神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S05E07

Part 2 Oct. 1, 2020, 12:21 p.m.

Squad, bullpen, now.
小队全员办公间集中马上
Is everything okay, sir? No, it is not.
一切还好吗长官不不好
I went to a meeting and when I returned,
我刚刚去开会我回来之后发现
my pie was gone. Which one of you took it?
我的派不见了你们当中谁拿了
Calm down, there's no need to point fingers.
冷静没有必要指指戳戳
At us. It was clearly Hitchcock and Scully.
朝我们显然是Hitchcock和Scully干的
How dare you. You have no proof.
大胆你又没证据
There's crumbs all over your desks.
你们桌上布满碎屑
Well, these aren't pie crumbs.
这些不是派的碎屑
Bread, cookie, pizza, sandwich, blintz,
面包饼干披萨三明治薄饼
and one good old fashioned potato chip.
以及一片美味的传统薯片
No pie here. I just humiliated you.
就是没有派我刚刚羞辱了你
Look, this doesn't have to be a big deal.
好吧没必要把这件事闹大
Whoever took that pie, come forward and...
不管谁拿了派站出来
all will be forgiven.
都会得到原谅
Smart. You knew I would never forgive you.
聪明你知道我永远不会原谅你
But you're dumb if you think I won't get to the bottom of this.
但如果你认为我不会追究到底就太愚蠢了
Everyone here is a suspect.
在场的所有人都有犯罪嫌疑
Okay, not off to a great start.
开局不太好
My mom brought a passive-aggressive turkey
我妈带了一只具有消极攻击性的火鸡
and we all saw your dad's penis through his undies.
我们还都透过你♥爸♥的内内看见了他的鸡♥巴♥
What? You did? Why were you looking?
什么你看见了你为什么看
No, I wasn't. It all happened so fast.
我我没一切都发生得太快了
Hey, everyone, I'm sorry for not being "Dressed".
嘿大伙儿我很抱歉之前没有"穿戴"好
I didn't think you guys were gonna be so early.
我没想到你们会这么早到
We arrived at the agreed upon time.
我们是按照约定好的时间到的
Right. So, like, super early.
对就是特别早
Convo grease. Convo grease them right now.
谈话润滑现在快去润滑一下他们的谈话
Yes. Mrs. Peralta,
好的 Peralta太太
I love this new ceramic that you painted.
我超爱你绘制的这个新的瓷器
You know, my mom paints as well.
你知道吗我妈也绘画的
Really? Yes.
是吗是的
I paint on canvases though. Oh.
不过我是在画布上作画哦
And that's different?
那不一样吗
Very. Completely.
很不一样完全不同
I just always found canvas to be too restricting.
我只是感觉画布过于约束了
For me with bowls and vases and furniture,
对我而言可以在饭碗花瓶和家具上作画
the world is my canvas.
整个世界都是我的画布
Yes, and for me, with canvas,
确实而我呢在画布上作画
the canvas is my canvas.
画布就是画布
She said "Canvas" So much. Who wants to hear a joke?
她说了太多次"画布"了谁想听个笑话
Do you mean like a riddle? 'Cause I love riddles.
你是说谜语吗我超爱谜语的
No, I mean like a joke joke, where I say it and you laugh.
不是我是说狭义的笑话我一讲你就笑的那种
No, then I'm not interested.
那不了我没什么兴趣
Oh. Well... golf.
噢那谈高尔夫球吧
Yes, golf. Anyone hit the links lately?
没错谈谈高尔夫球吧最近有谁去打了高尔夫球了吗
I don't play golf. What are you talking about?
我不打高尔夫怎么会呢
You played it all the time when I was a kid.
在我小时候你经常去打高尔夫呀
Never played golf in my life.
我这辈子从没打过高尔夫
Jake, you are remembering when he used to pretend to golf
Jake 你记得的是他以前装作去打高尔夫
so that he could spend his Sundays cheating on me.
实际上他是在星期天背着我出去乱搞
Ah. Oh, yeah.
啊噢没错
Oops. But it's okay now.
这下糟了但是没关系啦
We're happy, we're back together... We're cool
我们现在又开心地在一起了我们挺好的
And, you know, all relationships have rough patches.
你们知道的任何感情都会有些艰难的时期嘛
Right, Camila? No.
对吧 Camila 并不是
Jake. Hair.
Jake 谈头发吧
We all have hair.
我们都有头发
Mm.
是呀
Okay, this is bad.
这情况太糟糕了
None of the convo grease worked.
我们的谈话顺滑油没一个有用
We need a new plan.
我们需要一个新计划
There's gotta be some way to make them get along.
肯定有什么办法能让他们好好相处
Maybe we could play a game.
要不我们玩个游戏吧
No. No games. My dad gets super competitive.
不行不能玩游戏我爸玩起游戏来特别争强好胜
He used to flip out on me when I beat him at Adult Clue.
以前我玩成人版<妙探寻凶>赢了他他对我大发脾气
It was the only board game he had at his condo.
那是他公♥寓♥里唯一的桌游
All the murder weapons were sex toys.
里面提到的所有杀人武器都是情趣玩具
Oh, okay. You know what?
噢好吧你知道吗
Actually, my dad is super competitive too.
其实我爸爸也是超级争强好胜的
It's bad. He got kicked off a bird watching tour once.
可严重了他以前在一次观鸟活动中被轰出去了
Look a kingfisher. No, no, no, no, no.
看那是一只翠鸟不不不
That's the same bird I saw earlier.
那只鸟是我之前就看到了的
That doesn't count.
所以那不作数
Yikes. All right, so it's agreed.
妈呀好了我们都同意
We steer clear of all competition.
我们要避开一切竞争
Why can't there be some magic potion
为什么没有魔法药水
that makes everyone happy and have fun all the time?
可以让每个人都一直开开心心呢
Who wants some alcohol?
谁要喝点酒呀
Thank you very much, David.
David 非常感谢你
That'll be all.
这样就可以了
There are no prints on the box, no DNA evidence,
盒子上没有留下指纹没有DNA证据
and the security camera in my office was obscured,
我办公室的摄像头也被遮住了
which means whoever took my pie
这表明偷我的馅饼的那个人
thought it through.
把这些问题考虑得很周到
And that means...
那么这就意味着
It wasn't Hitchcock and Scully.
可以排除Hitchcock和Scully了
Exactly.
没错
Now, as for you three,
现在就剩你们三个人了
I think it's time we had a little chat.
我得和你们聊几句
How long you been planning this?
你计划偷我的馅饼多长时间了
A day? A week? A year?
一天吗一周吗还是一年
Or is this the only reason you joined the force to begin with?
或者说其实这就是你来这儿当警探的原因
So you think I became a cop just so I can steal your pie?
你的意思是说我来当警♥察♥就是为了偷你一个馅饼吗
Your words not mine.
你自己说的我没这样说
No, don't tell me why you did it.
不别给我说你为什么偷了那个馅饼
Tell him.
对他说
You want me to talk to this picture of your husband?
你想让我对着你丈夫的照片说话吗
Look him in the eye and tell him what you did.
看着他的眼睛告诉他为什么你要这样做
I didn't do it, Kevin. Don't you say his name.
Kevin 不是我偷的不准叫他的名字
No, Terry, I'm not mad at you.
Terry 我没有生你的气
I know you didn't mean to do it.
我知道你不是故意偷我的馅饼的
You just got hungry,
你只是饿了
and that's the most natural thing in the world.
这是最自然不过的事情了
I didn't take your pie. You're lying!
我没偷你的馅饼你在说谎
If you're so innocent,
如果你真的是清白的
where were you when the pie went missing?
我的馅饼被偷的时候你在哪里呢
I was at the grocery store buying goose feet for Nikolaj's dinner.
我在杂货店为Nikolaj的晚餐买♥♥鹅掌
I was getting the oil changed in my bike.
我在给我的摩托车换机油
Preparing for my solo Thanksgiving ride.
为我感恩节的独自骑行做准备
I was at the gym.
我在健身房♥
Ava's birthday/Thanksgiving dinner's a high-caloric affair.
Ava的生日兼感恩节晚餐的卡路里可高了
Terry needs to earn that feast.
Terry为了享受大餐需要去健身
Everybody has an alibi. How convenient.
每个人都有不在场证据真是方便啊
So I hope you're comfortable
那么我希望你们不要觉得不爽
because I will keep you in here all day if necessary!
因为如果有需要我会让你们一整天都待在这儿
We need the room to question someone
我们需要一个审讯室来审问
about the Red Hook homicide.
一个和雷德胡克杀人案有关的人
Oh, no problem. We'll be right out.
噢没问题我们马上出去
Okay, we are one glass in.
好的我们已经喝了第一杯酒了
My mom's telling a story about my birth
我妈正在说我出生的故事
and your parents are not recoiling.
你♥爸♥妈也没有拒绝听
Good. Let's keep it going. I think we need to top 'em off.
太好了让我们把好势头保持下去吧我觉得我们需要给他们满上
A-top them off.
给他们满上
Every night I'm told what to do
每天晚上我都被告知该做什么
and every morning I do what I'm told,
每天早上我都按照被告知的去做
but yet I cannot escape your scold.
但是你却还是要骂我
What am I? An alarm clock.
我是谁我是一个闹钟
Oh, I get it. So a riddle is just like a fact
噢我懂了谜语就是把真实的事情
that's told in a really confusing way.
用令人困惑的方式讲出来