公园与游憩（2009）

Parks and Recreation S04E07

Part 3 Jan. 27, 2024, 11:47 a.m.

啊但不开玩笑
Ah, but all jokes aside.
我是个男孩子
I'm a boy.
Keith 我这份工作做了四年
Keith, I had this job for four years.
我可以跟你说你投入什么就得到什么
And I can tell you, you get out of it what you put into it.
你期望能得到什么
What are you hoping to get out of it?
"你希望什么时候走人"
大概一个月左右吧
In like a month or so.
什么 - 哦...什么
What? - Oh...What!
我希望从这份工作中得到什么吗
What am I hoping to get out of this job?
是啊
Yeah.
嗯就一...一个月的钱...
Yeah. Like one... one month of money...
就...就挺好的
Would be... would be just right.
我来给你假设个情况
Let me give you a situation.
你在给本地企业开一场市政厅会议
You're hosting a town hall meeting for local businesses.
呃...这太复杂了
Uh... That's so much stuff.
你就...一直在讲
You just, uh... kept on going.
那就是一件事啊
That was like one thing.
我还没说是什么情况呢
I didn't even get to the situation yet.
哦好吧
Oh! All right.
嗯谢了伙计们
Well, thanks, guys.
我觉得我们都见得足够了
I think we've all seen enough.
还是不太清楚我申请的是什么岗位
Still not totally sure what I'm applying for.
但...你问我的话感觉进展不错
But...if you ask me, I think it went pretty well.
我们需要关注的是如何毁灭秘鲁
What we need to focus on is how to destroy Peru,
特别是一个住在那里的人
specifically one person who lives there.
大使女士你要改变场景吗
Madame Ambassador, are you changing the scenario?
我们没准备这个啊
We didn't prepare for this.
世界政♥治♥会变化的场景会出现
Global politics can change, and scenarios can arise
然后突然你就像 "等等我以为这一件事
and suddenly you're just like, "wait, I thought this one thing,
"但看那边那是另一件事"
"but look over there. That's a different thing,
然后它改变了所有事" 然后我就 "啥"
and it's changing everything," and I'm like, "what?"
等等" 谁有坦克给我
Hold up." Who has tanks for me?
我-我很抱歉但...
I-I'm sorry, but...
我们还是要试着解决食物危机问题
We're gonna keep trying to solve the food crisis.
食物啥物这是战争
Food schmood. This is war.
天到你疯掉的时候了瑞士
God, it's time for you to nut up, Switzerland.
哎呀哎呀哎呀看看谁勇敢到
Well, well, well, look who is brave enough
来欧洲露脸了
to show his face in Europe.
只要你一个字 Leslie
Say the word, Leslie.
我把我的狮子军队粘他脸上
I'll stick my army of lions on him.
好吧看我觉得嗯...
Okay, look, I think, um...
这里有点开始失控了
Things are starting to get a little out of control here.
我同意你背叛了我
I agree. You betrayed me,
然后你在我背后操作现在你需要付出代价了
and you went behind my back, and now you need to pay.
我需要...我要付出代价是吧
I need to... I need to pay.
我结巴了吗
Do I stutter?
哦好吧很公平
Oh. Okay. Fair enough.
哦你知道吗你可能想要借用这个
Oh, you know what? You might wanna borrow this.
恶没人想要你的脏内♥裤♥ Ben
Ew, no one wants your dirty underwear, Ben.
这不是脏内♥裤♥ 这是面白旗
It's not dirty underwear. It's a white flag,
你可能就要开始挥舞它了...
and you may as well start waving it right now...
唯一我会挥舞的
the only thing I will be waving
是在你哭泣的妈面前插着你狗头的棍子
is your decapitated head on a stick in front of your weeping mother!
我的神啊
Good lord.
他们都是哑炮啊 Ron
They were duds, Ron.
真的无论谁都比今天面试的这堆人强
Really, anything would be better than the people we interviewed today.
我想你没错 Tom
I guess you're right, Tom.
我不会再找到一个你了
I'm not gonna find another you.
你是完美的
You were perfect.
能力足够到让老板们不来折腾我
Competent enough to keep the bosses off my back,
但足够自私到拖慢所有工作
but selfish enough to slow down all the work.
Tom Haverford可不会长在树上
Tom Haverfords don't grow on trees.
如果是那我就会卖♥♥
If they did, I'd sell 'em.
Tommy树树
Tommy trees.
你考虑回来吗
Would you consider coming back?
抱歉 Ron 做不到
Sorry, Ron. No can do.
我就像是条鲨鱼我不会游回头的
I'm like a shark. I don't swim backwards.
回见了哥们
See ya later, man.
我们在转基因植物技术上有了长足的进步
We've been making great strides with genetically modified crops
我们很开心能保证持续增长...
and would gladly pledge to continue the growth of...
打扰一下大使夫人
excuse me, Madame Ambassador.
打扰一下 - 我还没结束呢
Excuse me. - I'm not finished.
哦是么
Oh, really?
那为啥话筒在我手上了呢
Then why do I have the microphone?
我提议安♥理♥会♥正式谴责丹麦
I move that the Security Council formally condemn Denmark
并停止他们继续未经授权的侵略行为
and stop them from making any more unwarranted acts of aggression.
只要你不要扰乱大会秩序
As long as you quit derailing the conference.
非洲的人们正在饿死
People are dying of hunger in Africa.
哦关我鸟事啊
Oh, cry me a river.
所有同意决议的举手
All in favor of the resolution.
什么 - 哦有意思啊
What?! - Oh, that's interesting.
决议以绝大多数同意通过了
The resolution passes with flying colors.
丹麦被正式谴责了
Denmark is formally condemned.
砰
Bam!
那不是问题秘鲁
That's no problemo, Peru,
因为丹麦不再承认这个国际暴徒团体的权威
because Denmark no longer recognizes the authority of this international gang of thugs.
而历史不会对那些反对正义的人抱有善意
And history will be unkind to those who stand opposed to justice.
我们一起站出来...我请求你们所有人...
Together, we stand... and I ask all of you...
谁准备好加入意愿联盟
who is ready to join the Coalition of the Willing?
月亮会加入你的联盟
The Moon shall join your coalition.
耶我们他妈搞定月亮了
Yeah! We got the freaking moon.
你要是没了潮汐该咋办呢秘鲁
What are you gonna do without tides, Peru?
好吧我们不该处理假设的事情了
Okay. We need to stop dealing in hypotheticals.
Ann 我们约会过我们发生什么了
Ann, we dated. What happened to us?
真的吗你准备...来真的
Really? Do you... wanna get real?
当然听起来很好啊
Sure. Sounds like fun.
有时候你不间断的开心让人迷惑
Sometimes your relentless cheeriness is confusing.
就像我们去Eagleton那次拿到了有按♥摩♥浴缸的房♥间...
Like that time we went to Eagleton and we got that hotel room with the jacuzzi...
哦故事开始有看点了
Ooh, this just got real good!
然后浴缸坏掉了
And the jacuzzi broke.
但我确实...在你身上吃了东西
But I did... eat food off of your body.
哦不是吧 - 好的呢 Chris和Ann
Oh, come on. - All right, Chris and Ann!
我只想回去工作
I just wanna go back to work.
所以意愿联盟
So the Coalition of the Willing
是丹麦博茨瓦纳和月亮
is Denmark, Botswana, and the Moon.
三大巨头
The big three.
现在我们要这么做
Now, here's what we're gonna do.
Ben可能会在南非上岸寻求援助
Ben is probably shoring up his support in South America.
他那么做的时候我们要保证...
While he does that, we are gonna make sure...
注意了
Attention!
安♥理♥会♥决定将秘鲁和丹麦从联♥合♥国♥中驱逐
The Security Council has decided to expel Peru and Denmark from the United Nations.
大使夫人...为什么啊
Madame Ambassadeur... Pourquoi?
因为你们太烂了看看周围吧
'Cause you guys suck. Look around.
我们以为你们会教我们如何解决问题的
We thought you were gonna teach us how to solve problems.
你们毁了我最爱的社团太感谢了
You've ruined my favorite club. Thanks a lot.
我们赢了吗
Did we win?
我觉得我们赢了
I think we won!
我们准备干什么来着我今天学到了好多
What were we trying to do? I learned so much today.
我只想说
I just wanted to say
那边一切垮掉真的挺酷的
that I thought it was really cool how everything fell apart in there.
还有可能你该和Ben聊聊
And also, maybe you should talk to Ben.
不他很混♥蛋♥
No. He's being a jerk.
拜托了 Ben心烦的时候是个很糟糕的室友
Please? When Ben gets upset, he becomes a really bad roommate.
他会洗很久的澡让我迟到
He takes really long sadness baths and makes me late for stuff.
我讨厌这里
I hate it here.
等不及要毕业了
Can't wait to graduate.
是啊但夏天真的会很棒
Yeah, but summer's gonna totally kick ass.
所以你说我威胁到你了吗
So you're saying that I intimidated you?
不不是那么讲的 - 来吧
No. Not exactly. - Come on.
再说说你们都去的那家密宗工作坊
Talk more about that tantric workshop y'all went to.
我太喜欢你了好吗