公园与游憩（2009）

Parks and Recreation S04E11

Part 2 Jan. 27, 2024, 11:48 a.m.

Akash 兄弟我当然是先来找你啦
Akash, buddy, of course I came to you first.
你是Pawnee最好的地毯人
You're the best carpet man in Pawnee.
但我的问题是--
But here's my question--
你的地毯和窗帘配套吗
Do your carpets match your drapes?
"你的阴毛和头发同色吗"
如何在预算紧张的情况下让任何活动上档次
How do you make any event classy on a budget?
红毯
Red carpet.
我整个公♥寓♥都是红毯
My entire apartment is red carpet.
在那之上通向我的卧室
On top of that, leading into my bedroom,
是第二层红毯
a second red carpet.
哦我鞋里这是什么
Oh, what's this in my shoe?
红毯鞋垫
Red carpet insole.
不论我去哪儿我都走在红毯上
Everywhere I go, I'm walking on red carpet.
真的有空间坐得下所有人吗
Is there even enough room for everyone?
来坐我腿上 - 不那太丢脸了
Here, sit on my lap. - No, that's humiliating.
至少让我坐在Andy腿上吧
Can't I at least sit on Andy's lap?
不那是冠军的位置他占了
No, that's Champion's spot. He called it.
Tom 我们已经迟到了
Tom, we're already late.
现在像个男人一样坐在那个女孩子腿上
Now, be a man, and sit on that girl's lap.
是的长官
Yes, sir.
嗨我是Pete Disellio
Hi, Pete Disellio.
我们可以叫你手♥枪♥ 对吧
We can call you Pistol, right?
我更喜欢Pete
I prefer Pete.
哦好吧知道了我是Leslie Knope
Oh. Okay, got it. I'm Leslie Knope.
我们在Pawnee中心高中一起上过一年
We overlapped a year at Pawnee Central.
你可能在早间广播里听过我的声音
You probably remember my voice from the morning announcements.
这是我的竞选经理 Ann Perkins
This is my campaign manager, Ann Perkins.
嗨很高兴见到你进来吧
Hi, nice to meet you. Come on in.
哦谢谢
Oh, thanks.
我来这里很激动 - 啊我们邀请到你也很激动
I'm excited to be here. - Ah! We're excited to have you.
Ann也太厉害了我的竞选团队势不可挡
Ann is killing it. My campaign team is unstoppable.
这次集♥会♥肯定会很棒的
This rally is going to be awesome.
哦天啊我的感觉来了
Oh, my God, I'm feeling it!
我要跳霹雳舞了
I'm gonna break dance!
Leslie
Leslie?
来了谢天谢地
Coming! Thank God.
哦冠军可比你亲得好多了宝贝
Oh, Champion is a way better kisser than you are, babe.
不啊 - 是的就是
Nuh-uh! - Yes, he is.
他甚至比我都亲得好来试试
He's even a better kisser than me. Here, try some.
够了停下他在我身上流口水了
Okay, stop it. He's drooling on me!
哦哦 - 这不安全
Oh, oh. - This is unsafe.
哦我们应该给孩子们拉两声
Oh, we should do it for the kids.
孩子们特喜欢 Ron 就给孩子们
Kids love it, Ron. Just for the kids.
嗨孩子们嘿
Hi, kids! Hey!
哦看啊连警♥察♥都喜欢他们在用警笛回应呢
Oh, look. The police even love it. They're sirening back to us.
那太棒了我要告诉他们我们听见了
That's awesome, I was going to tell them that we heard them.
听到你了兄弟
Heard ya, bud!
然后你就出场你灌个篮
And then, you come out, and you dunk the ball,
然后说 "投给Leslie Knope 稳如灌篮"
and you say, "Voting for Leslie Knope is a slam dunk!"
你还能灌篮对吧
You can still dunk, right?
哦我可以但我不会做的
Oh, I can, but I won't.
说什么
Sorry?
你们看不管我去哪儿
Look, everywhere I go,
所有人都想让我聊那次灌篮那场比赛
everybody wants me to talk about that dunk, and that game.
感觉我还是活在过去
It feels like I'm living in the past.
但过去很好啊吉特巴舞公共马车 Herman Munster
But the past is great. The jitterbug, stagecoaches, Herman Munster.
Herman Munster 吸血鬼喜剧《明斯特一家》的主角
听着 Leslie 我看过你的介绍
Look, Leslie, I read up on you.
你为我们的公园系统做了很多好事我很开心能给你背书...
You've done great stuff for our parks system and I will happily endorse you...
作为Peter Disellio Derwin火腿肉糕地区经销商但...
As Peter Disellio, regional distributor for Derwin ham loafs, but...
如果这是关于以前的我或者我17岁时做的事情
if this is about who I was, or what I did when I was 17,
那我就走了
I'm out of here.
我们不用再说灌篮的事了
Let's not talk about dunking anymore.
我们来说说你想做的事 - 好
Let's talk about what you want to do. - Okay.
我觉得你想灌篮
I think you want to dunk.
我不会灌篮的
I'm not going to dunk the ball.
那上篮怎么样
What about a layup?
警官我从8岁就开始操作重型机械了
Officer, I've been operating heavy machinery since I was eight years old.
现在我尊敬你和你为这个镇以及国家做出的服务
Now, I respect you and your service to this town and your country,
但我们具体犯了什么法呢
but what laws are we breaking exactly?
嗯你前排坐了四个人
Well, you got four people in the front seat,
没人系安全带
nobody's wearing a seat belt,
你在医院区域超速和鸣笛
you were speeding and blasting your horn through the hospital zone,
汽车的货仓开了掉出了残骸
the rear of the vehicle's open, debris has been falling out,
而且你没有开卡车的商业执照
and you don't have a commercial license to drive a truck.
好吧嗯我们对何为法律条文的构成具有不同的哲学理解
Okay. Well, we have a philosophical difference on what constitutes a law.
请您举起双手走下汽车好吗
I need to see your hands and could you step out of the vehicle, please?
嗨我只想跟你说我们要被逮捕了
Hi. I just wanted you to know we're about to be arrested.
哦天啊 April 那也太糟糕了
Oh my God, April, that's horrible.
你们在哪儿
Where are you?
"我妈屁♥股♥里" 真的吗帮上大忙了
"My mother's butt", really? That's really helpful.
让我来说
Let me talk to her.
April 我是市政厅候选人Leslie Knope
April, this is city council candidate Leslie Knope.
不要惹任何麻烦
Do not make any trouble.
坐稳了我现在过来
Sit tight. I'm on my way.
哇你刚刚挂了她电♥话♥吗 - 她已经挂掉我了
Whoa. You just hung up on her? - She'd already hung up on me.
好的我要过去把他们捞出来
Okay, I'm going to go down there and get them out,
因为制♥服♥男人们都爱我
because men in uniform love me.
你必须让手♥枪♥Pete投那个篮
You have to get Pistol Pete to make that shot.
好吧但如果我没做到也不是大事对吧
Okay, but if I don't, it's no big deal, right?
你直接演讲就好吗 - 他是我们的惊喜头条人物
You'll just make your speech? - He's our surprise headliner.
整个镇都爱他我支持率是1%了
The whole town loves him. I'm polling at 1%.
他必须灌篮 Ann
He must dunk, Ann.
不惜一切代价
Do whatever it takes.
你知道除了出♥卖♥♥♥肉体之外的任何事
You know, anything short of sexual favors.
什么 - 我没有
What? - I do not--
我重复我没有
I repeat, I do not
想让你用肉体来引诱他
want you to tempt him with sexual favors.
我也没准备 - 好的我也不会
I wasn't going to. - Good, I wouldn't either.
那就是我的底线
That's where I draw the line.
虽然你不愿意为我做我有点冒犯
Although, I am a little offended that you wouldn't do that for me.
走 - 好
Go. - Right.
所以 Ben...为什么是"披咋饺"
So, Ben...Why Calzone?
太高兴你问这个了 Chris
Glad you asked, Chris.
你知道有快餐汉堡
You know, there's fast food hamburgers.
有快餐墨西哥菜
There's fast food Mexican.
有快餐中餐之类之类之类的
There's fast food Chinese. Blah blah blah.
你想过为什么没有快餐意大利菜的选择吗
Have you ever wondered why there isn't a fast food option for Italian food?
披萨不是吗
What about pizza?
披萨没听说过
Pizza? Never heard of it.
这是人们20年后会说的
That's what people will be saying in 20 years,
因为披萨过时了 Chris
because pizza is old news, Chris.
披萨是你爷爷的披萨饺了
Pizza is your grandfather's calzone.
从没那么想过
Never thought of it that way.
我在说的是一种可携带的美味的食物
What I'm talking about is a portable, delicious meal,
是它自己的容器
that is it's own container.
这是意大利方便快餐的全新形式
It's a whole new spin on Italian fast casual dining.
太棒了
Amazing.
而你肯定比其他人更喜欢这个
And you of all people will like this.
我会用低脂原料
I'm gonna use low-fat ingredients.
革命性啊
Game-changer.
而我会把我的意大利快餐新馆子叫做
And I will call my new Italian fast casual eatery
"低卡批之披萨饺之角"
"The Low-cal Calzone Zone."
那个点子真的是我今生听到最好的点子了
That idea is literally the greatest idea I've ever heard in my life.
那个点子太烂了
That idea is terrible.
Glen 你是要搞死我啊
Glen, you're killing me.
他们违反了大概50条法律 Knope
They broke about 50 laws, Knope.
那个女孩子她试着让那条瘸子狗来咬我
And that girl, she tried to get that gimp dog to bite me.
你看我可以坐在这填完所有的表
Look, I could sit here and fill out all the paperwork,
但你和我都知道你宁愿回家去找Debra
but you and I both know that you'd rather go home to Debra,
吃一餐温馨的家庭便饭然后看看能自然发展成什么样
have a nice home-cooked meal, and do what comes naturally.