单亲

Single Parents S01E01

Part 4 Nov. 27, 2019, 11:45 a.m.

I mean, he doesn't have the arms,
但气场不错
but, you know, he might have the attitude.
-不要背心 -要背心
- No, no vest. - Vest.
-拜托不要背心 -要背心
- For the love of God, no vest. - Vest.
也许这件衣服更适合这里
Maybe this wants to live here,
-参加今晚的热舞派对 -有道理
- for tonight's dance party? - I'm seeing it.
*热舞派对*
*Dance party*
-拜托 -得了吧
- Oh, okay, please. - Forget it.
我们一直想让他唱歌♥跳舞都好多年了
We've been trying to get him to sing and dance for years.
没错很抱歉孩子
They're right. I-I'm sorry, kid,
我不去参加派对
but I'm not going to the party.
没关系下次吧
That's okay. Maybe next time.
干得好道格拉斯很好
Nice, Douglas. Real nice.
-罗里我穿那件背心 -什么
- Rory, I'll wear your vest. - What?
你的身材不适合穿背心妈
You don't have the right torso for a vest, Mom.
不要强求
Stop trying to make it happen.
-我懂的道格 -道格拉斯
- Ah, I get it, Doug. - Douglas.
你害怕出丑
Afraid to risk embarrassing yourself,
但是做父母最大的好处就是
but that's the greatest part of parenting is,
让自己跳出舒适区
it gets you out of your comfort zone.
我对这个没兴趣
Look, I'm not interested in leaving my comfort zone,
自从我妻子去世后就再也没有过
and I haven't been since my wife died.
-很抱歉 -不不不你好像要抱我
- Oh, I'm so -- - No, no, no, I see you want to hug me,
还是算了吧
and I'm gonna have to stop you right there.
不敢想象失去最好的朋友是什么感觉
I can't imagine losing your best friend.
她是个26岁的脱衣舞♥女♥
She was a 26-year-old exotic dancer.
穿裤子特别漂亮
She looked great in pants.
爱情真是有意思
Ain't love a funny thing.
我说 "我愿意要孩子"
Anyway, I said, "Okay, I'll have kids,"
以为自己只会换一片纸尿裤
thinking I would change one diaper
在他们十几岁之前就患上老年痴呆
and get dementia right before they hit their teens.
但她突然离世留我照顾两个小女孩
Instead, she dropped dead and left me with two baby girls.
我想说我不要意外了
The point is, I don't need any more surprises.
但任何时候尝试新东西都不晚
All right, but it's never too late to try something new.
我觉得这对你有好处道格
I think it'd be good for you, Doug.
道格拉斯
Douglas.
我觉得这对你女儿有好处
I think it'd be good for your girls.
你没必要一个人扛着
You don't have to go it alone.
我可以成为你的朋友道格
I can be your friend, Doug.
道格拉斯是道格拉斯
Douglas. It's Douglas.
我不需要新朋友了
And I don't need any more friends.
我们来这里
The only reason why any of us are here
只是为了不当志愿者
is so we can get out of volunteering.
等等
Wait, hold on.
安吉是真的吗
Angie, is that true?
我连软糖少年机器的事都告诉你了
I told you about Jelly Bean Teen Machine.
等等我们想帮你的
Wait. We wanted to help you.
-现在也是 -不用了
- I mean, we do now. - No, it's fine, honestly.
我们又不是朋友这是好事
We're not friends, which is actually a good thing,
这样我就可以承认我没扔美人鱼包了
'cause now I can admit I didn't throw away the mermaid bag.
我把它藏在芭比娃娃安东尼的衬裙里了
I hid it in the petticoat of Barbie B. Anthony!
拿着美人鱼包的男人
A man with a mermaid bag.
都怪奥巴马
I blame Obama.
我不知道怎么隐藏自己的软弱
I don't know how to cover up my mush.
但也许不是坏事
But maybe that's not a bad thing.
也许你们要软一点
Maybe you guys could actually use a little bit more mush.
威尔我愿意发塔可饼
Will, I will hand out tacos.
不不用了
No. Don't, okay?
太让我失望了
It's just disappointing.
我以为自己终于找到了一群
I thought I'd finally found a group
可以分享的朋友
that I could share this with.
-要举全村之... -别说
- It takes a vill-- - Don't say it.
要举全村之...
It takes a vill--
-停 -不不
- Stop! - No, no.
谢谢你们帮我安排约会
Well, thanks for getting me a date,
我要去赴约了
which I now have to go on.
苏菲我送你去奶奶家
Sophie, I'm taking you to Nana's.
要举全村之力我说出来了
It takes a village. Ha, I did it.
姑娘我好爱你
Dang, girl. I just love you.
我也爱你亲爱的
I love you, too, honey.
你五分钟之前就说过了
And also you told me five minutes ago.
不我在念给佐伊写的邮件
No, I was reading over an e-mail to Zoe.
我觉得可以了发送
I think it's good. Send.
什么你发送了
What? You sent?
必须要豁出去
You got to put yourself out there.
威尔明白是他告诉我要主动出击的
Will gets it. He told me to go for it.
今天的晚餐很愉快
That was a really fun dinner.
我喜欢你不看手♥机♥时的样子
I loved when you looked up from your phone.
不过你和你姐妹视频电♥话♥也不错
But it is good that you got to FaceTime with your sister.
你们解决了很多问题
You guys worked through so many issues.
我们可以亲热了吗
Should we make out now?
好啊
'kay.
这是真的
Oh, wow, this is happening.
-把裤子脱了 -牛仔裤脱掉
- Take your pants off. - Get these jeans down.
搞定了
There you go. Okay.
女人的触感
Oh, the touch of a woman.
我爱你
I love you.
你什么
You what?
晚安
Good night.
我的钥匙
Oh, my keys.
希瑟请开下门让我进去
Heather, please open the door. Please let me in.
我要进你家
I need to come into your apartment.
我只是一个每天
I'm just a dad who says
说"我爱你"一千遍的爸爸
"I love you" a thousand times a day,
这也算不上坏习惯
and that's not a bad thing.
你在里面吗我不爱你
Hi, are you in there? I don't love you.
我甚至都不确定喜不喜欢你
I'm not even sure I like you.
我的钥匙落你家里了
My keys are inside!
希瑟我是威尔·库珀
Heather -- Will Cooper.
你怎么能让格雷厄姆主动出击
How could you tell Graham to put himself out there?
他会受伤的等下你怎么有时间接电♥话♥
He's gonna get hurt. Wait, why are you answering?
你不是应该在约会吗
Aren't you supposed to be on a date?
我说了句动情的话
Well, I let out my mush,
现在这位女士非常感伤
and now there's mush all over this lady's apartment,
我的钥匙也被锁进去了
and my keys are locked inside.
你们说得对我做不来
You guys were right. I can't do this.
不过也许这是件好事
But maybe that's a good thing,
因为我挺喜欢单身的
because I actually like being single.
单身能给我更多时间去研究
It's gonna give me more time to figure out
苏菲的万圣节服装
Sophie's Halloween costume.
她要打扮成一位公主
She's going as a princess,
但我要去找纱
but I have to find my own spin on that.
那是警笛声吗
Uh, are those sirens?
是的但不是冲我来的
Yeah, but they're not for me.
-先生别动 -是冲我来的
- Sir, don't move. - Oh, they are for me.
天呐威尔威尔
Oh -- Oh, my God. Will. Will --
-你们好警官 -威尔怎么回事
- Hello, officers. - Will, what's going on?
我叫威尔·库珀
Will Cooper.
米基紧急情况上车
Miggy! Emergency! Get in!
伙计让你有娃的怪胎朋友走开
Dude, tell your weird parent friends to stay away.
我们还想保住排队买♥♥球鞋的尊严
We got to earn respect on the sneaker line.
于是我在草地上切掉了那个皮垂
So I cut off the skin tag on the green,
依然打了个小鸟球
and I still managed to make a birdie.
道格拉斯
‭Douglas.
威尔有麻烦了我们要走了
Will's in trouble. We got to go.
-什么我 -你只能找到我这个保姆
- What, I-I -- - I'm the only babysitter you got,
我可不怕罢♥工♥
and I'm not afraid to go on strike.
我前妻她在苏丹
My ex, she's in the Sudan.
她是人♥权♥律师她很厉害
She's a human-rights lawyer. She's doing great work,
我也不是怪她
and -- and, you know, I don't fault her for that.
我只是我从没想过要自己抚养孩子