公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation S04E01
Part 4
Jan. 27, 2024, 11:47 a.m.
I'm Ron Swanson. And you're Leslie Fucking Knope.
你跟我一起吗
You with me?
那你的梦想是什么
Well, what is your dream?
显然是成为这个星球上最伟大的摇滚明星
It's to be the biggest rock star on the planet obviously.
但那可能还需要三到五年
But that could take another 3-5 years.
别误会
Don't get me wrong.
擦鞋已经是...一段激动的旅程了
Shoe shining has been a... been a pretty wild ride.
但可能还有什么是我能做的呢
But is it possible there's something more out there for me?
Andy 有一大堆是你能做的
Andy, there's tons of stuff you can do.
我会帮你想出来的
I'll help you figure it out.
真的吗 - 是的
Really? - Yes.
一年之后 你 Andy Dwyer 不会再是擦鞋匠了
One year from now, you, Andy Dwyer, will no longer be a shoe shinist.
Kyle 滚吧
Kyle, beat it.
我现在要和我老婆亲热了
I wanna make out with my wife now.
但你只擦了我一只鞋的一半
But you've only done half of one of my shoes.
行了 现在我啥也没做了
Here. Now I haven't done anything.
快走吧 孩子
Scram, kid.
你们好 - 嘿 Ron 欢迎-- - 停下
Hello. - Hey, Ron! Welcome-- - Stop.
第一件事
First order of business.
我保证Leslie她可以雇一位新助手
I promised Leslie I'd hire her a new assistant
这样她参与竞选的时候整个部门不会完全关门
so the department doesn't completely shut down while she runs for office.
你要参选了吗 - 是的 市议会
You're running for office? - Yeah, City Council.
Leslie 那太棒了 - 谢谢
Leslie, that is great. - Thank you.
你现在能保证不要加税吗
Will you pledge right now not to raise taxes?
我觉得这还太早了 - 不保证 不投票
I think that's premature. - No pledge, no vote.
重点是她需要一个助手
The point is she needs an assistant.
开始打听一下-- - 用Andy吧
Start asking around-- - Hire Andy.
Andy可以做 - 当然 是啊
Andy can do it. - Sure, yeah.
搞定
Done.
Andy 你现在是Leslie的新助手了
Andy, you are now Leslie's assistant.
亲爱的啊
Honey.
不--
No--
Leslie 我会为你倾尽全力的
Leslie, I'm gonna work my ass off for you.
你说什么我就做什么 我会证明自己
I'll do anything you ask me. I will prove myself.
你都不用付我工资
You don't even have to pay me.
不 亲爱的 别
No, honey, no.
明天 会有一本300页的新人手册
Tomorrow, there will be a 300-page orientation booklet
还有一打按照你脸型做的手工饼干
as well as a dozen homemade cookies in the shape of your face.
但今天...
But today...
我还有其他事情要做
There's something else I have to do.
如果你们哪位还需要什么 太可惜了
If any of you need anything at all, too bad.
像成年人一样解决你们自己的问题
Deal with your problems yourselves like adults.
我会呆在我的办公室 等着Tammy一号♥
I'll be in my office, waiting for Tammy one.
你需要我找她吗
You want me to find her?
没必要 她会找到我的
There's no need. She'll find me.
她有着猎犬的侦察能力和体味
She has the tracking ability and body odor of a bloodhound.
今日 公共卫生检查
好的 你能保证一切都正常吗 你知道 那个地方
Okay, so now you're sure that everything is okay, you know, down there?
你非常的健康
You're perfectly healthy.
那个男人有我见过最大的阴♥茎♥
That man has the largest penis I have ever seen.
我甚至都不知道他是不是有腮腺炎
I actually don't even know if he has mumps.
忘了看
Forgot to look.
我被分心了 被我见过的 最大的 阴♥茎♥
I was distracted by the largest penis I have ever seen.
我知道最近我表现得很奇怪
I know I've been acting really weird lately,
然后 嗯 我真的喜欢你
and, um, I really like you.
我要说的会和我真的喜欢你这一点起冲突
What I'm about to say is gonna contradict the idea that I really like you,
但那不会改变--
but that won't change--
我知道 所以打开盒子就好
I know. So just open the box.
别把这个盒子拿出来 好吗
Please stop bringing out the box, okay?
Leslie-- - 你真的很好
Leslie-- - You're being really nice,
而我准备要说的会让你讨厌我的
and what I'm about to say is gonna make you hate me.
好吧 那我为你把盒子打开吧
Okay, then I'll just open the box for you.
哇
Wow.
你知道了
You knew?
我一阵子之前就明白了
I figured it out a while ago.
对不起 我应该告诉你我知道的
I'm sorry. I should've told you I knew.
但我就--我希望这种状态维持得越久越好
But I just--I wanted this to last as long as possible.
我们必须分手
We have to break up.
为什么 为什么我们必须分手啊
Why? Why do we have to break up?
嗯 Leslie 你所完成的一切
Well, Leslie, everything you've accomplished,
都是你自己努力工作挣来的
you have earned and you have worked for.
我不希望任何人觉得你到现在的位置
I don't want anyone to think that you got where you are today
是因为睡了你的老板
by sleeping with your boss.
但我真的喜欢睡我的老板
But I really like sleeping with my boss.
是啊... 是啊
Yeah... Yeah.
好吧 那这样 我把这个简单化吧
Okay, look. I'm gonna make this real easy for you.
嗯 不是你的问题 是我 我还没准备好承诺什么
Um, it's not you, it's me. I'm not ready for a commitment.
我就不喜欢你了
I just don't like you anymore.
我知道这很难听 但是...
I know it's hard to hear that, but...
你很无聊 坦白说让我恶心
You're boring, and frankly you disgust me.
恶
Echh!
你是怎么发现的呢
How did you figure it out?
Leslie 女士游艇俱乐部里有个男的
Leslie, there was a dude in the ladies' yacht club.
是啊 但我掩饰得挺好的啊
Yeah, but I covered that pretty well.
而且 你睡着的时候也在讲竞选演讲
Also, you've been making campaign speeches in your sleep.
的确 你一直都这样 但它们开始变得很具体 也很动人
Granted, you always do that, but they got really specific and moving.
我的开场白怎么样
Did I have a good opening line?
很简单 但是我喜欢
It was simple, but I liked it.
朋友们 来宾们 Pawnee人们
Friends, honored guests, Pawneeans.
我是Leslie Knope 我将参选市议会
I am Leslie Knope, and I am running for City Council.
你好 Tammy - Ronald
Hello, Tammy. - Ronald.
闲聊够了 你想要什么
That's enough small talk. What do you want?
你记得我是做什么工作的吧 我相信
You remember what I do for a living, I trust?
是的 你毁掉人们的生活
Yes. You ruin people's lives.
你被审计了 Ronald
You're being audited, Ronald.
我不在乎
I don't care.
那为何你的胡子在颤抖呢
Then why is your mustache trembling?
我是以朋友的名义来的
I'm here as a friend.
就算是怀旧吧
Call it nostalgia.
或者可能是每一次我试着在你睡着时掐死你的罪恶感
Or perhaps guilt for all the times I tried to smother you in your sleep.
我不需要你的帮助 - 错了 你需要
I don't need your help. - Wrong. You do.
但就像你喜欢说的一样 这是个自♥由♥的国家
But as you're so fond of saying, it's a free country.
祝你好运
Good luck.
我希望你别进监狱
I hope you don't go to jail.
坐直了 这样对你的胸没有任何好处
Sit up straight. You're not doing your breasts any favors.
谢谢
Thank you.
亲爱的 你的胸也太好看了
Honey. Your breasts look amazing.
公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation
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