摩登家庭

Modern Family S02E06

Part 1 Dec. 3, 2019, 1:07 p.m.

-早啊宝贝早饭就快好了 -早
- Hi honey, breakfast will be ready in a minute. - Hi.
我的手-手-手
My ha-a-a-nd!
好好笑哦老妈
Very funny, mom.
我知道今天是万圣节啦
I know it's Halloween.
假手挺逼真啊
Nice fake hand.
我们超爱万圣节
We love Halloween.
尤其是克莱尔
Especially Claire.
我最爱的节日没有之一
It's my favorite holiday.
从小我就喜欢惊悚恐怖的东东
Ever since I was a kid, I loved scary things.
每次新上一部恐怖片
If there was a new horror movie in town,
我肯定第一个去排队
I was the first in line.
"一张票谢谢"
"One, please."
后来我遇到了菲尔
Then I met Phil.
"两张票谢谢"
"Two, please."
《摩登家庭》第二季第六集
好了
Okay.
搞定帮我拉一下
All right. Do me.
拉呀拉呀拉呀
Do me, do me, do me.
小卡我得说我穿这个还挺性感
Cam, I have to say, I feel kind of sexy.
性感得吱吱直响但...
Well, squeaky sexy, but...
你知道如果不是这么讨厌万圣节
You know I'd be enjoying this more
我觉得老公穿成这样儿也挺好的
if Halloween wasn't such a tough day for me.
但我想你打扮停当去上班
But I want you to go to work...
让他们羡慕嫉妒恨
and knock their socks off.
之前我一直在一间古板保守的律所工作
Well, my last job was at a pretty conservative law firm.
没有人会在万圣节装扮自己
No one there would ever dress up for Halloween.
但很明显现在这间律所...
But apparently at this new company...
呃我在想是扮成吸血鬼呢还是狼人呢
Um, right now I'm thinking either vampire or werewolf.
每年都让我很伤脑筋啊
Every year it's harder to decide.
等一下等一下不好意思
Wait, wait, wait. I-I'm sorry.
等等请问你们真的穿着戏服来上班吗
Wait. So people really come to work in costumes here?
开玩笑吗这可是传统啊伙计
Are you kidding? It's epic, bro!
传统
Epic.
我是新来的
I'm already the new guy.
我可不想和大伙儿格格不入
I don't want to be the nonpartipation guy, too.
有我在就不会
Not on my watch.
不幸的是我对万圣节的爱在很久之前
Unfortunately, Halloween was marred for me personally
就因为某件事戛然而止了
by an incident long ago.
现在能撑过这一天我都觉得命大
Now it's just a day I have to get through.
你又来了
So you've said.
好了大家下午五点半在这儿集♥合♥
All right, so, everybody has to be here at 5:30
为晚上的鬼屋活动做准备
to rehearse our house of horrors.
你们都准备好要打扮成什么了吗
You guys have your costumes ready?
好了不过暂时保密
Yeah, but it's a secret.
我和曼尼一起弄的
Me and Manny came up with something together.
太棒了
I love that!
-我现在能吃点糖吗 -不行
- Can I have some candy? - No.
你呢艾丽克斯
How 'bout you, Alex?
我没空考虑这个
Well, I haven't really thought about it.
我明天有三门很重要的考试
I've got, like, three huge exams tomorrow.
宝贝万圣节装扮可不能临时抱佛脚啊
Honey, you can't just slap something together at the last minute.
你知道吗如果你能把花功课上的时间
You know, if you gave this costume half as much time
分一半给准备今晚的着装
and attention as you give your homework,
也不至于像现在这样儿
you wouldn't be in this situation.
提醒你一下你有个孩子是读书天才哦
Can I remind you, you have one child who's not mediocre?
这身怎么样恐怖猫女装
Check it. I'm a scary black cat.
吓不倒别人倒是把我吓得心肝乱颤
The only person that costume scares is me.
-去换一身 -换成什么
- Go change it. - To what?
随便什么你以前穿过的吧
I don't know. One of your old costumes.
宝贝相信我
Honey, trust me.
如果不换的话你一整天
I am sparing you an entire day
都会被男人问你的舌头是否也如猫般有摩擦快♥感♥
of guys asking you if you have a rough tongue.
喂
Hello.
喂爸是我
Hi. Dad. It's me.
我就是问问你和歌♥洛莉亚准备好今晚活动了没
I wanted to make sure you and Gloria were ready for tonight.
-今晚什么活动 -你不会全忘光了吧
- What's tonight? - What do you mean, what is tonight?
爸今晚万圣节啊你知道的
Dad, it's Halloween. You know this.
别着急莫蒂莎我逗你呢
Calm down, Morticia, I'm just teasing you.
连环画《亚当斯一家》女主角生活在恐怖古堡中的怪人
晚上见
We'll be there.
好但是要穿戏服来
Yeah, but in costume this time.
这次你不能再像去年那样反戴着棒球帽
You can't just show up with a backwards baseball cap
还自称是斯路普·道格[黑人嘻哈歌♥星]
and call yourself Snoop Dogg like you did last year.
我压根儿就不知道那人是谁
I didn't even know who that guy was.
是海莉把我帽子反过来还叫我这么说的
Haley turned my hat around and told me to say it.
我以为他是什么寻狗侦探呢
I thought he was a dog detective.
听着别担心我们已经准备好了
Listen, don't worry. We got the whole thing worked out.
拜拜
Bye-bye.
-哈啰杰 -你在哪儿
- Hola, Jay! - Where are you?
我捎了曼尼和他同学一程
I have Manny in the carpool,
偶们就快到"辍学区"了
and we're going to the dropout.
辍学? 你是说那个叫埃迪的小孩吗
Dropout? You mean that Eddie kid?
他确实傻♥逼♥兮兮的
Yeah, he's a moron.
不是啦
No, the dropout,
就是学校里让孩子们下车的地儿
where you drop the kids in the school.
她意思是"下客区"
She means "Drop-off."
偶就是这么说滴呀
That's what I said.
听着你准备好今晚
Listen, did you ever do anything about costumes
克莱尔那活动要穿的了吗
for Claire's thing tonight?
偶下午就去取
I'm going to pick them up this afternoon.
你扮成"夜龙"
You're going to be a "Gargle,"
偶扮成邪恶村庄布鲁哈
and I'm gonna be an evil village bruja.
你越说我越糊涂
I know less now than I did before I asked.
布鲁哈就是巫婆夜龙就是夜龙嘛
Hmm. A bruja is a witch, and a gargle is a gargle.
她是在说夜行神龙
She means "Gargoyle."
[美国著名漫画中的角色]
我就是这么说的
That's what I said.
你有所准备就好
As long as you got it covered.
要是达不到克莱尔想要的效果
Because if Claire doesn't get her Halloween,
她就会变成现实版的巫婆
she turns into a real "Rhymes with 'bruja.'"
哦不就我一个穿了
Oh, no. No, no, no. I'm the only one.
吃午饭的时候我会让你戴我的獠牙的
At lunch, I'll let you wear my fangs.
看看这些傻子
Look at those tools.
每年都这样真是一对蠢蛋
Every year. What a couple of douches.
噢不
Ohh. Oh, no.
喂
Hello?
只有三个人穿着戏服
There are exactly three people in costume here -
一个傻瓜一个蠢蛋还有一个我
A tool, a douche, and me.
可我现在没有时间回家来换衣服了
And I don't have time to go home and change and -
冷静
Calm down.
你带了昨天要送去干洗的衣服了吗
Did you bring in the dry-cleaning from last night?
你是不是想用这个来惹我生气
Are you really getting on me about the dry-cleaning wh-
噢对了后备箱里有套西装
Oh. I have suits in the trunk.
看吧懒人有懒福
Look at that. Yesterday's lazy cures today'crazy.
好样的感谢上帝
Yes. Thank you! Thank you.
这就去换
Okay.
噢终于找到你了
Oh, there you are.
我需要你去开兰普金的会
Hey, I need you in the Lampkin meeting.
-等不能等我先... -只要5分钟
-If I could just maybe have -Five minutes.
好吧
O-kay.
-问你个法律问题 -什么
-Okay, hey. First legal question. -Yeah?
我能平白无故地炒了这俩笨蛋吗
Can I fire those idiots for no reason?
上帝啊
Oh, my gosh.
-你手臂可真壮实 -额是的
-Those are some major guns you got there. -Eh, yeah.
这东西怎么...
Why won't this...
嗨杰瑞
Hey, Jerry.
嗨菲尔装扮得不错
Hey, Phil. Looking good.
谢谢看到我们今晚的准备你会更吃惊
Thanks. Wait till you see what we got planned for tonight.
克莱尔和我准备扮成僵尸夫妇
Claire and I are going as corpse bride and groom.
好像夫妇都是行尸走肉吧
As if there's any other kind, am I right?
-我是说婚姻让人好想死哦 -朱蒂把我甩了
-I'm saying marriage kills you. -Judy left me.
天呐