神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S05E18

Part 5 Oct. 1, 2020, 12:24 p.m.

pee on everything he owns,
在他所有的东西上尿尿
and then burn that place to the ground.
然后一把火把他家烧了
Adrian, that's it. It is?
Adrian 就是这个真的吗
Yes! I knew it! No, no, no.
太好了我就知道不不不
Not anything about anything you said.
完全不是你刚刚说的
But, Charles, didn't you just tell me you fired someone?
但是 Charles 你不是跟我说你开除了一个人吗
Yeah, Ted. I took him out to dinner.
嗯 Ted 我带他出去吃了一顿晚饭
He thought he was getting a promotion.
他以为他要升职了
It was a whole thing.
说来话长
He wept a lot. Not as much as me...
他一直哭虽然没有我哭得多
Yeah, but the point is, he was upset, right?
嗯但重点是他很生气对吧
And he knew where you liked to park the truck.
而且他还知道你喜欢在哪停车
Uh-huh. And he never gave me my key back.
没错而且他从来没还过我钥匙
He said he lost it. You really think it's him?
他说他丢了你真的认为是他干的
I mean, it's just a hunch, but...
就是一种感觉但是
We should go to his house and burn it down.
我们应该去他家然后一把火烧了
I was gonna say we could go investigate.
我是想说我们可以调查一下的
Sure, sure, sure.
当然当然当然
And then burn it to the ground.
然后再一把火烧了
No. No burning of anything!
不不会烧任何东西的
What? I already got the match lit.
什么我都已经把火柴点着了
How? Let's hurry up and get there.
你怎么办到的赶紧往那里赶吧
Captain, I'm trying to get your account reinstated,
警监我已经试着帮你恢复账号♥了
but it could take a while.
但是这可能得花一段时间
They say they have a lot of Nazi stuff on the front burner.
他们说要把很多纳粹的内容当做重点优先处理
And when you tweet again,
还有你再发推特的时候
you should probably stop communicating in numbers, kay?
你就别再用数字交流了可以吗
There's a 0% chance of that.
这事有0%可能性
Besides, I won't be tweeting anymore.
而且我也不会再发推特了
I just got off the phone with the head of the selection committee.
我刚刚和选拔委员会的领导通过电♥话♥
You did?
是吗
Apparently, one of the candidates for commissioner
其中一个局长候选人
tweeted a picture of the water main break
发了一张水管爆裂的图片
and accidentally included a link
里面不小心带上了
to his favorite pornographic website...
他收藏的黄色网站链接
Mm. Cosplaybuttsnboobs.Com.
嗯咪♥咪♥和翘臀角色扮演.com
Amateur move.
业余选手
You should never copy-paste if you're a perv.
如果你是个变♥态♥ 永远都不要复♥制♥粘贴
It's quite the scandal. The candidate has dropped out.
丑闻很严重这名候选人已经退出竞选了
It's down to just three of us now.
现在就剩下我们三个人了
So I guess this proves I was right all along.
我觉得这证明了我一直都是对的
Social media... it's a fool's game,
社交网络是傻瓜游戏
and only a fool would play.
也只有傻瓜才会玩
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
嗯哼嗯哼
And why is Cheddar wearing a beret?
那为什么Cheddar带了一顶贝雷帽
Uh...
呃
Kevin saw your photos and was amused,
Kevin看了你的照片觉得很好笑
so we started an Instagram account for Cheddar,
所以我们就给Cheddar建了一个Instagram账户
who now has over 14,000 followers.
它现在有超过1.4万的粉丝
Hoo-whee!
噢耶
It's an incredible feeling.
感觉非常好
This is insulting.
这简直太侮辱人了
First you fire me in front of my family.
你先是在我家人面前开除我
Ooh, Charles, his family was at the dinner?
噢 Charles 他的家人也一起去吃了晚饭
It was not well-handled.
场面没有控制好
Now you accuse me of arson.
现在你又说我纵火
Just get out of my garage.
滚出我的车♥库♥
Hey, Ted?
嘿 Ted
How come you have all this turpentine?
你为什么会有这么多松节油
And this plastic bag filled with matches and magnesium strips.
还有这个装满了火柴和镁条的塑料袋
I found it buried under the back porch,
我看它们被埋在后面的门廊下面
and I'm no expert, but it seems like
我虽然不是什么专家但是看起来
that's the kind of stuff you'd use to light a fire, right?
这是要纵火才需要的东西我没说错吧
Oh, there he goes.
哦他要跑了
Say it with me, Jake.
来和我一起说 Jake
You've been...
你被
Denied! Buttslammed!
拒绝理赔了打得屁滚尿流了
Wait, what? Denied, like the stamp?
等等啥拒绝理赔了就像你那个戳一样
Oh, that is so much better.
哦你这句好太多了
"Butt-slammed" Is so stupid.
"屁滚尿流"简直太蠢了
Oh, is that the wedding dress
噢这婚纱是不是来自
from the Erica Somerfield 2018 fall collection?
2018 Erica Somerfield秋季款
No way, the bodice is totally different.
不可能这件紧身上衣完全不一样
Why do you two know so much about wedding dresses?
为什么你俩这么了解婚纱
They're the only thing you can look at around here
婚纱是唯一一个在开了安全搜索之后
with safe search on!
还能在分局里看的东西
All right, that's enough.
好了够了
Can we all get back to police work
我们是不是可以继续警♥察♥该做的工作
and stop talking about wedding dresses?
不要再讨论婚纱了
No. We're gonna talk about them,
不我们要讨论
because while wearing a wedding dress,
因为就算穿着婚纱
you leapt over a couch,
你还是跳过了一个沙发
sprinted down an alley, and jumped off a car
在巷子里冲刺然后越过了一辆车
to subdue the crap out of a perp like you were Wonder Woman.
像神奇女侠一样把那个罪犯打得找不着北
It was pretty cool, wasn't it?
那确实是挺酷的哈
Amy, you are an amazing cop and a great leader,
Amy 你是一名好警♥察♥ 一名好领导
and you have proven that a billion times over.
而且你已经证明了无数次了
You can't let other people's opinions get in the way
你不能因为别人的看法而阻止你
of what you want, especially because other people suck.
得到自己想要的尤其是那些人都蠢爆了的时候
Well, if I'm being honest,
好吧其实说实话
I would like a prettier dress. There you go.
我想要一件更美的婚纱这就对了
And I would like it to have some lace.
我想要婚纱带点蕾丝
Uhhuh. And a sweetheart neckline,
嗯嗯还有鸡心领
thank you very much. What else?
谢谢各位还有呢
And I want a mermaid cut with tulip sleeves.
我还想要带郁金香袖子的鱼尾裙
Say it again. Say it loud.
再说一遍大声说出来
A mermaid cut with tulip frickin' sleeves!
带他么郁金香袖子的鱼尾裙
Pimento's here! All right!
Pimento来了好了
Thanks so much for that text, man.
谢谢你给我发的那条短♥信♥ 老兄
That meant a lot.
对我来说意义非凡
The one that said, "Want to grab a drink tonight?"
是那条写了今晚要不要去喝一杯的吗
Yeah.
没错
Hey, Boyle, did you get that insurance payout?
嘿 Boyle 你收到保险理赔了吗
Yes, I am out of the food truck business,
嗯我也不做外卖♥♥餐车的生意了
and I no longer start spontaneously weeping.
也不毫无征兆的哭泣了
Nice. Listen, I'm sorry you got fired.
太好了听着我很遗憾你被开除了
Oh, don't worry about it. I got myself fired, all right?
噢不用担心是我自己的错对吧
Plus, doesn't matter. I got a way better job now.
还有已经无所谓了我有了一份更好的工作
I'm working at one of those fancy hand lotion stores.
我现在在一家高大上的护手霜专卖♥♥店上班
Spoiler alert: I have a gun again,
剧透提醒我又有枪了
and I've gotten to use it three times.
而且已经用了三次了
You would be surprised
你肯定会吃惊的
how often teenage girls try and shoplift mango hand cream.
如果你知道那些未成年少女有多常偷店里芒果手霜的话
Huh. But it smells great!
呵但是闻起来很香哦
I love it. I can get you some.
我喜欢我可以给你搞一点
Well, listen, man, I've got something for you.
好了老兄我有东西要给你
Really? For me?
真的给我的
It's an invitation to my wedding.
是我婚礼的请柬
Aw, Jake, I am so honored
哦 Jake 是我的荣幸
and would love to be...
我很愿意
oh, nope, I can't make this.
哦不行我去不了
This is the same night as Lady Gaga.
这和Lady Gaga是在同一晚啊
Oh, thank God. I didn't run it by Amy,
哦谢天谢地我没跟Amy打招呼
so this worked out great for both of us!
所以这对咱俩来说都很合适啊
But honestly,
但是讲真的
nobody's gonna come to this,
不会有人去这个婚礼的
because everybody's gonna be at Gaga.
因为大家都会去看Gaga的