摩登家庭
Modern Family S02E06
Part 2
Dec. 3, 2019, 1:07 p.m.
Oh, my god.
真为你遗憾
I am so sorry.
当你的同龄人奔赴黄泉的时候
When someone your age dies,
你最想知道什么
What's the first thing you want to know?
是怎么死的 对吧
"Died of what?" Right?
你希望死因是
You want to hear it was something
一件永远不会发生在你身上的事
That could never happen to you.
离婚也一样
Well, it's the same with divorce.
如果是因为 酗酒 出轨 虐待
Tell me it was booze, cheating, physical abuse.
没关系 我是个酒量一般 用情专一的好男人
No problem. I'm a monogamous social drinker,
克莱尔也只有睡着了偶尔踹我一脚
And Claire only sleep-hits me.
别告诉我就那么突然发生了
Just don't tell me it came from out of the blue.
我完全傻了眼
I was totally blindsided.
我想这一路走来
I guess somewhere along the way
她发现我不再讨人喜欢了
She stopped finding me delightful.
那完全就是胡扯
Well, that's - that's coconuts.
你超级讨人喜欢
You're super delightful.
但对朱蒂来说不再是了
Not to Judy.
她以前都会因为我的一举一动而大笑
She used to laugh at everything I had to say,
但现在我都记不清她的笑声是什么样的了
But now I can't even remember what her laugh sounds like.
克莱尔会模仿 简直惟妙...
Claire can do it. It's uncan-
我差不多该回家了
I should go back inside.
我还有碗要洗
I have a dish to wash.
好吧 但是
Okay, but, hey...
杰瑞 你有什么需要就来找我
Jerry, if you need anything, all right?
我是你坚强的后盾
I'm your rock.
你一定会觉得难以置信
You are not gonna believe this.
朱蒂和杰瑞离婚了
Judy just left Jerry.
想想也会 她这些日子都过的不开心
Oh, yeah. She was so unhappy.
他怎么样了
How's he doing?
他可不像你这么轻松地就接受了
He's not taking it as well as you are.
抱歉 亲爱的 不是我麻木不仁
Oh, I'm sorry, honey. I don't mean to be insensitive.
只是我现在太忙了
I've just got a lot to get done.
我没有觉得你麻木不仁 我觉得你很讨喜
I don't find you insensitive. I find you delightful.
你觉得我讨喜吗
Do you find me delightful?
噢 天呐 我差点忘了
Oh, god, I just remembered!
杰瑞本应扮演我们走廊处的稻草人的
Jerry's supposed to be our porch scarecrow.
你能请他继续来吗
Can you ask him if he'll still do it?
他现在心情很糟糕
He's kind of a mess right now.
我知道 可有人陪着总归比较好
Yeah, but it might make him feel better be around people.
我去试试
I'll try...
不过他的世界刚刚天翻地覆
But his whole world just turned upside down.
你能想象有多糟糕吗
Can you imagine?
前一分钟还夫妻恩爱
One minute, you're happily married,
下一分钟却劳燕分飞了
The next minute, you're completely by yourself.
你们别找借口了 我需要撤销这起诉讼
I don't need excuses. I need this lawsuit to go away.
谁负责凯瑟的证言
Now, who's responsible for the Keith deposition?
是我 "先僧"
uh, well, I was, "Shir."
但我要为自己辩解一下 有人"告树"我
But, uh, in my defense, I "Wash" told
脱下你那愚蠢的獠牙 戴尔
Take those stupid fangs out, Dale.
首先 现在是白天
For starters, it's daytime.
吸血鬼白天都在睡大觉
Vampires sleep during the day...
如果你不幸被炒 就可以睡个够了
which you may soon have plenty of time for.
真抱歉 但是有人跟我说我们不需要凯瑟了
I'm sorry, but I was told that we didn't need Keith.
谁告诉你的
Who told you that?
是是是 我说的 老大
I-I-I may have. I may have done that, sir.
真令人失望
Well, that's disappointing.
但是米奇尔初来乍到
But at least Mitchell's new here.
暮光哥 你是老员工了
Twilight, you're not.
赶紧去办 散会
So get it done. Meeting adjourned.
客户还在我办公室等着呢 我们要迟到了
Client's waiting for us in my office. We're already late.
-哦 -赶紧走
-Ohh. -Let's roll.
-啊 你健身效果不错啊 -是的
-Ah, you've really been hitting the gym. -Yeah.
那到底是什么声音
What the hell is that noise?
每次我想脱掉那戏服的时候
Every time I tried to get out of that costume,
就有人拉我去开会
I got dragged into another meeting.
简直是有史以来最糗的万圣节
It was the worst Halloween ever.
是吗 米奇尔 真的是最糗的吗
Really, Mitchell? The worst Halloween ever?
你不过只是大腿咯吱作响
You had squeaky thighs.
我的童年却毁于一旦
I lost a childhood.
杰 有你的包裹
Jay! This came for you.
哦 亲爱的 是什么呢
Oh. Hi, honey. What is it?
我打电♥话♥叫你的秘书
I called your secretary and told her
订了一些薄脆饼干
to order you some crackers
还有你喜欢的奶酪
and those cheeses that you like -
就是小小的那种
the tiny, little ones.
谢谢 你取回我的"夜龙"戏服了嘛
Thanks. Did you pick up my "Gargle" Costume, too?
-你在取笑我吗 -没有啊
-Are you making fun of me? -No.
先是曼尼纠正我发音 现在又轮到你
First, Manny correcting me. And now you?
要是我有问题 杰 我愿意洗耳恭听
If I have a problem, I want to know, Jay.
听着 亲爱的 英语是你的第二语言
Honey, look, English is your second language.
你已经说得很好了
You're doing great.
你这样估计我滴感受 不利于我滴进步
Yeah, you're not helping by protecting my feelings.
我要你实话实说
I want you to be honest with me.
好吧 我察觉到了一些微不足道的错误
Okay, well, I may have noticed some tiny, little mistakes
你可能要注意一下
you might want to take a look at.
-比如说 -就是一些发音错误 比如说
-Like what? -Just little mispronunciations. Like, for example
昨晚你说 "我们住在狗狗的世界里"
Last night, you said, "We live in a doggy-dog world."
-怎么了 -实际上应该是"狗咬狗的世界"
-So? -Well, it's "Dog-eat-dog world."
是啊 但是
Yeah, but...
这根本说不通啊
that doesn't make any sense.
谁想生活在一个狗互吃的世界啊
Who wants to live in a world where dogs eat each other?
狗狗的世界是漂亮滴世界
A doggy-dog world is a beautiful world
狗狗到处都是
full of little puppies!
我还说错什么了
What else do I say wrong?
还有 不是"天上来的祝福"
Well, it's not "Blessings in the skies."
而是"因祸得福"
It's "Blessings in disguise."
还有呢
What else?
是"腕管综合症"
"Carpal tunnel syndrome"
不是"拼车管综合症"
is not "Carpool tunnel syndrome."
还有呢
And what else?
"型感的"也不对
It's not "Volumptuous."
好了对了 我知道我口音很重
Okay, enough. I know that I have an accent.
但是大家都能听懂
But people understand me just fine!
这到底是啥
What the hell is this?
我跟你说了 杰 我打电♥话♥给你的秘书
I told you, Jay, I called your secretary
叫她给你订一盒小奶酪
and told her to order you a box of baby cheeses.
歌♥洛莉亚把cheeses(奶酪)读成了Jesus(耶稣)
哦 这次又是我滴错了
Oh, so now that is my fault too.
好吧 能否转达克莱尔
Oh, yeah, can you tell Claire
我不大想来扮演稻草人
that I'm not really up for being the scarecrow?
我和朱蒂以前很爱万圣节
Judy and I used to love Halloween.
这是她最喜欢的节日
It's her favorite holiday.
-啊哈 -你懂吧
-Huh. -You know?
天啊 想到你一个人坐在家里胡思乱想
Gosh, I hate to think of you sitting in there alone,
我就觉得于心不忍♥
running through all this in your head.
你表现得再好也于事无补啊
What could you have done differently?
你表现得再好也于事无补啊
What could you have done differently?
我真的觉得难以启齿
It's actually a little hard for me to talk about.
别对我紧闭心扉嘛 人家又不是朱蒂
Don't push me away. I'm not Judy.
我要是再随意自然一些就好了
I could've been more spontaneous.
我要是能更加幽默性感就好了
I-I-I could've tried to have been more fun and sexy
就像过去一样
like I was in the old days.
随意自然 性♥感♥诱♥惑♥ 我懂了 懂了
Spontaneous and sexy. I got it. Yep.
记住了 有事随时找我 好吗
And remember, I'm here for you, okay?
哦哦哦 我擦
Ohh! Son of a...
你穿的是啥
What the hell is that?!
怎么了 你叫我穿以前的戏服
What? You told me to put on an old costume.
你也不能穿8岁那套啊
Not from when you were 8.
你是想别人给你糖果 还是要吸引日本怪叔叔
Are you trying to get candy or Japanese businessmen?
换了 快去
Change it. Go.
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