公园与游憩（2009）

Parks and Recreation S04E21

Part 4 Jan. 27, 2024, 11:48 a.m.

That's not going to work.
我总得试试
I had to try.
April 我刚给冠军买♥♥了狗粮
April, I just got Champion his dog food,
打扫了你的房♥子归档了文件
cleaned your house, filed that paperwork,
你已经正式成为April Ludgate-Dwyer了
you are officially April Ludgate-Dwyer,
装了个烟雾探测器然后我回来了接下来干嘛
installed a smoke detector and now I'm back. What's next?
没了 Chris 就随便坐哪别来烦我
Nothing, Chris. Just sit down somewhere and stop bothering me.
我不行
I can't.
我今年太艰难了
I've had a very tough year.
我一直在想着Ann和Millicent
I can't stop thinking about Ann and Millicent.
如果我和我的思绪单独相处我会进入黑暗的地方
And if I'm alone with my thoughts, I go to a dark place.
好吧首先黑暗的地方太棒了
Okay. First of all, dark places are awesome.
第二 Ann挺差劲的所以逃过一劫
Secondly, Ann is kind of lame, so way to dodge a bullet.
而Millicent是Jerry的女儿所以两劫
And Millicent is Jerry's daughter, so two bullets.
而且你不是单独的你有...
And you're not alone. You've got...
很多朋友不知在哪
Lots of friends somewhere.
我想
I assume.
你会没事的
You're going to be just fine.
谢谢
Thank you.
你是对的
You're right.
我会没事的
I'll be fine.
我才不是没事根本没用
I'm not fine. It didn't work.
嘿 Bobby
Hey, Bobby.
哦嗨
Oh, hi.
想打保龄吗
Want to play bowling?
你为啥不打那个真的呢
Why don't you play with the real one?
哦
Oh.
我更喜欢这个
I like this one better.
这个小家伙像我
The little guy looks like me.
嘿我们能聊两句吗
Hey, can we talk for a second?
听着我只想说你♥爸♥去世了我真的很抱歉
Look, I just wanted to say I'm really sorry your dad died.
而我叫他混♥蛋♥这点我真的真的很抱歉
And I'm really, really sorry I called him a jerk.
没事的
That's okay.
他已经差不多一百万岁了
He was, like, a million years old.
而且他确实有点混♥蛋♥
And he was kind of a jerk.
我参加这个竞选的唯一原因就是想打动他
The only reason I did this campaign was to impress him,
而他一点都不在乎
and he couldn't have cared less.
你知道吗我妈小时候是个很棒的运动员
You know, my mom was a great athlete when she was a kid.
所以初中的时候我参加了田径队想打动她
So, in junior high, I joined the track team to impress her.
虽然我很讨厌
Even though I hated it.
那一年结束时
And at the end of the year,
我在这个大型田径比赛跑了5000米
I ran the 5,000 meters in this huge track event,
而我是最后一名
and I finished dead last.
我觉得她会对我十分失望的
And I thought she was going to be really disappointed in me.
但她没有她跑向我
But she wasn't. She ran up to me,
然后用一个大大的拥抱环绕我
and she wrapped me up in this big hug,
而她告诉我她从没对我如此骄傲过
and she told me she had never been more proud of me.
谢谢 Leslie 那是个好故事
Thanks, Leslie. That's a great story.
我不是100%确定我理解的重点但是...
I'm not 100% sure I get the point, but...
你这场比赛跑完了 Bobby
You finished this race, Bobby.
竞选结束了你完成了
The campaign is over, and you finished.
不论输赢
Win or lose,
我赌你♥爸♥肯定会为你骄傲的
I bet you anything that your dad was proud of you.
现在我理解了 - 你看看
Now, I get it. - There you go.
你妈和我爸都是混♥蛋♥
Your mom and my dad are both dicks.
80公里内都租不到车了
There's no vans within 50 miles.
而且不知为何没人愿意借我一万刀
And for some reason, no one wants to lend me $10,000.
即使我们有那个钱
Even if we had the dough,
那个骗子也只会开价更高相信我
that bunco artist would just demand more. Trust me.
别动
Don't move.
我们就在这儿呆一个小时不让他出来
Let's just stay here for, like, an hour and not let him out.
这可不对我们的女孩太努力了我们太接近了
This isn't right. Our girl's worked hard. We're so close.
我知道他刚刚没撞上我的宝贝
I know he didn't just hit my baby.
嘿什么鬼啊伙计们
Hey! What the hell, guys?
闪边
Move!
好了你们安全带都系好了吧
All right. Y'all got your seat belts on?
你们看到没那个婊♥子♥养♥的♥刚刚跟我追尾了
Did you see that? That son of a bitch just rear-ended me.
我死了吗
Am I dead?
什么鬼啊
What the hell?
就是说啊 Bill
Exactly, Bill.
什么鬼啊
What the hell?
你刚刚跟我追尾了
You just rear-ended me.
可不是那样的啊
That is not what happened.
但我有目击证人
But I've got witnesses.
是啊完全就是我妹子说的那样你这个卑鄙秃头的男人
Yeah. It went down exactly the way my girl said it did, you mean, bald man.
嘿那你呢 "男人话语是神圣的"先生
Hey, what about you, Mr. A-Man's-Word-is-Sacred?
嗯确实是但你是个混♥蛋♥
Well, it is. But you're an asshole.
所以我们现在可以私了
So, we can settle this now.
我愿意以租车的形式接受赔偿
I will accept payment in van rentals.
好吧我们视频再放一遍
All right, let's go to the video again.
踢得漂亮 Leslie从大楼出来
Sweet kick. Leslie exits the building.
然后你被打了
And then, you get hit.
我们还知道什么
What else do we know?
我们知道Leslie在你前面大概5米远
We know that Leslie was about 15 feet in front of you.
所以很明显攻击者的瞄准太差了
So, clearly, the assailant has terrible aim.
或者...
Or...
Leslie不是目标
Leslie wasn't the target.
嗯那是谁呢
Well, who, then?
好吧那可是永久记号♥笔
Okay, that's permanent marker.
去找Ben 找出他开除掉的所有人去去
Go find Ben. Get a list of everyone he's ever fired. Go, go.
Macklin
Macklin.
你个婊♥子♥养♥的♥
You son of a bitch.
有很多人在问我
A lot of people have been asking me
对今天发生的事情感觉如何
how I feel about everything that's happened today.
嗯然我给你们讲个小故事
Well, let me tell you a little story.
我小时候我爸是这个很棒的运动员
My dad was this amazing athlete when he was a kid.
我初中的时候
When l was in junior high
开始跑长跑来打动他虽然我很讨厌
I started doing track just to impress him, even though I hated it.
年终的时候我参加了5000米比赛
At the end of the year, I entered the 5,000 meters.
而且我赢了
And I won.
真的很棒
It was awesome.
我爸用一个大大的拥抱环绕我
My dad wrapped me in a big hug
告诉我他为我骄傲
and said he was proud of me.
那就是个我和我爸之间发生过的很棒的故事没有其他人了
That's just a great story that happened between me and my dad and nobody else.
我们死定了结束了
We're dead. It's over.
那就是我的故事
That's my story.
我走之前我想请上台一位特殊的嘉宾
Before I go, I want to bring up a special guest.
一位今天非常支持我非常酷的人
Somebody who's been very supportive and mega-cool today.
Leslie Knope 你要上台来吗
Leslie Knope, will you come up here?
什么 - 来吧上来
What? - Come on. Come up here.
去去去上去
Go, go, go. Do it.
你们知道 Leslie今天引起了很多争议
You know, Leslie's been getting a lot of heat today.
但我想让你们都知道我们单独聊过了
But I want you all to know that we talked person-to-person,
而她真的很棒
and she's really great.
人们不应该对她那么严厉
People should stop being so mean to her.
实际上如果你们明天不给我投票的话应该给她投票
In fact, if you don't vote for me tomorrow, you should vote for her.
因为她是个超级超级棒的女士
Because she's super, super awesome lady.
Leslie 我们做到了耶
Leslie, we did it! Yeah!
或许我们还没死呢
Maybe we're not dead.
Chris 对吧嗨我是Jen
Chris, right? Hi. I'm Jen.
你好
Hello.
你知道这房♥子里有30间卧室
You know, there are 30 bedrooms in this house.
Bobby占了一间还有一间里有个死人
Bobby's in one. There's a dead guy in another.
其他的都空着呢
The rest are free.
你怎么说
What do you say?
哦
Oh.
那挺好的
That is very flattering.
但你是对手的竞选经理
But you're the opposition campaign manager.
我不能对Leslie那么做
I couldn't do that to Leslie.
哦我了个苍天啊 Chris 竞选结束了
Oh, for God's sake, Chris. This campaign is over.
我的工作完成了你的也是只是做♥爱♥而已