摩登家庭
Modern Family S03E13
Part 3
Dec. 3, 2019, 11:50 a.m.
你怎么这么聪明
How did you get so smart?
可能我是领养的 或是在医院抱错了
I've always assumed adoption or baby switch.
注意 不能亲吻
Hey. Hey. No kisses!
强势不屈 舍我其谁
Proud and powerful.
-抱歉 -也不能道歉
- Sorry. - And no apologizing.
对 闭嘴 赶紧进去
Yes! Shut up and get in there!
这就对了
That's more like it!
对
Yeah!
天哪
Oh, god.
她来了
There she is.
-搞定他们 克莱尔 -多谢支持
- Go get 'em, Claire. -Thanks.
别担心 我们会给你助威的
Don't worry. We're going to cheer for you
不管你说了什么
no matter what you say.
真好 来自亲爱家人的更多支持
Oh, good. More support from my loving family.
喇叭警告 讽刺
Honk. Sarcasm.
你怎么把斯黛拉带来了
Why'd you bring Stella?
她总是往屋外跑 然后往泳池里跳
She keeps getting out and jumping in the pool.
我们可不能冒险把她留在家里 她不会游泳
We don't wanna take any chances because she can't swim.
那她为啥还老往泳池里跳
Then why does she keep jumping in the pool?
我一直在想这个问题 我有个想法
I've been thinking about it. I got a theory.
她可能有自杀倾向
She might be suicidal.
什么 这也太疯狂了吧
What? That's crazy.
这世上就没什么狗狗自杀一说
There's not such thing as doggy suicide.
你好 我是杜恩·贝利
Hi. Duane Bailey.
抱歉 我无意中听到你们谈话
Sorry. I couldn't help but overhear.
我除了是人♥民♥公仆之外
In addition to being a public servant,
还是一名获奖哈巴小猎犬饲养者
I'm also an award-winning breeder of puggles.
我赢过最佳猎犬奖 两次哟
I've won the Puggly. Twice.
我恐怕狗狗自杀是
And I'm afraid that doggy suicide
确有其事的
is all too real.
只不过主流媒体不报道罢了
It's just the mainstream media doesn't report on it,
因为不像猫艾滋那么火爆
'cause it's not as sexy as feline A.I.D.S.
斯黛拉没有自杀倾向 她就是比较脑残
Stella is not suicidal. She's just... estupid.
那 或许就是您的问题了
Well, that might be part of your problem.
她能感觉到你不喜欢她
She senses you don't like her.
你根本想不到
You have no idea.
从这个小天使踏进我们家门起
This one's been against this little angel
这位就没消停过
from the very beginning.
没错 狗狗会注意到的
Yeah, well, dogs pick up on that.
他们很敏感的
You know, they're very sensitive.
我喜欢叫他们
I like to call them, um...
填不满的情感无底洞
Bottomless pits of need.
但不能当他们的面说
But not to their face, though.
那样太伤他们感情了
That would just destroy them.
不是说你哟
Not you.
那这么说是我的错啦
So now this is my fault?
我想他知道自己在说什么
I think he knows what he's talking about.
人家可是赢过一个最佳猎犬奖的
The man won a puggly.
-两个 我赢过两个 -我们说完了
- Two. I won two pugglies. - We're done here.
-在2000年和 -是是
- In 2000- - Yeah.
你知道是哪个台播吗
Do you have any idea what station this is on?
我上网查查[上网看]
Here, I'll look online.
是网络广播 你早点说我就不用
It's a webcast? That would have been helpful to know
摁过九百个频道了
900 channels ago.
不是 那是个公共频道之类的
No, it's on public access or something.
我要看克莱尔姑妈
I wanna watch aunt claire!
行 但是首先 宝贝 我们得谈谈
Okay. Well, first, honey, we need to talk about something.
关于你早上说的那个词
It's about that word you said this morning.
什么词
What word?
你知道 就是那个以F开头的那个词
You know, the one that starts with "F"?
-花花 -不是
- "Flower"? - No.
-果果 -不是
- "Fruit"? - No.
如果她记不起来了 我们干嘛要提醒她
If she doesn't remember it, we shouldn't remind her.
因为她说了三遍呢
Oh, well, she said it three times.
哦 你是说
Oh, you mean.
小卡 出去
Cam, leave the room!
不用 我能忍♥住
No. I can do this.
莉莉 那是个不好的词
Lily, that is a bad word,
而且你永远也不能再说这个词
and you are not allowed to say it ever.
但能把你逗笑呀
But it makes you laugh.
其实爸爸不应该笑的
Okay, well, daddy shouldn't be laughing,
你也永远不应该说那个词
and you should never say that word.
明白没
Do you understand?
或许吧
Maybe.
好吧 这可不是什么游戏 好吗
Okay. This is not a game, all right?
如果你再说一遍那个词
If you say that word one more time,
我就把你的玩具都没收
I'm gonna take away all your toys!
我认真的 她知道我不是认真的
I'm serious! She knows I'm not serious.
那婚礼怎么办
What about the wedding?
如果她在那说怎么办
What if she says it there?
她就像是个定时炸♥弹♥
She's like a ticking time bomb!
-那我们怎么办 取消吗 -没错
-Well, what are we gonna do, cancel? - Yes.
我们就这么说
Maybe we just call and say,
直到同性婚姻合法化 否则
"We're not going to any more weddings
我们不参加任何婚礼
until the gays can get married."
得 咱们改走政♥治♥路线了
Oh, so now we're political?
就因为不喜欢交通太拥挤
We leave town on gay pride weekend
连"同志骄傲"游♥行♥周末我们都会离开
because we don't like the traffic.
但是经验的作用是无可替代的
But there's no substitute for experience.
举例来说 我怀疑我的对手
For example, I doubt my opponent is familiar
是否熟悉镇法26-12b
with town ordinance 26-12b...
26-12b是关于噪声污染的
26-12b has to do with noise pollution--
也就是您 先生 现在正造出的哟
Something, sir, that you are guilty of right now.
她怎么这么牛掰
Oh, no she di'int!
加油 老妈
Go, mom!
女士们先生们
Ladies and gentlemen...
看看她的眼睛
Look at her eyes.
我知道 确实有点斗鸡眼
I know. They're a little too close together.
已经烦了我好多年了
It's been bugging me for years.
不是 她现在状态正佳
No, she's in the zone.
她已经万事俱备了
She's ready for anything.
我是很想谈谈 谈谈问题
I do like to talk... about the issues.
说起问题哈
Speaking of issues,
您先生好像有一些问题
your husband seems to have some.
抱歉
I'm sorry?
我不抱歉 什么
I'm not sorry. What?
其实 我本不愿提起的
Oh, well, I wouldn't want to bring it up,
不过既然你问了
but since you asked, um...
在去年的二月份 您先生
In february of last year, your husband,
菲利普·邓菲 因为猥亵和淫♥荡♥行为
one, uh, Phillip Dunphy, was questioned at a local hotel
在一家本地酒店被质询
for lewd and lascivious conduct.
老天
Oh, jeez.
没这回事
That's not true.
夫人 根据这份警方报告
Ma'am, according to this police report,
他 闯进陌生人的房♥间
he, uh, broke into a stranger's room,
全♥裸♥的
stripped naked...
在床上摆出了暗含性♥欲♥的姿势
and then posed provocatively on the bed.
从理论上来说是这样的
That is technically true,
但是公平来说 那天是情人节
but in all fairness, it was valentine's day.
我太抱歉了 那天是情人节呀
Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry. It was valentine's day.
我不太清楚
I'm not sure, uh,
您先生是不是生在这个国家
if your husband was born in this country.
也许他是非法移♥民♥吧
Perhaps he snuck in illegally,
但是在美国呢 我们在情人节这天
but here in America, we celebrate valentine's day
送人巧克力
with chocolates,
不是送人小鸡鸡
not our private parts.
这是我现在最爱的秀了
This is my new favorite show.
不是的 先生
No, sir,
他那时是在找我 他的妻子
he was looking for me, his wife,
但是他走错了房♥间
and he walked into the wrong room.
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