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Modern Family S02E09

Part 2 Dec. 3, 2019, 1:08 p.m.

不要像"大炮"琳达对我那样对待迪兰
Don't do Dylan like Linda "the cannon" Concannon did me.
亲爱的
Oh, honey...
都过去那么久了
that was a long time ago.
我真的爱过她
I loved her.
好吧我知道了
Okay. I know.
你知道吗
You know what?
也许海莉跟迪兰分手以后我可以打给他聊聊
Maybe I'll call Dylan after he talks to Haley.
他肯定需要找个人来依靠一下
He's gonna need someone to lean on.
但那个人不该是他前女友的老爸
But that someone should not be his ex-girlfriend's father.
亲爱的迪兰跟海莉分手以后
Honey, when Dylan is out of her life,
就应该跟咱们都分手
he should be out of ours.
你一向讨厌迪兰
You've always hated Dylan.
我没有一向讨厌迪兰
I have not always hated Dylan.
我只是一向认为海莉可以找个更好的
I have always thought that Haley could do better.
再说这个新男友超聪明呢
Plus, the new boyfriend is so smart.
搞掂了我们分手了
It's done. We broke up.
什么
What?!
我发了短♥信♥给迪兰分了
I texted Dylan. It's over.
肯定是他
I'll bet that's him.
哭丧着脸的表情
Sad-face emoticon!
透过电♥话♥都知道他有多伤心
You can feel the hurt through the phone!
吃晚餐时小卡的妈妈有一半的时间
Cam's mom's been half of the dinner with her hands
都在对我上下其手
all over me.
就好像她是个瞎子
It was like she was blind
然后想知道我的大腿长什么样
and wanted to know what my thighs looked like.
你确定吗
Are you sure?
你对这种事情真的有评论权吗
I mean, are you really the best judge of this kind of a thing?
你从小就对界限模糊
You've had boundary issues since you were a kid.
我才没有
I have not!
好吧对不起是我的错
Okay. Sorry. My mistake.
肯定是小卡母亲的错是她有问题
Must be Cam's mom...her issues.
你在干吗
What are you doing?
-没干吗拿个勺子而已 -别这样
- Nothing -- just getting a spoon. - Stop it.
-你觉得不舒服吗 -是的
- Is it bothering you? - Yes, it is.
-嘿米奇尔 -克莱尔别这样
- Hey, Mitchell - Claire, stop it! Stop it!
-米奇尔米奇尔米奇尔 -别逼我
- Mitchell, Mitchell, Mitchell, Mitchell -- - Force field!
还是那么好玩
That never stops being fun.
很好
Good.
听好了这不是我瞎想的克莱尔
Listen, this is -- this is not in my head, Claire.
而且她愈演愈烈了
And it's actually getting worse.
小卡怎么说
What does Cam say?
他根本就没注意到
Well, he never seems to notice.
而我肯定不能告诉他
And I certainly can't talk to him about it
因为我绝对不能说他妈坏话
because God forbid I say anything negative about his mom.
有一次我在她的砂锅炖肉里加了盐
One time I added salt to her casserole...
结果他冲进车♥库♥砸了我的车
...and he went into the garage and punched the car.
好吧米奇尔如果这一切是真的
Okay, Mitchell, if this is happening --
虽然我很确定这是你的幻觉
and I'm pretty sure it isn't --
谢谢你还真是挺我呀
Thank you. Supportive.
那么你就要让小卡看到他妈妈摸你
then you need Cam to see his mom feeling you up
然后交给他去处理
and then make Cam deal with it.
好好想想吧
Think about it.
迪兰
Hi, Dylan.
邓菲太太
Hey, Mrs. Dunphy.
不过现在我跟海莉分手了
Or, I guess, now that Haley and I broke up,
我想我该叫你"克莱尔"
I should call you "Claire".
还是继续叫我邓菲太太吧
Actually, I think we're gonna stick with "Mrs. Dunphy".
进来吧你还好吗
Come on in. How are you doing?
不怎么样
Not so good.
我不管去哪都能见到她的脸
I mean, everywhere I look, I see her face.
那是呀迪兰你看的是我们的全家福
To be fair, Dylan, that is a family portrait.
我要上去拿我的东西可以吗
I got to go get some of my stuff. Is that cool?
当然去吧
Oh, sure. Yeah.
又是她
There she is again!
别往书架上看
Oh, don't look on the bookshelf!
那会让你
You're just gonna...
小子有时间吗
Hey, kid, you got a minute?
我要那个医学网站的网址
I need the name of that medical website.
不能等我回家再说吗
Can this wait until I'm home?
我正赢得爽着呢
I'm having the round of my life.
我一直在想我可能有一点
I've been thinking, I might have a couple of those, uh,
你之前说的那些症状
those symptoms you were talking about.
知道了
I see.
别等我了你继续打吧
You might as well play through.
我还要耽搁一会呢
It's gonna be a while.
我可能是多想了
I mean, I'm probably wrong,
但是我只是想确认一下
but, you know, I just, uh, want to make sure.
-是曼尼吗 -是工作电♥话♥
- Is that Manny? - Work.
那么告诉他们
So, uh, tell them I'll --
我今天下午就发货好吗
I'll get that order out this afternoon, huh?
她信了吗
Did she buy that?
因为就连我听起来都觉得有点假
Because it sounded fake on this end.
晚点聊汤姆
I'll talk to you later, Tom.
是汤姆
Tom.
迪兰
Dylan!
迪兰迪兰迪兰迪兰
Oh, Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, Dylan.
邓菲先生
Hey, Mr. Dunphy.
你们俩现在既然分手了
Hey, now that you guys are broken up,
你随便怎么叫我都行
you can call me whatever you want.
菲尔维他命菲菲老爸都行
Phil, Vitamin P., P. Daddy.
好吧菲尔
Okay, Phil.
好的
Okay.
我会想念这个臭小子的
I'm gonna miss that bad boy.
有时候我手痒痒了
When I forget my own axe,
就进来拨弄一下它
sometimes I come in here and noodle on it.
实际上我最近也在写首歌♥呢
Actually, I've been writing a little song of my own.
也许我可以给你弹
Might be able to pluck out a few...
我一直希望这一切只是个梦
You know, I keep on hoping that this is just a dream,
海莉其实没有跟我分手
that Haley and I didn't really break up.
但这不是梦
But it's not a dream...
除非整件事都是个梦
unless the whole thing was a dream
我们从一开始就没在一起过
and we never even dated in the first place.
真奇怪这跟我写的歌♥差不多
Weird -- this is kind of what my song's about.
是啊真奇怪
Yeah. Weird.
我知道这不好受但是你会好起来的
I know this is tough, but you're gonna be fine.
我高中的时候跟你很像
You know, I was a lot like you in high school...
除了我的头发短点
except my hair was shorter
我玩的不是吉他而是长笛
and my guitar was a flute.
如果你想要把吉他
Well, if you want your own guitar,
咱俩可以
I mean, we could --
咱俩可以一块去买♥♥
We could go out and we'd pick you one.
我不这样好像不太好
Oh, I don't -- I don't know if that's such a good idea.
没错
Yeah. Totally.
那么
Well
我看我还是走吧
I guess I'll get going.
这样一来
So...
我就能孤独终老了
I can...well, be alone forever.
管它的呢
Uh, what -- what the hell?
咱俩去买♥♥吉他吧
Let's go guitar shopping.
棒极了
Awesome.
答应我件事别别告诉邓菲太太好吗
Uh, do me a favor. Don't -- don't tell Mrs. Dunphy?
那是一定的没问题
Yeah. Definitely. You got it.
好的很好
Okay. All right.
那回头见
Well, I guess I'll see ya.
好的你
Okay. You --
你可以直接
you, uh, you can go ahead and exit
从正门出去的
through the...front door.
对哦我都习惯了
Oh, right. Habit.
我的旧年鉴
My old yearbook!
你知道我把它们都存下来了
You know I saved them all.