摩登家庭

Modern Family S03E23

Part 2 Dec. 3, 2019, 11:50 a.m.

It's like a fish and a turkey
联合胡椒然后斗个你死我活
beat themselves to death with a pepper.
你尽管说虽说有点吹毛求疵
Okay, fair enough. Maybe a little picky, though,
可每次你做完哥伦比亚特色菜
from someone who prepared a colombian specialty
不也会反问我 "蹄子你怎么不来一口
and said, "Why are you not eating the hooves?
这可都是精华啊"
They're the best part."
我回来了
I'm back!
小卡舅舅你回来了
Oh, hey, uncle Cam.
谢谢你那天晚上来接我
Oh, thanks again for picking me up last night.
小意思不过你得更加小心才是
You're welcome, but you have to be more careful.
我才是负责任的那个
I was the responsible one.
丽萨喝多了我收了她的车钥匙
Lisa was drinking, and I took her keys,
-然后 -我明白
- and then e-- - I understand.
舅舅高三那会儿也有过疯狂之夜
My senior year, I had a pretty crazy night myself
俺们农场那些碎玉米啊翻犁头神马的
involving a bottle of corn mash and an overturned plow.
-不是吧 -你是没见过当时那阵仗
- Seriously? - Yeah. You don't know terror until you've had to
我直视着密苏里州骑警的双眼
stare down the eyes of a Missouri State trooper
为自己酒后扰乱治安辩解
and talk your way out of a P.U.I.
亲爱的你又不喝咖啡的
Honey, you don't drink coffee.
我昨晚大半夜都没睡踏实
I do when I've been up half the night
担心我那只完工了三分之一的作业
worrying about a project that's only one-third done,
还有一条围裙要缝一副风景画要画
and I still have an apron to sew, scenery to paint,
再加上工作表全乱套了所以...
plus my normal crushing workload. So...
除非你有个更好的办法帮我提神
Unless you have a better way for me to stimula--
哦天哪
Oh, god.
没想到咖啡这么苦
God, coffee's bitter.
你这是第一次喝吗
That was your first sip?
好了我拿来了砂锅
Okay, I got the chafing dish,
盐罐和胡椒罐黄金搭档
salt and pepper shakers-- perfect matches, both.
我看这堆葡萄的摆放要再调整下
I may have to readjust my grapes.
是吗那我还是回避一下吧
Oh. Ow. I'll just give you a little privacy.
"灯光秀"又回来了
Welcome back to the light show. Hi.
嗨莉莉
Hi, lily.
嗨爹地
Hi, daddy.
莉莉
Lily...
亲爱的不行
Sweetheart, no.
不行不行今天咱不能这么玩
No, no, no, no. We're-- we're not gonna do that today.
等一下克莱尔实际上
Actually-- actually, Claire,
我们正在尽量不对女儿说"不"字
We're--we're trying not to use the word "No" So much.
我们刚读过的一本书上说
We just read a book that said
孩子们会从"不"字学会叛逆
children learn to rebel against that word.
所以我们要用换种活动去诱导她
So we redirect her into a new activity instead.
看好了
Oh. Here--well, just watch this.
乖女儿爹地在这儿
Lily, sweetie, hi. It's daddy here.
你想听点音乐吗
Would you like to listen to some music?
好的听吧
Okay. There you go.
看见了吗
See?
每一代人都觉得
Every new generation thinks
自己掌握了教育孩子的秘诀
they have cracked the code on child rearing.
看来最新的秘诀就是不提"不"字
What's the latest theory? Never say "No."
"不"就是老娘每天在家里的口头禅
I say "No" Every day in this house.
可夜半回床上她就忍♥不住狂喊"是"
But at night, she's a "Yes" Machine.
没有
No.
看来你这新办法非但不能让她消停会儿
Oh, it doesn't seem that she is redirecting her own energy
还让我们费了不少神
as much as using a lot of ours.
但你注意到没她正在逐渐把注意力
But do you see how she's slowly transitioning
从灯光转移到音乐上吗
from the lights to the music?
对对我看到了
Yeah. Yeah, I do.
轻松得都让我忘记曾今必须亲自
It's hard to believe there was ever a time
费口舌说"住手停下"的时光了
when we just said, "Stop doing that."
天哪别玩垃圾处理器
Oh. The garbage disposal.
莉莉不行不行
Lily, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
不如我们诱导你去睡个小觉吧
Now let's redirect you into a nap, huh?
实际上我们在尝试新办法
Actually, we're doing this new thing
孩子想睡觉的时候让她自己告诉我们
where we let her tell us when she wants to take a nap.
这叫"我的睡眠我做主"
It's called "Being your own nap captain."
过来乖女儿
Come on, sweetie.
菲尔
Phil.
你按门铃了吗
Did you ring the doorbell?
没有拿着咖啡没腾出手
Oh, no, 'cause I have these two coffees.
一杯给你
One is for you.
谢谢
Thank you.
我的生活大致如下一份全职工作
Here's my life-- a full-time job,
一个三岁的女儿还有一个正待领养
a 3-year-old, and a second one on the way.
加上为了帮忙
and as a favor,
我答应帮菲尔他们公♥司♥做一点事
I agreed to do a little work for Phil's agency.
麻烦就是我太出色了
The problem is, I'm very good,
我做得越好他们越离不开我
and the more I do, the more they want me.
一些任务我甚至故意晚些交工
I-I even turned in a few assignments late
为了让他们不要对我死缠烂打
so that they'd fall out of love with me a little bit.
可不就得这样
Right.
你在门外站了多久了
How--how long have you been standing here?
你没事吧
Are--are you-- are you all right?
没事
Oh, yeah.
你眼睛怎么眨个不停
'cause you're-- you're really blinking.
我一有压力就眨眼
I'm a stress blinker,
尤其是跟别人对峙的时候
and what really gets me going is confrontation.
很讨厌那感觉能避免就避免
I hate it. I-I avoid it at all costs.
手足无措
Terrible at it.
有一次我想跟一个女孩提分手
Once, I, uh, I tried to break up with a girl,
我绕了好大一个圈子
and I danced around it so much,
结果她都不知道我跟她分手了
she didn't know I had broken up with her.
二十年后我跟她老夫老妻了
20 years later, we're still married.
我非常抱歉
I am... Really... Sorry...
咖啡都凉了
about the cold coffee.
没那么凉还温[卢克热]着呢
It's not that cold. It's lukewarm, so...
-我得走了 -你用那词让我想到个事儿
- Okay, so-- - Funny story about that expression--
我家娃还小的时候呃我们...
when the kids were younger, um, we had a, uh,
有一个嬉水池
a wading pool...
间或卢克总捣鼓出点乱子
and occasionally, Luke would have an accident,
然后艾利克斯就吓得直叫
and, um, Alex would scream,
然后我们就说亲爱的没事
and we'd say, um, "It's okay, honey,
只不过在水里把"卢克热"[温]一下
he's just making it lukewarm."
-那么 -我得走了
- Wow, so-- - So I gotta get going,
-回头见 -好吧等一下
- but I-I'll see-- - Okay, wait!
我还是开门见山直抒胸臆吧
I'm just gonna come straight out and say it.
米切尔你在我们公♥司♥做得很好
Mitchell, you've done a wonderful job for the agency
既然你决定帮我们这个小忙
Since you decided you'd help us out for just a little bit.
而我们也不该再麻烦你对吧
And we couldn't ask for more, could we?
但我不希望合作就此结束
I wish it didn't have to end.
其实要我说的话你可以一直干下去
In fact, if it was up to me, you'd stay on forever...
-菲尔菲尔 -但我说了不算数对吧
- Phil, Phil... - But it is not just up to me, is it?
-所以 -菲尔我早知会如此
- So... - I... Phil, I saw this coming,
而且你看啊
And--and look...
我逃了我找了个借口就跑了
I bailed. I made an excuse and left.
但我必须和他实话实说
But I-I-I've gotta be straight with him.
"菲尔我不能永远帮你们公♥司♥干活"
"Phil, I cannot stay on with your firm forever."
天呐这一定会让他很伤心
Oh! God, it's gonna crush him.
要不让克莱尔帮我传个话
Maybe I can get Claire to do it.
真那样就好了
Well, that was easy!
我们以你为豪
We're really proud of you, buddy.
颁奖典礼上见
See you at the ceremony.
-你不是英雄 -是我把火灭了
- You're not a hero. - put out a fire.
你自己点的火
A fire you started.
-当时是不是起火了 -是的
- Was there a fire? - Yes.
-火是我灭的吗 -这不
- Did I put it out? - That's not--
你就回答这个问题
Answer the question.
是的
Yes.
他们要为此给我发奖
I'm getting an award for it.
如果他们要给纵火的发奖
If they gave awards for starting fires,
我还会再拿一项奖