP也许认为我是个全职奶爸
KZOP probably thinks I'm some stay-at-home dad
闻起来一股床单和饼干的味道
who smells like dryer sheets and snickerdoodles.
我必须颠覆他们的期待
I had to subvert their expectations.
我们期待的可不是刚才那玩意
I don't think we expected what we just saw.
威尔我欣赏你追求梦想
Look, Will, I love that you're going after your dream.
但我知道离开职场后
And I know how hard it is to go back to work
重新回岗很难
after you've been out of the game for a while.
我开酒吧也是一样
That's how I felt with the Winebrary.
我不知道怎么委婉地告诉你
But -- and I don't know how to put this nicely --
那个试镜是我见过最烂的东西之一
that audition is one of the worst things I've ever seen,
我还看过米基的音乐视频呢
and I've seen Miggy's music video.
《神秘小姐》
"Mystery Señorita"?
*神秘小姐*
*Mystery señorita*
*小姐小姑娘妈妈*
*Señorita, chiquitita, mamacita*
*你是谁*
*¿Quién eres?*
*年轻女人年轻女人年轻女人*
*Young woman, young woman, young woman*
*你是谁*
*Who are you*
*神秘小姐*
*Mystery señorita*
*你的名字可能是*
*Su nombre puede ser*
*我亲爱的或者是桑迪*
*Mi querida o tal vez Sandy*
*她的名字有万种可能*
*Her name could be anything*
*可能是桑迪*
*It could be Sandy*
*神秘小姐*
*Mystery señorita*
*我上车时她就已经在车里了*
*Ella ya estava cuando llegue al auto.*
*我上车时她就已经在车里了*
*She was here when I got in this car*
*你是谁*
*Who are you?*
-*神秘小姐* -*小姐*
- *Mystery señorita* - *Señorita*
我就当这个对比是表扬了
I'll take that comparison as a compliment.
你不该这么想
You shouldn't.
你们有没有具体的建议
Well, do you at least have specific notes?
听着镜头前的你
Listen, your on-air persona
-有些 -像安德森·库珀[美国著名记者]
- is a little... - Anderson Cooper-y?
-更像"公车站的恐怖男子" -记住了
- More like "Scary guy at a bus stop." - Noted.
不如我们帮你重录一次
How about we help you make a new tape?
我能给你换个造型
I could fix your look.
我早就想
I've been wanting to do things
修整下你的发型了
to that hair for a long time.
我的发型有什么问题吗
Is something wrong with my hair?
你想让我怎么回答
How do you want me to answer that?
我可以跟你角色互动
And I can give you someone to play off of.
我可以做新闻主播然后把镜头交给你
I can be the newscaster that throws to you.
我来做你的表演指导
And I'll be your acting coach.
我会让你少一些僵硬多一些活泼
I'll make you a little less preachy and a little more peachy.
从被人厌弃到平易近人
From hateable to relatable!
各位我真是说不出我有多感激
You guys, I can't tell you how much I appreciate this.
到了明天威尔·库珀
Tomorrow, Will Cooper,
我们会让你变成大明星
we make you a star.
这会是我参与过的最棒的事了
This is gonna be the greatest thing I've ever been a part of!
*神秘小姐*
*Mystery señorita*
-*小姐小姑娘妈妈* -天哪
- *Señorita, chiquitita, mamacita* - Oh, my God.
-别唱了 -*你是谁*
- No. - ‭*Quién eres?*
这个肯定会消去的对吧
Well, it can't stay there forever, right?
给我们在纸上写了"对不起"
Here. We wrote "Sorry" Notes.
希望你满意了安吉
I hope you're happy, Angie.
你让我们抛弃了自己的准则
You made us abandon our principles.
我能问问你们为什么会回心转意吗
Can I ask what was it that finally turned you?
是不是因为我哭了
Was it when I cried?
不我们只是觉得无聊了
No, we just got bored.
我们现在能吃芝士爆米花了吗
Can we just have cheesy pop now?
还有一件事把纸举起来
One more thing. Hold 'em up.
好
Yes!
谢谢
Thank you.
喂道格拉斯
Hello, Douglas.
我才不信呢你给了她们多少钱
I don't believe it. How much did you pay 'em?
就是这样
It happened.
她们道歉了
They apologized.
我花了四个小时用了值得商榷的方法
It took four hours using questionable tactics,
不过我还是把你的女儿们驯服了
but I domesticated your girls.
祝你好梦