摩登家庭
Modern Family S03E15
Part 3
Dec. 3, 2019, 11:50 a.m.
The least I can do is buy you dinner.
我看过那房♥子 漂亮极了
I saw that house. It is gorgeous.
-我知道 -我们真为他们高兴
- I know. - We're real happy for them.
他们给我看了他们家孩子的照片
They showed me a picture of the baby.
那小家伙多萌啊
How adorable is that little guy?
是的 我们真为他们高兴
Yes, we're real happy for them.
行了 你该悠着点喝了
Okay, you might wanna slow down there.
怎么了 我在玩一种新型酒桌游戏
What? I'm playing a new drinking game.
叫做 "郁闷在心头 美酒喝进口"
It's called "Every time I'm depressed, I take a drink."
还真有那种游戏
That game exists.
叫做酗酒
It's called alcoholism.
抱歉 你说得对
Oh, I'm sorry, you're right. I'm...
我在自我沉沦 那一点都不好
I'm wallowing, and it's not cute.
敬高兴点的事
To happier things.
没错 敬高兴点的事
Yes. To happier things.
-高兴点的事 -对 -举杯
- Happier things, - Yes. - There you go.
我还记得喝前几杯时的事
I remember the first few drinks...
但是后来嘛 就只有支离破碎的记忆了
And, um, after that, the night's just bits and pieces.
我要干一件我以前从没干过的事
I wanna do something I never do--
显摆我家的孩子们
Brag about my kids.
今天 他们又聪明
Today, they were resourceful,
又有责任感 他们
They were responsible, they...
降价四成
Put 40% down.
带他们看5次房♥其实也是值得的
It was worth showing the house five times
等待着...
And waiting...
一年的等待
Almost a year.
开什么玩笑 谁他妈要...
Seriously! Who do you have to...
吹 那真的挺烫的
Blow. That's really hot.
你为什么不把它凉一凉 尝点这个
Why don't you let it cool down? Try some of the...
墨西哥人
Mexican!
[暗指孩子是通过不当手段贩卖♥♥来的]
那孩子明显是墨西哥人
The baby is clearly mexican!
所以 肯定不是混捐受精的
So, you know, the swirl is out.
那简直让人想...
Ugh. It's enough to make you lose...
我想想
Track.
这是我第4杯吗
Is this my fourth drink?
是我第4杯
It's my fourth.
我是不是说了两遍第4杯
I said "Four" Twice, didn't I?
我说了 是不是
I did, didn't I?
我想我们得需要四辆出租
I think we're gonna need four cabs...
-两辆 - 两辆 都是你害我的
- Two! - Two! You made me!
我 我貌似记得 有人还哭了
I-I vaguely remember... Someone crying?
如果我们找代♥孕♥妈♥妈♥
If we ever did surrogacy,
我想让你来捐精
I would want you to be the donor.
你那么聪明 还那么帅
You're so smart, you're so handsome.
别说了 应该是你捐啦
Oh, stop it! It should be you!
-你那么风趣又有才华 -好了啦
- You're so fun! You're so talented! - Okay.
真不公平啊 你们夫夫两个我都爱
It's not fair. I love you both so much.
如果你们要小孩
If you could have a baby
如果他是你们俩的结合
that was a mix of the two of you,
我会非常爱那个宝宝的
I would love that baby so much.
你嘴真甜
That is so sweet.
-我是说真的 -你真好
- I meant it. - That is so sweet.
天啊 伙计们 我们可以这么干
Oh, my god. You guys, we could do this.
我们可以的
We could do this.
我们可以生一个
We could make a baby
融合塔克家和普里契特家血统的孩子
that is half Tucker and half Pritchett.
你说的和我想的是一个意思吗
Are you saying what I think you're saying?
是
Yeah.
克隆吗
Cloning?
不是 不是
No. No.
我是说
I'm saying...
我捐出卵子
I give the egg.
是的
Yeah.
我捐卵子 这不就有普里契特血统了吗
I give the egg. That's the Pritchett side.
然后小卡 你就捐出精♥子♥ 对不
And then, Cam, you're the father, right?
然后 就 融合一下
And then we just, like, mix it
然后就把它放进代♥孕♥妈♥妈♥之类的肚子里
And put it in a, like, a surrogate lady thing,
然后砰 宝宝就有了
And then bang! We have a baby.
你是认真的吗
Oh. Are--are you serious?
你愿意那么做吗
You would do that?
我会甚感荣幸的
I would be honored.
二位 如果说我今天学到了什么的话
You guys, you guys, if there's one thing I have learned today,
那就是看着你们的宝宝
It's the pleasure of looking at your children,
然后从他身上看见你们俩的影子
And seeing both-- both of you in there.
而且我愿意让你们经历这种事情
And I want you to have that experience.
是的 我们期盼已久
Yeah. We want that.
还有更好的呢
And something else...
伙计们 我生的娃超棒的
guys, I make really good babies.
-是 -我好像有什么魔法卵子什么的
- Yes. - I have, like, magic eggs or something.
-是 -真是金牌卵子啊
- Yes! - They're golden.
天啊 菲尔啊
Oh, gosh. Oh, Phil,
我真 我真不知道该说什么好了
I don't--what do-- what do you say about this?
我觉得孩子将会是我们大家的
I think we're all having a baby!
来个桌抱
Aah! Table hug!
亲娘的七舅老爷啊
Sweet potato fries!
-我都干了什么啊 -我知道
- What have I done? - I know.
我当时想什么呢啊
What was I thinking?
我 我 我喝醉了然后就要生个娃了
I-I-I just get drunk and I bring a baby into the world?
那你就会生第4个孩子 我们4个人的孩子
That would be 4 for 4.
我绝对不能那样
I can't go through with it.
别慌 你还啥都没捐呢
Don't panic. You haven't donated anything yet.
况且 你的卵子还有活力吗
Besides, what are the chances your eggs even work?
或者我们干脆不承认说过那些
What are the chances we can pretend I never said that?
那太诡异了 那是我弟弟啊
It's weird. It's my brother.
然后就会有一个小孩出生
And then there would be this baby over there
是我的卵子发育的 却又不是我生出来的
That's my baby, but it's not my baby...
听着不错 你就这么说就行
That actually sounds good. Just say that.
再过两小时 我们去你♥爸♥家吃早午餐就会看见他了
We're gonna see him for brunch in two hours over at your dad's
那好像有点 太早[快]了吧
Ooh. That seems... Soon
而且很难面对
And--and hard.
如果我拿你当挡箭牌怎么样
What if... What if I blame it on you?
如果我说是你不同意行不
What if we say that you're not okay with it?
-不行 -为什么
- No! - Why?
你真不介意另一个男人给你妻子的卵子受精吗
Are you really okay with another man fertilizing your wife's egg?
-当然介意 听着都恶心 -就是
- Of course not! That's creepy. - Yes.
况且 万一你和小卡生出了更优质的孩子
Plus, what if you and Cam make a better baby than we did?
不会发生的 菲尔说了"不"
It's settled. Phil says "No."
你以为他们会相信 你顺从了我的否决吗
Like they're really gonna believe that I overruled you?
-也是 -对吧
- Right. - Come on.
他们会心碎的
They're gonna be crushed.
他们盼个孩子盼了好久
They've waited so long for this baby.
也许他们现在也想反悔了呢
Maybe they're having second thoughts, too.
看看 这是我和克莱尔的宝宝的样子
Look--this is what my baby with Claire would look like.
这是什么玩意儿
What is this? What...
我找到一个网站 父母可以上传自己的照片
Okay, well, I found a web site where couples can upload pictures...
然后它能合成宝宝的照片
and then it shows them what their baby would look like.
这是歌♥洛莉亚和我的孩子
This is... Gloria and I.
无法抗拒吧
Couldn't resist.
天呐 简直是曼尼的翻版嘛
Wow. That-- that looks exactly like Manny.
简直是像得诡异
Like--like weirdly so.
另一张是什么
What--what's this other picture?
别吃醋
Don't be jealous.
这张
But this...
是我和贾斯汀·汀布莱克的孩子
is me and Justin Timberlake.
[著名性感男星]
小卡 我们有个问题
Cam, we have a problem.
怎么了 你能天天念叨瑞恩·高斯林
Oh, what? You can talk about Ryan Gosling all day,
-而我刚说一两句 -不不不
- but the moment I say something-- - No, no, no,
关于这个孩子 我
About this baby. I...
我觉得我不能接受这样做
I don't think I can do it.
什么 为什么 这样很棒
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