公园与游憩（2009）

Parks and Recreation S04E19

Part 4 Jan. 27, 2024, 11:48 a.m.

哦我知道
Oh, I know.
我是说在更大的层面上谁在乎呢
I mean, in the grand scheme of things, who cares?
我们都只是分子
We're all just molecules,
以随机的模式漂浮着...
floating around in random patterns...
全无意义
Devoid of meaning.
嗯来日方长了
Well, I'll see you when I see you.
我是一颗滚石
I'm a rolling stone.
回见 - 停下
Peace. - Stop.
坐下
Have a seat.
我们试过你的方式了现在我们要以我的方式来
We did things your way, now we're gonna do it my way.
准备好体验真正的自♥由♥和极乐吧
Prepare to experience true freedom and bliss.
哦或者我就该回去做一名全职护士
Oh, maybe I should just go back to being a nurse full-time.
不我不会让你回到给香肠剃毛
No, I will not let you return to a life of shaving wieners
和躲开毒虫飞刀的生活的
and dodging knife attacks from meth heads.
是哦好吧你要怎么做呢
Right. Okay, what are you gonna do?
嗯要么你被开除公园部预算收缩
Well, either you get fired, the Parks budget shrinks,
要么动物收♥容♥所♥要消失
or the animal shelter's gotta go.
或者我们在其他地方找到钱
Or we find money somewhere else.
好吧 Leslie 已经没有其他地方了
Okay, Leslie, there is nowhere else.
这是个镇预算不是一个深不见底的信托基金
This is a town budget, not a bottomless trust fund.
好吗
Okay?
钱不会凭空冒出来的 - 嘘闭嘴
Money doesn't just appear out of nowhere. - Shh. Stop talking.
啥 - 嘘
What? - Shh.
怎-- - 我有半个主意我正在组织
What do-- - I have half an idea and I'm putting it together.
好吧 - 嘿
Okay. - Hey!
你想... - 别
Do you wanna... - Heh.
我... - 不
I'm... - No!
你... - 嗯嘘
Do you... - Unh. Shh.
好吧现在我有一个完整的主意了
Okay, now I have a complete idea.
Ben 我要实施政♥治♥自杀
Ben, I'm going to commit political suicide.
嘿是我 Tommy
Hey, it's me. Tommy!
嗨 - 我不在这
Hi! - I'm not here.
April
April.
对着我曾曾曾祖母的坟墓发誓
Swear on my great-great-grandmother's grave
我不在这
I'm not here.
我要进来一会儿了
I'm gonna come in for a second.
你能就别来烦我吗
Can you just leave me alone?
为啥这么颓小甜梅
Why so glum, sugar plum?
呃我不知道啊
Um, I don't know.
可能是因为我那么努力搞那个宠物领养
Maybe because I worked so hard on that dumb pet adoption
结果失败了
and I failed.
所以努力工作真的很蠢
That's why it's stupid to work hard.
让我给你看点东西
Let me show you something.
因为你这么努力工作
Because you worked hard,
这个穿得太糟糕的小姑娘有只小狗狗了
this little terribly-dressed girl has a puppy.
而这只小狗狗有了个家
And this little puppy has a home.
如果Leslie教会我任何东西就是是的
If Leslie's taught me anything, it's that yes,
98%的时间这份工作很让人泄气
98% of the time, this job is frustrating
而且你会遇到各种阻碍
and you hit brick walls.
但另外的2% 就是类似这个孩子的情况
But the other 2%, it's stuff like this kid.
还有那条小狗狗
And that puppy.
啥...那张照片是啥
What... what is that photo?
那应该是预先加载的还是怎么样的吧
That must come preloaded in there or something.
哦我的天 - 明天见吗
Oh, my God. - See you at work tomorrow?
好吧
Fine.
好嘞
All right.
拜狗狗们拜小猪猪们
Bye, pups! Bye, little piggies!
我通常不用黑暗的酒精毒害自己的身体
I don't usually poison my body with dark alcohol,
但这威士忌也...太优秀了
but this whiskey is... excellent!
这是神之甘露啊
Nectar of the gods.
嗯我该回办公室了
Well, I should get back to my office.
当我还有办公室的时候
As long as I have one.
Chris 我不是那种人会积极思考或者具象化或者冥想
Chris, I'm not one for positive thinking or visualization or meditation
或者真的任何你相信的那个世界里的东西
or really anything in the world that you believe in.
但你可能该考虑失去工作的优势
But you might consider the upside of losing your job.
比如说呢
For example?
你不会再是一个政♥府♥的寄生虫了
You would no longer be a government parasite,
吸干诚实苦干的人♥民♥的命血
sucking the lifeblood from honest, hardworking people.
反而你像一个人那样对社会做出贡献
Instead, you'd contribute to society like a man.
那就是可能会很好的其中一种方式
That's just one way it might be good.
我很确定有其他的
I'm sure there are others.
我很确定会有
I'm sure there are.
啊哦你们看起来很严肃啊议程上有什么
Uh-oh. You look serious. What's on the agenda?
只有一项 Jennifer
Just one item, Jennifer.
你要宣布
You're going to announce
Bobby Newport要使用他的个人财产拯救动物收♥容♥所♥
that Bobby Newport will use his personal fortune to save the animal shelter.
不行不那...
No. No, that's...
那是呃...
that's, um...
那是个很好的主意啊
that is a great idea.
实际上我不知道为什么我还没想到这个
In fact, I don't know why I hadn't thought of it already.
该死该死
Damn it. Damn it!
我发誓这个镇的空气在杀死我的脑细胞
I swear the air in this town is killing my brain cells.
实际上这里的水对你也不好
Actually, the water's not good for you either.
你不该喝自来水的
You shouldn't drink the tap water.
没人跟你说过吗
Has anyone told you that yet?
作为交换别再放小狗杀手广♥告♥了
In exchange, no more puppy killer ads
在竞选余下的阶段里
for the rest of the campaign.
我们只要求这些 - 好吧
That's all we ask. - Okay.
嗯那我要是付收♥容♥所♥的钱又继续放广♥告♥呢
Well, what's to stop me from just paying for the shelter and still running the ads?
我告诉Pillner议员
Because I told councilman Pillner
如果你不同意我们的条件
that if you don't agree to our terms,
他就该砍掉公园部的预算
he should cut the Parks budget.
而我们会放消息说是Leslie的决定
And we'll leak that it was Leslie's decision
让她表现得强韧和公平
making her seem tough and fair,
以她牺牲自己老部门的行为
what with sacrificing her old apartment.
好吧那对你们有什么好处
Okay, what's in it for you?
一个给动物们的安全家园一份给我朋友的工作
A safe home for the animals, a job for my friend,
和一个完整的公园部预算
and a full Parks budget.
我不是第一天出来混的
I wasn't born yesterday.
你们肯定有个角度啊这对我们来说是全垒打啊
You've gotta have an angle. This is a home run for us!
我们会统治新闻一整周的
We're gonna dominate the news cycle for a whole week.
嗯你们可以有这周我们只要下周
Well, you can have this week. We'll take the next one.
哦是吗你们怎么这么确定呢
Oh, yeah? What makes you so sure?
因为一周之后我们就要辩论了
Because in a week, we have a debate.
而你们家的Bobby Newport必须要出场
And your guy Bobby Newport is gonna have to show up,
而他必须要张开嘴巴说话
and he's gonna have to open his mouth.
而我会把他打得屁滚尿流的
And I'm gonna kick his ass.
她来买♥♥单我们下周见
She'll take care of that. See ya next week!
我的伙伴怎么样啦刚刚买♥♥了这个
How's my best buddy? Just bought this.
颅骨棋盘是个棋类游戏你听说过吗
Cranium. It's a board game. Have you heard of it?
这真的是让我最开心的东西
It is literally the most fun I have ever had.
你觉得如何下班之后
What do you say, after work,
你我威士忌冰草颅骨棋盘
you, me, whiskey, wheatgrass, Cranium?
Ron - Chris
Ron? - Chris?
抱歉他在冥想
Sorry, he's meditating.
他让我告诉任何进来的人
He asked me to tell anyone who comes in
他希望保持不被打扰
that he wishes to remain undisturbed
所以能更好地净化他的头脑空间
so as to better clarify his head space.
哦天 Ron 我很抱歉
Oh, God, Ron. I am so sorry.
我让你继续
I'll let you get at it.