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Modern Family S03E03

Part 1 Dec. 3, 2019, 11:18 a.m.

杰
Jay.
-杰... -怎么
- Jay... -What?!
-什么事 -你在打鼾
- What's wrong? - You are snoring!
我吗对不起
Me? Oh, I'm sorry.
看我家小宝贝
Look at her!
拜托说好了不许斯黛拉上♥床♥
Come on! We said no Stella in the bed.
狗狗还小呢
Oh but she's just a little puppy.
她八成是害怕了偷偷躲进我怀里
She probably get scared and snuck in.
是吗那为什么曼尼做噩梦的时候
Oh really? How come when Manny have nightmares
你不准他溜上♥床♥
you don't let him snuck in bed?
歌♥洛莉亚现在才早晨六点
Gloria, it's six o'clock in the morning,
咱能待会再讨论这个问题吗
can we talk about this later?
请正面回答她的问题杰
Answer the question, Jay.
我去查一查租赁合同
You know, I'm gonna check the lease,
但我很确信我们不能开个冰♥毒♥作坊
but I'm pretty sure we're not allowed to have a meth lab.
你真幽默
You are a delight.
那你这是在做什么
So what are you doing?
我觉得你会喜欢的我要进行"果汁速度减肥法"
I think you're gonna like this. I'm going on a juice fast.
我爱死了
Mmm. Love it.
讨厌死了面对现实吧
Hate it. Let's face it,
肚大腰圆的小卡原本就容易情绪失控
A well-fed Cam is hardly a model of emotional stability.
一旦断粮阶段性地往下发展
Now deprive him of food, and stage by stage,
他便缓缓驶入疯狂的境地
it's a slow descent into madness.
阶段一大清扫
Stage one--the clean sweep.
毒货
Poison.
毒货
Poison.
-毒货啊 -你觉得这周节食合适吗
- Poison. - Do you think that this is the best week to be doing this?
怎么不合适
Why not?
-我们要去我老板家参加慈善晚会 -那又怎样
- Well, we have that charity thing at my boss' house. - Oh, so what,
我想追求健康生活
I'm supposed to put off my quest for wellness
还必须等到咱俩没有应酬吗
until we're no longer socially in demand?
我人见人爱没应酬是不可能的
That will never happen. I'm too charismatic.
不别扔饼干
No. No. Not the cookies.
饼干扔立决
Of course the cookies.
你干嘛总希望我减肥失败
Why do you always want me to fail?
阶段二拿米奇尔撒气
Stage two--attack Mitchell.
一旦他经不住能多益巧克力酱的诱惑
Because when his diet crashes and burns
减肥计划流产
into a giant pile of nutella,
就把错全怪到我身上
I'm the one he's gonna blame.
不这回可不行
Well, no, not this time.
这样我决定和你一起减
You know what? I'm gonna do the fast with you.
减肥计划很棒我们应该一起执行
I think it's a great idea, and we should do it together.
我们齐心协力夫夫齐心战美食
So we're on the same team, you know, us versus food.
你的心思我一清二楚
I know what you're doing...
我真的很感动
and I really appreciate it.
不那将对我也有好处
No, it'll-- it'll be good for me.
我最近也重了几磅
I've actually put on a few pounds.
是啊之前我都不好意思开口说你肥了
Yeah, well, you know, I didn't want to say anything.
尽管各大股指直线下滑
As the stock market plummeted,
勇敢的年轻人仍不畏高空
brave young men took to the skies,
引领我们进入勇敢无畏的黄金年代
ushering in the golden age of the daredevil.
可敬的人类
How awesome are people?
真可敬
So awesome.
去开门吧伙计我按暂停了
You wanna get that, buddy? I'll pause it.
-卢克还好吗 -好啊米奇尔舅舅
- Hey, Luke. How's it going? I-- - Hey, uncle Mitchell.
我真没时间闲聊正在看电影呢
I really can't talk. I'm trying to watch a movie.
好吧我只是把这袋垃圾食品拿过来
Oh, okay, well, I just wanted to drop off this bag of junk food.
继续说
Go on.
小卡和我在实行"果汁速度减肥法"
Uh, Cam and I are on a juice fast,
所以美食放在家里...
so having this stuff in the house--
我懂了再见
I connected the dots. See ya.
看到那位年轻的钢丝奇人
Seeing that weird, wonderful little man
精彩的寻梦之旅我不禁在想
pursuing his dream of walking on a tightrope made me think
或许我也该追求自己的梦想
maybe I could pursue my dream...
拿好了伙计
Here you go, buddy.
我也要走钢丝
of walking on a tightrope.
加油老爸你行的你可以的
Come on, dad! You got this! You can do this!
全神贯注保持冲劲
Stay focused! Stay hungry!
没事吧伙计
You okay, buddy?
什么当然没事
What? Yeah, hell, yeah, no.
就是为我老爹感到自豪
Just proud of my dad!
那袋子里有好多巧克力
There was a lot of chocolate in that bag.
菲尔亲爱的该送卢克上学了
Phil, honey, you gotta take Luke to school.
好的
Got it.
好的刚才4次里有3次没掉下来
Okay, I haven't fallen three out of the last four times.
今天下午咱要悬空踩了
This afternoon, we go airborne.
孤零零一个人坐在桌前
Sitting all by yourself at the table.
这一幕似曾相识啊
Now where have I seen that again?
对了每天在学校自助餐厅都看到
Oh, right. Every day in the school cafeteria.
我选择一个人坐的
I do that by choice.
是校友们选择冷落你吧
The school's choice.
你的绰号♥就是"校选之花"吧
Isn't that your nickname?
海莉对妹妹友善点
Haley, be nice to your sister.
艾丽克斯回得好
Alex, good save.
妈妈签个字
Mom, sign this.
这是什么
What is it?
校方终于准我升入中级数学班了
They finally bumped me up to the harder math class.
高中数学第三♥期♥ 沃特斯老师教
Third period, Mr. Waters.
什么不妈妈你不能签
What? No, mom, you cannot sign this.
我在那个班上课
This is my class.
你才高一学高二数学太早了吧
You're a freshman. What are you doing in second-year math?
你都高三了干嘛还赖在高二数学班里不走
You're a senior. What are you still doing in second year math?
不是赖着不走姐是重修
Not "Still." "Again."
艾丽克斯别对姐姐那么刻薄
Alex, be nice to your sister.
海莉回得不行
Haley, not a good save.
就知道和你同校肯定受打击
I knew it would suck having you at my school.
你估计得忍♥耐一下
Well, hang in there.
再过几年留在学校的又是你一人了
A couple more years, you'll have it all to yourself again.
走吧姑娘们
Come on, girls.
杰看她干得好事
Jay, look at this.
全毁了
It's ruined.
斯黛拉干的她啃我的鞋
Stella did this. She chew on my shoe!
那只笨狗欠管教
You have to discipline that stupid dog.
我经常管教她的
I discipline her all the time.
真的吗怎么管的赏她吃纸杯蛋糕吗
Oh, really? How? By buying her little cupcakes?
那不算纸杯蛋糕
They're not real cupcakes.
那是狗狗奖励用纸杯蛋糕形式发放
They're doggy treats in the form of cupcakes.
你该在曼尼误食之前告诉他的
Yeah, you should have told that to Manny before he ate one.
没关系他现在可是皮光水滑啊
Oh, come on. His coat never looked better.
要是她把你的鞋啃成这样看你还乐不乐
You wouldn't find it so funny if she was destroying your shoes.
我从不乱扔鞋子也就不会...
Well, I don't leave my shoes laying around, so...
这么说鞋子挨啃是我自作自受了
So it's my fault that she chooses to chew my shoe?
我没这么说这可是你自己说的
I didn't say that. You barely said it.
你不能再这么宠着她了
You have to stop coddling her.
我没宠着她
I don't coddle her.
干嘛
What?
她在喝我的洗澡水呢
She tries to drink the water.
可逗了
It's funny.
上课的时候不许看我也不许给我发短♥信♥
You don't look at me in class. You don't text me.
谁会上课的时候发短♥信♥啊
Who would text during a class?
你真是个怪胎
What are you?
亲爱的我知道现在这个情况
Hon, I realize that this situation is not ideal
对你们两个都不理想
for either one of you,
但有时候逆境出人才嘛
but sometimes we just rise above things. Yes?
打扰一下你注意到了路缘是黄色的吗
Excuse me. Did you notice the curb here is painted yellow?
没我没注意
Uh, no, I did not.
奇怪了这代表"上下车区域"
Wow. It means loading and unloading.
好吧我就停一小会让她们下车
Okay, well, I was just dropping off my kids.
我怎么还没看见有人下车呢
And yet I see no kids emerging from the vehicle.
我们在聊天
Well, we were chatting.