摩登家庭
Modern Family S02E21
Part 2
Dec. 3, 2019, 1:09 p.m.
行了 她不是那意思
Stop it. That's not what she meant.
瞧瞧我们 我都可以把你那小身板给折断
Look at us. I could snap you like a twig.
够了 每隔段时间你就拿我的小身板出来说
Okay, every once in a while you say that thing about the twig,
-你要知道这让我很反感 -对不起
- And I need you to know that it bothers me. - Sorry.
好了 各位 母亲节快乐
Okay, everybody. Happy Mother's Day!
我代表所有的男士们
I know I speak for all the guys
感谢你们在我们下班风流快活的时候
when I say thank you for everything you do
所默默付出的一切
while we're off having affairs.
开玩笑的 我待会儿回家跪搓衣板
I'm kidding. I'll pay for that later.
我们先为妈妈和宝贝们拍张合影
Uh, let's get the moms and kids together for a picture!
完了 走 快走
No, let's go. Let's get out of here.
手推车不要了 赶紧跑
Leave the stroller and run.
小卡 停下 没人会叫你去
Cam, stop. No one's going to ask you to --
卡梅隆 快过来
Cameron, get on up here.
不用了吧 你们先拍吧
I don't know. You guys just go ahead.
-你可是名誉妈妈 -也不是啦
- You're an honorary mom! - Oh, I don't know.
好吧好吧
Uh, okay, all right.
-放手 -快过去吧
- Unhand me. - Get over there.
这不太合适吧
That's -- that's...
站近点 近点
Okay, tighten up, tighten up.
看这里 女士们
Up here, ladies!
太美了 再来一张 美女们
Beautiful. One more, gals.
谢谢女士们 非常感谢 太美了
Oh, thanks, ladies. Thanks so much. Perfect.
真棒 好了
Great. Okay.
是的 那肯定是毒葛
Yeah, that was definitely poison oak.
我觉得这皮疹在扩大
I think this rash is spreading.
曼尼 那不是皮疹
Manny, that's not a rash.
它变红是因为你抓的
It's red because you scratch it.
我只是想没话找话说
I just don't want my throat to close.
闭嘴不见得是件坏事
Wouldn't be the worst thing.
我太无聊了 我宁愿看书
I'm so bored, I'd rather be reading.
我也是 为了不无聊到麻木
I'm so bored, I chewed the last bug
我把刚飞进我嘴里的飞虫拿来磨牙
that flew in my mouth just to feel something.
我都无聊到跟你说话了
I'm so bored, I'm talking to you.
够了
Ugh! Okay!
在刚才的二十分钟里
For the last 20 minutes,
你们这些人只知道抱怨
all you people have done is whine!
你们有没有想过今天是母亲节
You would think on mother's day, at least,
至少 要说也说点好听的
You would have something nice to say --
-别说话 -怎么了
-Shh! - What?
我以为听到了土狼的声音 继续说吧
Thought I heard a coyote. Go ahead.
天啊 卢克 你个傻帽
God, Luke, you're such an idiot.
至少我看起来不像个傻帽
At least I don't look like an idiot.
-什么意思 -你的帽子
- What does that mean? - Your hat.
看起来像你头上飞的鸟 拉了一坨丑帽子
It's like you walked under a bird that poops ugly hats.
能不能注意语言文明
Can we watch the language?
我们也没有其它东西可以注意了
There's nothing else to watch.
闹够了没有
Enough complaining!
不要因为这一天没在沙滩度过
You can't bitch all day
就整天发牢骚
because you're not at the beach all day.
跟上
Come on.
不不不
No. No, no.
我要送我自己一个母亲节礼物
I-I'm giving myself a mother's day present.
孩子们 你们的徒步旅行结束了
Kids, your hike is over.
-好 -耶
- Yes! - Yeah!
不 不要得意
No! No, not happy.
-不好 很不好 -对
- Bad. Sad. - Mm.
我和歌♥洛莉亚要去完成
Gloria and I are gonna go finish
这次绝美的徒步旅行 你们就呆在这
this beautiful hike together while you sit here
好好思考你们是如何自私和无脑
and think about how selfish and thoughtless you've been.
我们走
Come on.
如果我们无脑 我们怎么能思考
If we're thoughtless, how can we think?
老娘没收你的水
You just lost your water.
我们走
Let's go.
你戴的什么玩意儿
What the hell are those?
洋葱护目镜 这样做饭就不流泪了
Onion goggles. No more tears when I cook.
欢迎来到21世纪 你应该去搞一副
Welcome to the 21st century. You should get a pair.
我也打算这么做
I was gonna suggest the same thing.
杰 你知道我们应该放些什么进去吗
Hey, Jay, you know what we should put in this?
-我们应该放 -不行
- We should add a da-- - No.
这是我妈妈的食谱
It's my mom's recipe.
上面说放什么就放什么
What it says on the page goes in the pot.
一样不能多 一样不能少
Nothing more, nothing less.
牛肉和香肠我要搅拌多久
Now, how long do I stir the beef and sausages?
读给我听
Read it to me.
牛肉和香肠搅拌5分钟
You should stir the beef and sausages for five minutes.
我要忍♥受你模仿
And how much longer do I have to listen
《朱莉娅·柴尔德印象厨房♥》到什么时候
to the Julia Child Impression?
美国著名厨师 作家及电视节目主持人朱莉娅·柴尔德的烹饪节目
一直到这个没意思了为止
For as long as it's still funny.
我觉得已经够了
I think the timer just went off on that.
不必这样吧
That was unnecessary.
这是什么
What's this?
什么
What?!
杰 在做好这个以后
Hey, Jay, maybe after this,
我们应该再做一道"完美妈妈"
we should make "the perfect mom."
我们只需要"一汤勺爱 一杯温暖
All we need is "a tablespoon of love, 1 cup of warmth,
以及一颗慈爱的心"
add one heart, softened."
你到底在说啥
What the hell are you talking about?
这个完美妈妈食谱
This recipe for the perfect mom,
杰·弗朗西斯·普里契特写于9岁
by Jay Francis Fritchett, age nine.
这个我都忘了
Geez, I forgot all about that.
我都不知道她把这个放食谱里面了
I didn't know she had that in there.
怎么了 弗朗西斯
What's that, Francis?
没什么
Nothing.
肉还要搅拌多久
How much longer on the meat?
我喜欢"做给一个小男孩吃"这句
I love the part about "serves one small boy."
太可爱了
That's adorable.
"175磅的温柔"
"175 pounds of tenderness."
她肯定爱死这个了 她很胖吗
She must have loved that. Big woman?
杰
Jay?
于是我就看见了
And that's when I saw it.
杰
Jay...
你是不是
Are...
-在哭 -没有
- Are you crying? - No!
都是洋葱惹的祸 靠 护目镜给我
It's the onions, damn it. Give me these.
你看什么看
What are you lookin' at?
没什么
Nothing.
这护目镜和你脸型很相称
Those really frame your face.
漂亮
Beautiful.
谢谢
Ay, thank you.
我不想让你批评我
Okay, I don't want you to judge me,
但是有些东西我不吐不快
but I have to say something.
有时候我真想揍我的孩子们
Sometimes, I want to punch my kids.
-你不会真心想这么做 -不 我真的想
- You don't mean that. - No, I do. I do.
上次就跟今天一样 他们非常讨厌
The last time they were horrible the way they were today,
他们正好站成了一排
They happened to be all lined up.
我那时禁不住想
And I couldn't help but think,
如果我打倒他们其中一个
"If I hit just one of them,
其余两个就会像多米诺骨牌一样倒下来
the rest would go down like dominos."
我知道
I know.
这样我就会失去
That would rob me of the pleasure
把他们一个一个打到的乐趣 但是
of hitting each one individually, but...
天啊 你可不能这么说自己的孩子
Oh, my god, you don't talk about your children this way.
行了吧 你知道曼尼有时候惹你生气
Oh, come on. You know Manny irritates you.
不 曼尼是我生命中最美好的存在
No. Manny is the best thing that ever happened to me.
我们之间有种特殊的纽带
We have a special bond.
对 纽带 我懂
Yes, bonds. I know.
但这不是现在我要说的
but that's not what I'm talking about now.
克莱尔 很长一段时间
Claire, for a long time,
都是我们母子俩相依为命
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