公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation S04E01
Part 3
Jan. 27, 2024, 11:47 a.m.
We've attacked this from all angles.
要么你不参与竞选--
Either you don't run for office--
这个根本不可能
Which is out of the question.
要么你和他分手 避免可能的丑闻
Or you break up with him and avoid a potential scandal.
你需要看吗 - 不用 都是鸡而已
Do you need to get that? - No, it's just penises.
Leslie 我也不希望你和他分手
Leslie, I don't want you to break up with him either.
没有其他办法了 - 是啊
There's just no other way. - Yeah.
就表现得直接坦诚
Just be direct and honest.
好 - 好
Okay. - Okay.
嗯
Hmm.
是Muncie的整个保洁部门
It's the entire Sanitation Department from Muncie.
恶
Ooh.
你想喝点酒开始吗
Would you like any wine to start?
是的 我想表达得直接和坦诚
Yes, and I'm gonna be direct and honest with you.
我想要一杯红酒 要最便宜的
I would like a glass of red wine and I'll take the cheapest one you have
因为我喝不出来区别
because I can't tell the difference.
我也是 - 好的
I'll have the same. - Great.
好的 情况是这样的 - 好
Okay. Here's the deal. - Okay.
我真的 真的很喜欢你 - 我也喜欢你
I really, really like you. - I like you too.
我想我知道你要说什么
And I think I know what you're gonna say.
我强烈怀疑 - 我觉得我知道
I highly doubt that. - I think I do.
哦 我不 - 然后 嗯...
Oh, I don't. - And, um...
我准备了点东西 - 不 这是什么啊
I got you something. - No. What is this?
是珠宝吗 - 不是 打开就行
Is this jewelry? - It's not, just open it.
不 哦 我需要去...
No. Oh, I need to go to...
另一个地方
Another place.
我要去洗手间-- 呼啸山庄
I'm gonna go to the bathroom-- the Whiz Palace,
我们这里喜欢这么叫--
as we like to call it here--
然后我会回来的 然后我不会溜走的
and I'm going to be back and I'm not gonna split.
我在这等你因为我们需要聊点事情
I'm here for you because we need to talk about stuff.
好吗 - 行吧
Okay? - All right.
等等--
Wait--
禁止进入
Ron - 你来这里干什么
Ron. - What are you doing here?
逃避我的问题
Running away from my problems.
进来吧
Come on in.
所以 现在是这么回事 - 我没问
Ok, so here's what's going on. - I didn't ask.
周五 我应该要宣布我参与市议会选举
Friday, I'm supposed to announce that I'm running for City Council,
而我还没告诉Ben
and I haven't told Ben yet.
我知道我说了我们分手了 但我们做不到
I know I said that we broke up, but we couldn't.
我们还在约会
We're still dating.
但现在我真的要和他分手了
But now I have to break up with him for real,
但我不想和他分手
but I don't wanna break up with him
因为他太可爱了 他太好了
because he's so cute. He's so nice.
如果你要呆在这 有三条需要遵守的规矩
If you're gonna stay here, there are three rules you need to follow.
第一 不准聊Tammy一号♥ 第二 不准聊Ben
One, no talk about Tammy one. Two, no talk about Ben.
第三 不准聊天
Three, no talk.
我昨晚都没问你呢
I didn't even ask you last night.
Tammy一号♥是什么情况
What is going on with Tammy one?
你刚刚违反了规则一和三
You just violated rules number one and three.
你失去你的咖啡特权了
You lose your coffee privileges.
哦
Oh.
啊 你选吧 Knope 打猎 捕鱼 还是喝酒
Oh, you choose, Knope-- hunting, fishing, or drinking?
我现在真的想打枪啊
I'd really love to shoot a gun right now.
那就钓鱼了
Fishing it is.
即刻生效 所有男性雇员
And so effective immediately, all male employees
必须停止向Perkins小姐发送暴露照片
must stop sending explicit photos to Ms. Perkins.
我想问 如果基于经验证据
If I may, what if based on empirical evidence,
我真心相信有急需处理的严重医疗紧急情况呢
I truly believe there's a grave and immediate medical emergency?
如果是那样的话 我能给你看我的屌♥吗
Were that the case, could I then show you my dong?
不行
No.
那样是骚扰 - 很公平
That would be harassment. - Fair enough.
现在是完全不同的状况
Now completely different scenario.
我们假设我看了一大堆女子高尔夫
Let's say I've been watching a lot of women's golf
然后喝了点酒--
and I've had some wine--
要不这样吧
How about this?
我请个男医生进来给你们拍点片子
I'm gonna get a male doctor to come in and do some screenings.
完美
Perfect.
以防万一 我给你发点照片
Just as a backup, I'm sending you some photos.
那就没有必要了 - 那条是我发的
That will not be necessary. - That's me.
崭新的一天 崭新的商品
Brand-new day, brand-new merch.
我给你们搞了点超棒的娱乐7二〇玩艺儿
I got you guys some awesome Entertainment720 stuff.
Donna 这是给你的
Donna, this is for you.
娱乐7二〇雨伞
Entertainment720 umbrella.
娱乐7二〇苍蝇拍
Entertainment720 fly swatters.
印着我的脸的魔方
Rubik's cube with my face on it.
*薄荷糖哦*
♪ Breath mints ♪
壁炉鼓风
Fireplace bellows.
然后...鼓点声起
And... drum roll please.
鼓点音效钥匙扣
Drum roll sound effect key chain.
你不是该在新公♥司♥工作吗 Tom
Shouldn't you be working at your new company, Tom?
我在工作啊 April
I am working, April.
我在建立高层次的人际网络
I'm making high-level network contacts.
演员 《纽约娇妻》主演
你觉得Bethenny Frankel整天都坐在桌子旁边吗
You think Bethenny Frankel sits behind a desk all day?
她每年赚一个亿 你每年赚多少
She makes $100 million a year. How much you make a year?
1.01个亿
$101 million.
嗯我 作为本人 很高兴见到Tom
Well, I, for one, am happy to see Tom.
谢了 Jerry
Thanks, Jerry!
给 拿把伞 来点口香糖
Here. Have an umbrella and some breath strips.
哇
Whoa.
好了 聊够了 各位
All right, enough chitchat, everyone.
请回去工作吧 - 你不是我们的老板啊
Please get back to work. - You're not our boss.
你刚刚对我说什么 - 女士
What'd you just say to me? - Ma'am.
所以...你考虑过我的邀请了吗
So... did you get a chance to think about my offer?
是啊 关于你说的我想了很多
Yeah, I've been thinking a lot about what you said.
我想实现我的梦想 我只是不觉得我的梦想
I wanna do my dreams, but I just don't think my dream
是给一个在东西上印商标的公♥司♥工作
is working for a company that puts logos on stuff.
这不是我们公♥司♥做的事情
That's not my company does.
虽然 可能我们也会开始这样
Although, maybe we'll start.
嘿 你怎么觉得
Hey, what you think?
Donna 看起来太棒了
Donna... that looks great.
没有这个我也行的
I could do without this one.
所以参加竞选是吧
So running for office.
现在我得找个替代你的人选了
Now I'm gonna have to find a replacement for you.
我可能不会赢的 - 你会赢的
I might not win. - You'll win.
我可能不会参选 - 你该去
I might not run. - You should.
我们怎么计划呢 Knope
What's our plan here, Knope?
我觉得我们生个火 把打来的鱼烤了
I figure we build a fire, roast the fish we shot,
然后做点烤棉花糖
and make s'mores.
我没有烤棉花糖的材料
I don't have the material for s'mores.
我有
I do.
我车里永远都有应急烤棉花糖的配给
I always carry emergency s'more rations in my car.
根据你的打猎能力和我的巧克力供应
Given your hunting abilities and my chocolate supply,
我觉得我们可以在这呆个两...三年
I figure we could stay up here for two... three years.
你知道吗 我12岁的时候
You know, when I was 12,
我弟拿一把钉子枪射中了我的小脚趾
my brother shot me in the pinky toe with a nail gun.
虽然 这是个很好笑的恶作剧
Granted, it was a hilarious prank,
我们也笑得很开心
and we all had a good laugh.
那也太糟糕了
That's awful.
但我一直不去看医生
But I avoided going to the doctor.
我讨厌填表
I hate paperwork.
几周之后 那根脚趾就掉了
After a few weeks, the toe just kinda fell off.
你只有九根脚趾吗
You only have nine toes?
我该有的脚趾都有
I have the toes I have.
不必深究了
Let's just leave it at that.
重点是医生说如果我当时就来看
The point is the doctor said if I had come in right away,
他们可能能把脚趾留住
they might've saved the toe.
你不能逃避你的问题
You can't run away from your problems.
尤其是你只有九根脚趾的时候
Especially if you only have nine toes.
对不起 这句没必要
Sorry. That was uncalled for.
我是Ron Swanson 你是Leslie他妈的Knope
公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation
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