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Modern Family S02E09

Part 3 Dec. 3, 2019, 1:08 p.m.

-看呀 -是什么
- Oh, look. - What?
你是全校最可爱的男生
"You're the cutest boy in school.
你将拥有一个美妙绝伦的夏天
You're gonna have an awesome summer.
亲亲布兰达
Smooches -- Brenda."
可怜的布兰达你将拥有一个
Oh, Brenda, you are about to have
史上最郁闷的夏天
the most confusing summer of your life.
大家好
Hey, guys!
米奇尔回来了
Oh, there's Mitchell!
我的小亲亲
My little corn silk!
巴布你的拥抱真带劲
Oh, Barb, oh, you are such a good hugger.
她的拥抱是最带劲的不是吗
Isn't she the best hugger?
谢谢
Oh, thank you.
看看我给你带了什么巴布
Oh, and look what I -- I got you, Barb.
是什么
What's that?
是刮奖彩票
Scratchers!
-亲亲 -谢啦
- Mmm... - Thank you.
真不错
Nice.
你的茶好了我去给你沏
Oh, that's your tea. I'm gonna get your tea.
谢谢亲爱的
Thanks, honey.
我需要个硬币
Well, I need a quarter.
我来找找看
Oh. Let me have that.
好吧请随便摸
Oh, wow, yeah, feel free to fish around in there.
小卡小卡
Cam? Cam.
也给我来一杯谢谢
I'd like a cup, too, please.
马上就好
Just a second.
巴布我跟你讲
Ohh, Barb, ohh. You know what?
我我今天扭伤了
I-I-I strained myself so bad today.
哪里疼
Well, what's hurtin' on ya?
就在后背下面
It's this area between my, uh, lower back
大腿上面这块
and upper thigh.
听起来像是屁♥股♥
Sounds like your fanny.
对就是屁♥股♥
It's my fanny.
疼得不得了
It's really knotted up.
你得找个医生看看
Well, you need someone to work on that.
我倒是想只是我疼得走不动了
Ohh, I would love that. Just -- it's really seized up.
我只要你来捏捏
Just put your fingers all over my...
我的屁♥股♥就好了
my fanny.
用你的回春之手巴布
Your magic fingers...Barb.
老妈你的茶好了
Momma? Your tea.
-米奇尔 -谢谢宝贝
- Mitchell? - Thanks, sweetie.
能否借一步说话
See you in the room for a minute?
谢谢茶还很烫
Thank you. It's very hot.
-别烫着舌头 -好的亲爱的
- Don't burn your tongue. - All right, honey.
好吧我不会哭
Okay, I am not gonna cry,
但是我想知道为什么米奇尔
but I want to know why, Mitchell,
你为什么在我妈面前表现得跟只狒狒一样
Why you are presenting to my mother like a baboon.
我想让你看看她是怎么摸我的
I wanted you to see her fondling me.
看来你就是承心要弄哭我
So, you do want me to cry.
不不小卡只是
No, no, Cam, it's just that...
她总是对我动手动脚
she's always touching me inappropriately,
而你似乎从来没有注意到
and you never seem to notice.
做给我看米奇尔
Show me, Mitchell.
用莉莉的娃娃做给我看我妈摸你哪了
Show me on Lily's doll where my mother is touching you.
我知道你不爱听但是她确实动手动脚
I know that you don't want to hear this, but she's handsy,
让我觉得很不自在
and it makes me uncomfortable.
天啊我知道这是怎么回事了
Oh, my god. I know what this is.
我妈太关心你了你一时适应不了
You're just not used to having a mother that shows affection.
别又把我妈扯进来
Oh, do not make this about my mother.
我没有
I didn't.
但是跟母亲的肢体接触是难免的
But it is normal for a mother to be physical.
偶尔的拥抱或者
And it is not strange
拍拍屁♥股♥是很正常的
for an occasional hug or a little pat on tanny.
她不只是拍小卡根本不是
Okay, these aren't pats, Cam -- no.
她一直揪来揪去不放手
She squeezes and lingers!
跟我示范下她怎么揪来揪去不放手了
Show me where she squeezes and lingers.
小卡把娃娃放下
Cam, put the doll down.
我不知道她是开放还是疯掉了
I don't know if this is just sexual or -- or crazy town,
但是她老是对我下咸猪手
but your mother cannot keep her hands off of me,
我已经受不了了
and it's creeping me out
不
No.
巴布
Barb...
我给你示范
Let me show you
你在哪捅了我妈一刀
where you stabbed my momma.
谢谢你帮我挑吉他
Thanks for helping me pick out my axe.
还有你说得对
You were so right, by the way.
双颈吉他的确是太过了
The one with two necks would have been overkill.
你想吃就吃吧
If you want, you can have some of that.
明天开始节食
Diet starts tomorrow!
这也不能告诉邓菲太太哦
Don't tell Mrs. Dunphy about this, either.
我一直想跟海莉来这里
I, uh, I always wanted to go to this place with Haley,
但是她觉得很傻
but she said it looked stupid.
她为人太主观了
She's a girl with strong opinions --
跟她妈妈一样
like her mother.
克莱尔总是对我买♥♥的这件运动衫指指点点
Claire hates this new sweatshirt I bought.
她说这看上去像是
She says it looks like something
女生去沙滩时穿的衣服
a girl would wear to the beach.
确实很像
Yeah, it does.
但我还是穿了
But I wear it anyway.
明白我的意思吗
See?
我觉得吧一个人要是不能做喜欢的事
I figure, why be alive if you can't do the things
活着还有啥意思
you're passionate about?
那么你热衷于什么呢迪兰
What are you passionate about, Dylan?
格雷斯兰猫王宅邸位于田纳西州的孟菲斯
额我一直想开车去格雷斯兰
Uh, I always wanted to drive to Graceland.
不错还有呢
Fun! What else?
我认识一个人能给我搞到一只美洲山猫
I know a guy who can get me a pet bobcat.
不行你根本不知道它们多厉害
Yeah! No, you don't really know what they're gonna do.
重点是你人生道路还长着呢
The point is, you got your whole life ahead of you.
享受单身吧
Enjoy being single.
我觉得我应该给你弹一下这首歌♥
I really got to play that song for you.
我突然来感觉了
This is all in there.
好啊
Yeah.
酷毙了我马上回来
Awesome. Be right back.
嘿你过来
Hey, hey, come here.
那边那家伙是跟别人一起来的吗
Is that guy over there with someone?
你知道他们在搞什么吗
Could you tell if there was anything going on between them?
不知道
I don'know.
好像在说一起去格雷斯兰什么的
They were talking about taking a trip to Graceland together.
他想去是因为
He just wants to go
他觉得那是一个游乐园
'cause he thinks it's an amusement park!
我得跟你说
I got to tell you,
憩室消化道粘膜向管壁外突出的局限性袋形扩张或囊样突出
你这症状越来越像憩室炎了
this is looking more and more like diverticulitis.
有没有说如何治疗
Do they say how to treat it?
像是用电热毯或者又疼了
Like a heating pad or -- ohh -- there it is again.
说说你是怎么个疼法
Well, describe the pain.
就像被捅了一刀
It's like I'm being stabbed,
但又像是被我吃掉的扇贝
but also like I ate a bad scallop
从里面捅了我一刀一样
that's stabbing me from the inside.
很形象但网站上没这些选项
That's colorful, but there's no box for that.
你们爷俩干啥捏
What are you guys looking at?
赫芬顿邮报美国最著名的政♥治♥博客
-看美女 -赫芬顿邮报美女
- Girls! - Huffington post...girls.
曼尼让老娘看看
Manny, let me see that screen.
我不是叫你不要上这个网站的吗
What did I tell you?
不是他的错是我让他看的
It's not his fault. I asked him to look.
我开始觉得我的病严重起来了
I'm starting to think I have a serious problem here.
没错就是这破电脑惹的祸
Yes, you do! That computer!
你看了网页就开始想入非非
You read it there, you think it here,
然后就无病呻♥吟♥
you feel it here.
你想好受点吗
You want to feel better?
好了你痊愈了