单亲

Single Parents S01E18

Part 1 Nov. 27, 2019, 11:47 a.m.

不得不说
You know, I'm just gonna say it.
新来的美术老师好性感啊
The new art teacher is a hottie.
通常我不会这样评论一名老师
Normally, I would never objectify a teacher,
但我靠
but...damn.
天呐那对奶♥子♥真的有违地心引力
Oh, man. That rack really defies gravity.
谁的奶♥子♥[架子]违背了地心引力
Whose rack defies gravity?
格雷厄姆看那边
Hey, Graham, look over there!
不知道怎么回答
You know, the key to uncomfortable questions
就分散对方注意力
is distraction.
那个孩子的尖叫真是巧了
That child screaming is just a happy coincidence.
天呐她要摔下来了
Oh, my God. She's gonna fall!
没事了
It's gonna be okay.
我被蜜蜂蛰了
A bee stung me!
没事了
It's gonna be okay.
谢
Thank y--
没事了
It's gonna be...okay.
别鼓掌了
Please.
谢谢
Thanks.
天呐
Oh, my God.
太了不起了
That was amazing.
刚发生什么了
What just happened?
威尔变抢手了
Will is the new hot person.
单亲
第一季第十八集
还好我练过晾晒蹲
Thank goodness I've done all those laundry squats.
我知道我该去上班了
I know I'm supposed to be at the office by now,
但我就是忍♥不住想看
but I just can't take my eyes off of this.
看那些迷妹米基
Look at 'em swarm, Miggy.
就像汽水罐上的黄蜂
Like wasps on a soda can.
是我想多了还是关注我的人变多了
Man, is it me, or am I getting more attention than usual?
你现在光芒四射
You've got the glow.
你英雄救美的事迹
Your little show of lifesaving heroics
就像是招蜂引蝶的性♥爱♥斗篷
has wrapped you in a cloak of sexual irresistibility.
这个改变不错啊
That'll make for a nice change of pace.
等下所以你终于会跟我一起看比赛了
Wait. Does this mean you'll finally watch sports with me?
好了就此打住
O-Okay, look. Pump the brakes. Okay.
光芒虽耀眼但也转瞬即逝
The glow is powerful, yet fleeting.
消失后就没了
When it's gone, it's gone.
靠道格拉斯你怎么这么了解性♥爱♥斗篷
Damn, Douglas, how you know so much about sex cloaks?
那是1984年的劳动节
It was Labor Day, 1984.
我刚在百货买♥♥了模特身上的衣服
I had just bought an outfit off the mannequin at Penney's.
雪白的牛仔裤能亮瞎双眼
Jeans so white, you'd go blind just looking at them.
天呐非常合身
And, boy, did they fit.
大家都对我垂涎欲滴
Everyone wanted a piece.
我以为我会一直万众瞩目
I thought I would glow forever,
但第二天就打回了原形
but by the next day, it was gone.
等下我的性♥爱♥斗篷只能管一天
Wait. I only get a day with my sex cloak?
比燕尾服租期还短
That's shorter than a tuxedo rental.
道格拉斯我该怎么办
Douglas, what do I do?
我们去俱乐部吧
Okay, look. We'll hit the club.
别担心孩子
Don't worry about it, kid.
我不会让你的魅力浪费掉的
I'm not gonna let you squander your glow.
但你得把腰包给下了
But you're gonna have to lose the fanny pack.
我能留下跟你一起看《单身汉》就好了
I wish I could stay and watch "The Bachelor" with you.
不过我一直想问你一个问题
I've been meaning to ask you one question, though.
处♥女♥是什么
What's a virgin?
路易莎的派对肯定很好玩吧
So, Louisa's party's gonna be fun, huh?
你觉得弹珠好玩么
If you call playing marbles
因为他们没有看《欢乐》看
'cause they don't have cable "Fun."
一个自强的女人给自己买♥♥的玫瑰
Just a strong woman buying herself roses.
所以我让你按铃就行
And this is why I tell you to just honk.
罗里收拾东西
Ror, get your stuff.
快递把箱子放花坛了
Your mailman left this box in the flower bed.
你圣诞节要给他小费了
You might want to think about tipping him at Christmas.
拜托等他不会说
Please. I'll start tipping him
他有个"大包裹"给我了我再给
when he stops saying he has a "big package" for me.
凌晨两点的醉波比
All right, drunk 2:00 AM Poppy,
你在网上给我买♥♥了什么
what'd you buy online for me now?
"把我打碎"
"Smash Me."
-别 -我要打
- Don't do it. - Oh, I'm doing it.
这是什么
What is that?
里面是什么
What's in here?
罗恩
Ron.
你前夫的婚礼请帖
An invitation to your ex-husband's wedding.
可能我得说点什么
Probably wanting me to...say something
来帮你抒发♥情♥感
to help you express your feelings.
勇往直前
Onwards and upwards.
拿出你的女人气场来
Harness your womanhood.
女王范
Yas, queen!
-好吧 -好了好了好了
- Okay, well -- - There, there, there.
这并没有什么用而且你还有事
As much as this is not working, you're off the hook.
我知道你要在市里搞一个"性感威尔"巡游
I already know you have plans to parade "Hot Will" around town
就像展览品一样所以...
like a piece of meat, so...
你希望我留下来吗
You want me to stay?
准备好了
All right, ready!
准备好了
Ready?
准备好在外过夜了吗
Ready for some sleepover action?
宝贝我随时都有所准备
Honey, I bring the action everywhere I go.
-爱你 -爱你
- Love you. - Love you.
继续前进企鹅
Keep marchin', Penguin!
为什么我一直这样
Why do I keep doing that?
我不知道但我没事的
I don't know. But I'm gonna be fine.
安吉我是波比
Ang, Poppy.
你赶紧过来
I need you to come over ASAP.
我们办个"单身汉"之夜
We're having a "Bachelor" night.
着装正式
Dress code -- formal.
态度超婊
Attitude -- full bitch mode!
再见爸爸
Later, Pops!
过夜派对取消了
The sleepover's canceled.
路易莎发烧了
Louisa's been taken by the fever.
父亲把我的冰桶拿来
Father...bring me my ice bucket.
马上就来路易莎
Right away, Louisa.
我得先把孩子们送回家
I just need to get these children home.
别担心我们
Don't worry about us.
我们有手♥机♥ 我们会打给爸爸
We've got a phone. We'll call our dad.
衷心感谢
Sincerest thanks.
请为我们可爱的路易莎祈祷
Please pray for our sweet Louisa.
她已经烧到38度了
Her fever's broken 100.
我们要去哪
So, where are we going?
你说你会打给道格拉斯
You said you were gonna call Douglas.
拜托我们现在能去的最疯狂的地方是哪里
Come on. Where's the craziest place we can go right now?
我知道了
I got it!
学校
School?!
你想来学校
You wanted to go to school?
这就是让书呆子决定的后果
This is what we get for letting the nerd decide.
感觉到了吗威尔万众瞩目
Feel that, Will? All eyes are on you.
是吗我的屁♥股♥呢他们也看我的屁♥股♥吗
They are? What about my butt? Are they looking at my butt?
他们哪都看
Oh, they're looking at everything.
去吧让他们感受下弗洛蒙
Go ahead. Let them taste the pheromones.
当你说"我们去俱乐部"
Yo, when you said, "Let's hit the club,"
我以为你是指"舞厅"
I thought you meant "Da club."
这样你到处逛逛
Here's the plan. You're gonna walk the room,
拿到电♥话♥号♥码
you're gonna get the numbers,
米基和我就跟着你沾光了
and Miggy and I, we're gonna surf your wake.
我已经开第三瓶红酒了
Okay, I opened a third bottle of wine,
我们还穿着胸罩
and we are still wearing our bras,
这说明我们挺无聊的啊
which means that we're quite tame
毕竟这是"单身汉"之夜
considering it's "Bachelor" night.
看看这些型男
Look at all these hot people,
穿着钩针比基尼坠入爱河
you know, just falling in love in their crocheted bikinis,
跳下悬崖
diving off cliffs,