单亲

Single Parents S01E19

Part 4 Nov. 27, 2019, 11:47 a.m.

苏菲
Sophie!
这下好了特蕾西·弗里兹
Great. Now Tracy Freeze
会有一个我的未接来电
is gonna have a missed call from me.
我该怎么解释
How am I gonna explain that?
我很抱歉爸爸
I'm sorry, Dad.
但你忠实粉丝他...
But your superfan, he's...
是假的
...not real.
威尔我慌乱之下写了比斯奇思的名字
Will, I wrote Biscuits' name down in a panic,
然后让他扮演你的忠实粉丝
and I asked him to play the role of your superfan.
真对不起
I am so sorry.
我明白了
I see.
我刚刚经历了
Well, I have just gone
从极度狂喜
from experiencing a high of euphoria
到无足轻重的
to a low...
现实
of now.
交还给你朱莉
Back to you, Julie.
特蕾西·弗里兹
Tracy Freeze?
对对是我打的
Yeah, yeah, no, I called.
只是想告诉你我车停在外面挺好的
Just to say how much I've been enjoying the overflow lot.
不等不了
Nah, it couldn't wait.
多美好的一天
What a day!
我真不敢相信
I can't believe how much money
自己给邻居小孩那么多钱帮我把垃圾桶拿回来
I was giving that kid next door to take my trash cans in.
是啊把他弄哭的感觉真好
Yeah, it felt good to make him cry.
现在不用给他钱了格雷厄姆可以玩冰球
Now that he's off the books, Graham can play hockey --
穿上一个月后就穿不下的护具
in pads that he'll outgrow in a month.
道格拉斯没有你逼我
Douglas, I could never have done this without you...
我肯定做不到的
forcing me to do this.
谢谢
Thank you.
欢迎来到我家有什么能帮你的
Welcome to my home. How may I help you?
安吉
Angie.
这是什么
W-What's happening?
我点了一份甜点
I ordered you a treat to say thank you
来感谢你教会我如何理财
for teaching me how to be financially responsible.
这要多少钱
How much were these?
不重要
It's not important.
-28块 -什么
- $28. ?- Wh-- ah --
我才不吃14块的纸杯蛋糕呢
I-I'm not eating a $14 cupcake!
我们要退货
We want to return those.
你什么也没学到吗
Have you learned nothing?!
放松道格拉斯
Relax, Douglas.
我们今天赚了好多钱
We made so much money today!
我把方便税砍了一半
I-I slashed my convenience tax burden in half.
本来就不该有方便税的
There should be no convenience tax burden.
方便税只是你偷懒的借口
The convenience tax is you being lazy.
好吧有钱白人
Okay, rich white man
家里自带桑拿一周只工作三天
with an in-home sauna who works three days a week.
还说我偷懒
?I'm lazy?
行我不管你了你接着挥霍吧
Okay, you're on your own. Go back to farting away your money.
行那我去了
Fine! I will, then!
不是去挥霍而是靠自己
Not the farting part, but the "Being on my own" part.
我不需要你的帮助
I don't need your help.
借过
Excuse me.
之前有没有一个叫肯的人住在这
Did a dude named Ken used to live here?
-滚 -我以前好像见过这堵墙
- Get out. - 'Cause I've seen that wall before, I think.
我可不会花14块买♥♥你
I wouldn't pay $14 for you,
但如果降到12 也许还有戏
but you drop your price to $12, it's a conversation.
道格拉斯
Douglas!
我的车被拖了
My car got towed.
我都让你停在合法车位了
I finally got you to park legally.
我亲眼看到
I watched with my own eyes
你停在没有涂色的路边了
as you parked by a curb that wasn't a color!
我有些未完成的违停罚单
I may have some outstanding parking tickets.
"未完成"就是"未缴"
And I mean "Outstanding" as in "Unpaid"
也就是说"我曾在许多
and also as in "I illegally parked
超酷的地方违停过"
in some really cool places."
你的幸福指数和我血压成正比吗
Does your happiness go up with my blood pressure?
好吧我载你去拖吊场拿车
All right, I'll give you a ride to the impound lot.
不用了我叫辆优步吧
No, I'm gonna call an Uber.
现在是高峰期但
It's surge pricing now, but --
不行
No!
好吧听着
All right, look.
对不起好吗
I'm sorry, okay?
我知道我的方便税太多了
I-I know my convenience tax is nuts.
只是
It's just...
如果我在邮局排着长队
if I wait in a long line at the post office
或者开车去折扣商场
or drive all the way to the bargain mall,
我就没有那么多时间陪格雷厄姆了
it's less time I get to spend with Graham.
感觉他才出生现在就八岁了
He was just born. Now he's 8.
再过不久他就18岁了然后
And before I know it, he'll be 18, and...
然后就这样了
then that's it.
我成单亲爸爸时已经很有钱了
I already had money when I became a single parent,
但生活仍让我措手不及
and it still felt impossible.
说真的我不知道你是怎么做到的
I honestly don't know how you do it.
但你让我很惊讶
But it amazes me.
天哪
Oh, boy.
行了可以了
All right, that'll -- that'll do.
走吧
Let's go.
如果我在拖吊场说那段话
Hey, do you think if I give that speech at the impound lot,
他们会不会直接把车还我
they'll just give me my car back?
你能哭吗
Well, can you make yourself cry?
也许需要点帮助
Mm, might need a little help.
你能帮我吗
Can you get me there?
当然
Oh, yeah.
威尔真对不起
Will, I am so sorry.
回想一下我不该雇演员
In retrospect, I shouldn't have hired an actor
来照顾你的感情
to protect your feelings.
但我得为自己说一句我也不知道
But in my defense, I didn't know
比斯奇思演技那么好啊
Biscuits had that kind of performance in him.
他让你爽翻了吧
He really took you on a journey!
确实
He really did.
但这种极度渴望成名的可悲想法
But it was a journey I was so pathetically desperate to go on,
把我变成了怪物
it turned me into a monster.
血腥玛丽加培根吸管上串个小汉堡
A Bloody Mary with bacon, tiny burger on the straw?
我把自己当成谁了
Who did I think I was?
法国气象学家迪迪埃·玛索吗
French meteorologist Didier Marceau?
我真蠢还以为自己有粉丝了
I was stupid to think I would have a fan,
更别说还是忠实粉丝了
let alone a superfan.
爸
Dad.
你喜欢播报天气吗
Do you like doing the weather?
很喜欢
I love it.
那没有忠实粉丝也没关系
Then it doesn't matter if you don't have a superfan.
就算永远也没有忠实粉丝也没关系
It doesn't matter if you never have a superfan.
你只要在意一个人的意见
Only one person's opinion matters.
法国气象学家迪迪埃·玛索吗
French meteorologist Didier Marceau's?
不你的
No. Yours.
睿智
That is wise.
谢谢
Thank you.
你真的觉得我永远也不会有忠实粉丝吗
You really think I'll never have a superfan?
不这句话我收回
No, I take that part back.
你至少会一直有一个忠实粉丝
You will always, always have at least one superfan.
你要是说"法国气象学家迪迪埃·玛索吗"
Ruin this moment by saying
就毁了这温馨时刻
"French meteorologist Didier Marceau,"
我就把你踢出去
and I will knock you out.
是长官
Yes, ma'am.
妈妈我说了
Mother, I told you,
我不知道热胶枪怎么回事
I don't know what happened to the hot-glue gun.
是你啊
?Oh. You.
你是来洗劫我的衣柜
Come to ransack my wardrobe
还是直接扮成我啊
or just assume my identity altogether?