摩登家庭

Modern Family S03E08

Part 2 Dec. 3, 2019, 11:18 a.m.

米奇尔我们的确该放点什么进去
Mitchell, we did have something to add to this box of, um...
爪七或者是爪八
Snicker snackers.
怎么了
What?
英语不是她的母语
English is not her first language.
她也只是想要帮忙
She's just trying to help.
米奇尔得了吧你别这样
Mitchell, come on. You can't do that.
你不能突然改变规矩啊
You can't just change the rules.
我们常干这事的啊
This is what we do.
每当歌♥洛莉亚发出搞笑的口音
When Gloria says something silly,
我们就会在背后取笑她
we innocently laugh behind her back.
她这周过得不顺好吗
She's had a rough week, all right?
她非常担心蒂娅·玛利娅·塞西莉娅的手术
She's really worried about Tia Maria Cecilia and that surgery.
而且她上普拉提课时还把手♥机♥丢了
Oh, and then she lost her cell phone at pilates.
-你怎么知道的 -我们经常一起喝咖啡
- How do you know this? - We have coffee.
经常哈
Oh. Have?
你们什么时候经常私下聚会的
So when did this become, like, a thing?
有问题吗我们是朋友我喜欢她
What's the big deal? We're friends. I like Gloria.
没什么大不了的
Uh, it's no big deal.
我对她毫无意见只不过
I have nothing against her, I just think--oh!
这下可好
Mm. All right.
在你指责我之前我得说那花瓶是我送她的
So before you get all judge-y, I gave her that vase.
那是我先送给你的
After I gave it to you.
你非得穿这件T恤吗
You couldn't part with that t-shirt?
我喜欢
I love this shirt.
你不必非得打扮成现在这样
You know, you don't have to look the way you look.
安波儿·兰德的衣服都被火灾烧没了
Amber Rand lost all her clothes in a fire,
可她得到了改头换面的机会
but she gets to build herself a new wardrobe.
让我把你的衣服也烧了吧
Let me burn your clothes.
孩子们快下来还有一堆活要干呢
Girls, get down here. There's a lot of work to do.
-她要发飙了 -接下来怎么办你懂吧
- Ugh. She's in a mood. - You know what we have to do, right?
-你不配当我的亲姐姐 -我讨厌你
- There's no way you're my real sister! - I hate you!
-难以置信你居然 -你个自私鬼
- I can't believe you would ever-- -You're the most selfish--
到此为止我受不了了
Okay, that's it! I cannot take the fighting!
哪儿凉快上哪儿待着去
Just get out of the house.
这招屡试不爽
Works every time.
知道吗我还不想开卡车呢
You know, I don't even wanna drive the truck anymore
虽然在农场那会儿
Even though on the farm I was--
别再提农场的事了
I can't take another farm story.
-万岁 -你得找个人和你一起
- Yay! - You might wanna take someone with you.
那车停在那儿都半年了
The thing's been parked there six months.
你需要洗洗车打扫一下蜘蛛网
You're gonna want to hose it down, sweep for spiders.
好消息姑娘们跟小卡舅夫一起去
Good news, girls. You're going with Uncle Cam.
真棒
Yay!
我肯寻求菲尔的帮助一定是疼得忍♥无可忍♥了
The pain must have been pretty bad if I was asking Phil for help.
他使尽浑身解数想得到我的肯定
His need for my approval is exhausting.
十年来我就麻烦他干过一件事
In ten years, I've asked him for one thing--
接通我的无线打印机
To hook up my wireless printer.
结果他一直念叨这事
He still won't shut up about it.
打印机运作还正常吧
How's that printer working out for you?
还爱用那打印机是吗
Still loving that printer, eh?
如果你的打印机坏了
You know, if your printer breaks from here,
-我能用电♥话♥远程修好它 -真的吗
- I can fix it on my phone. - Can you?
当然不过没这必要
I can, but I don't need to,
因为我已经把它修得完美无瑕了
Because I fixed it forever.
哪怕一次也好我真希望
Just once, I wish he wouldn't make
他不要这么小题大做
such a big deal about everything.
来吧
Okay.
现在请宽衣解带拿毛巾盖住屁♥股♥
Now just disrobe and place the towel over your buttocks.
开着大卡车
Riding the open road
在路上飞驰
in a big rig like this
还真能激发男性那惊人的食欲啊
sure can work up a man's powerful appetite.
我们刚开出五个街区远
We've gone five blocks.
-你到底吃不吃汉堡 -我倒是没意见
- Do you want a burger or not? - I could eat.
艾丽克斯
Hey, Alex,
也许等会小卡舅夫能把他的帽子借你
maybe Uncle Cam will let you borrow his hat later.
毕竟你已经是一副纯爷们的打扮
You know, since you dress like a dude.
我就喜欢这样
I like the way I dress.
小卡舅夫作为她未来的舞会男伴
Uncle Cam, as her future prom date,
你能跟她谈谈吗你最懂时尚了
will you please talk to her? You know fashion.
首先你们俩各有自身的美丽之处
First of all, you're each beautiful in your own way,
但你们都得排第二位
but you're both playing for second,
因为开着卡车的我才最性感
because I'm too sexy for... this truck.
不得不承认你开得出人意料的好
I have to say, you do drive it surprisingly well.
没错谁能想到呢
Yeah, who would have thought?
出人意料?
Surprising?
基佬开卡车就很出人意料吗
What, that--that a gay man can drive a truck?
如果是杰那代人的想法我还能理解
You know, I expect that kind of thinking from Jay's generation.
但是连90后也这么想吗
But from our future generation?
无法接受
No.
这里实在是挤爆了
Wow. This place got crowded.
你真是"卡"在中间了
Whoa. You're really wedged in there.
需要我们给你导向吗
You want us to help guide you out?
如此一问
That question--
[仇恨犯罪是因为犯罪者的偏见而进行的犯罪]
充满仇恨犯罪的意味
It was like a hate crime.
抱歉
Sorry!
你靠这边太近了
Hey, you're really close on this side.
我知道
Yeah, I see it.
-小心 -我已经够小心的了
- Careful! - I'm being careful.
犯得着大喘气吗
Gasping? Really?
至于把手握那么紧吗又不是要俯冲
Holding hands? We're not in a nosedive.
好吧我服了
Okay, you know what,
如果你们乐意那就下车给我导向吧
if it would make you feel better, get out and guide me.
来吧快点
Okay, come on. Let's go.
请别对我大喊大叫可这车门打不开
Please don't yell at me, but there's not enough room.
好吧从我这爬下去
Okay, climb over.
你没事的
You're fine.
知道吗土著人坚信烧鼠尾草的香气
You know, the native Americans believe that burning sage
能让负面能量消散
kept bad energy away.
想想他们可悲的下场吧
How'd that work out for 'em?
快来帮我按背吧
Get to the back.
这就对了
That's the spirit.
多谢你了
Thank you.
我得确认下这油已达到37度了[体温]
I just need to make sure that the oil is a perfect 98.6.
没错完美无瑕
And it is perfect.
现在你先深呼吸
Now I want you to take a deep breath
让我引领你到达一个
and let me transport you to a land
名为放松圣域的地方
I call relaxistan.
怎么回事滚下来
Oh, what the hell? Get off me.
我就知道这肯定糟...
I knew this was a terrible...
妈妈咪呀爽死了
Oh, Mama Lucian, that's good.
想玩玩吗
So you wanna try it?
我也说不好我还是觉得很内疚
I don't know. I'm still feeling guilty.
那本来是罗本的直升飞机
It's Reuben's helicopter.
就因为是他我们才更该玩
Reuben is the whole reason we should be doing this.
他就是《世事难料》中那活生生的例子
He's barely living proof that life can change in a second.
人生得意须尽欢今朝有酒今朝醉
You gotta grab what you can when you can.
你究竟是对我施了什么魔法
What is this hold you have on me?
真棒
Wow.
很好现在减速
Okay, now ease up.
我在减速不管用啊
Okay, I'm easing up. Okay, it's not working.
曼尼快控制住它要飞走了
Get ahold of yourself, Manny! She's getting away!
-我控制不住了 -给我
- I can't--I... I can't hold her! - Give it to me!
紧急求救紧急求救
Mayday! Mayday!
算了算了
Oh, well.
你什么意思我妈会宰了咱俩的
What do you mean "Oh, well"? My mom's gonna kill us.
跟我有什么关系是你在玩
Us? You were flying it.
我可是在阁楼整理箱子
I was in the attic packing boxes.
你得帮我把它找回来
You're gonna help me find it,
不然我就让你人间蒸发
or the next search will be for you.
我喜欢你这态度平时你怎么不这样