单亲

Single Parents S01E03

Part 2 Nov. 27, 2019, 11:45 a.m.

谢了你最好了
Thanks! You're the best!
妈妈
Oh. Hey, Mom.
第一天开始啦
Day 1 realness!
是啊
Yeah.
很喜欢你的领带
And I love that tie.
我在药店买♥♥的
I got it at the drugstore.
好吧酷
Okay. Cool.
当心了米基熟客来了
Watch out, Miggy. Here come the regulars.
她们自称"酒馆员"
They call themselves the "Winebrarians."
别说她们是小群体她们是一个整体
Don't call them a group. They identify as a collective.
贝丝弗兰妮莉尔这位是米基
Bess, Franny, Lil... meet Miggy.
你雇了个男人是他要你雇他的吗
You hired a man? Did he make you do this?
他最好别来撩我们
He better not hit on us.
女士们我知道酒馆有女性主义使命
Ladies, I know the Winebrary has a feminist mission,
但我们需要男同盟
but we need male allies.
就是我爱女性
Exactly. I love women.
不仅仅是性感的女性
And not just the hot ones.
天呐
Oh, my God.
好吧要不还是不要跟她们说话了
O...kay. Maybe don't talk to them.
好吧
Okay.
猜猜怎么着抢手货
Guess what, hot shot.
我也要做肠镜检查了
I'm getting a colonoscopy.
我的屁♥股♥打败了你的屁♥股♥
My butt beats your butt.
我的屁♥股♥才是第一名
I've got the number-one butt!
-确实 -别这么下作威瑟斯老师
- Yeah, you do! ‭- You're better than that, Mr. Withers.
-你肠镜检查约在什么时候 -下个月
- When's your colonoscopy appointment? - ‭Next month.
我的在今天下午四点输了吧
Ha! Mine's at 4:00 P.M. today. Suck on that.
这是什么
What is that?
肠镜检查前奶昔
Pre-colonoscopy smoothie.
味道和普通奶昔一样
Tastes just like a regular smoothie,
只不过很恶心我喜欢
except it's disgusting, and I love it.
不好意思了我要去做肠镜检查了
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a colonoscopy to get to.
你知道他们会让你做手术
You know that they put you out for the procedure
所以你需要个人开车载你回家吧
and you need someone to drive you home, right?
我当然知道了
Of course I know that.
-需要我载你吗 -当然了
- You want a ride? - Yes, obviously.
波比到底去哪了我下班了
Where the hell is Poppy? I'm -- I'm off the clock.
我还有电邮要处理
I got e-mails to do.
好了孩子们自己玩去吧祝开心
All right, kids, scatter, mingle, have fun.
姑娘们我真的真的很感激
Girls, I am truly, truly humbled
今晚你们让我这个凶手
that you would allow me, the murderer,
在这策划小瓜的葬礼
to plan Pickle's funeral here tonight.
还有别的选择吗
Was there another option?
苏菲纪念小瓜的幻灯片准备的怎么样
Sophie, how we looking on that "In memoriam" Slideshow?
不太好已经过了最后期限了
Not good. The deadline has passed,
我只从我爸那边拿了两张图
and I only got two pictures from my dad.
其中一张还是角度很差的自♥拍♥
And one was a poorly aimed selfie.
-米基 -小苏你好啊
- Miggy? - Soph! What's good?
怎么回事
What's going on?
你在躲着吗
Are you hiding?
没有我只是在蹲着思考
No! I'm just crouching and thinking.
好吧
Sure. ‭
看来这份工作有很大一部分
It turns out, there's a really big part of my job
我忘了学
that I forgot to learn.
女士们品酒时间到
Ladies, it's wine time!
你连开瓶器都不会用
You can't use a corkscrew?
超难的
It's super hard.
可能那些女士们看书看入迷之后
Maybe those ladies won't notice there's no wine
就不会想起酒杯是空的了
'cause their books are so good.
-你看到这瓶子是空的了吧 -没错
- You see I don't have any wine, right? You guys see that? - ‭Yeah.
我不觉得你这计划行得通
Yeah, I don't think that plan has legs.
我同意
I agree.
米基怎么样了
Hey, Miggy, how's it going?
-开瓶倒酒瓶塞可吓不倒我 -好
- Poppin' and pourin'. Corks don't scare me! - Good.
苏菲我保证给你找到小瓜的照片
Sophie, I'm gonna get you that picture of Pickle. I promise.
不急
Not holding my breath.
罗里我应该给你葬礼钱的
Rory, I should have given you a budget for this funeral.
我的锅
That's on me.
来看看我在亚马逊上订的面罩
Come on. Let's check out the veil I ordered on Amazon.
他们说是这西班牙花边的
Spanish lace -- they claim.
看来小瓜要穿着格温妮丝·帕特洛
Looks like Pickle's gonna be buried in Gwyneth Paltrow's
在《莎翁情史》里穿的裙子入土了
"Shakespeare in Love" Oscar dress.
你的小孩正沉迷于死亡
Your kid's obsessed with death.
把悲伤的情绪藏在心里是不健康的
Yeah, well, it's not healthy to bottle up sad feelings.
我用自己的方式教女孩怎么处理情感
Oh, I've bred my girls to handle feelings the way I do --
抑制替代继续生活
repress, replace, move on.
我们从未有过关于情感的讨论
We never have emotional conversations.
这不可能
Oh, that can't be true.
当你提到孩子们母亲的时候呢
What about when you talk about their mom?
我们不谈她
We don't talk about her.
从来都不吗
You mean never?
这是我作为家长最大的成功之一
That's one of my biggest triumphs as a parent.
这件事以及让她们明白为我铺床
That and getting them to think that it's their job
是她们的工作
to make my bed. Yeah.
过节的时候她们会在我的枕头上
On holidays, they -- they put a little seasonal candy
放上一点点当季的糖来锦上添花
right on the pillow -- adds a nice touch.
道格拉斯艾玛和艾米需要一个
Douglas, Emma and Amy deserve a safe space
能让她们表达情感和提出问题的安全空间
where they can express their feelings and ask questions.
她们是没有妈妈的小女孩
They're little girls whose mom died.
真的吗波比多谢提醒
Really, Poppy? Okay, thanks for the update.
我觉得我自己需要一个安全空间
You know what -- I think I need a safe space
能让我用我自己觉得正确的方式教育孩子
where I can parent my kids the way I think fit
让我免受一个女人的说教
without being lectured by a woman whose son
儿子像对待总统一样对待啮齿动物
is treating a rodent like it's JFK!
你打算逃避吗
So you're just running away?
我要去做一开始就该做的事
I'm gonna do what I should've done in the first place --
抑制替代继续生活
repress, replace, move on.
女孩们上车
All right, girls, get in the Benz.
我们去宠物店买♥♥个新老鼠
We're gonna go to the pet store and buy you a new pig thing.
好好看看我们要买♥♥个新豚鼠了
Okay, look alive, ladies. We're gonna get a new guinea pig.
别待太久不然我们闻着会像宠物
Let's not stay too long, girls. We're gonna smell like pets.
开动吧
Let's motor.
效率点
Efficiency.
这就是你想要的扎辫子的机器人
That's what you want? Robots with braids?
比你家孩子好
They're doing better than your kid.
我杀了你们的姐妹
I killed your sister!
好吧你就继续这么做吧
Fine. Keep doing what you're doing.
抑制替代继续生活
Repress, replace, move on.
你就希望孩子这么面对失去宠物的情感
That's how you want your kids to handle the loss of their pet.
没错
Yep.
还有失去妈妈的情感
And the loss of their mom.
你说对了
You got it.
你也是这么面对的吗
Is that how you dealt with it?
我觉得你从未面对过
I'm starting to think you didn't deal with it at all.
这样更容易
It's easier this way.
-爸找到了 -我们打算叫她小瓜
- Dad, we got one! - We're gonna call her "Pickle"!
但这不是小瓜
B-But this isn't Pickle.
谁在乎呢
Who cares?
它就像一个全新的小瓜
It'll be like the other Pickle never existed.
像你说的抑制替代继续生活
Yeah, Dad, like you said, "Repress, replace, move on."
是啊像你说的
Yeah, like you said.
道格拉斯你还好吗
Douglas, are you okay?
我不好
N-N-No, I'm not.
其实我很难过
Okay? I'm -- I'm upset, actually.
你为什么难过
And why are you upset?
因为
I'm upset because...
这只豚鼠是个彻头彻尾的废物
this guinea pig is a total loser.
它长得像一只半成品负鼠
It's like God was trying to make a possum and gave up.
我们得找一只更好的
We have to find a better one.
我其实要歇一会了
I was about to go on break.