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Modern Family S02E16
Part 3
Dec. 3, 2019, 1:08 p.m.
- Claire! -No! Don't follow me.
情人生日纪念日快乐
Happy valen-birth-iversary!
气呼呼的离开
Storming off --
和你老妈如出一辙
right out of yr mom's playbook.
然后你去了哪里
Where'd you go?
结果 我没有走远
Well, as it turns out, not very far.
见鬼
Damn it.
菲尔
Phil!
菲尔 你个蠢货 停下
Phil, you moron, stop it!
-是我 你个蠢货 -对不起
- It's me, you idiot! - I'm sorry!
你在干什么
What are you doing?!
对不起
I'm sorry!
我以为是只浣熊
I thought you were a raccoon!
你以为我是只浣熊
You thought I was a raccoon!
因为人看上去像是浣熊
Because people look so much like raccoons.
你看
Oh, look.
这儿就有一只
There's one now!
不要啊 克莱尔 不要 克莱尔
No, claire, no! Claire!
等等
Wait a minute.
疯女人发疯都是有原因的
Not even crazy woman go crazy for no reason.
西兰花之前发生了什么
What happened before the broccoli?
问题就 她突然就爆发了啊
That's just it -- it came out of the blue.
我走进门
I walked in the door,
我们就随便聊聊
we're having a conversation about nothing.
亲爱的
Hey, honey.
抱歉单位有点事耽搁了
Sorry I got stuck at the office.
今天过得怎么样
How was your day?
不错
It was good.
-你知道发生了什么吗 -什么
- Although you know what? - What?
黛比午饭放我鸽子了
Debbie stood me up for lunch.
很无礼是吧
Rude, right?
没有啊 她打电♥话♥
No. She called.
我没有收到消息啊
I didn't get a message.
你收到了
Yeah. You did.
我给你留字条了
I left you one.
就在这儿
It's right...there.
那就是原因
That's it!
她怎么可能看见这个
How is she supposed to see this?
你要是给我这么小的纸条
If you give me a message this tiny,
我会杀了你
I kill you.
但她不是那时候发狂的
But that's not when she got mad.
我还和保险公♥司♥的人谈了谈
Also, I talked to the insurance company
就是那个"不是你的错"小事故
about that little accident that "wasn't your fault"
因为刹车"不正常"
because the brakes weren't "working right."
而且赔的钱也没有我想的多
And that's not gonna cost us as much money as I thought,
很好
so that's good.
那就是原因
That's it!
你侮辱一个女人的驾驶技术
You insult a woman's driving,
你还用了手指兔子
and you use the "air bunnies."
菲尔做那个动作叫手指引号♥ 歌♥洛莉亚有所创新
你要是对我那样做 我会杀了你
You do that to me, and I kill you.
了解
I hear you,
但是发狂也不是从那时开始的
but the screaming still hadn't started yet.
我不是和斯基普·伍斯纳吃午饭的吗
So, I'm having lunch with Skip Woosnum, right?
天呐 那家伙说个不停
Boy, can that guy go on and on.
都不知道说哪去了
Tangent after tangent.
对了 他还让我对一个超赞的东西产生了兴趣
By the way, turned me on to the greatest thing --
卷心菜沙拉 你应该试试
wedge salad -- you gotta try it.
随便了
Anyhoo...
你猜谁和我们邻桌
Guess who's sitting at the table next to us.
我前女友卡拉
My old girlfriend Carla.
我们打算一起去喝咖啡
We're gonna grab coffee.
她瘦了不少
She lost a ton of weight.
你怎么这么蠢
How stupid are you?
你要是跟我说你去见前女友 我就
You tell me that you're seeing an old girlfriend, and I --
杀了我 我知道
Kill me, I know.
但是她那时还没有爆发
But she still hadn't snapped yet.
差点忘了
I almost forgot.
我买♥♥了你要的西兰花
I picked up the broccoli you asked for.
花椰菜
Cauliflower.
真不敢相信我又买♥♥错了
Can't believe I did that again.
西兰花和花椰菜不是一个东西 样子很像 西兰花绿色的 花椰菜白色的
真是受不了你了 菲尔
I cannot believe you, Phil!
你不是做错一件事
You didn't do one thing wrong.
每件事都做错了
You do everything wrong!
我都不知道她为什么还要跟你说话
I don'even know why she talks to you.
她说她没事的
She said she was okay.
不 没有女人会对这种事释怀的
No. No woman is okay with this.
我们不会忘记
We don't forget.
我们等着
We wait.
然后 在你最不经意的时候
And then, when you least expect it,
让你付出应有的代价
we make you pay.
下巴抬起来
Chin up!
抬起来
Up!
这么说你因为那事发飙了
So you had a meltdown over that.
是的 因为自打我遇见他
I did, because ever since I met him,
我就想让菲尔试试♥卷♥心菜沙拉
I've been trying to get Phil to try a wedge salad.
斯基普·伍斯纳这个他并不喜欢的人
The minute that Skip Woosnum,
一推荐这个
whom he doesn't even like, suggests it,
菲尔就觉得这是最好的东西
Phil thinks it's the greatest thing ever,
每一件事都是这样
and he does this with everything.
书 电影 还有电视 都是这样
He does it with books, with movies, with tv.
他听取所有人的意见 除了我的
He listens to everybody's opinion but mine,
这都让我抓狂了
And it drives me crazy.
你们俩今早看上去没事啊
You two seemed fine this morning.
是啊 因为我们讨论过了
Well, we were because we talked about it,
顺便说下
which, by the way,
你要是想解决歌♥洛莉亚唱K这件事
if you want this whole karaoke thing with Gloria to go away,
你就应该这么做
That's what you need to do.
说着容易做着难
That's easier said than done.
你什么时候开始回避正面冲突了
Well, since when do you shy away from confrontation,
强硬先生 直话直说先生
Mr. Tough Talk, Mr. Straight shooter?
变得温和了吗 老爷子
Getting a little soft, grandpa?
别人给你做按♥摩♥的时候
You know, when you get a massage,
你发出的声音就像是蒂华纳的妓♥女♥
you sound like a Tijuana prostitute.
卢克 电♥话♥
Luke, phone.
第三街的朋友
Friends of the third street --
是米奇尔吗 他怎么这么慢
Is that Mitchell? What's taking him?
不是 不是米奇尔 是
No, it's not Mitchell. It's...
我不明白他的名字
I don't understand his name.
哪位
Hello?
兰吉尼斯 你好 听着
Oh, hi, Longinus. Listen,
你收到我的消息了吗
did you get my message?
关于那个竹节椅的那条
About the chiavari chairs --
我想你过来的时候带给我
I want you to bring them when you come.
你不来 是什么意思
What do you mean you're not -- not coming?
那不可能
Well, that's not possible.
米奇 米奇两礼拜前就发邀请给他们了
Mitch -- Mitch mailed them weeks ago.
那派珀呢 他收到了吗
What about Pepper? Did he get his?
那迈克尔呢
And Michael?
那史蒂夫和斯特凡呢
And Steven and Stefan?
还有鲍勃
And Bob?
我得挂了
I have to go.
打给你米奇尔舅舅
Get me your uncle Mitchell.
我不知道他号♥码
I don't know his number.
转到语♥音♥信箱了
It went to voicemail.
当然了
Of course it did.
一直打 直到接通
Keep trying him until you get him.
只需一个键
it's one button.
只要 重拨
Just...redial.
今晚的盛大活动
Hey, really great event tonight
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