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Modern Family S03E03

Part 2 Dec. 3, 2019, 11:18 a.m.

不怕惊着您长官
At the risk of surprising you a third time, officer,
我这么停车已经好几年了
I've been dropping off here for years, and I--
-开走 -没问题
- Move it. - Okay. You betcha.
她有毛病吧
What was her problem?
我教你你该这么回她...
Oh, you know what you should have said to her--
什么都不说最好我不回嘴
Nothing. I should have said nothing would be the point.
我们抬头不见低头见
I have to see her every day.
何必把事情搞得那么僵呢
I mean, why make it worse?
我想表达的就是这个意思
That's exactly what I'm talking about.
人生不如意事十有八♥九♥
Awkward, unpleasant situation--
逆境成功
rise above.
过得愉快
Have a nice day.
爱你们哟
Love you!
拜拜
Bye-bye!
"我怎么还没看见有人下车呢"
"And yet I see no children emerging from the vehicle."
再啰嗦赏你一记粉拳看看
How'd you like to see my fist emerging into your face?
我怎么这么暴♥力♥
Oh! Now I think of it!
"果汁速度减肥法"的第四天
Day four of the juice fast,
我很饿但是感觉很好
and I'm hungry, but I'm-- I'm feeling pretty good.
可是小卡已经
Cam, on the other hand, has gone all...
边缘精神错乱了
"Girl, Interrupted."
[美国电影讲述边缘神经错乱女孩的故事]
继阶段一食物大清扫
After one, throwing out all of our food,
和阶段二拿我撒气
and two, blaming me,
他进入了第三阶段肥皂剧女王
he entered stage three-- soap actress.
真希望我的傻妹妹多为自己想想
I just wish my sister would put herself out there more.
她如此多才多艺
She has so much to offer.
为何男人都如此肤浅
Why are men so superficial?
随之而来的是第四阶段
That was followed by stage four--
间歇性中邪
a rush of epiphanies...
我不需要食物
I... Don't... Need... Food.
看啊到处都是别致的建筑
Look at this. Architecture is everywhere.
西班牙的运动健将层出不穷
Oh. Spaniards make amazing athletes.
接下来是第五阶段绝望主夫
Into stage five--despair...
爹地我们藏好了但是你没来找我们
Daddy, we hided, but you didn't seek.
小卡
Cam?
然后是狂躁状态
Then came rage.
手里拿的啥啊
Hey. Whatcha got there?
好消息是
The good news is,
小卡从来没坚持过这么久
Cam's never made it this far into a diet before, so...
坏消息是我对下一阶段会怎样一无所知
Downside--I have no idea what the next stage is gonna be.
但是我可以肯定
But I'm pretty sure
他此时的状态不适合参加派对
it's not charming party guest.
小卡我在考虑
Cam, I-I was thinking,
明晚我独身赴会接受老板的摧残吧
I'll take the bullet tomorrow night at my boss' house.
你不必去参加的
You don't have to go to the party.
那些人特无聊
They're--they're boring.
还净做傻事人也多
Silly cause, you know, lots of people.
车位也紧张
Parking...
-小卡好歹说句话啊 -你为何如此恨我
- Cam, say something. - Why do you hate me?
我不恨你啊
I don't hate you.
那为什么要把我驱逐出你的生活
Then why are you trying to push me out of your life?
因为你看起来有点
Because you--you seem a little...
精神错乱
unhinged.
知道我在想什么吗
Okay, well, you know what I think?
你应该少操♥我♥的心
You should worry a little bit less about me
多操心你自己
and a little bit more about yourself
想想明晚穿什么吧
and what you're gonna wear tomorrow night,
我看到了你选的那套了
because I saw what you have laid out,
要是穿那套拍照你一定悔不当初
and I don't think you're gonna like the way you look in photos.
我没决定穿那套啊
Well, I hadn't landed on that.
她几乎五秒钟就要举一次手
Her hand's in the air, like, every five seconds,
还主动提醒沃特斯先生布置家庭作业
and she actually reminded Mr. Waters to assign homework.
同学怨声载道你知道我有多尴尬吗
The class loved that. Do you know how embarrassed I was?
没有我尴尬
Not as embarrassed as I was
她说8是质数 8唉妈妈
when she said 8 was a prime number. 8, mom.
行了你们听着
Okay, fine. You know what?
我今天就给学校打电♥话♥ 把你们课表换掉
I'm gonna call the school today and have your schedules changed,
但是你们要知道我今天很失望
but I want you to know a little part of me died today, okay?
我还以为你们能明白
I thought the two of you could understand
姐妹同班对你们都有好处
how being in the same class would benefit you both.
艾丽克斯你可以辅♥导♥海莉的功课
Alex, you--you could've tutored Haley.
海莉你可以教艾丽克斯交往之道
Haley, you could've helped alex with her social skills.
拜托你们本该成为超级邓菲无敌档
Come on. The two of you could've been two Super Dunphys.
但现在呢你们像什么样邓菲反♥目♥吵嘴王
And instead, what are you? Two bickering Half-Dunphys,
我真是痴人说梦才对你们抱期望
and I'm the fool that expected more.
停我不想听给我上楼去
No, I don't even want to hear it. Just go upstairs. Go.
这唱的是哪一出啊
What was that?
虎妈独家育儿经
That was a master class in parenting.
现在我们的女儿在楼上
Right now our daughters are upstairs
自以为是地做着决定
making a decision they think is their own,
但实际上都是我巧妙植入的潜意识
But really, it was an idea that was skillfully implanted by me.
成盗梦师啦克莱尔
Inception, Claire.
玩的就是心跳我很喜欢
Dangerous game, but I like it.
那是什么
What are those?
走钢丝专用鞋
Wire walkers.
所谓工欲善其事必先利其器
You want to go to the dance, you gotta wear the shoes.
带上照相机卢克
Luke, grab your camera.
卢克
Luke.
我没睡着
I wasn't sleeping.
亲爱的那好像是...
Honey, I-I think those are...
爵士舞鞋
Jazz shoes.
不是是钢丝鞋
No. Tightrope shoes.
别人搬家大拍卖♥♥时买♥♥下的只穿过一次
Got 'em at an estate sale. Only worn once.
那可不适合...
That--that is not a ringing endorsement for...
菲尔亲爱的
Oh! Phil, honey.
拜托小心点
Please be ca--careful. Right.
小心别撞门
Watch the door.
你第三题答案多少
Hey, what'd you get for number 3?
如果我直接告诉你答案你就学不到东西了
You're not going to learn if I just give you answers.
那如果我给你一点回报呢
Well, what if I gave you something in return?
比如什么
Like what?
你在班上可以跟我讲话
You can talk to me in class.
午餐时间我要和你们人气王坐一桌
I want lunch at the cool table.
那我要所有题的答案
Then I want all the answers.
延续一周午餐同坐
Then I want a week at the table.
-两次测试答案 -一个月
- That'll cost you two pop quizzes. -A month.
-外加期中考试 -成交
-The midterm. -Deal.
老爸挺有范啊
Looking great, dad.
走出这几步我就打破了束缚
With these steps, I break the surly bonds...
上帝保佑
Chicken in a basket!
别拍我
Don't look at me.
-老妈老妈 -怎么了怎么了
- Mom. Mom. Mom. -What? What? What? What? What?
妈妈你打电♥话♥给学校了吗
Mom. Mom. Did you call the school yet?
还没呢我正准备打
Uh, not yet, but I was just about to.
哎哟我去
Uh, Bartles & Jaymes!
那就好仔细考虑之后
Good. Because we are thinking
我们觉得挺想在一个班的
We might want to stay in that class.
真的吗孩子们我不确定啊
Really? Oh, girls, I don't know about that.
拜托了再给个机会吧
Oh, please let us try it.
超级邓菲无敌档
Super Dunphy?
我抓不住了抓不住了
I can't hold her! I can't hold her!
好吧就再待一个星期
Well, maybe one more week.
谢谢妈妈
Thanks, mom.
好像吃过一碗汤一份科布色拉
I don't know. Uh, a cup of soup, a cobb salad.
对里面有培根
Yeah, it had bacon.
小卡我没时间跟你讲我今天吃了什么
Cam, I don't have all day to describe all my meals to you.
别再咬我的东西了你个愚蠢的畜生
Stop eating all my things, you stupid animal.
不是小卡我不是在说你
No, Cam, not you.
我回头给你电♥话♥
I'll call you back.
坏狗狗