神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S05E20

Part 3 Oct. 1, 2020, 12:24 p.m.

Sorry. I get crushy when I'm nervous.
抱歉我一紧张就容易很有摧毁欲
If there's anything you want to talk about,
你如果想谈谈的话
my door is always open.
我的大门随时为你敞开
Metaphorically.
这是个比喻
In reality, I often keep my door closed,
实际生活中我总是会关着门
for privacy, security, climate control...
为了隐私考虑为了安全考虑为了控制温度
You know what, I never even should've used a metaphor.
行吧我压根就不应该用比喻
I'm better than that.
我能说的更好
If there's anything you want to talk about,
如果你想谈谈的话任何事都可以
please do so now.
请现在就跟我讲
There is.
行吧
I'm so scared for Rosa.
我特别害怕Rosa出事
And I realized, I haven't looked at
我意识到在Ava出生之后
my life insurance policy since Ava was born.
我都没有看过我的人身保险条款
I'm on hold with them now.
我现在给他们打电♥话♥
Terry needs a bulkier plan!
Terry需要一个更好的保险配置
Look, I get that you're worried about your own mortality.
我知道你很为自己的生命状况担忧
Perhaps this fact will comfort you.
或许这个事实能让你好受点
As an NYPD officer, you're more likely to be
作为纽约警局的警♥察♥ 比起因公殉职
crushed by scaffolding than to die on the job.
被手脚架压死的概率更大一些
Oh, God.
我的天呢
This is a city of scaffolding!
这个城市到处都是手脚架
No, no, Sergeant, I was only trying to point out
不是不是警长我是想跟你表明
that there are millions of potential ways to die.
有几百万种潜在的死因
Do you know how common choking is?
你知道噎死这事儿有多普遍吗
What are you doing, man?
你干啥呢这是
Yeah, so this won't be a problem.
嗯这不算什么
I can pencil you in tomorrow.
我给你排在明天
Oh. Uh, we kind of need you to fix it before our friend gets back today.
呃我们是想能在我们的朋友今天回来之前把它修好
I'm sorry, it's gonna take a while,
抱歉这得花点功夫
and I have other appointments.
我还有别的安排呢
Well, can you cancel them?
那你能取消别的安排吗
I didn't want to do this, but our friend is a cop,
我不想这样的但是我们的朋友是个警♥察♥
and she's caught in a Brooklyn Heights shooting right now.
她现在就在布鲁克林高地那个枪击现场
Oh! So you think
噢所以你觉得
you're the first people that ever needed a toilet fixed
你们是第一个因为亲密的人身陷危险
'cause a loved one's life was in danger.
所以急着需要把马桶修好的人吗
Yes? You're not. Welcome to New York.
是吗不是欢迎来到纽约
That's a grim commentary on the city we live in.
给我们的城市这个评价可是够冷酷无情啊
Refresh. No news. Refresh. No news.
刷新没更新刷新没更新
Why is there no news?
为啥没更新啊
Charles, come on. Compartmentalize, remember?
Charles 振作点自我分隔记得吗
Try and think happy thoughts like the Shrek musical.
试着想点高兴的事儿比如说史莱克音乐剧
Come on, Jake, you know they shut that down.
得了 Jake 你知道这剧停演了
The health board said there was too much mud on the stage!
卫生委员会说舞台上有太多泥巴了
Yeah, probably for the best. All right, that didn't work.
行吧这也算是好结果了这招儿没用
How about this? Let's clean up our desks.
这样吧我们来收拾办公桌
Right? That's always good for a distraction.
如何收拾东西总归是转移注意力的好方法的
Oh, no. Rosa gave me this notepad.
哦不这笔记本是Rosa给我的
I remember I was all, "Anyone got a notepad?"
我记得我当时问 "谁有笔记本吗"
And she said, "Yep, here."
然后她说 "这有给你"
Oh, my God, that's so Rosa. I know.
哦天这非常Rosa了可不是吗
Okay. So, before you can change a policy,
好了在你更改保单之前
I'm gonna have to ask you a few medical questions,
我得问你几个医学问题
check your vitals. Great. Just do it fast.
检查下你的体征很好快点就行
Terry knows tomorrow's not promised. Okay.
Terry知道明天发生什么谁也说不准好的
Then let's start with your blood pressure.
那就先测血压吧
We can skip this part.
可以跳过这步的
I always clock in at 130 over 80.
我总是保持在高压130低压80
Terry's in tiptop.
Terry身体棒棒哒
Shots fired. Shots fired!
发生枪击案发生枪击案
What? Is anybody hurt?
什么有人受伤吗
I don't know. Oh, man.
我不知道哦天
And your BP's at 290. Oh, 350.
你的血压升到290了哦 350
You broke the machine. All right, screw this.
机器爆了好吧管他呢
There were shots fired.
发生了枪击
I just got off the phone. There are two officers down.
我刚接到电♥话♥ 两名警官受伤了
Neither one of them is Diaz.
Diaz不在其中
So what, are we supposed to wait until one is?
那又怎样难道我们要等到她受伤才行动吗
Sir, we have to go up there. We have to help Rosa.
长官我们必须过去我们必须去帮助Rosa
ESU has more than enough manpower,
紧急勤务小组已经有足够人手了
and we have been ordered
而且局长命令我们
to stay in this precinct by the commissioner.
待在这个警区里
So what? He's not a part of our squad. He doesn't care about her.
那又怎样他不是我们队的他不关心她
Look, I know you're concerned about Diaz, as am I.
听着我知道你很担心Diaz 我也很担心
Nevertheless, I am ordering you to stay in this precinct.
但是我命令你待在这个警区里
Fine.
好吧
I understand that's your order.
我明白这是你的命令
What'd he say? Doesn't matter.
他怎么说那不重要
I'm gonna go help Rosa.
我要去帮Rosa
Okay, I'm going up to the scene of the shooting,
好了我要去枪击现场
and I need your help.
我需要你们的帮助
I can't sign tactical gear out of the armory without Holt's approval.
没有Holt的同意我没有办法从军械库里领出装备
That's our mission objective.
那是我们的任务目标
First things first. Let's synchronize our watches.
首先第一件事我们先对下手表
These don't work. They're just status symbols.
这支坏了这支只是身份象征
Okay, we'll use our phones, which are connected to the internet.
好吧那就用联网的手♥机♥
I don't get the internet with my Netscape Blip.
我是网景通信公♥司♥的收不到信♥号♥♥
Let's just use the regular clocks.
就用普通的钟吧
3:34, I'll go into the armory
3点34分我去军械库
and hand the officer in charge a list of items.
并递给管理人一张清单
Then, at 3:35, you two will cause a distraction
然后 3点35分你俩制♥造♥点混乱
that draws Holt into the bullpen.
把Holt吸引到中厅办公室里
When Holt's not looking, I'll sneak into the office
当Holt看不到的时候我溜进他的办公室
and answer the phone when the armory calls asking for approval,
去接军械库询问批准的电♥话♥
fooling them with my spot-on Holt impression.
用我对Holt惟妙惟肖的演绎糊弄住他们
'I'm Captain Holt.'
"我是Holt警监"
Yeah, I don't know, something feels off.
嗯不知道感觉不太对
He sounds too white. Here's how you do it.
他学的太白人了应该这么说
No, no, that's okay! Luckily I have a backup plan.
不不没事所幸我们还有备选方案
I got the Holt soundboard app from Gina.
我从Gina那要来了Holt音板软件
I'm. Raymond. Holt.
我是 Raymond Holt
Get. Some. Get. Some.
来点来点
Man, soundboard Holt is so horny.
音板Holt真色情
Anyways, Hitchock and Scully, to distract the captain,
总之 Hitchock和Scully 去吸引警监的注意力
I'm gonna need you to get in a fight.
我需要你们大打一场
Us? The buddies? How would that even work?
我俩吗俩哥们吗这行得通吗
You guys are adorable.
你们真可爱
But we don't have time for this, so figure it out!
但我们没时间了所以你们要想办法
Okay, so that plumber was useless.
好吧管道工没用
But we are two smart and capable people
但我俩聪明又能干
who can definitely figure out how to fix a toilet.
我们一定能修好马桶
Of course we can.
我们当然行
The internet will tell us what to do.
网络会教我们的
She always does. Yes!
她总能做到是的
I'll just search 'Toilet videos.'
我只要搜'马桶视频'就好了
Oh! So much porn!
哦全是黄♥片♥
Probably should've been more specific.
也许要更具体一点
'Person fixing broken toilet.'
'人修理坏马桶'
More porn.
更多黄♥片♥了
How about this?
这个怎么样
'Instructional video from a plumber on how to fix an actual toilet.'
'管道工的指导性视频如何修好一个真正的马桶'
Still porn! How is that still porn?
还是黄♥片♥ 这怎么能还是黄♥片♥呢
Okay, you know what, this isn't rocket science.
这样吧这又不是造火箭
All right? The first thing we gotta do,
好吗我们首先要做的是
shut off the water supply.
关闭给水管道
Did I do that?
是我弄的吗
That's an Urkel reference, from the show 'Family Matters.'
引自Urkel 来自喜剧<凡人琐事>
Do you remember that?
你记得吗
Hey, there. I want to check out some gear.
嘿要领些装备