摩登家庭

Modern Family S02E04

Part 1 Dec. 3, 2019, 1:07 p.m.

天啊真是笑死我了
Oh my God, that's so freaking funny.
那是我写的嘛
I know, right?
你们在笑啥
What?
老爸又出品经典之作给她讲讲
Dad just wrote another classic one. Tell her.
"经典"可不敢当不过笑话是这样的
I don't know about "Classic," but here we go.
[此处story双关"楼层"和"故事"]
"如果您想买♥♥一幢双层小楼"
"If you're looking for a two-story house,"
"那可真找对人了"
"I'm your man."
"我会在您付款之前讲第一个故事"
"I'll tell you one story before you buy it"
"付款之后再讲一个"
"and then another story after."
哈哈太经典了
No, you didn't!
今晚是S.C.A.R.B.之夜
Tonight is the S.C.A.R.B..
南加州房♥产经纪人年度宴会
The Southern California Annual Realtor's Banquet.
我猜他们应该知道这个吧
I think they know what it is.
这可是其他所有
It's the mother of all
住♥宅♥地♥产♥类宴会的鼻祖
residential-real-estate banquets.
过去五年来这宴会都是吉尔·索普在主持
Now, for the last five years, Gil Thorpe has hosted,
但凑巧的是
but as luck would have it,
他最近在做一个很恶心的息肉切除手术
he's having a sketchy-looking polyp remove.
所以他们就来找我说 "菲尔上"
So they've asked me to..."Phil in."
["Phil in"套用"fill in" 后者意为替补上场]
-你听出笑点没 -当然
- See what I did? - Oh, yeah.
"菲尔[同音词Fill]"
"Phil."
我可以用这个作开场白吗
You think I should open with that?
当然了这还用问吗
You betcha. You should.
菲尔一定会颜面扫地
Phil is gonna bomb.
不是说他不幽默他很自娱自乐
It's not that he's not fun. He is so fun.
只是他的笑话都太冷了
He's just not funny.
在这一点上我也有责任
It's probably my fault,
因为他开口我必笑
because I laugh at all of his jokes.
皮笑肉不笑
With my mouth not with my eyes.
"我看到优秀的房♥产经纪人玛格丽特·威尔逊来了"
"I see the great realtor Margaret Wilson is here,"
"看上去比以往更加丰满迷人"
"looking more curvaceous than ever."
"说你那一屁♥股♥的债呢“
"Talk about your balloon payments."
[balloon payment指分期付款中最后一笔较大金额的付款]
歌♥洛莉亚我们一定要留着这盘
Gloria, do we have to keep
哥伦比亚对战巴西的足球赛录像带吗
this Colombia/Brazil soccer game?
是滴我一直都没看完这场
Yes, I haven't seen it yet.
这录像已经录好五个月了
It's been sitting in there for five months.
我是说我可以告诉你谁赢了
I mean, I can tell you who wins.
那这盘两个小时的
And what about this two-hour
《古董路演》节目录像带又是怎么回事
"Antiques roadshow"?
[古董路演] 美国一档电视鉴宝节目
我今天想把它看掉
I'll watch it today.
好吧那我要去打高尔夫了
Fine. I'm gonna play some golf.
不行你还要参加米拉贝尔的女儿的成年礼呢
No. What about Mirabel's daughter's Quinceanera?
拉美女孩十五岁生日要盛大庆祝以示其成年
完全不知道你在讲神马
I honestly didn't get any of that.
米拉贝尔是你的员工
Mirabel. She works for you.
好吧然后呢
Okay.
她女儿罗莎芭今晚要举♥行♥成人礼
Her daughter, Rosalba, is celebrating her Quinceanera,
这是她的十五岁生日
her 15th birthday.
她邀请了咱俩但你完全无视了
She invited us. You just going to ignore it.
我才没有我一直都记得这码事
Of course not. I get this all the time.
我把这事丢给我秘书了
I throw it on my secretary's desk,
她给了他们一份奥马哈牛排当礼物
and she sends them an Omaha steak.
-唉杰 -咋了
- Ay, Jay. - What?!
曼尼说得对
Manny's right.
女孩的成年礼在拉丁文化中是灰常重要滴
The Quinceanera is very important in the Latin Culture.
作父亲的要带着他的小公主翩翩起舞
The moment the father dances with his little princess.
我还记得我爸爸拉着我滴手跳舞的时候
Ay, I remember my own father holding my hand.
在场滴人无不内牛满面
There wasn't a dry eye in the cartel.
但那些人不会欢迎我去参加的
But these people don't want me there.
明白吗他们只是客气一下
See, they're just being polite.
我是他们的头儿
I'm the boss.
你这是自欺欺人
That's what you tell yourself
你就是骑在人♥民♥头上作威作福
so you can stay above them.
你就扔给他们一个什么"奥巴马"牛排
You just throw them an "Obama" Steak
然后就打你的高尔夫去了
and run to the golf course.
我可没有高高在上
I'm not trying to stay above them.
我只是不想
I just don't think
去他们那什么"叽里呱啦"的事儿里凑热闹
I have to go all "arriba, arriba" with them.
-因为你比他们都强 -当然不是
- Because you're better than them? - No, of course not.
我是说我只比其中一些人强点而已
I mean, I'm better than some of them.
乃根本都不认识这些人对不对杰
Do you even know these people, Jay, hmm?
还是说他们根本就只是乃的垫脚石
Or they're just the backs you step on?
我知道你不肯承认我是一枚杰出人士
I know you like to make me out as an elitist,
但事实上我相当亲民
but the truth is, I'm close with these people.
那就去参加成人礼证明给我看
Then prove it. Just go to the party.
好吧只去一个小时你来开车
Fine. One hour. You drive.
因为我怕把泊车卡给错人
'Cause I don't want to give my valet ticket to the wrong guy,
这样你就又能唠叨我了
have you all over me.
唉杰
Ay, Jay.
你到底都是从哪儿钻出来的
Where do you keep popping out from?!
小卡现在又开始健身了
So, Cam has started working out again,
这是这真的是件好事
which is -- it's -- it's great.
瘦身可以让他自我感觉更加良好
He's feeling good about himself,
而我只想让他健健康康的
and I want him to be healthy,
所以这本来是天大的好事
So it is all good.
只可惜有一件事
Except for one thing.
当当当
Knock, knock.
看看谁来了
Look who's there.
或许世界上真的有人
Maybe there's a person in this world
能把单车热裤穿得好看
who looks good in bike shorts.
但我男人肯定不是其中之一
But my boyfriend is not that person.
可我不能告诉他因为但凡影射到他体型
And I-I can't tell him because he gets incredibly sensitive
哪怕最不经意的一句话都能让他飙从中来
about even the tiniest comment concerning his physique.
嘿我明天早上想去上一节动感单车课
Hey, I think I'm gonna take this spin class tomorrow morning.
哦去吧
Oh, sure.
哦好吧我明白你的意思了
Oh, I get it. Message received.
我啥也没说啊
I didn't say anything!
《摩登家庭》第二季第四集
拜托你就不能像正常人一样跑跑步吗
Okay, can't you just run like a normal person?
你说啥我在做跑珈
What? It's troga.
这是啥
It's what?
你连"跑珈"都木有听过
You never heard of troga?
我真的很讨厌你这种口气
I hate it when you do that.
啥口气
What?
"你连跑珈都不知道吗"
"You've never heard of troga?"
"你连章鱼都没尝过吗"
"You never tried octopus?"
"你就连那么有趣的事都不知道吗"
"You never did this amazing thing"
"我也是昨天才知道
"I just discovered yesterday
但非得装成自己像是一出生就知道一样"
but I pretend like I've done my whole life?"
总之 "跑珈"是指在跑步机上做瑜伽
So, troga is treadmill yoga.
这可是社交之中必备的哦
It's de rigueur.
我看是蠢蛋社交必备吧
It's de-dorky.
你今天吃火♥药♥了
What is your deal today?
不好意思菲尔今晚要去主持宴会
I'm sorry. Phil is hosting that thing tonight,
他现在正憋在家里写段子呢
and -- and he's been writing jokes.
哎呀
Ooh, yikes.
我就知道
I know.
我真的很担心
And I'm worried he's gonna humiliateself
他会在那些大人物面前丢脸
in front of all those important people.
可是我又不能跟他直说
I can't say anything because --
不用讲了我了解了
No, no. I get it. I get it. I get it.
因为你的打击会令他倍感沮丧
Because it would hurt him even more coming from you.
没错
Yeah.
其实我和小卡现在的处境
You know, I'm kind of going through something similar
跟你俩的有点像
with Cam right now.
-你们咋了 -他又开始健身了
- Why? - He's started exercising again.
这是好事呀
Well, that's good for him.
没错但他一直穿着单车热裤健身
Yeah. He's wearing bike shorts.
你肯定很郁闷
That's bad for you.