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Modern Family S02E23

Part 2 Dec. 3, 2019, 1:09 p.m.

我不喜欢你变这样杰
Aah. I don't like the look of that, Jay.
等下我帮你查一查
Here, let me check something.
把那东西放一边去我去看了皮肤科医生
Put that thing away. I saw my dermatologist.
他帮我检查下痣什么的
He was checking for moles or something.
可能注射了点麻药吧
He probably got some numbing cream on it.
没事
It's fine!
没什么可担心的
Nothing to worry about.
我去打肉毒杆菌了
I got botox.
被一个笨蛋医生忽悠的
Stupid doctor talked me into it,
现在都走样了
And now it's drifting.
我很久没觉得自己这么蠢了
I haven't felt this dumb since
上一次是花了30美元买♥♥了个
I shelled out 30 bucks for that bracelet
据说能让我身体平衡性更好的手镯
that's supposed to give me better balance.
-试着把我的手臂压下去 -好的
- Try to push my arm down. - Okay.
来吧你做不到你做不到
Go ahead. You can't do it. You can't do it.
-好的我是做不到 -亲爱的我回来了
- Okay. All right. I can't -- - Honey, I'm home.
你老爸的车怎么停在咱们家呢
Hey, uh, why is your dad's car here?
"在过去的三年中大部分的同学
"It's ironic that I stand up here
都视我为隐形人
representing my classmates when,
而讽刺的是
for the past three years,
如今我却站在这里作为学生代表
most of them have treated me like I'm invisible.
这是我自找的
It's my own fault.
因为我在乎的是好成绩
I was obsessed with good grades
而不是长相人气或是紧身牛仔裤"
instead of looks, popularity, and skinny jeans."
什么这就是你的演讲台词么
What?! Is that your speech?!
滚出去
Get out of here!
你不能说这些
You cannot say that!
当然能你想知道为什么吗
Yes, I can! And you want to know why?
因为这都是实话
'cause it's the truth.
没有谁想听到实话
No one wants to hear the truth.
这很简单艾丽克斯
It's very simple, Alex.
做一个好的演讲
In order to give a good speech,
你只是随便串几首歌♥名就行了
all you have to do is take a song and say it,
旅程乐队《永远相信自己》
像是《永远相信自己》
like... "Don't stop believin'"
黑眼豆豆组合《开始狂欢吧》
或是《开始狂欢吧》
or "Get this party started."
这没有任何意义
That means nothing.
谁在乎
Who cares?
没谁想要动脑子
Nobody wants to think.
这可是毕业礼
It's a graduation,
庆祝你们不需再开动脑筋的典礼
a celebration of being done with thinking.
人们想要被挑战
People want to be challenged.
他们会因此而尊敬我
They're gonna respect me for it.
以后没人会想跟你说话
No one's ever gonna talk to you again.
那又怎样
So what?
莫罕达斯·甘地印度民族解放运动的领导人
莫罕达斯·甘地为了自己的信仰
Mahatma Gandhi went on a hunger strike
而绝食
for what he believed in.
那是因为没人愿意和他一起在餐厅吃饭
That's 'cause no one would eat with him in the cafeteria!
-伙计们 -我们在这
- Hey, guys! - We're here.
快过来喝点柠檬水吃点饼干
Come on over. Have some lemonade and cookies.
杰看起来是不太妙啊
Jay, that's not looking very good.
没事的
It's fine.
速答谁是总统
Quick! Who's the president?
-奥巴马 -菲尔拜托
- Obama! - Phil, please.
我在测试是不是中风呢
I'm trying to rule out a stroke.
这不是中风
It's not a stroke.
为什么大家总觉得我会中风呢
Why does everybody always assume I'm having a stroke?
-年龄 -饮食
- Age. - Diet.
你忘记给我买♥♥面包了
You forgot to bring my bread.
对不起我们迟到了
I'm sorry we're late.
没事的不过我们五分钟后要出发
That's okay. We got to leave in about 5 minutes, though.
卢克不要玩弄那个球
Luke, stop pushing that ball around!
你会掉进去的
You're gonna fall in.
没错然后你舅舅米奇尔
Oh, yes, and then your uncle Mitchell
就会幸灾乐祸
will laugh at your expense!
我是说这是一种性格缺陷
I'm just saying it's a character flaw.
够了够了做个快速调查
Okay, okay, quick poll here.
今早小卡穿戴整齐
This morning, Cam, fully dressed...
还好是穿着衣服会发生的事情
Thank god it's one of those stories.
当他正严肃地思考时
...while in the middle of a very serious thought,
突然掉进了小孩泳池
fell into a ducky pool.
老天你没事吧
Oh, my goodness. Are you all right?
我没事谢谢
Yes, I am. Thank you.
这才是正常的反应爱和关心
That is a normal reaction -- love and concern.
好的故事还没说完
Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait.
泳池都发出爆裂声了
The pool popped.
可怜的小东西
Ay! Poor thing!
-尾骨受伤后果不不堪设想啊 -我知道
- There is nothing worse than a tailbone injury. - I know.
真的假的不不不
Seriously? No, no, no, no.
你们都是装出来的
You're so full of it.
你们明明觉得这很搞笑
You know this is funny.
想象一下他这身形
Picture this
掉进一个小池子哦
falling into a tiny pool.
他这一周都会在这儿呆着哦伙计们
He'll be here all week, folks!
我是说真的你别想跟我回家
Literally, because you're not coming home with me.
她来了小可爱斯黛拉来了
There she is. There's my little Stella.
我的乖狗狗
That's my girl.
亲爱的
Hi, sweetie.
你太可爱了
You're so cute,
我想把你的小脸蛋吃掉
I just wan eat your face!
还记得当初你也这么抱着艾丽克斯
You remember when you used to hold alex like that,
说她可爱的让你想吃掉吗
and you wanted to eat her face?
没错
Yeah.
现在她就要步入高中了
Now she's off to high school. Mm.
时光飞逝对吧
Time marches on, huh?
没错
Yep.
你知道什么才是最悲伤的吗
You know what's really sad?
什么
What?
《泰坦尼克号♥》的结局
The end of "Titanic."
卢克
Hey, Luke.
你意识到两年后
Do you realize, in two years,
咱们就要小学毕业了吗
you and I will be graduating?
现在不是说这个的时候
Not now.
我在用意念移♥动♥这个球
I think I'm moving the ball with my mind.
呃估计我毕业没问题
Well, I'll be graduating.
伙计们别在心里暗自庆幸自己
You guys, stop congratulating yourselves
能装得那么富有同情心
for being so compassionate.
如果你们当时在场
If you had been there,
你们会跟我一样笑翻天的
you would have laughed just as hard as I did.
他过来了
He's coming.
不要说话
Stop talking.
他今天已经够丢脸了
He's been embaassed enough today.
忍♥住忍♥住忍♥住忍♥住
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
怪不得啊
Wow. Now it makes sense.
原来这是普里契特家的共性
It's a Pritchett thing.
残酷冷血的遗传基因
Cruelty's genetic.
顿时认清了你们家族面目
Suddenly it's all very clear.
小心你可能会撞上去哦
Be careful. You might run into it.
对不起
I'm sorry.
小卡不好意思
I'm sorry, Cam. I'm sorry.
天啊老爸你的脸
oh, my god, dad, your face!
什么没事没事
What? Oh, that's nothing, nothing.
没事的我就去看了下皮肤科
It's boring. I went to the dermatologist.
无聊瞎鼓捣了下我没事
It's a boring story. I'm fine.
-不我们带你去医院 -我没事
- No, no, no, we got to get you to a hospital. - I'm fine.
是的我带你去走
Yes, I'm taking you. Come.
歌♥洛莉亚不等等
Gloria, no, wait.
你们在这等歌♥洛莉亚
Wait right here! Gloria?
歌♥洛莉亚
Gloria?!
歌♥洛莉亚