神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S05E15

Part 1 Oct. 1, 2020, 12:23 p.m.

Santiago, your test results from the sergeant's exam have arrived.
Santiago 你的警长测试结果出来了
Ooh, everybody make room.
大家快让开
Amy needs adequate space to do her signature dork dance.
给Amy留点地方她要跳她代表性的呆瓜之舞了
I don't know if there's going to be a dork dance.
我不知道是不是有机会跳呆瓜之舞
I mean, look how small that envelope is.
我是说那个信封那么小
That's not a big, good news envelope.
不是个大大的装着好消息的信封
That's a little, bad news envelope.
是个小小的装着坏消息的信封
What? That's nuts.
什么胡说八道
Sarge, tell her envelope size doesn't matter.
警官告诉她跟信封大小没关系
If I'm being honest, I got a much bigger envelope.
要是实话实说我的信封要大得多
Oh, God.
天哪
Unhelpful, Terry. Very unhelpful.
这一点也没帮上忙 Terry 一点都没有
Mine was bigger, too.
我的信封也比这个大
Okay. I just won't ever open it.
好吧我不拆开就是了
That way, I'll never get rejected.
这样我就永远不会被拒了
Fine, I'll open it.
行了我来拆开
No!
不行
Do it harder.
再大力一点
I opened it.
我拆了
You passed.
你通过了
Oh, my God.
天哪
I'm going to be a sergeant.
我要当警长了
You're going to be a sergeant!
你要当警长了
Yes!
太棒了
Oh, no, it's happening.
不不这是真的
That's my future wife!
这是我未来的老婆
So...
那么
Amy Santiago, put down that melon,
Amy Santiago 别吃瓜了
for you are about to feast your eyes
你将大饱眼福
on one of the most delicious cases in the NYPD.
来看一个纽约警局最美味的案件
I don't like the personality I've chosen here.
我不大喜欢我扮演的这个角色
I do. You sound like Caesar Flickerman
我喜欢听起来像是Caesar Flickerman
welcoming new "Hunger Games" Tributes to the Quarter Quell.
在欢迎新一批<饥饿游戏>贡品参加世纪极限赛
What's going on, Jake?
怎么了 Jake
In one week, you will officially become a sergeant,
一星期以后你就正式成为警长了
which means this case will be the last one we ever work together as detectives,
那这就是我们作为警探一起做的最后一个案子了
so it has to be perfect.
所以一切都要做到完美
I present to you a serial arson case.
我向你介绍一宗连环纵火案
And the fires seem to be connected to the Saturday crossword puzzle.
这几起火灾似乎和周六的填字游戏有关系
Mama like.
妈妈喜欢
Two different buildings, two consecutive Saturdays,
不同的两栋楼连着的两个周六
and a puzzle left at each crime scene,
两处犯罪现场都留有一个字谜
and a note was sent to the puzzle's author,
罪犯还寄了一封信给字谜的作者
Mr. Melvin Stermley.
Melvin Stermley先生
Melvin Stermley?
Melvin Stermley
He's the best in the game!
他是字谜游戏界里最棒的了
He made a puzzle once
他有次出了个字谜
where all the answers were just the word "Puzzle" in different languages.
所有的答案都是"字谜"这个词在不同语言里的写法
In Estonian, it was moistatus.
爱沙尼亚语里 "字谜"是"moistatus"
Yeah, well, your moistatus is about to be hecka moist...
好吧你的"moistatus"将会变得很潮湿
don't call HR, we are getting married...
别去找人事部投诉我们是要结婚的人
because Melvin Stermley is coming in to help us with the case!
因为Melvin Stermley要过来帮助我们破案
Sha-wing!
好极了
Hey, I was going through your calendar for some reason.
我不知道为什么翻了翻你的日程表
It's your job.
你就是干这个的啊
Right.
好吧
Anyhoobs, I wanted to remind you about the commissioner candidate meet and greet,
总之我想提醒你你要参加局长候选人见面会
and your presentation to the selection committee.
你还要向选拔委员会做个演讲
Being that I am your campaign manager...
由于我是你的竞选经理
You are not.
你不是
I did a little sleuthing on your rivals.
我对你的竞争对手做了一点小小的调查
You want me to spill the beans?
你想让我透露透露吗(撒豆子)
Why would you ever intentionally spill beans?
你为什么要故意去撒豆子呢
They're one of nature's most densely packed protein sources,
豆子是大自然里蛋白质最丰富的食物之一
and they remain unsullied by flavor.
而且无论加什么都不会改变它们的味道
Okay, forget it, I'll just mosey on out.
好吧忘了这茬事我马上就走
Fine, fine, tell me everything.
好了好了都告诉我吧
All right, have a seat. It's Gina time.
好吧坐好了 Gina时间到了
Say hello to your compe-tish.
迎接你的竞争对手吧
Bryan McCann, John Kelly, and John Kelly.
Bryan McCann和John Kelly以及John Kelly
Yes, that's right, there are two John Kellys.
对对有两个John Kelly
How are these not the same man?
这三竟然不是同一个人
You should see their wives. Or should I say, wife.
你得看看他们的老婆们或者应该是老婆
Good God, do you know what their speeches are about?
老天啊你知道他们的发言内容吗
I do.
知道
"Staying the course."
"保持现状"
"Maintaining the course."
"维持现状"
And "Blazing a path to a new future."
和"开辟新道路迎接新未来"
I'm kidding, it's "Remaining on the course."
开玩笑其实是"维系现状"
Unbelievable, none of these men have any interest in advancing the NYPD.
难以置信这里面没人想让纽约警局更进一步
That's right, because they're dinosaurs.
对啊因为他们都是恐龙
But do you know what kills dinosaurs?
但是你知道什么能杀死恐龙吗
Asteroids?
小行星
No. You-steroids.
不你行星
You are going to kill these dinosaurs.
你将会干掉这些恐龙
Hey, hey dum-dum. What are you thinking?
喂喂小呆呆你在想些什么
Introducing Amy to her celebrity crush?
把Amy介绍给她迷恋的偶像
Are you insane?
你脑子进水了吗
Relax, Charles.
放轻松 Charles
It's not a crush,
她没有迷恋他
it's her nerdy crossword puzzling hero.
那只是个她崇拜的会做填字游戏的书呆子
I mean, the guy's got to be a massive dork.
我是说这家伙得是个大傻子
His name is Melvin Stermley, for God's sake.
他叫Melvin Stermley 我的天啊
Jake, he's here. Come meet Melvin.
Jake 他来了过来和Melvin打个招呼吧
Hey, you can call me Vin.
你好你可以叫我Vin
But, where is nerd?
等等说好的书呆子呢
Whoa, is this a new detective car?
哇这难道是辆新的警车
It sure is.
当然了
I put in the paperwork 18 months ago, and got lucky.
我在18个月前交的申请撞上了好运
They fast tracked it!
他们提前把它送到了
Say hello to the Nine-Nine's brand new, fully loaded,
快来会会这99分局全新的加满油的
sweet-as-hell crime-crusher on wheels!
无比可爱的带轮子的犯罪终结者吧
Holy crap, it has a heads-up display with built-in license plate reader.
我去它有平视显示器还装了内置车牌读取器
Who cares. It's got two burrito holders.
这有什么它有两个放墨西哥卷饼的夹子啊
Those are cup holders, Scully.
那是用来放杯子的 Scully
Oh yeah? Then what am I supposed to use my thighs for, genius?
是吗那我要我的大腿缝来干嘛呢小天才
Wait, who are you assigning this car to, Sarge?
等等你打算把这车分配给谁警官
Um, I was actually thinking I'd get this one.
我其实想自己开来着
Seriously? You suck.
讲真吗真差劲
Whoa, the heater in my detective car hasn't worked in two years.
我警车里的取暖器都坏了两年了
I don't have enough body fat to keep warm.
光靠我的脂肪不够保暖啊
Terry's sick of shivering.
Terry不想再冻得直抖了
Okay, just seems a little selfish to keep it for yourself
好吧只是把车留给自己显得有些自私
when your detectives, who you took an oath to protect,
当你宣过誓要保护的警探们
are stuck driving their crappy old cars.
个个都开着破铜烂铁
Mine's the oldest.
我的车最破了好吗
I've never felt so abandoned.
我从没有过这么强烈的被抛弃的感觉
And I was actually abandoned. They found me in a swamp.
我确实被抛弃过我是在一个沼泽里被发现的
Fine. We'll do a drawing for it.
好吧我们抽签决定谁来开
But until then, no one touches it.
但这之前谁都别碰它
Oops, too late.
哎哟你说晚了
I left a ranch handprint on the windshield.
我在挡风玻璃上按了一个牧场酱手印
Okay, so here are your puzzles from the days the arsonist set the fires.
好了这是纵火犯放火那天你出的字谜
This is really good, Amy, thanks.
做得真好 Amy 谢谢
Hey, so Vin, just curious.
嗨 Vin 只是好奇问问
Would you say you have the typical physique of a puzzle maker, or?
字谜作者都是你这种身材吗还是
Well, each puzzle only pays a couple hundred bucks,
出一个字谜也就能拿几百美元
so I mostly make my money modeling. Primarily swimwear.
所以我主要靠做模特挣钱基本是泳装模特
Yeah, I hear that, I could do that too,
我知道了我也能做模特
but I make pretty good money here, so I don't really need to.
但我在这赚得挺多的所以我不用