摩登家庭

Modern Family S03E13

Part 4 Dec. 3, 2019, 11:50 a.m.

如果你们相信的话
If you believe that,
我有些会说话的哈巴小猎犬很乐意卖♥♥给你们
I have some talking puggles I'd like to sell you.
你相信吗
Do you believe this?
会说话的狗我很怀疑
Talking dogs? I'm skeptical.
-我赢过最佳猎犬奖两次 -强硬
- I won the puggly. Twice. - Be strong.
我很高兴我的对手提起这事
I am glad that my opponent brought this up,
比起对我的了解大家从中更能了解到他的人品
as I feel that it speaks to his character more than mine.
我认为现在应该把讨论提升一个档次
I think that we should raise the level of discourse
回到那些我们的选民
and get back to the issues
真正关心的问题上来
that the voters really care about.
当他裸着的时候你穿的什么
When he was naked, what were you wearing?
我我认为这与本次辩论无关
I... don't think that's relevant.
你是性变♥态♥吗
Are you sex freaks?
我的个人生活和这次辩论毫无关系
My personal life has nothing to do with this.
我的对手提起这事就是为了
Uh--the--my opponent has brought this up
把公众注意力从他的政绩上转移
to distract from his own record,
因为他在六年的时间里
which shows that in--in six years,
除了制定一项"允许私人派对上
he has achieved nothing more than writing one ordinance
出现八条以上的狗"的条令之外一无所成
that allows private parties to have more than eight dogs.
简直就跟目睹兴登堡惨案一样
It's like watching the "Hindenburg."
这是我这辈子见过的最悲惨的事情了
This is the most horrible thing I've ever seen in my life.
-抱歉 -还有更惨的
- Excuse me! - Stand by.
我就是菲尔·邓菲而且我不是变♥态♥
I am Phil Dunphy, and I am not a pervert.
我和这镇子里很多的男士一样
I, like a lot of men in this town,
喜欢和我老婆滚床单
enjoy making love to my wife.
我是说和他们各自的老婆滚
I mean, um... I mean with their wives.
各滚各的
Not me, them.
听着或许我应该只是坐在那里默不作声
Look, I should probably just sit down and say nothing.
但是为时已晚
But it's too late.
我已经站起来了很显然我也在说话
I am standing, and I'm obviously talking,
而现在你们也都盯着我看
and now you're looking at me,
我就感觉我应该继续说下去
and I feel the need to keep going.
首先一点
First of all...
没有书面的正式起诉
no charges were filed.
大家一笑而过
Everyone had a good laugh--
觉得挺滑稽不是说笑话我
about the situation, not--not about me.
我"硬件"正常得很
Everything's fine down there.
总之
Anywho...
说到哪了
Where were we?
红遍了YouTube啊
All over YouTube.
还是做了网络红人
We went viral.
不知道哪个狗♥杂♥种♥给我弄了个电音版
Some sick bastard auto-tuned me.
俺
I...
和这镇子里
like a lot of men
公共频道浪里浪电音版 16♥4♥342次浏览
很多的男士一样
in this town
俺跟媳妇下不了床不了床
I enjoy making love to my wife--wife
俺这永动机特别夯
And I don't know how to stop.
一副浪荡模样
I am a pervert.
浪里格浪
Pervert--per--
杰曼尼
Jay! Manny!
我们早就该到那了
We should have been there already!
歌♥洛莉亚我正系领带呢
Gloria, I'm tying my tie!
我穿戴搭配呢
I'm accessorizing!
原来家里我最爷们儿
And I thought I was the woman.
忘关门了
The door.
喂斯黛拉别啊
Ay! Estella, no! No!
别啊别动
Ay! No! No!
斯黛拉别想不开别自寻短见啊
Estella, don't do it! Don't kill yourself!
你是个超级棒的狗狗
You are a perfectly fine dog!
我不讨厌你
I don't hate you!
斯黛拉好吧我对你是有点刻薄
Estella, okay, I was a little mean to you,
但你也不至于寻死啊
but that's no reason to kill yourself!
小年轻啊
You are young!
花花世界还有很多"闻"所未"闻"呢
You still have so much left to smell!
不
Ay!
我我来了
I am--I go!
等着我
I'm coming!
我曼尼
I'm--Manny!
坚持住斯黛拉
Ay! Come on, Estella!
-咋回事 -你还好吗
- What happened? - Are you okay?
她又跳了
She did it again.
-然后你湿身救它了 -不是啊
- And you jumped in to save her? - No, Jay!
我就是赶在婚礼前小游一下啊
I wanted to take a little swim before going to the wedding!
给她条浴巾冻得直哆嗦
Get her a towel. She's shaking like a leaf.
不不不我意思是
Oh, no, no, I meant--
-您请用 -谢你八辈儿祖宗
- I meant-- - Thank you, Jay.
我就配条狗浴巾
The dog towel for me.
我可是你老婆啊
For the wife.
你们好
Hi!
你们好啊
Hey, guys. Hi.
好啊有啥新鲜事没
Hi. Hey, what's shaking? What's cooking?
你们看了辩论了吧
You saw the debate, didn't you?
辩啥那不是在
The de-what? No, that wasn't--
今天吗是今天吧
That was today? No, no. Was that on today?
我忘了
Oh, I didn't remember.
扯谎也下点功夫好吗
You are the worst liars.
辩论实在太精彩了
It was phenomenal television.
莉莉
Oh, Lily.
多么那啥的
What a...
裙子啊
Dress.
这才哪儿跟哪儿啊
Oh, well, you ain't seen nothing yet.
开开眼走着
How about there... we go.
我去跟"点阵画图"似的
Yikes. She looks like a lite brite.
卢克亲爱的
Luke, honey.
莉莉宝贝儿做花童兴奋吗
Lily, sweetie, are you excited to be a flower girl?
是吧
Yeah?
有点小紧张
Little bit nervous?
是吧
Yeah?
她为什么不理我她也看了辩论是吧
Why isn't she talking to me? Did she see the debate, too?
没她被和谐了
Nope, she's on verbal lockdown.
-咋了 -她整天嘴里都吧唧一个脏字
- Oh? - She's been dropping a certain curse word all day.
就是这情况我们希望她
Mm. Yeah. Yeah, so we're just hoping
别在婚礼上口无遮拦
the next one doesn't happen during the wedding.
要是没拦住她就是咱家今天
If it does, it'll be the second most embarrassing thing
丢死人不偿命小组的二把手了
to happen to our family today.
菲尔你说没那么糟糕的
Phil, you said it wasn't that bad.
车上飞机满嘴跑教堂不敢瞎胡闹
That was in the car. We're in a church now.
亲爱的
Honey...
来个人把她"灭"了吧慎得慌
Somebody turn her off. I think I'm having a seizure.
可怜孩子
Oh, buddy.
还好还以为会看不到莉莉登场呢
Oh, good. I thought that we were going to miss Lily.
海船都能看到她这座灯塔你们去哪儿了
Ships at sea wouldn't miss Lily. Where have you guys been?
我跳进泳池里救那条傻狗
I had to jump in the pool to save the stupid dog...
她爱得深沉
Who she loves.
救了她不代表我爱她
That I didn't let her down doesn't mean that I love her.
"负鼠事件"后我都很少
I barely got Manny back in the pool
让曼尼下水了
after that possum incident.
我以为它溺水了
I thought it drowned,
但结果负鼠只是诈死
but turns out it was just playing possum.
没错宝贝
Yes, papi.
好样的
Good job!
知道今天最失败的是哪部分吗
You know what the worst part of today was?
好难抉择啊
I imagine it's hard to choose.
那就是当一切一点点搞砸时
When everything was melting down,
我终于想到你问题的答案了
I realized I had an answer to your question,
为什么竞选那题
why I was running.
我想要一家子为我骄傲
I wanted to make my family proud,
不想却给家里抹了黑
and I did the exact opposite.
才不是
No.
就是我让你们颜面扫地了