摩登家庭

Modern Family S02E18

Part 1 Dec. 3, 2019, 1:08 p.m.

妈咪早安
Good morning, mom
早安小宝贝
Good morning, puppy
今天才周三对吧杰
Hump day, am I right, Jay?
你2点半之后就自♥由♥了
Your day ends at 2:30
早死早超生
Can't come fast enough.
我指的是退休杰你说是不是
Quitting time. Am I right, jay?
我们不要把这点看得过重
Let's not make this a thing.
嘿嘿嘿这是啥玩意儿
Whoa, whoa, whoa. What is this?
我的水煮蛋呢
Where's my soft-boiled egg?
我把它炒了
I scrambled it.
尝试一下新鲜事物对你有好处
It's good for you to try new things.
我才不要尝试新鲜事物呢
I don't want to try new things.
你不能突然对我这样
You can't just spring this on me.
曼尼告诉你个坏消息
I have bad news, manny.
生活最刁难你的时候
This is not the biggest curve ball
还没到呢
that life is going to throw you.
哥们儿不要拒绝新鲜事物
Buddy, don't close yourself off from new things.
我有没有跟你说过我对蟹肉饼的心路历程
I ever tell you the story about me and crab cakes?
恨之试之爱之
Thought I didn't like them, tried them, love them.
那电影版权也能这样吗
Are the movie rights available for that one?
邓菲家族春季例赛
Dunphy spring classic.
看下周谁来洗碗
Who's gonna do the dishes for the next week?
男孩大战女孩
Boys versus girls.
雄性激素大战雌性激素
Testosterone versus estrogen.
站着嘘嘘大战蹲着嘘嘘
Standing up to pee versus the squat.
-菲尔快开始 -老爸
- Phil, come on! -Dad!
击球失误
Swing and a miss.
我摸清了她的路线卢克
He's in her head, Luke.
男孩大获全胜女生只有流口水的份
And boys rule and girls drool.
你才随时流口水
You drool all the time.
弄得老妈得带你去看专家
Mom had to take you to a specialist.
我还适应我的舌头呢
I'm still growing into my tongue.
妈我能不能和罗宾去看电影
Hey, mom, can I go to the movies with robin?
不行你还在关禁闭
No, you may not, 'cause you are still grounded.
那你能送我回房♥间吗
Then can I be sent to my room?
不行我们在享受家庭的欢乐时光
No, 'cause we're having some fun family time.
我们整个美丽的下午都呆着外面
We're gonna spend this beautiful afternoon
享受新鲜空气做点运动好吧
outside in the fresh air, getting some exercise, okay?
快投菲尔
Pitch it, Phil.
我勒个去
Oh, well.
游戏结束
That's the game.
什么意思我们才刚刚开始
What do you mean? We just started.
那个是我们唯一的球
That was our only ball.
所以呢
So what?
游戏就这么结束了就因为你怕
The game's over just because you're afraid
隔壁的傻蛋克里扎克先生吗
of stupid Mr. Kleezak?
对我才不去他那里
Yep. I'm not going over there.
这比赛真有意思
That was fun.
如果汉尼拔或者弗雷德有孩子
If Hannibal Lecter and Freddy Krueger had a love child,
来自电影《沉默的羔羊》和《猛鬼街》
他也会害怕我们的隔壁邻居
he would be afraid of our next-door neighbor.
我通常不对别人做负面评价
I don't have a mean thing to say about anyone,
但是克里扎克先生的确
but Mr. Kleezak is...
不是个好人
not a nice person.
亲爱的淡定点
Easy, honey.
-海莉 -米奇尔叔叔
- Hey, Haley. - Oh, hey, uncle Mitchell.
-你妈在吗 -不在
- Hey, is your mom home? - No.
她要带艾丽克斯去看肿瘤医生[谐音口误]
She had to take Alex to the oncologist.
天啊怎么回事
Oh, my god, what's wrong?
她要配一副新眼镜
She needed new glasses.
-你是说验光师吧 -随便啦
- Oh. Did you mean optometrist? - Whatever.
-要给她带个话吗 -对对
- So, should I give her a message? - Yes, yes.
问她星期六晚上能不能帮忙
Could you ask her if she could possibly babysit
照看一下莉莉
Lily on Saturday night?
我们感激不尽
We'd really, really appreciate it.
星期六晚上我们要和
Saturday night, we're having dinner
胡焦朗吉奴斯以及克里斯宾吃饭
with pepper, longinus, and crispin.
他们都是同志
They're our gay friends.
我觉得大家都知道
I think that was clear.
我最近大部分时间都跟
I've been spending a lot of time
异性恋的人呆在一起
with a lot of straight people lately.
亲爱的我需要跟我的伙计们好好玩一晚
And, darling, I need a night with my homies.
-你是说你的同性闺蜜吧 -对
- You mean homos. - Okay. Yeah.
或许你留下来照看莉莉会更好
You know what? Maybe you should stay in and babysit.
我们的保姆不能来
Yeah, our babysitter bailed,
我们有点小麻烦
and we're kind of in a bind, so --
我能行我能照看莉莉
I can do it. I can watch lily.
我很在行的我现在就在照看卢克呢
I'm really good. I'm babysitting Luke right now.
是吗
Oh, yeah?
你想照看莉莉
You want -- you want to babysit lily?
亲爱的真的很感谢
Oh, well, that's very sweet, honey,
但是你是个很受欢迎的女孩子
but you're -- you're a very popular girl.
我想你有更好的事情做
I'm sure you have better things to do, so --
真的我现在很闲
Oh, seriously, I'm totally free.
现代被关禁闭可比古时候糟糕多了
Being grounded is so much worse than it was in the olden days.
我朋友不断给我发短♥信♥ 更新facebook
My friends text and facebook
谈论他们各种有意思的事情
all the fun stuff they're doing
我却只能呆在家里和老爹玩搭积木
while I'm stuck at home playing jenga with my dad.
你说真的吗
Are you serious?
你甚至可以不给我钱
You don't even have to pay me.
我发誓把她照顾得妥妥的
I promise I'll take super good care of her.
好吧如此甚好谢谢了
Okay, well, that would be great. Thank you.
好的星期六见
Yes, well, we'll see you on Saturday night.
-拜拜亲爱的 -拜
- Bye, sweetie. - Bye.
卢克
Luke?
卢克
Luke?
你在想些什么
What are you thinking?!
海莉是一个甜美时尚的女孩
Haley is a very sweet and fashionable girl,
但显然不是一个合格的保姆
but seems hardly a responsible caregiver!
我们需要一名临时看孩子的人
Well, you know what? We needed a sitter.
她是我们的家人
She's family.
我们就让她试一次吧
I say we give her a shot.
试一次用我们的孩子
A shot? Oh, with our only child?
当然为什么不呢
Sure, why not?
如果有什么差错的话
If something goes wrong,
我们只需回到东方再领养一个
We'll just pop over to the orient and grab another one.
什么
What?
我是卢克·邓菲我住在隔壁
My name is Luke Dunphy. I live next door.
你有什么事
What do you want?
我想到你的院子里把球拿回来
I want to get our ball from your yard.
我可不想让你把后面搞得一团糟
I don't want you messing around back there.
回家去吧
Just go home.
你要去潜水吗
Are you going scuba diving?
你为什么要带着个罐子
Why do you have that tank?
你聪明吗
You being smart?
你是说在学校吗还行
You mean in school? Well, I do okay.
老师说我容易走神
My teacher says I get distracted.
为什么你的鼻子里会有管子
Why do you have that tube in your nose?
好玩
For fun.
真的吗我能试试吗
Really? Can I try?
这是氧气
It's oxygen.
我们房♥子里也有
We have that in our house,
但我们不需要用罐子装
but we don't need tanks.
看在上帝的份上去拿你的球吧
Oh, for god's sake, just get your ball.
好的
Okay.
我的天啊
Oh my god.
我在看新闻
I was watching the news,
又有一群鸟从天空掉下来死了
and another flock of birds fell out of the sky dead.
发生什么事了
What is happening?
亲爱的你不能再看新闻了
Sweetie, you got to stop watching the news.
这就是你的解决办法拥抱无知吗