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Modern Family S03E16

Part 3 Dec. 3, 2019, 11:50 a.m.

我得回家躺着了你能理解我对吧
I need to get home and lie down. You understand, right?
-当然理解 -好的
- Of course. - Okay.
走吧
You go!
你就满嘴谎话吧
And lie.
你好了
You're better!
稍有起色稍有
Barely. Barely, yeah.
我刚刚只是想拿点凉东西敷背
I was just getting something cold for my back.
拿肉汁敷
Gravy?
如果它能拯救你♥妈♥的♥火鸡
Well, if it can save your mom's turkey,
它就能治好所有东西
it can save anything.
你们不是要去见你朋友米兰达吗
I thought you were going to see your friend Miranda.
这货胆怯了
This one chickened out.
亏他还说自己非常喜欢女生
For someone who says he likes girls so much,
怕女生还差不多
he sure is afraid of them.
那可是要跟她跳舞啊卢克
It's a dance, Luke.
懦夫舞吧
Chicken dance.
既然你们都回来了
Well, since you're back,
如果我给你们二十块钱
what if I give you 20 bucks,
你们俩
and you guys...
给我把车洗了怎么样
go wash my car?
是每人二十还是总共二十
Is that 20 bucks for each of us, or both of us?
总共二十
Both.
我就知道他没那么大方
That's what I thought.
[一杆进洞名人榜]
瞧瞧啊
Uh-oh, check it out.
"高手"又在盯着光荣榜呢
Ace is drooling over his plaque again.
抱歉我还真没闻见你们几个二货进来
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't smell you idiots come in.
听着我一直在想
Listen, I've been thinking,
或许还是别叫我"高手"了吧
maybe it's time we retire the name "Ace."
你是说你印在高尔夫球帽上的字吗
You mean the name you had printed on your golf cap?
-还有浴袍上 -其实关于那个
- And his robe. - You know, guys, about that--
还记得我把他那帽子扯下来戴我头上
Remember how mad he got when I yanked that cap off his head
他怎么发飙的吗
and put it on?
你得自己赢取一顶光荣帽
You got to earn that!
是是是我只是很庆幸
Yeah, yeah, well, I'm just glad
你那便宜的植发没卡进我帽子里
one of those cheap hair plugs didn't get caught in it.
说过多少次了那不是植发
Hey, for the millionth time, they're not plugs.
那是啥你头发在你五十岁时又回来了
So what, your hair just came back when you turned 50?
反正你老婆是没回来
Unlike your wife.
拜托她不回来才好呢
Hey, that was a blessing.
否则我今晚还约不了娜塔莉·霍布斯呢
Otherwise, I wouldn't be taking out Natalie Hobbes tonight.
出去吃饭还是帮人报税啊
Taking her out or doing her taxes?
我正想怎么澄清我那
So I'm trying to find a way to come clean
一杆进洞的囧事时我突然间想
about the hole-in-one, when it occurs to me...
澄清毛啊
Why?
一个二货对他的性生活鬼话连篇
One idiot lies about his sex life,
另一个傻缺的法拉利都"在保养"N年了
the other dumbbell has a ferrari "In the shop" for years,
而三号♥二货是个好莱坞特技车手
and moron number three is a hollywood stunt car driver
而他却在倒高尔夫车时受伤了
who gets sick when he rides backwards in the golf cart.
那女士们准备好开球还是干嘛啊
So you ladies ready to tee off or what?
-我们付清酒钱就行动 -我付了
- Yeah, just gotta settle up our tab. - I took care of it.
你说你去洗手间的
You said you were going to the restroom.
这家伙真是没一句真话
Ah! Can't trust a word out of this guy's mouth.
都骗了我们二十年了
20 years we've been falling for this.
我我抱歉打扰一下
I-I'm sorry to interrupt,
-但是我老爸从没骗过你们 -米奇尔
- but my dad never lied to you guys. - Mitchell...
直到今天他才知道
No, he didn't even know until today
-他从没打出一杆进洞 -这下可好
- that he never made the hole-in-one. - Okay.
但是事实上他知道真♥相♥后
But the fact that he couldn't live with himself
他受不了良心的责备
when he found out,
马不停蹄地过来向你们坦白
and he raced down here to confess to you,
这就足以说明他是个真男人
that just shows the kind of man he is.
他是个一杆进洞型的男人
He is a hole-in-one kind of man.
你从没打出一杆进洞
You never got a hole-in-one?
我还没坦白呢
I didn't tell them.
这么说这就是你的兄弟帮哈
So this is the gang.
介绍介绍呗
Introduce me.
中奖了
Ahh. Score!
我和米兰达好像不是天生一对
It's not like me and Miranda are perfectly suited.
首先她喜欢古惑仔类型
For one thing, she likes bad boys.
我又不是
That's just not me.
我要开音乐了
I'm gonna turn on some music.
抱歉
I'm sorry.
对女人温柔的本事我又甩不掉
I can't unlearn how to treat a lady.
最后又会怎么样呢
But where does that leave me?
等到了四十岁她第一次离婚后
Waiting till I'm 40 when she looks me up on facebook
在Fackbook上找我吗
after a failed first marriage?
好啦
Okay.
你在干什么
What are you doing?
我受够你对米兰达那些怨念了
I'm sick of hearing you whine about Miranda!
-现在去让她注意你 -但我们没办法
- It's time to make her notice you! - But we can't!
我们有一整箱汽油她就住在街角
We got a full tank of gas, and she's right down the block.
系上安全带
Now buckle up!
-你疯了吗 -你说呢
- Are you crazy? - You tell me.
莉莉这是什么
Lily, what is this?
化学仪器玩具套装不是更好吗
Wouldn't you rather have a chemistry set,
或是看图识字卡
or some flash cards?
她很漂亮
She's pretty.
不她脏了
No, she's dirty.
来把灰擦一擦
Look. Get the dirt.
我来把她擦干净
So let me wipe her off.
搞定
Fix that.
你的辫子松了过来这儿
Your braid's coming loose. Come here.
立马搞定
Fix that right up.
我做了检查
So I completed the examination.
她情况还不错
She did really well.
诊断结果呢
What's the prognosis?
我们能大致修复手臂
We can fix most of her arm,
但她的肩关节无法完全恢复灵活度
but she'll never regain full mobility in her shoulder joint,
因为工厂不再生产那种零件了
because they don't make that part anymore.
挺不错的了是吧
Well, that's pretty good, right?
至少看上去还是一样
I mean, she'll look exactly the same.
没人会知道
No one will know.
我知道
I'll know.
我只是喜欢她以前的模样
I'm just saying I liked her the way she was.
多可爱的甜心娃娃
She was such a sweet little doll.
对不起医生
I'm sorry, doctor.
我有点适应问题
I'm having trouble adjusting to all this.
爸她还是那个可爱的甜心娃娃
Uh, dad, she's still a sweet little doll.
不她已经"破"了
No, she's broken.
不她只是改变了一点
No, she's just changed a little.
生活就是这样娃娃会长大的
It happens. Dolls grow up.
事实上
Well, actually--
-劳驾 -当然
- Uh, could you... - Yeah. Sure.
我正要去
I actually have to go
将噩耗告诉一个小女孩
give a little girl some pretty bad news.
海莉
So, Haley...
我想说的是...
The thing is...
其实海莉已经快18了
Fact--Haley's almost 18.
其实我是个酷老爸
Fact--I am the cool dad.
海莉我理解性是生活的一部分
Haley, I understand that sex is a part of life.
虽然听到这个消息我并不开心
I can't say that I'm thrilled to hear this,
但我肯定你有注意"安全" 只要你乐意
but I'm sure you're being safe, and I hope that you'll feel free
随时都可以跟我谈论这个问题
to talk to me about this anytime.
我们应该
We should...
我们应该为碧翠丝打上
We should probably get Beatrice, like,
石膏什么的
a-a cast or something,
这样大家可以尽情涂鸦了
and we can all sign it. Yeah?
当然当然
Uh, yeah. Sure.
其实我说砸了
Fact--I blew it.
修复工作可能还要一阵