摩登家庭
Modern Family S03E17
Part 3
Dec. 3, 2019, 11:50 a.m.
每月如此
Every month.
没错 我是有点喜怒无常
Yeah, I get a little moody,
但身体不适的烦躁
but unrelentin physical discomfort
就会让人这样
will do that to a person.
他知不知道
Doesn't he know
他越是旁敲侧击 当我们疯子一样
that tiptoeing around someone like they're crazy
越是令我们抓狂
makes them crazy?
好的 你跟曼尼去吧
All right, you and Manny go ahead.
-卢克不舒服就留下来 -等等 什么情况
- Luke can just stay here with us. - Wait. What?
其实卢克看起来已经好多了
Luke's actually looking better.
-我好些了 -还是稳妥点好
- I am better. - Well, let's not take any chances.
-他在家休息 你们去吧 -爸
- He can stay here. You go ahead. - Dad?
爸爸
Daddy?
回见了 小家伙
See you later, buddy.
我们怎么办
What are we going to do?
不能让任何一个兄弟掉队
We leave no man behind.
我看我还是回家吧
I think I'm just gonna go home.
还有时间
We have time.
撤掉这些布置 办一场普通派对
Just take down the decorations and have a normal party.
在自家办场闷死人派对
Yeah, and throw a boring party in our house
一看就知道是今天下午仓促准备的
that looks like I just threw it together this afternoon?
-动脑子 -有其它选择
- Think! - Okay, we have a few options.
我可以在"阿米莉亚"餐厅给你弄到包间
I can get you the back room at Amelia's.
曾经把果汁洒在老板家白色地毯上
Spilled juice on the owner's white rug
还差点害死她的小孩 再想
and almost killed her toddler. Next.
保龄球场
Bowling alley?
不够有档次 你有什么想法
Not classy enough. What have you got?
真没用 你说
You're no help. You.
上周末 我去船上参加了派对
Well, last weekend, I did a party on a boat.
你说你去看望爸妈了
You said you were visiting your parents.
我需要离开你透透气
You're suffocating me.
什么样的船 说清楚点
What's this boat? Tell me about the boat.
我们在豪华游艇上举办了一场别致晚宴
Okay, we did an elegant dinner party on a luxury yacht
参加人数大约25个
for about 25 people.
可以在海湾转转 在月光下起舞
It takes you around the harbor, dancing under the moonlight.
好的好的 也许可以想个主题
Okay, okay. Uh, maybe we can-- we can make a theme out of this.
小卡的人生就是一次远航
You know, Cam's life is like a long voyage.
有时波涛汹涌 但永远一往直前
Sometimes choppy but--but always forward, ever forward.
-只有两小时 -快订吧
- We have two hours. - Book it.
你居然挺过了"空中飞人"
Hey, you survived trapeze class, huh?
没去成
Didn't happen,
本着基本的做人道理 我还是不说原因了
and common decency prevents me from telling you why.
足球比赛怎么样
How was the soccer match?
激动人心 一比一打平
Thrilling. 1-1 tie.
有个进球是个意外
One of the goals was an accident.
你去了我妈肯定很开心
I'm sure my mom was happy you went.
我不知道她今天是怎么了
I don't know what to make of her today.
她和一个家伙杠上了
She got into it with this guy,
我肯定她有意怂恿我和那家伙打一架
and I swear she was pushing me into a fight with him.
她现在喜欢暴♥力♥吗
Now is that something she'd want?
我不知道
I don't know.
我一直以为女人进化得比男人成熟
I always thought of women as the more evolved sex.
但是今天 我才真是大开眼界 杰
But after today... I've seen things, Jay.
我年轻时可不是省油的灯
'Cause, you know, I had my share of fights in my time.
知道不
You know that.
太烫了
It's too warm for me.
我记得有一次 我和迪迪过马路
Yeah, I remember this time I was crossing the street with Dede,
有个混♥蛋♥差点开车撞到她
and some jackass almost clipped her.
我把他揍到地上 脚踩在他脖子上后
I had the guy on the ground, my foot on his neck,
他的车才停下来
before the car stopped moving.
你的光荣历史大家都听过
Yeah, we've heard all those stories.
也许一睹真汉子杰的风采 才是我妈的期望
Maybe my mom wouldn't mind a glimpse of that Jay.
是我妈
That's her.
她要我帮忙去给小卡挑礼物
She wants me to help pick out Cam's gift.
我还是原来的真汉子 百分百纯爷们儿
I'm still that guy, you know. 100%.
见鬼 怎么弄个饼干都把手划破了
What the hell? How do you cut your finger on a cracker?
总之 如果我认为值得一战
Anyway, if I thought there was a fight worth fighting,
我绝对会挺身一战
I'd fight it.
盐进伤口了 痛死了
Ow! Now I got salt in this. That stings!
下次 别冲你老板大喊大叫
Next time, don't scream at your boss
这样他就不会让你周末工作了
so that he doesn't make you work during the weekends.
好了 再见
Si. Adios.
妈 你在骂谁呢
Hey, mom. Who were you yelling at?
你老爸 宝贝
Your father, baby.
他这周末没空
He cannot make it this weekend.
好吧 我承认
Okay, I admit it.
我希望杰在酒吧里猛揍那个荷兰佬一顿
I wanted Jay to kick that little dutch man's ass at the bar.
可在电♥话♥里和哈维尔讲了几句后
But two seconds on the phone with Javier,
我意识到了冲动鲁莽的下场
and I remember what that stupid hothead behavior gets you-
没有好下场
Nothing.
像杰这样冷静其实更好
It's better to be calm like Jay.
像杰和我那样冷静 好吧 我自觉排除在外
Like Jay and me. Like Jay.
我回来了
I'm back!
谁会想到 我把帅呆了的太阳眼镜给忘了
Wouldn't you know, I forgot my ding-dang sunglasses.
卢克 来给我搭把手行吗
Luke, could you give me a hand?
从来不奢望菲尔会回来 为他搞的那些花样
What were the chances that Phil had come back to apologize
向我道歉
for all the game playing
然后跟我开诚布公地
and have an open conversation with me
谈谈我的感受
about what I was feeling?
我去万圣节商店买♥♥了瓶假血
Okay, I got a bottle of fake blood out of the Halloween supplies.
在手指上抹一点 说你割到指头了
Put a dab on your finger, say you cut it.
然后我说得带你去看医生 轻松当飞人
I say I need to run you by the doctor. Easy trapezy.
知道了不
Got it?
咱飞人天堂见 哥们
See ya on the other side, brother.
一次也好 我希望菲尔能表示一下同情
Just once, I would like Phil to have a little empathy,
向我表达一下他理解女性的痛苦
give me some sense that he understands what women go through.
你们感觉好点儿了没
You feeling any better?
真不愿看见我家姑娘们都这么窝着
Hate to see the whole team on the D.L.
我的手指头
Ow! My finger!
听起来不妙啊
I don't like the sound of that.
我说的是一点儿
I said a little bit!
盖子掉了 然后我决定将计就计
The cap fell off. I decided to just go with it.
好吧 得先把你弄出去
Okay, we gotta get you out the back.
-天啊 这是怎么了 -就一个小伤口
- God, what happened?! - Oh, it's just a little cut.
不过保险起见 我得带他去看看医生
But to be safe, I'll run him by the doctor.
你疯了吗 得打急救电♥话♥
No, are you crazy?! Call 9-1-1!
不不 他们忙着呢
No, no, they're so busy.
伤口在哪 我们得按住伤口吧
Where's the wound?! We need to put pressure on it, right?
-我要吐了 -在指头上
- I'm gonna be sick! - My--my finger.
得给他上止血带 该往哪绑
Oh, he needs a tourniquet! Where do I put it?!
-我指头上 -住手 他什么事都没有
- On my finger. - Stop! There is nothing wrong with him.
-卢克 这是怎么回事 -我割到手指了
- Luke, what's going on? - I cut my finger?
-老爸 -多神呐
- Dad? - How crazy is that?
原来眼镜一直在我兜里 待会见
They were in my pocket the whole time. I'll see you.
菲尔
Phil!
到底是怎么回事 卢克
What is going on, Luke?
这一切都是老爸导演的
Dad staged the whole thing
好让我们去玩飞人 不带你们仨
so we could go on the trapeze without you three.
为什么
Why?
因为
Because...
因为
B-because...
就因为这个 你们都跟魔鬼一样
Because of this! You're all monster-ating!
-卢克别 -开什么玩笑 神啊
- Luke, no! - Are you kidding me?!Oh, my god! Oh, my lord.
抱歉 我知道你说过要严守党的机密 可我
Sorry! I know you told me not to say it, but I...
菲尔
Phil!
你就是这样教儿子的吗
Is this what you've been teaching our son?
女人都是不干净的麻风病人
That--that women are some kind of unclean lepers
得在床单下隔离一周吗
that should be hidden away under sheets for a week?
你知道这样有多冒犯吗
Do you have any idea how offensive that it?
我知道 亲爱的
I do, honey.
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