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Modern Family S03E07

Part 3 Dec. 3, 2019, 11:18 a.m.

我又不擅长伤别人的心米奇尔
and I'm very bad at disappointing people, Mitchell.
我心已伤
Not all people.
我妈说的对
Mama was right when she said
她说我的魅力好比脱缰的种马
my charm was like a wild stallion--
如果控制不当定将毁家灭棚
If not properly bridled, it'll bust down a barn.
你想甩掉你的女友吗
Okay, you wanna get rid of your girlfriend?
把你♥妈♥的♥话复述一遍就是了
Tell her that story.
她过来时我会说的她一会儿就到
Maybe I will when she comes over. She's coming over.
你没开玩笑吧
Are you serious?
她说她正在附近办事
She said she was in the area running errands.
那我能说什么别来我家
What was I supposed to say, "Don't come over"?
也许我是该那么说
Well, I guess I could have said that,
可为时已晚
but it's too late now,
而且我想温柔地和她分手
Plus I wanna break it to her gently.
所以快来帮我将此地"去基化"
So come on. Help me un-gay this place.
我♥干♥脆走掉就少了一半基味了
You know what? I'll make it less gay by half.
这些花也得藏起来
Oh, these flowers should go, too.
你是说那些放在
You mean the ones underneath
你和某男勾肩搭背的照片下的花吗
the portrait of you cuddling another man?
说得对
Oh, good catch.
曼尼
Manny.
什么事老爹
What's up, big guy?
那个莎莎舞是不是很难学
How hard is it to learn this salsa dancing stuff?
一点都不难
Not hard at all.
重点是在舞步中带入你的感情
It's about tapping into your emotion,
你的激♥情♥ 你心中暗藏的火焰
your passion, and your inner fire.
狗屁
Crap!
我跳舞超烂
I stink at dancing.
我们跳婚礼上的第一支舞时
First dance at our wedding,
歌♥洛莉亚集优雅与华丽为一身
Gloria was all graceful and gorgeous,
我则是又笨又拙的大块头
and I was all big and clunky.
就像动画片《美女与野兽》里的那一幕
Like that scene from "Beauty and the beast."
事实上我们用的就是同名主题曲
Actually, that was the song.
是曼尼选的
Manny picked it.
当时他诚心让我出丑
He didn't like me back then.
背挺直很好
Back straight. Okay.
跟我一起做
Do as I do.
另一只脚
Other leg.
别像行军一样
Okay, stop marching.
你是在跳舞不是德军入侵波兰
You're dancing, not invading Poland.
爷俩好啊
Hello, hi!
我想找一下杰·普里契特
I'm looking for Jay Pritchett.
他身高188 硬汉一个
He's about 6'2", tough guy,
努力克服着恐同症
wrestles with homophobia...
你来这干嘛
The hell are you doing here?
我得离开家门
Uh, I had to get out of the house.
小卡和他的新女友要单独处处
Cam needed a little alone time with his new girlfriend.
["别问别说"是美军过去对待军队内同性恋者的政策]
-别问 -别说
- Don't ask. - Don't tell.
你们在干嘛
What's going on here?
他在学怎么跳舞可他太僵硬
He's learning to dance, but he's just so tense.
-完全不行 -因为你放不开自己
- It's not working out. - 'cause you're not letting go.
我尽力了你以为我不想舞步翩翩
I'm trying. Don't you think I want to be all smooth
博得你妈笑开颜吗
and make your mom happy out there?
可我就是不会跳舞就这样
But I just can't do it, that's all.
杰我不会放弃你的
Jay, I'm not giving up on you.
好了曼尼能让我们单独聊聊吗
Okay. Hey, Manny, would you give us a second?
谢了
Thanks.
爸我知道这样做有点怪
Dad, look, I-I know this is weird,
但我们爷俩其实很像
but you and I are a lot alike.
我们都太扭捏了
We're self-conscious, okay?
所以这个
So, um, here. Just...
这是啥玩意儿
The hell is this?
就是有些人会在夜店吃的那种东西
It's just something that some people take at clubs
用来放松自己
to, you know, loosen up.
你吃过这玩意儿?
You take this?
一个痛恨跳舞的基佬
A gay man who hates dancing
只能烂在自己的孤独小世界里
Lives in a sad and lonely little world.
这玩意儿能让你不再拘谨
This just melts your inhibitions,
让你激♥情♥欢跳一整晚
And--and you can dance all night,
同时也能让你"性致"大发...
Plus it gives you a raging--
我不想听
I don't wanna--
我不喜欢搞歪门邪道
I don't like this at all.
你就拿着吧以防万一
Just hold on to it. Just in case.
好啦没事
Come on. It's fine.
杰我要给你看点东西
Jay, I wanna show you something.
一位新西兰的农民教会一头猪翩翩起舞
A farmer in new zealand taught a pig to dance.
瞧人家猪兄那鼻子挺的
See how he keeps his snout up?
对就是这里
Yep. This is it.
来这儿干嘛
This is what?
这个
This.
我我做不到我没办法下车
I-I can't do this. I can't get out of the car.
对不起我太难为情了
I'm sorry. I'm too embarrassed.
你能不能告诉我到底怎么回事
Would you just tell me what's going on?
好吧我需要你读一下
Okay. I-I want you to go read
刻在那棵树上的字
what's carved in that tree.
妈你有点吓着我了
Mom, you're freaking me out.
照做就行了去读吧海莉
Just do it. Do it, Haley.
回家路上玩的开心呦
Have fun getting home!
摆在你眼前的就是困难
There's your obstacle!
什么你跟我开玩笑呢吧
What?! Are you kidding me?!
妈的...
Oh! Son of a...
擦啊怎么老是这样
Brisket! Why does that keep happening?
或许我需要个射钉枪
Maybe I need a nail gun.
得嘞行了我不玩了
Okay, that's it! I'm out!
什么意思你不玩了
What do you mean, you're out?
你去哪啊
Where are you going?
老爸恕我冒犯
Dad, no offense,
我见识过您拿喷胶枪搞出什么状况
But I've seen you with a glue gun.
要是把钉子弄进我脑袋可比胶水难伺候多了
I think a nail is gonna be harder to get out of my hair.
别别走啊我建这个可是为了你啊
No, don't go! I'm doing this for you!
是吗老爸
Are you, dad?
是吗
Are you?
孩子的话令我深思
The kid made me think with that one.
我做这个到底是为了谁
Who was I really doing this for?
有的时候我只要一说
Sometimes I just say,
"是吗老爸是吗"
"Are you, dad? Are you?"
老爸就会沉默不语
Because he gets real quiet
而且不会意识到我已经闪人了
And doesn't notice when I walk away.
好奇怪啊
It's weird,
只要在你身边我就觉得很心安
because I feel so comfortable around you already.
昨晚我回到家后
You know, last night when I got home,
我就开始想那些
I just started thinking about
我们可以一起做的趣事知道吗
all of the fun things that we could do together, you know?
是啊
Yeah.
我不想把你吓跑
I don't wanna scare you off,
但是我姐姐几周后就要结婚了
But my sister's getting married in a couple of weeks,
我可不想一个人参加婚礼
And I so don't wanna go to that thing alone.
或许你可以做我的男伴
Maybe you could be my date?
凯蒂你是个很好的女人
Katie, you're an amazing woman.
你聪明又美丽
You're smart, you're beautiful,
而且手袋都那么好看
And how fun is that handbag?
我接下来要说的你可能会有点震惊
This is gonna come as a little bit of a shock.
我是个货真价实的基佬
I'm fairly gay.
我不知道我怎么冒出这么一句
I don't know why I said that.
我我是个彻头彻尾的基佬
I'm--I'm totally gay.
基的无可救药
Just gay.
你是在告诉我你是同性恋吗
You're telling me you're gay?
是啊
Yeah.
为什么
Why?
我生来如此我是说你知道...