神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S05E16

Part 1 Oct. 1, 2020, 12:23 p.m.

Pigeon's still here? Yeah.
鸽子还在那儿嗯
No matter what we do, he just won't leave.
不管我们做什么他就是不走
The problem is you're thinking like detectives.
问题是你在以警探的模式思考
No, I'm definitely not.
不我绝对没有
When you should be thinking like a bird.
但你应该像鸟一样思考
This is Operation: Saving Private Pigeon.
这是拯救大兵鸽子行动
On my mark, I will turn on this fan,
听我口令我会把这个风扇打开
gently startling our bird due east,
轻轻的把鸽子吓到东边去
into the file box canyon,
等它到档案盒大峡谷那
where he will encounter Charles holding two pot lids.
就能看到Charles在拿着两个锅盖等着它
He'll bang them together,
他会用两个锅盖互相撞击
forcing Private Pigeon into the ceiling there
逼迫大兵鸽子从这里飞向天花板
and out of the ceiling there,
再从天花板的这个位置飞出来
where he will be greeted by scary Rosa
飞出来之后就能收到吓死人Rosa
holding a scary picture of an owl.
手持可怕猫头鹰照片的问候
Now he's playing our game.
它现在要遵循我们的游戏规则了
He'll veer left, into an upside down garbage can
它会往左飞向用曲棍球棒支起来的
propped up by a hockey stick
大头朝下的垃圾桶
and connected to a string that Gina is holding.
上面系着一根绳子绳子另一端是Gina
She pulls it, he is trapped,
她一拉绳子鸽子就会被困住
and Terry releases him outside.
然后Terry就能把它放飞自然了
Terry hates birds. Okay, little friend.
Terry讨厌鸟类好了小朋友
Let's get you home to mama.
该回家找你妈妈了
Oh, God. It flew right into the fan!
噢天啊它直直地朝着风扇飞去了
It's everywhere! There's pigeon everywhere!
到处都是啊鸽子弄得到处都是
Hey, Boyle. Hey, Jake.
嘿 Boyle 嘿 Jake
Wait, what? Hey, Jake.
等等你说什么嘿 Jake
Ahh! Bill, what are you doing here?
呃 Bill 你在这干什么
I thought we agreed to meet only once a year
你不是同意我们一年只见一次
for the Halloween Heist.
就只在万圣节盗窃的时候啊
I'm here to deliver your quarterly NutriBoom shipment.
我是来这儿给你送每个季度营养爆弹的货源的
It comes with both the amino acid reducer and extra amino acid,
里面既有氨基酸减少剂又有额外的氨基酸补给
so you get the perfect balance.
这样你就能达到完美平衡了
What? No. I only signed up as a one-time payment bribe.
什么我只不过是想贿赂你才花钱订的
I'm not selling NutriBoom. It's clearly a pyramid scheme.
我是不会卖♥♥营养爆弹的这明显就是个传销组织
First off, it's not a pyramid scheme.
首先这不是传销组织
It's a conical-tiered multi-flow-through
而是圆锥体分层多流向
medical marketing entity.
医学市场推广经营体
And secondly, you signed the contract.
其次你已经签了合同
"Permission to charge my card quarterly for the next 85 years."
"允许你每季度定期从我名下的卡中划钱时间持续85年"
This is written in white ink on white paper.
这是在白纸上用白字儿写的
They do it that way so you can't read it.
这样印就是为了让你看不出来
Well, I did read it and I'm canceling the contract.
是吗我看见了并且我要取消合同
Canceling? If it was that easy to get out,
取消要是这么容易就取消的话
would I be here scamming my closest friends?
我能在这骗我最亲的朋友吗
We're your closest friends?
我们是你最亲的朋友吗
What--whatever, I'm not accepting the shipment.
随便吧我是不会收♥货♥的
Jake, piece of advice: just give up.
Jake 给你点建议放弃吧
It's the Boyle way.
Boyle家的人都是这么干的
It's why our family crest is a white flag.
所以我们的家徽是一面白旗
That reminds me, Charles,
这倒提醒我了 Charles
your shipment's downstairs. Great.
你的货在楼下太好了
I'll help you bring it up. Charles, no.
我去帮你拿上来 Charles 不
We're gonna go down to that office and fight this thing.
我们要去那间办公室然后努力争取
I need that money for my honeymoon.
我需要这笔钱来度蜜月
Oh, my God. The honeymoon is on the line?
我的天啊这关乎的是我的蜜月
And your money. Eh.
还有你的钱啊嗯
Okay, great. Whatever gets you onboard. Let's go.
好太好了只要你跟我一起去就行走吧
For the honeymoon and no other reason. All right.
为了蜜月别无其他好吧
Sergeant Santiago,
Santiago警长
commander of the Nine-Nine's uniformed officers,
99分局警员的领导者
reporting for duty. Hey!
来此报道嘿
My first order as Sergeant, tell me I look dope.
我作为警长的一个命令告诉我我很酷
You look dope. You won't be abusing
你很酷你不会这样对着楼下的
your power like this with the officers downstairs, will you?
那些警员滥用职权的对吧
No! No, of course not.
不不当然不会
I'm just excited for my first day.
只不过是第一天上岗我很兴奋
Yes, I remember my first day as a sergeant.
嗯我还记得我第一天做警长的时候
I bet.
肯定记得
My Uncle Geoffrey was struck by a subway and maimed.
我的叔叔Geoffrey被地铁撞残
Oh. But the work aspect was quite exciting.
噢但是工作方面还是很让人兴奋的
Are you ready for your first briefing?
准备好做你第一次简报会议了吗
Yes, I am fully prepared.
是的完全准备好了
I just wanna establish myself as a leader right away.
我想要立马给自己塑造一个领导者的形象
Just be confident, deliberate and firm.
只要自信从容立场坚定就可以了
You'll know you have their respect
当你在停顿之后
when you can take a moment...
还是能掌握他们的注意力时
and still keep their attention.
你就知道你获得他们的尊敬了
Amazing. That was captivating as hell.
太棒了刚才那简直太引人入胜了
My recommendation would be you start with a small, attainable goal--
我建议你从小的可达成的目标开始
something you can accomplish quickly,
那种你能很快
perfectly and publicly.
很完美并且公开达成的目标
The best way to lead is to always achieve all your goals.
做领导的最佳方法就是永远都要达成你的目标
Cool. That's not a ton of pressure.
酷这压力一点也不大
Well, it was meant to be.
嗯你应该有压力
Pressure's an important part of success.
压力是成功重要的一部分
Just remember, you represent
记住你现在代表了
all Latina policewomen right now.
所有拉丁裔的女警♥察♥
Thanks.
谢谢
Hello. Welcome to NutriServices.
你好欢迎来到营养服务
I'm Angela. How can I heal you today?
我是Angela 今天能为您治疗点什么
Hi, Angela. Creepy greeting.
嗨 Angela 瘆人的问候语
So not a big deal, there was just a little bit of a mix-up
也不是什么大事就是有一点小混乱
and we need to cancel our NutriConrtracts.
然后我们想要取消我们的营养合同
Absolutely. It happens all the time.
没问题这种事经常发生的
All you need to do is sign a few things.
你们只需要签几个名字就可以了
Ah. See, Charles, that is why you never give up.
啊看Charles 这就是永不放弃的原因
I'll also need $10,000. What's that? I'm sorry.
我还需要1万美元不好意思什么玩意
It's payment for the last shipment.
是为了付最后一次送货的钱
Plus the cancellation fee, plus the restocking fee
加上取消费重新上货费
plus something we call a coward's charge.
再加上一个名为懦夫附加费的费用
And that comes to $10,000.
总共是1万美元
Congratulations. Thank you.
恭喜你们谢谢你
I'll write you a check. Is gratuity included?
我给你写张支票小费算进去了吗
Charles, no.
Charles 不
Angela Yes? How can I heal you today?
Angela 在呢今天能为您治疗点什么
Please stop saying that.
麻烦你别再说这句话了
Look, you seem like a perfectly pleasant robot person,
这样吧你看起来是个人特别好的机器人
but there's no way we're giving you any more money.
但是我们绝对不会再多给你一毛钱了
Ohh. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
噢不好意思我没把话说清楚
For the no payment option, you just need to sign here.
如果不付钱的话您只要在这里签名就可以了
"Enrollment in NutriCore"?
"营养核心报名表"
It's our charity organization.
是我们的慈善机构
"Pay off your contracts in labor hours"
"用接受创始人David Stovelman医剩的"
"under the teachings of founder Docter David Stovelman."
"再教育时长来偿还您的合同款项"
"Docter" Is spelled with an E?
"医剩" 居然是剩不是生吗
It's the British spelling That can't be right.
英国人就是这么拼的这怎么可能
All right, look. I didn't wanna have to do this,
好了听着我本来不想这么做的
but we're in the NYPD.
但是我们是纽约警♥察♥局的
And if you don't cooperate, we'll have no choice
如果你不配合的话那我们就只能
but to file a report against the company.
对你们公♥司♥进行书面投诉了
You signed a contract, and that is binding.
你们签了合同合同是由法律效应的
No one gets special treatment, Officer.
没有人能得到特殊优待警官
Not even Jay. Who?
连Jay也不行谁
Jay Chandrasekhar, their celebrity spokesman.
Jay Chandrasekhar 公♥司♥的明星代言人
Oh, no way. The guy from "Super Troopers"?
噢不是吧那个演<超级骑警>的人
Yep. He was also in "Beerfest."
就是他他还演过<酒国英雄榜>
Now I have to get back to work,
我现在必须得继续工作了
but allow me to introduce you to our complaint specialist.
请让我把你们转给我们的投诉专员
This is Phil. He's been assigned to intimidate you.
这位是Phil 他是专门派来吓唬你们的