公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation S04E09
Part 3
Jan. 27, 2024, 11:48 a.m.
It was gonna be such an awesome moment.
道德委员会会议正在进行
所以 Ethel 你去过一百万场这种道德听证会了
So, Ethel, you've been to a million of these ethics hearings.
你觉得我胜算有多大 - 我说一半一半吧
What do you think my chances are? - I'd say it's 50/50.
你要是想赌钱的话 我赌你60/40
You want to put money on it, I'll give you 60/40 against.
法庭速记员赌听证会结果符合道义吗
Is it ethical for a court stenographer to bet on the outcome of a hearing?
你告诉我啊
You tell me.
你才是被审判的那个
You're the one on trial.
Ron Swanson请来证人席
Ron Swanson to the stand, please.
Swanson先生 有一个提出的问题
Mr. Swanson, there has been a question posed
是关于我和Ben Wyatt的关系何时结束的
about when my relationship with Ben Wyatt ended.
你能确认你有个小木屋 地址是
Can you confirm that you own a cabin
930-- - 啊
at 930-- - Ah!
请停下
Stop, please.
我不想把我的地址给任何人
I don't like to give out my address to anyone,
更不想被记在官方记录上
much less have it on an official record.
Ron 别太荒谬了 这很重要
Ron, don't be ridiculous. This is very important.
你有个小木屋在-- - 啊
Do you own a cabin-- - Ah!
9301 雪松顶--
9301 Cedarcrest Dr--
9301 雪松顶- - 哔
9301 Cedarcrest Dr-- - Beep!
我没听到
I didn't hear that.
9301 雪松顶路
9301 Cedarcrest Drive!
她来了
She's here.
谁来了
Who's here?
我前妻 Tammy二号♥
My ex-wife--Tammy two.
我可以闻到她的分趾之间散发出的硫磺味
I can smell the sulfur coming off her cloven hooves.
鼻子不错 Ron Tammy Swanson确实来了
Good nose, Ron. Tammy Swanson is here.
她是我下一个证人
She'll be my next witness.
Tammy二号♥是你的关键证人吗
Tammy two is your killer witness?
拜托了 你得要做得好一点--
Please! You're gonna have to do better--
实际上 她是个可怕的反♥社♥会♥者
Actually, she is a terrifying sociopath
可能会说或做任何事--
who could say or do anything--
一个挺好的关键证人
A pretty good killer witness.
Swanson女士 你真的 如你所称
Ms. Swanson, do you, as you claimed,
拿着可证明Leslie Knope和Ben Wyatt违法的证据吗
have evidence linking Leslie Knope and Ben Wyatt to law breaking?
当然
Absolutely.
我有几张照片
I have several photographs
能决定性地证明--
that will definitively prove--
我想提醒 你是宣誓过的
May I remind you that you are under oath,
如果你撒谎 我会开除你然后起诉
and if you lie, I will fire you and have you prosecuted.
没什么
Nothing.
它们能决定性地证明什么也没发生
They will definitively prove nothing.
你打断我了
You cut me off.
我可没有什么证据
I don't have any evidence.
哦 Chris-- 太淘气了
Oh, Chris-- so silly.
好了 拜 各位
Okay, bye, guys.
Leslie 审判开心哦
Leslie, have fun with this trial.
耶
Yay!
我觉得我证明了Ben和我违反的唯一一条规定
I think I've proven that the only rule Ben and I broke
就是和彼此约会
was dating each other.
而我也很开心没有揭露出
And I am very happy that I have not uncovered
任何不道德行为的附加证据
any additional evidence of unethical behavior.
但我-我还有最后一个证人--
But I-I do have one last witness--
公共工程部的George Williams
George Williams from Public Works.
George Williams 谁是--
George Williams? Who's--
哦 George Williams--
Oh, George Williams--
他就是个维护工人 喜欢NASCAR吧 我记得
He's just a maintenance worker, NASCAR enthusiast, I believe.
还有 哦 一条趣闻--
And, oh, interesting tidbit--
我曾经贿赂他对我和Ben的关系保密
I once bribed him to keep my relationship with Ben quiet.
你是说你看到Ben Wyatt和Leslie Knope
You're saying that you saw Ben Wyatt and Leslie Knope
在Li'l Sebastian的哀悼仪式上接吻吗
kissing at Li'l Sebastian's memorial?
S03E16 Li'l Sebastian
是的
Yeah!
你能在厅内认出Leslie Knope吗
Can you identify Leslie Knope in this chamber?
她就在那儿 - 就--
She's right there. - Right--
事件之后发生了什么呢
And what happened after this incident?
嗯 我很紧张
Well, I got real nervous.
S03E16 Li'l Sebastian
他们找到我 然后告诉我忘记我看的
They came up to me, and they told me to forget what I saw.
你刚刚看见的不是你想象的那个样子
What you saw was not what you think it is.
实际上 我有个礼品券 给你的
I have a gift certificate, actually, for you.
哦我的天
Oh, my God.
他们给了我一张$50的水疗礼品券然后说...
And then they gave me a $50 gift certificate to a spa and said...
也谢谢你的谨慎
And thank you for your discretion.
你用掉了吗 - 是啊
And did you use it? - Yeah.
我做了个脸
I got a facial.
我老婆说我的皮肤在发光
My wife said my skin was luminous.
够了
That's enough.
为了掩饰他们的不正当关系
Now, in order to cover up their illicit affair,
Ben Wyatt和Leslie Knope向一位市政♥府♥雇员行贿
Ben Wyatt and Leslie Knope bribed a city employee.
George 我注意到你戴了眼镜
George, I notice that you're wearing glasses,
而在问到的那天
yet on the day in question,
我不记得你带了眼镜
I don't recall you wearing glasses.
可能是因为你没有戴眼镜的原因吗
Could it be because you weren't wearing glasses?
我上班时从来不戴
I never wear 'em on the job.
请你摘下你的眼镜
Can you take your glasses off, please,
把这段话读出来
and read this for us?
"我要是不那么瞎就能读这个了"
"I could read this if I weren't so blind."
嗯 那进行得太可怕了
Well, that went terribly.
我需要检查一些事实和数据
I need to check some facts and figures.
我想请求55天的休庭
I would like to request a 55-day recess.
你可以休息30分钟
You can have 30 minutes,
但我们已经快结束了 Knope女士
but we're nearing the end here, Ms. Knope.
好的 伙计们 我唯一希望就是这些老书里面能有一本
Okay, guys, my only hope is that in one of these old books,
有什么奇怪的神秘条文或者政♥府♥规定能帮上我
there's some weird, arcane statute or government rule that helps me.
所以每个人拿一本 然后开始看
So everybody grab a volume, and let's just read up.
好吧 我的没有图
Okay, mine doesn't have any pictures.
道德委员会会议正在进行
有谁有什么吗 有人找到好东西吗
Does anyone have anything? Did anybody find anything good?
1856年 市政厅禁止了所有性♥爱♥姿势
In 1856, the city council banned all sexual positions
除了传教士式
except for missionary.
两年后 他们禁止了传教士式
And two years later, they banned missionary.
1882年 如果一个长老会教♥徒♥不按次序讲话
1882, should a presbyterian speak out of turn,
他可能会被杖击胫骨
he may be caned across the shinbone.
哦我的天
Oh, my God.
黑人还是不能合法使用市里的人行道
Black people still can't legally use city sidewalks.
听着 我知道我们不应该被看到在一起
Look, I know we're not supposed to be seen together,
但我觉得Ben在这件事上真的能帮忙的
but I think Ben could be really helpful with this.
有人能去找他吗 - 好吧 我去
Can somebody go get him? - All right, I'll go.
"任何被抓到在笑的女人都是巫婆"
"Any woman caught laughing is a witch."
确实是这样
That's true.
嗯 他不在那儿
Um, he's not there.
不 他说他就会在墙的另一边的
No, he said he'd just be on the other side of that wall.
他可能就在洗手间吧 - 好吧 我去找他
He's probably in the bathroom. - All right, I'll find him.
这幅壁画叫做"坏Pawnee 好Pawnee"
This mural is called Bad Pawnee, Good Pawnee.
所有镇上历史里发生的坏事在一边
All the terrible things that have happened in this town's history are on one side.
另一边是所有发生的好事
And on the other side are all the good things that have happened.
我在坏的一边
I'm on the bad side.
不 你不在 - 是的 我在 Ron
No, you're not. - Yes, I am, Ron.
我有罪 我做了坏事
I'm guilty. I did something bad.
我是个坏人
I'm a bad person.
没那么简单
It's not that simple.
你知道什么让好人是好人吗
You know what makes a good person good?
一个好人做了坏事 他们会坦白承认
When a good person does something bad, they own up to it.
他们试着学到什么 然后继续前进
They try to learn something from it, and they move on.
伙计们 所有人 别读了--
Guys, everybody stop reading--
不用找漏洞了 不用再反抗了
no more loopholes, no more fighting.
你确定吗 老板
Are you sure, boss?
是啊 我知道我让你们失望了
Yeah. I know I let you down.
我只想说真的很抱歉
And I just want to say I'm really sorry.
Leslie 你在说什么呢
Leslie, what are you talking about?
是啊 这让我更喜欢你了
Yeah, this makes me like you more.
贿赂一个人来隐瞒越轨行为--
公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation
剧集 | 公园与游憩（2009） | 导航列表