神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S05E10

Part 1 Oct. 1, 2020, 12:22 p.m.

And so concludes this year's Secret Santa drawing.
今年的秘密圣诞老人抽签就到此结束了
Just a quick reminder of the rules:
再提醒一下活动规则
$40 limit, no perishable items,
礼物价值上限为40美元不许送易腐坏物品
and no homemade massage coupons, Hitchcock.
也不许送自♥制♥按♥摩♥劵 Hitchcock
Fine, then everyone'll have to pay full price for them.
好吧那你们就都得付原价了
Oh, Captain. I would like a $40 gift card
哦警监我想要一张40美元礼品卡
to any restaurant that serves nachos.
能在有卖♥♥玉米片的饭店用就行
I don't have you, Peralta.
我没抽到你 Peralta
Not only do I know that you do indeed have me,
我不光知道你抽到的是我
but I also know who everyone else has.
我还知道你们都抽着谁了
That's not possible.
不可能
Perhaps not for an ordinary man such as yourself, Jeffords.
对于你这样的平凡人来说也许不可能 Jeffords
But for the brilliant mind of
但是对于我这么聪明的人
Detective Jacob Sherlock Peralta...
Jacob Sherlock Peralta警探
I legally changed my name...
我已经正式改了名字
it's quite simply...
这不过是很简单的
elementary.
基本演绎法
For, you see, Amy made a face
你看 Amy做了一个表情
I only recognized from our bedroom,
我只在我俩卧室里见过的那种
which means that she has Captain Holt.
说明她抽到了Holt警监
Charles has Terry. His eyes keep shifting over to him.
Charles抽到了Terry 他的眼睛不停地看向他
No, I don't.
不我没看
Terry looked disgusted,
Terry看起来被恶心着了
which means he has Hitchcock.
那就说明他抽到了Hitchcock
Rosa didn't draw a name, nor did she put one in.
Rosa没抽也没把自己的名字放进去
She doesn't wanna participate. Never do.
她并不想参与从来没想过
Hitchcock moves his mouth when he reads
默读名字的时候Hitchcock动了嘴唇
and he quite clearly said Charles.
他明显说的就是Charles
I did get Charles.
我是抽到了Charles
Scully has Amy.
Scully抽到了Amy
He's hold his paper name-side out.
他把纸条写着名字的那面露出来了
Oh, he's good.
噢厉害哦
And I have Scully,
而我抽到了Scully
which means Captain Holt has me.
那就说明Holt警监抽到了我
I'll be taking that gift card.
我就要那个礼品卡了
Daddy loves nachos.
爸爸我就爱吃玉米片
Should we draw the names again and leave Jake out?
咱们要不要再抽一次这回不带Jake
Yeah!
好啊
No! Sherlock wants a present!
不嘛 Sherlock也想要礼物
Okay, quick update on the Warren Street break-in.
好简要报告一下沃伦街的入室打劫案
Security cameras caught a picture of the suspect and guess what?
保安摄像拍到了嫌疑人的脸你们猜怎么着
That's right. We got a hot perp alert.
没错性感嫌犯警报已拉响
Ooh! That's a handsome man.
喔喔这男的帅哦
Mm, I'd like to bring that guy to justice.
嗯我想把这男的"绳之以法"
We all would.
我们都想
But unfortunately, police cornered him
不幸的是警♥察♥围堵他时
and he shot himself in the face.
他朝自己脸上开了一枪
All right. Thank you for that shockingly dark update.
好了感谢你带来如此令人震惊的黑暗报告
Anything else?
还有别的事吗
Uh, yes.
呃有
Something I'd like to say.
我有话想说
I'm a pretty private person, so...
我是一个很注重隐私的人
this is kinda hard for me, but...
所以这对我来说有点难但是
here we go.
我要说了
I'm bi-sexual. All right.
我是双性恋好了
I will now field one minute and zero seconds
现在给你们一分零秒的时间
of questions pertaining to this.
有什么问题就问吧
Go. Amy.
说吧 Amy
How long have you known?
你知道多久了
Since seventh grade. I was watching "Saved by the Bell"
从七年级开始我那时在看<救命下课铃>
and I thought, Zack Morris is hot.
我当时就想 Zack Morris好性感
And then I thought Lisa Turtle, also hot.
然后我又想 Lisa Turtle 也很性感
The fact that the words Kelly and Kapowski
Kelly Kapowski这个名字
didn't just come out of your mouth is lunacy.
居然没被你提起简直是不可思议
What made you decided to tell us now?
是什么让你决定要现在告诉我们的
Charles found out on the road trip
Charles在上次自驾游路上发现了
and I was positive he was not
而且我确信
gonna be able to keep the secret for much longer.
这个秘密他肯定守不了太久了
Bye Rosa.
拜 Rosa
I mean, not "Bi," But bye!
我是说不是"双" 而是"拜"
I mean, see ya!
我是说回见
I mean, have fun only having sex with men.
我是说只和男人上♥床♥真开心
Just bangin' dudes, left and right.
只搞男的左啊右啊
I just stopped saying bye all together.
我后来直接就不说"拜"这个字了
So are you seeing anyone now?
那你现在有对象吗
Yeah. Her name's Tiffany.
有她叫Tiffany
Are you lying about her name
你是不是瞎编一个名字
so we won't look her up?
这样我们就查不到她了
Yes, I am. Next.
没错下一个
Do you know Anne Heche? I do.
你认识Anne Heche吗认识
Ohh. I must say, this is going
喔我想说这走向
considerably better than when I came out to my colleagues.
和当时我向同事出柜的时候比好了不止一点
They were not, as the kids say, awake.
他们没有用现在的孩子的话讲那么解放
Do you mean woke? I did mean woke.
你是说开放吗我是指的开放
But it's grammatically incoherent.
但是那样说语法就不连贯了
Okay, we have time for one more question.
好了还能回答最后一个问题
Oh! Ooh, ooh, ooh! Nope. Absolutely not. We're done.
哦哦哦不拒绝提问结束
Smart. It was not tasteful.
机智那可不是什么好问题
Is anyone else having trouble with the Internet?
大家的网络是不是都有点故障啊
I've been trying to file a warrant request for 45 minutes
我一直在发一份逮捕请求已经发了45分钟了
and the stupid server keeps timing out.
蠢服务器总说请求超时
Nothing's loading. It's all pinwheels.
没有一样在加载全是小转轮
This all started when Cyber Crimes moved in downstairs.
都是网络犯罪组搬到楼下之后才这样的
I bet those jerks are hogging our bandwidth.
我打赌那帮混♥蛋♥占着我们的带宽
Man, I miss the Sex Crimes Unit.
老天我怀念性犯罪组
I know! They were so fun.
我懂他们最欢乐了
Remember their Christmas Party?
记得他们的圣诞节派对吗
Okay, Sergeant Jeffords and I will talk to Cyber.
好了我和Jeffords警长会和网络组谈一下
Tell them I can't get on WebMD.
告诉他们我上不了健康查询网站了
My nipple tripled in size and I wanna know if it's good or bad.
我的乳♥头♥涨了三倍大我想知道这是好是坏
Can't believe that's good.
这还能是什么好事
Hey. Was that weird earlier?
嘿之前是不是怪怪的
You mean when Charles showed us those pictures of
你是说Charles给我们看的那些
Nikolaj taking a very sudsless bath?
Nikolaj没有什么泡泡的泡泡浴照吗
Yes, it was uncomfortable.
没错确实不怎么舒服
No, I mean when I told everyone I was bi.
不是我是说我向大家宣布我是双的时候
Was it too touchyfeely? Rosa, no. It was great.
是不是太外露了 Rosa 没有你说得很好
And don't worry, just because you opened up a little bit
不要担心就因为你敞开了一点点心扉
doesn't mean everyone's gonna be less afraid of you.
不代表大家会少怕你一点点
We're all still terrified.
我们还是怕得要命
Thanks, Jake.
谢谢 Jake
So how'd your parents take it?
你的父母怎么说
Uhh...
呃
I haven't told 'em yet. Really?
我还没告诉他们真的
I mean, of course, you don't have to, but...
当然我不是说你必须要说
I just thought you guys were getting closer since prison.
我只是以为你们在监狱那件事后变得更亲密了
No, I mean, we are. It's just,
不我们确实更亲了只是
I don't know how I would say something like that.
我不知道该怎么跟他们说这件事
Especially to my dad. He's super traditional.
尤其是我爸他观念特传统
I'm afraid this would just mess everything up.
我怕我说了会把事情弄僵
We've been having so much fun lately.
我们最近相处得特别好
I don't wanna lose that.
我不想失去那些美好
OK, maybe just be honest with them. Right?
好吧你可以把你的心里话说出来对吧
Tell 'em how you feel. Like, you could say,
告诉他们你的感受比如你可以说
Mom, Dad, I'm bisexual.
妈爸我是双性恋
But I'm still your daughter.
但我还是你们的女儿
I'm still the same person that I've always been.
我还是以前的我
And who I love will never change that.
我喜欢谁永远不会改变这一点
And you guys raised me to be strong and confident.
你们抚养我长大教我要自信又坚强
And I don't wanna hide who I am anymore.
我不想再隐藏我到底是谁了