神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S05E01

Part 4 Oct. 1, 2020, 12:19 p.m.

Jake. Beef Baby.
Jake 牛肉小宝
Jake. Beef Baby.
Jake 牛肉小宝
Jake. Beef Baby.
Jake 牛肉小宝
Jake. Beef Baby.
Jake 牛肉小宝
Jake. Beef. Baby!
Jake 牛肉小宝
Beef Baby.
牛肉小宝
Okay, here's the plan.
好的计划是这样的
Tank said Wilson beats up inmates,
Tank说Wilson会打犯人
so all I have to do is get him to attack me
所以我只需要让他来袭击我
and then file a complaint with the prison board.
然后向监狱委员会提出控告
Sure, but whenever the bulls attack us--
行但每次我们挨打
which happens all the time
这事儿一直都有
the security cameras are conveniently not working that day,
监控摄像头那天恰好就会当机
so it's just your word against theirs.
到最后都是空口无凭
Well, lucky for me, I have my own camera.
噢我真幸运我有自己的相机
It's the perfect plan.
真是个完美的计划
Hey, I've never been beaten up by a prison guard before.
嘿我还从来没被狱警打过
They don't use that baton, do they?
他们不会用警棍的对吧
You seem pretty committed to this plan,
你好像已经下定决心要执行这个计划了
so there's no real benefit to me answering.
所以说回答你对我来说也没有实在的好处
Sounds good.
听上去不错
So, you painted my apartment?
所以说你已经把我的公♥寓♥粉刷好了
Walls in "White Wisp,". Trim in "Honeymilk."
墙刷成"白精灵色儿" 边角是"蜂蜜牛奶色儿"
And you filed my taxes.
你也帮我报好税了
You're getting your maximum refund
你马上就会收到最大退税额了
And picked up my abuela at the airport? -
到机场接了我的奶奶吗
Yes, I went and got her at the Philadelphia International Airport.
是的我去费城国际机场接到她了
In Pennsylvania.
在宾夕法尼亚
And you broke the news to her about
你也委婉地告诉她了
about how I got sent to prison
她了我是怎么进的监狱
and she'll probably die before I get out?
以及有可能她去世之前我都没法出狱的消息了是吧
Mm-hmm, had that fun conversation.
已经聊过了聊得挺开心
But it was all worth it for you,
但为了你一切都是值得的
you poor little caged bird.
你这只可怜的囚鸟
Great, because I have another favor to ask.
很好因为我还要让你帮个忙
Another?
还要
Yeah, I need you to cancel my cable.
是的我需要你帮我退掉有线电视套餐
That's it?
就这个
That's easy.
这很简单啊
I've been on the phone for six hours
我已经打了六个小时的电♥话♥了
and I just wanna cancel an account.
我只想要取消一个账户
Yes, you've mentioned the bundles
是的你已经介绍过套餐服务了
and I don't want home phone service.
而且我不想要家庭电♥话♥服务
No, do not transfer me, Rodrigo--no, no!
不不要转走我的电♥话♥ Rodrigo 不不
No, Rodrigo!
别啊 Rodrigo
All right, there's Wilson.
好的那个就是Wilson
I'll go make him mad. When he attacks me,
我要把他惹火等到他袭击我的时候
you film it. Then afterwards,
你就拍下来这之后
we'll meet up in the bathroom. Okay, great.
我们就在卫生间碰头好的完美
What are you gonna do to get him angry?
你打算怎么把他惹火呢
Well, I don't know him,
这个我也不了解他
so I'm not sure what buttons to push,
所以我也不确定具体怎么办
but I'm sure if I try enough things,
但我确定的是如果我把什么都试一遍
something will set him off.
总有什么能让他爆发的
Excuse me, can I ask you a question?
不好意思我可以问你一个问题吗
Get back to your table. Yeah, you know, I would,
回到你的桌子那里好的我会的
except for...
除了
Oh, my God, that's all it took?
我的天哪这都行
I told you to get back to your table!
我早就告诉过你回你的桌子去
Are you okay? Yeah.
你还好吧没事
What hurts the most is knowing
最让我受伤的是知道了
that prisoners are treated this way every day
在我们的刑罚体系里
in our penal system... also, he kicked me
囚犯们每天都是被这么对待的
in the wiener a bunch. Mm.
对我小鸡鸡一顿猛踢呃
Show me the video. I'll send it to Charles,
给我看看录像我会把他发给Charles
he'll say he got it anonymously, and then...
他会说他得到的是匿名举报然后
Oh, my God, that's all it took?
噢我的天这都行
Caleb, is this it?
Caleb 就这样
Did you film yourself the whole time?
你全程都在拍自己吗
Okay, look, I've been
好了好了听着我已经
in prison for 15 years. I'm not good
在监狱待了15年我不是很擅长
with new technology.
摆弄这些新技术
You want somebody to lure a kid to a park
如果你想通过网上聊天室把孩子拐到公园
using a Lycos chatroom, I'm your man.
我是此中行家
Look, just press this button
听着只要按下这个按键
and make it front-facing. Come on, let's try it again.
让它面朝前摄像来吧我们再试一次
Hey, Wilson...
嘿 Wilson
Please tell me you were pointed
请告诉我你当时是
in the right direction that time.
对着正确的方向
Yes, but there was a different issue.
没错但是有一个不同的问题
Caleb! You added the fiesta filter?
Caleb 你这是加了节日滤镜
I'm doing the best I can. Tell that to my wiener!
我已经尽我所能了对着我的鸡鸡说这话去
I'm doing the No, don't reallygosh...
我已经不不是真的要天呐
Okay, how'd you screw it up this time?
好了你这次是怎么搞砸的啊
I didn't. I got everything.
我没有我拍下了全程
I even zoomed in for some close-ups.
我甚至还放大拍了一些特写镜头
Oh, thank God.
谢天谢地
I was so sure that something was gonna go wrong.
我本来还很确信哪里会出岔子
Hey there, Peralta.
你好呀 Paralta
Oh, I'll take that phone now.
哦我现在要没收那部手♥机♥
I heard a new mate and a guard were having a fight,
我听说一个新来的人在和守卫打架
so I go to do what I normally do:
所以我就做了我通常会做的事
turn off the security cameras. Yup, cool policy.
关上了监控摄像头不错很酷的措施
This place is great. And that's when I noticed
这地方真是太棒了就是在那时候我发现
your cannibal pal taping the whole fight
你那吃人的朋友在用违禁的手♥机♥
with an illegal cell phone.
全程拍摄打架
And what were you planning on doing with this? Blackmailing Wilson?
所以你做这种事是在盘算什么呢想要勒索Wilson吗
No, I was trying to save his life.
不我是在试着挽救他的性命
Ah, come on. Honestly.
哦得了吧我是说真的
I was ordered by this guy, Romero.
我是受了这个姓Romero的人指使
I don't know his first name. Jeff
我不知道他名是什么 Jeff
Really? Romero's first name is Jeff?
真的吗 Romero的名是Jeff
Yeah. Anyway, Jeff ordered me
没错总之 Jeff命令我
to kill Wilson, but I convinced him to let
去杀了Wilson 但是我说服了他说让这人被开除就行
your guy live if I got him fired instead.
好让你的人保住性命
Why do you want him to lose his job?
你为什么想要他失去工作
He's a good man with a family.
他是一个有家室的好人
I mean, he did stomp on my head a bunch of times.
我说他可是结结实实地在我的头上踩来踩去
Those were warning stomps.
这是踩首示警
What are you, part of Romero's crew now?
你现在算是什么 Romero团队的一份子了吗
No, I was trying to get in. That's what the video was for,
不我在试着混进去这就是拍这视频的目的
but obviously, it didn't work. All right.
但是显然这不管用好吧
I'll fire Wilson. Really?
我会解雇Wilson 真的吗
Why? Romero's responsible
为什么 Romero负责
for most of the illegal stuff that goes on in this prison.
这所监狱里绝大部分的非法物品的流通
I've always wanted a man on the inside.
我一直想在他的团伙内部有一个线人
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.
哦不不不不不不
The only people less popular in here than cops are snitches.
在这里唯一比警♥察♥更不受欢迎的就是告密内鬼了
Well, let's be honest,
讲道理的话
it's not great in here for trans people.
变性人在这儿也不好过吧
That is so true. I know.
这可是太对了我知道
They have a hard time. It's a problem.
这类人日子很难挨这是一个问题
Regardless, I won't snitch, okay?
不论如何我不会告密的好吗
It's too dangerous. I'll find some other way
这太危险了我会想一些别的办法
to stay alive. All right.
去活下来好吧
Good luck with that.
祝你好运
Wait.
等等
I'll do what you want...
我会照你说的做
if you let me keep my phone.
只要你能让我留下这部手♥机♥
So, were you able to cancel my cable?
所以你取消掉我的有线电视套餐了吗