神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S05E11

Part 4 Oct. 1, 2020, 12:22 p.m.

You know what? I think I left my wallet at home.
哎呀我钱包好像落在家里了
I'm just gonna turn around.
我掉个头吧
Dude, look.
兄弟你快看
My favorite gamer just uploaded a new vid,
我最喜欢的游戏玩家刚上传了一个视频
and his mom is in this one.
他妈妈也在视频里面
Then Tom Cruise hang glides in with a machine gun
然后汤姆克鲁斯吊着绳索下滑手里拿着一把机关枪
and he's like, "This is my party now!"
然后他就说 "这地盘换我做主了"
Anyway, if I could make a movie,
反正要是我拍电影的话
that's how it would start.
我肯定这样开场
Kyle, look, two birds are having sex!
Kyle 快看那边有两只鸟在啪啪啪
What? Where? Aw, man, I missed it.
什么哪儿嗷我居然错过了
Well, let's just turn around again.
没事我们掉头就是了
Where are those birds?
鸟呢
Still no humping birds. Damn it.
哪儿有鸟在啪啪啪啊
We're never gonna see those birds.
我们大概永远也看不到鸟在啪啪啪吧
Look behind that 1980 white Rolls Royce.
就在那辆1980年产的白色劳斯莱斯后面
Ugh, I wish that stupid car would move.
噁真希望能把那辆车给移走
Kyle, isn't that your uncle's car?
Kyle 这不是你叔叔的车吗
Oh, my God. Dude!
我的天老兄
I did it. I found it. I found my uncle's car.
我居然找到了我找到了我叔叔的车
Victory dance, whoo!
成功之舞耶
Oh, no, wait, stop! Don't dance in the...
等等别跳啊别在大马路上
Oh, Fredo.
噢傻Fredo
I think I got hit!
我好像被车撞了
Ok, why are you barefoot?
你怎么光着脚啊
I'm violating uniform conduct code 773
我在公然违反制♥服♥规范733条例
because the rules are pointless
因为这些条条框框实在没有任何意义
because they were written by a hoarder who doesn't care.
因为这些规矩是由一个没心没肺的囤积狂定的
Same here. Fight the power.
我也是这么想的要反抗权势
We can't give up now.
我们可不能就这么放弃
Not when Captain Holt's career is on the line.
Holt警监的职业生涯命悬一线
We have to get that permit.
我们必须得拿到许可证
How? The forms don't make any sense.
怎么拿啊这些表格根本讲不通啊
I mean, is anything even real?
这个世界里所有的东西都是假的
No. Odds are we exist in a computer simulation,
对其实我们很有可能是存在于虚拟的电脑模拟中
but I don't have time to go down that rabbit hole.
但我现在没有时间深究这个问题
Look, the fact that these forms are broken is a good thing.
你看其实表格有问题未尝不是件好事
It means there are many mistakes.
这证明肯定还有其他的漏洞
Mistakes we can exploit.
而我们可以利用那些漏洞
That's right.
没错
This is every form SAPO has put out for 100 years.
这里是近一百年来活证签办出具的表格
We have to read every single one
我们得一张一张仔仔细细地看一遍
and look for miniscule mistakes that will help us get that permit.
找出细节性错误帮助我们拿到许可证
So you ready for a kick-ass assignment?
准备好去执行一项屌♥爆的任务了吗
Hell yeah.
那还用说
Let's do this.
一起行动吧
Hey, why'd you want to meet out here?
嘿怎么突然想在这见面了
Because we have a huge surprise for you.
因为我们给你准备了一个大大的惊喜
You found my birth mother?
你找到了我的生母吗
What? No.
啥没
The surprise isn't gonna be as good as that...
这个惊喜没有你想的那么好
I'm sorry I let you guess... but...
很抱歉让你猜来着不过呢
Yeah, after we dropped you at the hospital,
把你送到医院之后
we went back and stole it for you.
我们去把车给你偷回来啦
Now you can give it to your uncle.
这下你可以把它给你叔叔了
Oh, my God.
我的天
He's gonna finally let me back in the family.
这下他终于能让我回归家族了
Fabien, Marco,
Fabien Marco
I don't know how I can ever repay you.
我都不知道怎么能回报你们
Oh, don't worry about it. It was nothing.
不要想这些没事的
No, it was everything.
不这很重要
You guys believe in me, and honestly, it saved my life.
你们对我有信心说实话你们救了我一命
Remember the other day at the bar when we first met?
还记得在酒吧我们刚遇见的那天吗
I was all alone and having some pretty dark thoughts.
我孤身一人脑子里有很多非常阴暗的想法
Really? Yeah.
是吗嗯
I was ready to just, uh, give up...
我都已经准备好就放弃
Oh, no, Kyle. On my rap career.
不 Kyle 我的说唱生涯了
Oh, went somewhere different than I thought.
哦跟我想的有点不一样哈
I'm glad that you kept rapping? Thanks.
你继续说唱我真开心谢谢
You're the two best dudes I've ever known.
你们是我见过的最好的两个人
That's nice. And hey, guess what?
真好对了你知道吗
You did find my birth mother. Nope.
你们确实找到我生母了没
I was gonna say you're a great guy, too,
我是准备说你也是个挺好的人来着
but I'm sorry I keep teeing that up.
不好意思铺垫过多总让你空欢喜
But you're looking for her?
但是你们是在找她对吧
Sure.
当然了
Oh, hello, Muriel.
哦你好啊 Muriel
Ugh. The block party girls.
唉又是搞街区聚会的小丫头
Look, I told you, your forms don't work.
你看我跟你说过了你的表格没用的
You're not getting the permit.
你得不到许可证
Right. But we had a different permit in mind.
行吧不过我们准备申另一张许可证
This is form 8,
这是编号♥8的表格
as in the eighth form ever written for the city of New York.
是为纽约市所编写的第八种表格
Those old forms are all out of circulation.
这些旧的表格已经不再用了
They should be, but someone made a mistake,
应该如此但是有人犯了个错
and this one was never officially decertified.
这个一直没有正式被撤销
Which means it's still valid,
也就是说它还是有效的
which means you have to process it.
这表明你必须处理它
"Street closure request
"街道关闭申请"
for the public humiliation of loose women."
"以便公开羞辱放荡♥女♥性"
And, as you can see, you are required to expedite processing
如你所见你还得加急处理
for the fee of one hay penny.
因为我会给你半便士的加急费
Keep the change.
不用找零了
Okay, but it says here that the form...
好吧但是这里说了这个表
Must be submitted by a man.
必须由男性提交
I know. It's a huge bummer.
我知道晴天霹雳
But also...
但是呢
Hi, there.
你好呀
I'd like to humiliate some hussies,
我想要羞辱一些贱妇
and I'm in a hurry.
而且我挺急的
Pumping hard or hardly pumping, Gina?
在用心吸奶还是零星吸奶啊 Gina
Where were you?
你去哪儿了
Uh, just so we're on the same page,
呃先通个气吧
how long have you been here,
你在这待多久了
I.E.how elaborate does my lie need to be?
换句话说我得说多精妙的谎才够
An hour. Okay.
一个小时了好吧
The CIA contacted me, and there's some...
中♥央♥情报局联♥系♥我来着有点
Gina, you cannot use pumping as an excuse to slack off.
Gina 你不能用吸奶作为偷懒的借口啊
I wasn't slacking off.
我没有在偷懒
Well, you weren't here.
那你也没在这儿啊
Man, I was trying to help you.
天我是想帮你的啊
Ugh. I know. I'm sorry, I went home.
我知道抱歉我回家了
I was missing Iggy and I wanted to see her.
我很想Iggy 我想见见她
Oh,
这样啊
well, you could've just told me.
你可以直接告诉我的啊
Yeah, but I was embarrassed.
但是我觉得很尴尬啊
I thought I'd be as incredible at being a working mom
我还以为我会做一个超级棒的工作型妈妈
as I am at everything else I do:
就像我做任何别的事一样棒
dancing, public speaking, capoeira, ghost hunting...
舞蹈啦公众演讲啦跳卡波耶拉啦猎鬼啦
You don't have to keep listing things you're good at.
你不用在这一一列举你擅长的事儿
Earring-making, cabinet renovation.
制♥作♥耳环啦翻新橱柜啦
But juggling things is hard.
但是同时周♥旋♥于这些事情真的很难
I feel like a failure. I feel like a Coulier.
我觉得很失败我觉得自己就像Coulier
No, you're not a Coulier, Gina.
不 Gina 你不像Coulier
Look, being a working parent is hard.
作为有工作的父母就是很难
When my twins were born,
我家双胞胎出生的时候
I made Sharon keep the phone on all day just so I could listen to them.
为了能听见她们的声音我让Sharon一整天都开着电♥话♥
One month, I used 25,000 minutes.
我一个月的通话时长就有25000分钟
I'm sorry.
抱歉
I just realized I told you it sucks and there's no solution.
我刚意识到我跟你说了这事儿很难而且无解