单亲
Single Parents
第一季
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单亲
Single Parents S01E01
Part 1
Feb. 16, 2020, 9:30 a.m.
你是唯一的新生 没什么大不了的
So you're the only new kid. Big deal, right?
山顶小学
开学啦
你一年级肯定没问题的 小苏
You are gonna crush first grade, Soph.
谢谢爸爸
Thanks, Dad.
以防你紧张
A-A-And in case you do get nervous,
送你个特别的礼物
I got you something special.
魔法护身符
A magical amulet.
戴上这个 厄运驱散
Nothing bad can happen to you when you got this guy on.
小心 别让魔法泄漏了
Careful! Ooh, don't let the magic out!
你用便利贴做的吗
Did you make this out of Post-its?
不是
No!
是的
Yes.
我要是戴着便利贴
It's gonna be way worse for me
感觉会更惨呢
if I'm wearing sticky notes around my neck.
我自己能行
I'm good on my own.
你自己能行
You're good on your own?
嗯 放学见
Yeah. See you at pickup.
好
Okay.
再见
Bye.
*我总是眺望海的那边*
*I've been staring at the edge of the water*
*从我记事起*
*Long as I can remember*
*不知道原因*
*Never really knowing why, cha cha cha cha cha*
你在哼《海洋奇缘》的歌♥吗
Are you whisper-singing "Moana" at me?
是的 这能让你平静下来
Well, yeah, 'cause it always calms you down.
但不是现在 时机不对
But not now. Bad timing.
对对 感受一下气氛啊
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on. Read the room, right?
好吧 你可以的
Okay, you got this.
-再见 我爱你 -再见
- Bye, I love you. - Bye.
-会很有趣的 -要是我想你呢
- It's gonna be fun. - What if I miss you?
小家伙 我们说过了
Look, buddy, we talked about this.
只有六个小时 你没问题的
It's only six hours. You're gonna do great.
你能把围巾给我吗
Can I have your scarf?
格雷厄姆 不能拿围巾了
Graham, we're not doing the scarf thing.
求你了 能闻到你的气味我就能安心
Please. It helps when I have something of yours to sniff.
我不希望你在课间
Look, I don't want you sitting at your desk
闻我的东西
during recess sniffing my stuff.
好吧 但今晚你要吃蔬菜
Okay, fine, but you're gonna eat vegetables tonight,
绿色蔬菜
the green bummer ones.
椰子味 安心了
Like coconuts and safety.
妈 我不该穿紫色的
Mom? I'm regretting the purple.
我应该打扮成一个正常的孩子
I should have dressed like a normal kid.
你要怎么做
Hey. What's the one thing you always have to be?
-做自己 -你是谁
- Myself? - And who are you?
老实说 妈妈 我不知道啊
Honestly, Mom, I don't even know right now.
你是个聪明时髦的年轻人
Hey, you are a smart, stylish young man
最会调宝石色了
who could pull off jewel tones better than anyone I know.
还会剪地毯
And you can cut a rug.
好吧
Okay.
今天 我是一个葡萄
Today, I am a grape!
听到了吧 我的孩子特别真实
You heard him. My kid's living his truth.
爸爸 你忘了我们的午饭盒
Dad, you forgot our lunch boxes.
好吧 这样
Okay, tell you what.
拿20块去烤架那买♥♥个汉堡吧
Take 20 bucks and buy yourself a burger from the grill, huh?
爸爸 这不是俱乐部 没有烤架
Dad, this isn't the club. There's no grill.
对来 甜心
Right. Here, sweetheart.
买♥♥点零食吃吧
Get yourself some crap with a rainbow on it.
你的午饭给我孩子吃吧
My kid's taking your lunch.
没人给我装过零食 就这样啦
No one ever packed me snacks. Make it work.
爸爸 你不能叫女孩"甜心"
Dad, you can't call girls "Sweetheart."
这是不允许的
It's not empowering.
我来告诉你们什么是允许的
Okay, let me tell you what is empowering --
独♥立♥生活
fending for yourself.
现在的孩子都被当做傻子对待
Kids today, they're treated like morons.
但你俩不是
But not you two.
我愿意和你俩共用一个散兵坑
I would share a foxhole with both of you,
这是我能给你们的最高赞扬
and that is the highest compliment I can give you.
家庭格言是什么
All right, hit me with the family motto.
没有弱点
No weakness.
抽干沼泽
Drain the swamp.
不好意思 先生 你应该在这里吗
Excuse me. Sir? Are you supposed to be here?
你的孩子在这个班吗
Do you have a child in this class?
他是我的邻居
Oh, uh, he's my neighbor.
20岁 独自抚养一个婴儿
He's 20, and he's raising a baby alone.
他还没有完全接受
He hasn't fully accepted
自己的生活已经天翻地覆
that his life has changed forever, you know?
这里不是支持小组
Yeah, um, I'm not running a support group.
你嘴有点毒 我喜欢
You're a little mean. I like it.
我在哪里
Where am I?
我做了一个奇怪的梦
Oh, I had the strangest dream.
先生 请你离开
Sir, I'm gonna ask you to leave.
他和我们一起的
He goes where we go.
给 给自己买♥♥点好东西
Here you go. Get yourself something nice.
我不能接受小费
I can't accept tips.
它掉到地板上了
Okay. It, uh, "Dropped on the floor."
大家注意啦
Attention! Excuse me! Hello, hi!
安静的土狼 安静的土狼
Quiet coyotes. Quiet coyotes.
谢谢
Thank you.
我叫威尔·库珀
My name is Will Cooper,
很荣幸成为你的班主任
and I have the honor of being your Room Parent.
-不 -完了
- Oh, no. - Ooh, this is bad.
他戴着一条垃圾做的项链
Is he wearing a necklace made of garbage?
苏菲和我是新来的
Uh, Sophie and I are new to the school,
我们很期待
and we are so looking forward
了解你们每一个人
to getting to know every one of you.
我是单身
I am single.
每次都想说一下
Always try to get that out there.
但不知道有什么用
Just never quite sure how to work it in.
但这意味着我有更多的时间
But that just means I have more time
来准备我的午餐计划了
for creating a little hot lunch option I call...
"周二塔可日"
"Taco Tuesday," Y'all!
不错吧
Right?
他刚才在学奥普拉吗
Did he just "Oprah" That?
他知道自己是白人 对吧
He know he's white, right?
大家都知道
Everybody knows.
来 击个掌
Come on! Give me fives! All right!
来个人告诉我什么时候
Somebody tell me when it's safe
我的蛋蛋可以安全回到体内
for my nuts to return to my body.
你们很多人都在想
Now, I see a lot of you are wondering,
我将如何参与进来
"Where do I fit into the equation?"
五个字 家长参与100%
Five words -- "One hundred percent parent participation."
他一定是在开玩笑
He's got to be kidding.
-我不是开玩笑 -不可能
- I am not kidding. - Not happening.
我会站在门外
I'm gonna be standing right outside that door
拿着这张登记表 好吗
with this sign-up sheet, okay?
这就是美国男性的现状
This is what's become of the American male.
我们原来是有创造力的
We used to make things.
同理心 道格拉斯 他是单身 我们是单身
Empathy, Douglas. He's single. We're single.
不 我没这么单过
No, I've never been that single.
别躲我
Do not try to avoid me,
因为我会抓住你们并像鲨鱼一样围着你们转
'cause I will hunt you down and circle you like a shark.
单亲
第一季 第一集
好了 大伙儿 我们得讨论下保姆的分配任务
Okay, guys, we need to talk babysitting.
周四我需要帮忙
I'll need help Thursday
因为那天所有法律助理都会去唱歌♥
because all the paralegals are going out to karaoke.
开玩笑的 我们只是加班提交报告
Just kidding. We're staying late to file.
周四我很忙
On Thursday, I'm busy.
得去排队买♥♥新的椰子鞋
I got to 'Gram my new Yeezys.
-你可真是可笑 -谢了 哥们
- You're a ridiculous person. - Thanks, man!
至少他不会跟一帮
Well, at least he doesn't eat steak
苍白老男人夜夜吃牛排
with the same pasty old white guys night after night.
单亲
Single Parents
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