公园与游憩（2009）

Parks and Recreation S04E16

Part 3 Jan. 27, 2024, 11:48 a.m.

你好啊 Jerry
Hello, Jerry.
Jerry 你为啥叫我们进来啊
Jerry, why did you call us in here?
嗯因为我以为你是Gayle啊
Well, because I thought you were Gayle.
你们来我浴室干什么啊
What are you doing in my bathroom?
是啊 Leslie 我们来Jerry的浴室干什么呢
Yes, Leslie, what are we doing in Jerry's bathroom?
有个只有你能帮我们解决的公园部紧急事件
There is a Parks emergency that only you can help us solve,
所以我们需要你从浴缸里出来
so we need you to get out of the tub.
我们走了
Let's get going.
哦-好吧哎呀我-- 我得先穿衣服
O-okay, jeez--w-- I gotta get dressed.
不没时间了 - 有时间的 Jerry
No, there's no time. - There's time, Jerry.
穿衣服吧
Get dressed.
好吧这个大紧急事件是什么啊
Okay, well, what is the big emergency?
哦我们又有老年人在森林里走丢了吗
Oh, did we lose more seniors in the woods?
不是个污水坑对吧
No, it's a sinkhole, right?
屎了个弹弓的
Crap on a catapult.
他们搞砸了我的竞选标牌
They screwed up my campaign signs.
现在我得处理这个了
Now I gotta deal with this.
好吧那污水坑怎么办
Okay, but what about the sinkhole?
别担心 Leslie可以处理这个还有污水坑
Don't worry, Leslie will deal with this and the sinkhole.
对吧 Leslie
Right, Leslie?
是的 Ron 我会的 Ron
Yes, Ron. I will, Ron.
而且我会沉着处理的
And I shall do it with aplomb.
Tom出了什么鬼问题啊
What the hell is wrong with Tom?
不知道
Don't know.
就像我约会的是个白♥痴♥游戏节目主持
It's like I'm dating some idiotic game show host.
他在用这些蠢问题把我整疯
He is driving me crazy with these stupid questions.
嗯很快就无所谓了
Well, soon it won't matter.
为啥他跟你说了啥
Why? What did he tell you?
没
Nothing.
等等他要跟我分手了是吧
Wait, is he gonna break up with me?
我不知道我--
I don't know. I'm--
不不不不不不不不不
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No.
不能这么结束好吧
That's not how this ends, okay?
我会和他分手
I break up with him.
我觉得我要以这一瓶来庆祝了
I think I will celebrate with a drink.
别拉了
Quit pulling.
好吧我把你链子解开
Fine, I'll let you off the leash.
Andy - 搞什么啊大哥
Andy. - What the [Bleep], dude?
你从哪出来的 - 我觉得冠军应该被拴着
Where did you come from? - I think that Champion should stay on his leash.
这里有不熟悉的地形和奇怪的味道
There's unfamiliar terrain and strange smells.
不狗链是为咬人的狗准备的
No, leashes are just for dogs that bite people.
不是这样的
That's not true.
Chris 冠军是我的狗好吧
Chris, Champion's my dog, okay?
他哪也不会去的
He's not going anywhere.
有时候你就只能让狗做条狗
Sometimes you just have to let a dog be a dog.
他会没事的
He'll be all right.
冠军
Champion!
他会回来的
He'll come back.
科学教牌
所以你能想象我们永远不会订制一个说这些复杂胡话的牌子
So as you can imagine, we would never have ordered a sign with all this complicated nonsense
因为你知道我们没疯
because, you know, we're not insane.
看到预订单上的这里吗
See right here on the order form?
这上面说 "http://"-- - 嗯哼
It says, "http://"-- - Mm-hmm.
"www.knope2012" - 我能读标牌的
"www.knope2012"-- - I can read the sign.
是这样的 - ".com/imagescmy"--
It does. - ".com/imagescmy"--
嗯但这不是我-- - "k/campaign/qty100123--"
well, but this isn't what-- - "k/campaign/qty100123--"
你不用全部读完的 - "9u/09230023"-- - 嗯哼
You don't need to read the whole thing. - "9u/09230023"-- - Mm-hmm.
"099twposter"--
"099twposter"--
确实是这么说的 - ".jpe g"
it does say that. - ".jpe g".
Jpeg 是的 Walter 确实是这么写的
Jpeg. Yes, Walter, it does say that.
你是对的但是使用基本的逻辑和人类智慧
You're right, but using basic logic and human intelligence,
一个人可以推测这是一张图片的链接
one can surmise that this is a link to an image.
这不是我们想在标牌上印的东西
This isn't what we wanted printed on the signs.
预订单上打的什么我就印什么
Whatever's on the order form I print.
这一次是一长串有字母和数字的字串
In this case, it was a long string of letters and numbers.
我能就--给你看点东西吗你看
Can I just sh--show you something here? There you go.
这非常不符合规定
That's highly against protocol.
嗯来了你看
Well, here, look.
这是个好标牌啊
That's a good sign.
你应该用这个的
You should've used that.
你告诉April你要和我分手了吗
You told April you were breaking up with me?
Ann 我们持续在"谁穿得好"的问题上意见不统一
Ann, we consistently disagree on "who wore it best."
你还在用iPad 1
You still use an iPad one.
你一直都在读书
You read books all the time.
好吧那我给你的"哦不不"呢
Okay, how about my "oh-no-nos" for you?
你让我看烂片然后你还沿途解说
You make me see terrible movies, and then you talk through them.
你在你的大众高尔夫上放20寸的轮毂
You put 20" rims on your Volkswagen Golf,
而且你坚持要被介绍为"棕色高斯林"
and you insist on being introduced as "the brown Gosling."
你刚刚说的一切都让我更喜欢我
Everything you just said makes me like me more.
我忍♥不了了好嘛我要把你们分开
I can't take it any more, okay? I'm breaking you up.
你俩完蛋了
You guys are done.
我没问题啊 - 好好
Fine with me. - Fine, fine.
哦 April - 我喝醉了
Oh, April. - I'm drunk.
你让我喝醉你让我喝醉而你--
You made me drunk, you made me drunk, and you--
不不歇歇吧 - 我需要啊
No, no. Give it a rest. - I need it.
好吧 - 行啊
Okay. - Fine.
我们把你扶上♥床♥
Let's get you to bed.
你们为啥还要吵架啊太蠢了
You know, why are you guys even fighting anyway? It's so stupid.
"我因为这个蠢原因讨厌Ann"
"I hate Ann because of this stupid reason."
"而我因为这个蠢原因讨厌Tom" 谁在乎啊
"And I hate Tom for this stupid reason." Who cares?
需要帮忙吗 - 不我能搞定
You want some help? - No, I got it.
嗯我们都做到了 Ron
Well, we did everything, Ron.
我们做了新标牌放进了人们的院子里
We got new signs. We put them in people's yards.
我们接到Jerry去那个惊-- 污水坑紧急事件
We got Jerry for the surprise-- sinkhole emergency.
还有呃我们稍微没了个油然后我们走去加油站
And, uh, we briefly ran out of gas, and then we walked to the gas station.
我们搞到了汽油而现在我们都好了
We got more gas, and now we're all good.
是的你确实企图掌控全场
Yep, you truly are attempting to do it all.
谢谢你
Thank you.
我们没去药店拿我的护肝药啊
We didn't get to the drug store for my liver medication.
嗯我们把你拖出浴缸之前你应该想到的 Jerry
Well, you should've thought about that before we dragged you out of the bath, Jerry.
是啊
Yeah.
好吧等等
Okay, wait a second.
这显然不是个污水坑问题
This is clearly not a sinkhole problem.
发生什么了
What's going on?
Jerry 当我们打开这扇门
Jerry, as soon as we open this door,
一切就都清楚了
everything will become clear.
惊喜哦
Surprise!
哦什么鬼啊
Oh, what the [Bleep]?
惊喜
Surprise.
所有人都他妈去哪了
Where the hell is everybody?
嗯太晚了
Well, it got so late.
我们就不确定你们还会来了
We just weren't sure you were still coming.
所有人要不就睡了要不就出门找冠军了
Everybody's either in bed or out looking for Champion.
哦是的冠军跑掉了
Oh, yeah. Champion ran away.
把所有人叫醒
Wake everybody up.
Leslie - 不我不会让这一切崩溃掉的
Leslie. - No, I am not gonna let this fall apart.
我们要给Jerry办个超棒的甜蜜16岁惊喜派对
We are gonna throw Jerry an amazing Sweet 16 surprise party
不管这对我们所有人有多痛苦
no matter how agonizing it is for all of us.
就是这个精神了
That's the spirit.
冠军 - 冠军
Champion. - Champion!
冠军来吧孩子
Champion, come here, boy.
我给你准备了个有机的无麸质的大豆骨头
I have an organic, gluten-free soy bone for you.
冠军
Champion!
Chris 有件事我想跟你说
Chris, there's something I have to tell you.
我吃了一个你的大豆骨头 - 真的吗
I ate one of your soy bones. - Really?
是啊真的很好吃
Yeah, it was really good.
我准备给冠军吃的
I was gonna give it to Champion,
但它就-- 看起来太好吃了
but it just-- it looked so yummy.
重点是我是个太烂的狗主人
The point is, I'm a terrible dog owner.
而我觉得如果我们找到冠军你应该留着他
And I think, if we find Champion, you should keep him.
Andy 如果不是你和April