摩登家庭
Modern Family S02E18
Part 3
Dec. 3, 2019, 1:08 p.m.
那是你父亲 秀色可餐嘛
Ooh. That's your father? He's cute.
你能别这么性趣昂然吗
Okay, can you please turn it off for one second?
看他只身前来 何不请来合坐
Ooh, he's all alone. Invite him over.
可不能这么做
Yeah, that's not something we're gonna do.
别紧张 你早就出柜了
Relax, your dad knows you're gay.
可他不知道我能做到这地步
He doesn't know I'm this gay.
这让我们情何以堪
Excuse us?
普里契特先生
Oh, Mr. Pritchett!
杰 杰 这里这里
Jay! Jay! Yoo-hoo!
他真像你在湖边搞上的那个牙医
Oh, he looks like that dentist you hooked up with in laguna.
对 我可是有恋父情结的
Oh, yeah, yeah. That was in my daddy phase.
继续吧 继续开我玩笑吧
Yes, please, keep this up. This is fun for me.
-小伙子们 你们好 -你好啊 老爸
- Fellas, how you doing? - Hey, dad.
-你好 杰 -你好啊 亲爹
- Hi, jay. - Hello, daddy.
你在这干嘛
What are you doing here?
我乘歌♥洛莉亚和曼尼看演出的时候 来这里喝一杯
I'm just getting a drink while Gloria and Manny see a show.
-和我们一起吧 -算了 我不想打扰你们雅兴
- Well, please join us. - No, I don't want to intrude.
-他不想打扰我们的雅兴 -你哪有打扰我们
- He doesn't want to intrude. - You are not intruding.
我只是想在酒吧里看场比赛
I'm just gonna watch the game at the bar.
他只是想在酒吧里看场比赛
He just wants to watch the game at the bar, so...
坐下吧 我们最多还有25分钟就走了
Oh, sit down. We're up by 25 with a minute to go.
好吧 那我就坐一会吧
Well, maybe just for a minute.
好吧
Okay.
一般男人围在一起喝酒都做些什么
So, what does a guy got to do to get a drink around here?
就这么干坐着
Nobody say anything.
贾斯汀 再来点酒
Justin, more booze.
米奇尔刚刚想告诉我们
Oh, Mitchell was just about to tell us
第一个和他来电的男人是谁
Who his first boy crush was.
-我可没有要说 -让我来帮你了解下前情
- No, no, I wasn't. - Let me bring you up to speed.
克里斯宾的那位是乔伊·麦金太尔
Crispin's was Joey Mcintyre,
不知道为何人
whoever that is.
朗吉奴斯说他的那位是约翰·施耐得
Longinus said John Schneider.
你叫朗吉奴斯
Your name is Longinus?
当耶稣被钉在十字架上 一名叫朗吉奴斯的战士用枪刺伤了他的侧腹 后来被耶稣的血感化成为圣徒
我知道 但我从来没机会被感化
I know. I never stood a chance.
小卡迷恋于理查·基尔
Cam's was Richard Gere,
而我则钟情于蒙哥马利·克利夫特
and I was Monty Clift.
至少你那位本来就是个同志
Well, at least yours was gay.
我是说 你可能有机会发展一下
I mean, you might've had a shot.
谢谢
Thank you.
克里斯宾 站起来 我要坐他旁边
Crispin, up. I'm sitting next to this one.
欢迎
Welcome.
他就在那
He's right there.
好了
All right.
-克里扎克先生 -克里扎克先生
- Mr. Kleezak? - Mr. Kleezak?
门是开着的
It's open.
亲爱的 他没动静 他还好吗
Honey, he's not moving. Is he okay?
要知道答案只有一种办法
Well, there's only one way to find out.
克里扎克先生
Mr. Kleezak?
克里扎克先生
Mr. Kleezak?
好吧
Okay, look.
不知道他还有没有没呼吸
I don't know if he's breathing.
他还有脉搏吗
Does he have a pulse?
要知道答案只有一种办法
Well, there's only one way to find out.
不要再推我了 你来
Would you stop pushing me? You do it.
我讨厌这样
I hate this.
我要把卢克宰了
I'm gonna kill Luke.
天啊 他是冰冷的
Oh, my god. He's ice-cold.
天啊
Oh, my god! Ugh!
对不起 我们以为你出事了
I'm sorry. We thought there was something wrong with you.
-对不起 -什么
- Sorry. - What?!
我们以为你出事了
We thought there was something wrong with you!
菲尔
Phil.
你好
Hi.
我们还没有正式认识 我是菲尔·邓菲
We haven't, uh, formally met. Phil Dunphy.
对 我认识你
Yeah, I know you.
你私闯我家 还乱摸我
You're the guy who just broke into my house and fondled me.
不 我们很担心 以为你死了
No. No. We were just concerned that you looked dead.
无意冒犯
No offense.
你们在这干什么
Well, what are you doing here?
我们的孩子卢克告诉我们
Oh, um, our son, Luke, told us
你请他到你家看电影
that you invited him over here to watch movies,
你应该可以理解
and I'm sure you could understand
我们担心这件事的理由
why we would... be concerned about that.
-不理解 -菲尔
- No. - Phil.
-你做得好极了 -宝贝
- You're doing great. - Honey.
等下 你的意思是 我是变♥态♥吗
Wait, are you saying that I'm some kind of pervert?
-不 -可能 不是
- No. - Probably...not.
我没有让他过来
Look, I didn't ask him to come over here.
各人自扫门前雪 莫管他人瓦上霜
I was minding my own business, like you should be.
好
Okay.
说句公道话 孩子的事就是我们的事
But in all fairness, our son is our business.
很好 那就好好看住他
Well, then, keep him.
也让你女儿不要再开车撞我的垃圾箱了
And keep your daughter from driving into my garbage cans.
我
I --
你跳性感舞的时候
And keep your blinds closed
拜托你拉上百叶窗
when you're doing your little sexy dance.
天啊 他看到我的性感舞了
Oh, god, he's seen my sexy dance.
我十二岁时
So I'm 12 years old
在我好朋友吉姆家过夜
I was staying over night at my best friend Jim's house,
我们两个都不想睡觉
And neither one of us want to go to sleep.
我知道接下来是什么
I know where this is going.
克里斯宾 你不至于想歪吧
You're better than that, Crispin.
我们就偷偷溜出去看电影
So, we sneak off to the movies,
我们看的这部片子叫《所罗门王》
And we see this little picture called "Solomon and Sheba."
里面的示巴女王是
And Sheba was...
-吉娜·劳洛勃丽吉达 -答对了
- Gina Lollobrigida! - Bingo!
吉娜·劳洛勃丽吉达[国际影星]
我发誓 我这一辈子总有一天
And for the rest of my life, I swore, one day,
我要和吉娜·劳洛勃丽吉达结婚
I would marry Gina Lollobrigida.
老爸 你差不多算是做到了
Well, dad, you kind of did.
我知道
I hear that!
这很不错 里面有什么
Mmm. These are good. What's in them?
玛格丽特加苦艾酒
It's a Margarita with a shot of absinthe.
苦艾酒可以加深感情
Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.
你是在说双关语还是口齿不清啊
Ohh, are you making a bad pun or just lisping?
真不敢相信 我白开这么长的路
I can't believe I drove all the way to the valley
到山谷里去接你
to pick you up.
贾斯汀 加酒
Justin, more booze!
海莉 一切都还好吗
Haley, hi. Is -- is everything okay?
是的 怎么了
Yeah, why?
我刚看见一个男人走过客厅
Because I just saw a man walk through the living room.
什么 你在哪
What? Where are you?
我可以通过电脑上的摄像头看到
I can see through the camera on the computer.
你竟然监视我 天啊
You're spying on me? Oh, my god.
天啊 这也太逊了吧
Oh, my god. That is so lame.
我不知道你看到了什么
Look, I don't know what you think you saw
或许是电视 或许是反射的影像
Maybe the TV, or the reflection,
或许你觉得我的身材看起来像男孩
or maybe you think that my body's just shaped like a boy,
就像我没有臀部什么的
like I don't have hips or something.
不 你的身材好极了
No, no, no, no. You have a-a darling figure.
我只是担心
I was just concerned that
太伤人了
That hurts so much.
这种事情我以为只有我老妈会做
This is the kind of thing that I expect from my mother,
没想到我这么酷的叔叔也这么干
but not from my cool uncle,
谢谢你这样的信任
so thank you for all of your trust.
好了 对不起
Okay, I'm -- sorry. Sorry.
难以置信
Unbelievable.
你得走了
You got to go.
好吧
Okay.
好
Yeah. All right.
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