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Modern Family S03E03

Part 3 Dec. 3, 2019, 11:18 a.m.

Bad doggy!
你想咬东西吗
You want to chew on something?
行没问题
Okay. Okay. Okay.
看这个
Look at this.
看这美味的鞋子尽情咬吧
Look at this delicious man shoe. Eat it.
来吧咬啊咬啊
Come on. Eat it. Eat it.
很美味的
Mmm! Yummy.
把鞋子吃掉
Eat the shoe.
来嘛咬这只鞋子
Eat his shoe. Come on. Eat his shoe.
就像这样
Yeah, like this. Look.
真好吃
Delicious.
妈妈
Mom?
松口
Drop it.
我
I--
别说了抱歉让你看到这一幕
Please. I'm sorry you had to see this.
你好
hello?
邓菲夫人您好我是校长助理罗丝
Hi, Mrs. Dunphy. This is Rose in the principal's office.
-您方便跟韦勒校长讲话吗 -好的
-Can you hold for principal Weller? -Yes.
你好克莱尔
Hi, Claire.
你好约翰她又犯什么事了
Hi, John. What'd she do this time?
事实上她们俩都在我这儿
Actually, I've got both of them in here.
她们俩真的吗
Both of them? Really?
艾丽克斯给海莉抄作业
Alex was letting Haley copy her homework.
被沃特斯老师发现了
Mr. Waters caught them.
真不敢相信
I-I don't believe it.
我会跟她们俩谈谈
I'm about to have a little talk with them,
所以她们会晚一会儿出来
So they'll be out a few minutes late.
约翰非常抱歉说句老实话
Um, I'm so sorry, John, and honestly,
我通常不至于如此教导无方我发誓
I-I really am a better mother than this. I promise.
你以前也这么说过
So you've said.
不是吧
Seriously?
不是吧你
Seriously? Oh. You...
抱歉打扰一下
Excuse me.
这是什么鬼东西
Hey, um, what the hell is this?
这片区域仅限上下车
This zone is for loading and unloading,
不是用来讲电♥话♥的
not for talking on the phone.
我知道但是我是在跟校长讲电♥话♥
Yeah, I know, but I was talking on the phone to the school
孩子们就要出来了所以
that my kids were about to come out of, so...
你知道这里有时间限制吗
Are you aware this zone has a time limit?
不我不知道
N-no, I'm not.
知道不姐现在还真想发泄几句
You know what? I do want to do some unloading.
我了解你这种人
I know your type.
你的生活太糟觉得自己很渺小
Life has been bad to you. It has made you feel small.
然后有一天某人给了你一身山寨警♥察♥装
And then one day somebody gives you a fake cop outfit,
一个玩具徽章和一个破领带
A toy badge and a little spongebob tie.
你突然就想报复社会了对不对
Suddenly it's payback time, right?
我告诉你
Well, I got news for you,
"法律与秩序：特殊停车警"
"Law & order: Special parking unit,"
[经典在播美剧《法律与秩序特殊受害者》]
我没错
Not my fault.
真对不起爸爸
I'm really sorry, dad.
没关系的
Oh, it's all right.
在学校吐过的又不止你一个人
Everybody throws up at school.
要是我在学校每吐一次能赚五分钱
If I had a nickel for every time I puked at school,
你猜我一共能赚多少
you know how much money I'd have?
三十五分钱
35 cents.
没错去洗洗干净我马上打给医生
Exactly. Now go get cleaned up, and I'll call the doctor.
爸等等我不用医生
Wait, dad, I don't need a doctor.
-怎么了 -前些天
- What's up? - The other day,
米奇尔舅舅送了一大袋垃圾食品过来
Uncle Mitchell brought over a bag of junk food
以便他和小卡施行快速减"犹"法
So he and Cam could do a jew fast.
-是果汁减"油"吧 -他说的肯定是"减犹"
- Juice fast? - I'm pretty sure he said "Jew".
随便吧我截获下来藏了起来全都吃了
But anyway, I took the bag, and I hid it, and I ate it all.
不是吧老弟
Oh, buddy.
我情难自禁我意志薄弱别鄙视我
I couldn't help myself. I'm weak. Don't look at me.
没关系的
It's all right.
没事的你从中获得了教训
It's okay. Hey, you learned a lesson.
惨痛的教训
A painful lesson.
我们爷俩都是
I guess we both have.
什么意思
What do you mean?
我一直以为自己是个
I always saw myself as a guy
上天入地无所不能的纯爷们
who could soar through the sky, dancing on a wire.
可我连离地六英寸的钢丝都走不过
I can't even get across one 6 inches off the ground.
也许这正是问题所在
Well, maybe that's the problem.
也许你之所以会摔倒
Maybe you keep falling
是因为你心里觉得摔下来也无大碍
because part of you knows that you can fall.
如果钢丝架得很高很高你就不会摔了
Maybe if the wire was much, much higher, you wouldn't fall.
卢克卢克卢克
Oh, Luke, Luke, Luke.
你是个天才
You are a genius.
来吧咱们有活儿干了
Come on. We got work to do.
太给力了我能先吃个甜甜圈吗
Yes! Can I have a doughnut first?
没问题
Yes, you can!
总算出来了超级邓菲无敌档
Ah, there they are, my super Dunphys.
我们很抱歉但我们...
We're sorry, but we just--
你没资格解释
You don't get to talk.
你们今天原本可以进步一些的
You had a chance to be better people today.
你可以学会和人相处
You, to be more well-rounded,
而你可以做个好学生
And you, to be a better student.
你们本来能给邓菲家增光的
You could have elevated the Dunphy name,
但恰恰相反你们却给抹了黑
But instead, you chose to tarnish it,
所以恭喜二位小姐
So, congratulations, ladies,
你们让家族名誉再次跌得无下限
You brought this family to a new low.
妈你是不是...
Mom, are you--
是的没错
Yeah. Yeah, I am,
可以的话希望你帮我解开这个
And I would actually like to get these loosened up, if I might.
-你以后还继续添乱吗 -绝对不会
- Are we gonna have any more trouble? - No, ma'am.
克莱尔需要我开车送孩子们吗
Oh, Claire, do you need me to drive the girls?
没事儿珍妮特没事儿
All good, Janet. All good.
尝尝奶酪团子吧
Goat cheese risotto ball?
不用了谢谢
No, thank you.
确定吗很好吃的哦
Are you sure? They're so good.
闪一边儿去
Walk away.
就算我精力充沛也很难控制住小卡
It's tough enough to deal with Cam when I'm at full strength.
但我跟他一样经受了"果汁速度减肥法"的摧残
But I have been fasting just as long as he has,
所以我也没力气
and I do not have the energy
去对付那个可怜的"大怪头"
to deal with a big, needy brisketcase--
大侩...大块头
Brass--basketcase.
小卡别生我的气
Cam! Don't be mad at me,
但你真的得吃点儿东西
But I think that you really need to eat something.
什么
What?
你应该支持我的
You're supposed to be my support.
离我远点儿你个狐狸精
Oh, away from me, temptress.
以前叫你狐狸精是爱你现在是真恨你
And I never thought I would call you that in a negative way.
我看她做过很多疯狂的事儿
I've seen her do a lot of crazy stuff,
但此次的疯狂又上升一个等级
But this is a whole new level.
这饼干是给人吃的吗
Is this a people cookie?
吃吧没事儿
You're good.
你只要说"是"或"不是"就行了
A definitive "yes" or "no" would be appreciated.
上次的蛋糕已经给我留下♥阴♥影了
Those cupcakes did a number on me.
你高兴了吧
Are you happy?
你让我自贱到吃鞋子的地步
You have reduced me to a person who eats a shoe.
-歌♥洛莉亚坐下 -你觉得很好玩吗
- Gloria, sit. -You think this is funny?
把我当狗一样地使唤
To talk to me like I am a dog?
我可没有把你当狗一样使唤
I'm not talking to you like you're a dog.
我只是请你坐下好把问题解决了
I'm just asking you to sit so we can get to the bottom of this.
好吧
Okay, fine.
真乖
Good girl.
拜托你自己给我机会的
Come on. You set me up.
歌♥洛莉亚你为何表现的那么疯狂
Gloria, why are you acting so crazy?
不就是条狗嘛
It's just a little dog.
不是狗把我逼疯了
It's not the little dog that is making me crazy.