摩登家庭

Modern Family S02E05

Part 1 Dec. 3, 2019, 1:07 p.m.

妈那狗又在吠
Mom. The dog again.
听到了宝贝我想掐死那条疯老狗
I know baby. I want to strangle that crazy old thing.
别理它就是了
Just ignore it.
对你来说确实容易
It's easy for you to ignore
因为你已经老耳闭塞
because you have the old-man hearing.
但是我跟曼尼有着朝气蓬勃的双耳
But Manny and I -- we have the young ears.
我就不明白你怎么会受不了一条咆哮狗
I don't get how one dog keeps you awake
你老家满街都是斗鸡和武装革命
when you grew up sleeping through
应该早习惯了吧
cockfights and revolutions.
很好笑杰
Mm-hmm. Very funny, Jay.
曼尼已经好几个礼拜都没睡好觉了
Manny hasn't been able to sleep in weeks.
他都没精神上课
It's screwing his brain for school.
那狗吠个不停
And it doesn't stop.
一直不停地叫啊叫啊叫啊叫啊叫啊叫啊
It goes on and on and on and on and on and on
-叫啊叫啊 -行了这声挺烦的
- and on and on and on. - Yes, that could be annoying.
我受够了我去找他们
That's it. I'm going over there.
歌♥洛莉亚别惹事
Gloria, now, don't go starting something
因为不管你干什么最后还不是我善后
because whenever you do, I'm the one that --
这声她倒是可以不理会
That she couldn't hear.
他们都不见了小卡
They're gone. Cam.
所有的小孩都不见了
All the children are gone.
什么孩子们
What children?
我在公园跑步
I was running in the park,
然后我发现
and I noticed that none of the kids
跟莉莉一起玩的小孩都不见了
Lily usually plays with were there.
-现在还早着呢 -但是我遇到了罗莉
- Well, it's still early. - But then I ran into Lori.
大胸罗莉还是牙套罗莉
Boobs Lori or adult-braces Lori?
-美鞋罗莉 -我喜欢她
- Great-shoes Lori. - Oh, I like her.
她说他们都把孩子送去上幼儿园了
And she said that they all sent their kids to preschool.
什么我们说好了明年再上的
What?! We agreed to wait till next year.
那是忽悠我们好给自家孩子争取名额
It was a fake-out to make sure that their kids got a spot.
那些瘦婊♥子♥
Those skinny bitches.
我们必须去报名卡梅隆
We have got to get her into school, Cameron,
不然她就落后了
or else she's gonna fall behind.
你以为我不知道吗
Don't you think I know that?
真够绝的
This is perfect.
让那对基佬
Oh, leave it to the gays
养出美♥利♥坚♥唯一一个成绩烂的亚洲小孩吧
to raise the only underachieving Asian in America.
[亚洲学生在美国一般成绩都比较优秀]
好了这个给你
Okay, here you go.
伙计们吃早餐了
Guys, breakfast.
伙计们菲尔理我一下
Guys. Phil. Hello.
我在我在
Totally with you.
孩子们盘子放到洗碗机里去
Kids, put your dishes in the dishwasher.
好了我受够了
Okay, no. That's it.
每个人都给老娘把手里的玩意儿放下
Everybody, gadgets down now!
你干嘛发飙
Why are you freaking out?
因为这些玩意把你们魂都勾跑了
Because you're all so involved with your little gizmos,
都没人讲话了
nobody is even talking.
家人彼此间应该交流
Families are supposed to talk.
你在处理什么了不得的事吗
What are you doing that's so important?
我在捣鼓俺的梦幻烤炉
Oh, I'm locking in my fantasy roster.
我战无不胜
I'm unbeatable.
我们正要建一个地上泳池
We're totally getting an aboveground pool.
去死吧蠢货去死吧
Die, stupid, die!
卢克我叫你把那东西放下
Luke, I told you to put that down now.
快点小子
Come on, buddy.
等一下我就要破老爸的记录了
One second. I'm about to beat dad's record.
听妈妈的话
You heard your mother.
有什么这么好笑
What is so funny?
没什么
Nothing.
"老妈疯了" 谢谢海莉
"Mom's insane." Thank you, Haley.
至少我们在交流
At least we talk.
喂
Hello.
是我哪所幼儿园比较好
Hey, it's me. What's a good preschool?
我家小孩去的是沃根威尔
Uh, well, our kids went to Wagon Wheel.
那所好吗你喜欢吗
And it was good? You liked it?
你知道我的小孩
Oh, well, you know my kids
反正也都不是什么太好的胚子
are middle-management material at best.
也不想在他们身上浪费太多钱
Didn't want to waste a lot of money --
米奇尔那所不赖
Yes, Mitchell, it's good.
干吗突然问这个
Why the interest?
我突然发现莉莉的玩伴们
I just realized that all of Lily's friends
今年都上幼儿园了她现在落后了
are going to school this year, and now she's late.
别担心她可以明年再上
Don't worry. She can wait another year.
给她买♥♥部黑莓手♥机♥就是了
Just buy her a Blackberry,
反正现在的小孩就爱它
that's all she's gonna want to do anyway.
她说什么
What did she say?
她说给莉莉买♥♥部黑莓手♥机♥
She says to buy her a Blackberry.
莉莉的小手还没法玩手♥机♥呢克莱尔
Lily doesn't have the dexterity for that, Claire!
她疯了吧
What is happening?
你能不能问一下你那间学校
Can you just check with your school
看看能不能接收我们
and see if maybe you can get us in?
我也许可以帮你安排一次会面
Hmm. I-I can probably get you an interview.
太棒了太好了
Oh, no. That's great. That's great.
谢谢真的太感谢了
Thank you. I really appreciate it.
还有顺便问一下你觉得
Oh, and, by the way, what do you think
比林斯利学院怎么样
of that place Billingsley Academy?
比林斯利拽得很呢
Ooh. Billingsley. Very hoity-toity.
一般人根本进不去除非你富得流油
You can't get in there unless you're really rich
或者在校董会有人
or you know somebody on the board.
天啊这简直是个噩梦
Oh, god, this is a nightmare.
米奇幼儿园罢了别小题大做
Mitch, it's preschool. Don't overthink it.
我家小孩也没上比林斯利
My kids didn't go to Billingsley,
他们不也好好的吗
and they are fine.
我得挂了
I have to go.
菲尔
Phil.
有创意
That's awesome.
《摩登家庭》第二季第五集
-早上好 -你好
- Buenos dias. - Hi.
我们还没正式见过面
We haven't formally met.
我是住在隔壁的歌♥洛莉亚·普里契特
I'm Gloria Pritchett from next door.
我叫拉瑞·保森见过面了
Larry Paulson. Yeah, I've seen you. Mm.
艳福不浅啊
Lucky guy.
是福是祸你很快就知道了
Wait a minute, then tell me.
你的狗吠个不停
Your dog doesn't stop barking.
整日整夜乱吠
All morning, all night.
他吵醒了我儿子
He wakes my son up,
他需要充足的睡眠
and he needs his sleep.
不是我的狗是我即将散伙的妻子的
It's not my dog. It's my soon-to-be ex-wife's.
她三个星期前搬出去了
She moved out three weeks ago.
她会回来取吗
Is she coming back for it?
除非狗屎变美钞
Not unless it starts crapping money.
那你必须想办法治治它
Well, you need to do something about the dog.
那狗又老又笨
The dog is old and stupid.
你到底是在生谁的气拉瑞
Who are you really mad at, Larry?
那条狗还是你妻子
The dog or your wife?
这小孩怎么回事
Who the hell is this kid?
别扯上小孩
Hey, there's no need for that.
我告诉你他是怎么回事
I'll tell you who he is.
他的名字就叫做让你那该死的狗闭嘴
His name is "shut up your damn dog"!
真是讽刺至极啊
You know what's ironic?
我从来都没有抱怨过
And I have never once said a word
你们家那只聒噪的鹦鹉
About that obnoxious parrot of yours
叫声简直非人类
That's always squawking.
鹦鹉
Parrot?
什么鹦鹉
What parrot?
杰
Jay!
杰
Jay!
杰
Jay!
他那是什么意思哪儿来的鹦鹉
What is he talking about? What parrot?