摩登家庭

Modern Family S02E05

Part 2 Dec. 3, 2019, 1:07 p.m.

我怎么知道
How the hell do I know?
那我们现在应该怎么做
So, what do we do now?
我们已经和他说了还能做什么
Nothing. We did it. He heard us.
但他什么都没听进去
He didn't hear nothing.
杰别走杰
Jay, don't go. Jay!
杰杰
Jay! Jay!
好了我们召开这次家庭会议的原因是
Okay, we have called this family meeting
个人电子产品已经影响了正常生活
Because the personal electronics have gotten out of control.
从今天起将进行为期一周的电子设备禁用周
Starting today, there's going to be a one-week ban
-禁止用手♥机♥ 发信息 -噢不
-On all cellphones, texting, -oh!
禁止上论♥坛♥ 视屏聊天玩游戏
Im'ing, video chatting, video-gaming,
-禁止任何网络行为 -那我该怎么做作业
-Anything on the internet. -How am I supposed to do my homework?
跟我学学
The way I did.
拿一个凿子和一块石头
With a chisel and a piece of stone.
-菲尔 -别想阻止我发自内心的幽默感
-Phil. -Can't unplug my funny bone.
我马上就要完成一份科学论文
I have a huge science paper due.
别担心也许家里还有本祖传的百科全书
And we have a great set of encyclopedias...Somewhere.
不然你认为公共图书馆是用来干吗
What do you think the public library is for?
我以为那里是流浪汉的免费公厕
I thought that was a bathroom for homeless people.
我还能继续玩植物大战僵尸吗
Can I still play plants vs. Zombies?
你是不是聋了
Are you not listening?
-但是你了解植物 -怎么
-But you learn about plants. -Mm-hmm.
植物是有生命的
And plants are life.
难道你反对生命吗
Are you against life?
那我该怎么和我的朋友聊天
How am I supposed to talk to my friends?
在学校聊个痛快
Talk to them at school.
或者在果汁店
Or at a juice bar.
或者用座机打
Or on the house phone.
没人知道我们家的号♥码
Nobody even knows our number.
连我自己都不知道
I don't even know our number.
这么说老爸也不会再去上网咯
So, you're saying dad's not going to go online?
-当然 -老爸
-Yep. -Dad?
-是的 -那疯狂足球怎么办
-That's right. -What about fantasy football?
不用担心球队那边已经都安排好了
Not a problem. My team's set this week.
我至死不渝地
I am completely on board
支持你老妈的突发奇想
your mother's horse and buggy to yesteryear.
接下来的一周我要回归原始社会
For the next week, I may as well be Amish.
原始人邓菲
Jebediah Dunphy.
穴居狩猎茹毛饮血
Raising barns, witnessing murders,
钻木取火
Making electric fireplace hearths.
这简直太不公平了
Oh! This is so unfair!
你猜怎么着
You know what?
我们可以搞得有趣些
We're gonna make this fun.
把它当作一次比赛
Turn it into a game.
坚持到最后的那个人就是胜利者
Whoever stays unplugged the longest, wins.
菲尔这不是我的初衷
Not what I had in mind, Phil.
-我们能赢得什么 -你们想要什么
-What do we win? -What do you want?
我想要一台新电脑
I want a new computer.
成
Done
我们禁止他们用电子产品
We're gonna get them off of electronics
结果却要给他们添置更多电子设备吗
with the promise of more electronics?
-我想要鸡肉馅饼 -整只鸡都行
-I want chicken pot pie. -And chicken.
我想要一辆车
I want a car.
-没门 -成
-No way! -Done!
我能有自己的车了
Yeah, I'm getting a car!
-没错很有趣对吧 -菲尔
-Yeah, fun, right? -Phil!
我们养不起第三辆车
We cannot afford a third car.
别担心他们不可能赢我们
Relax. They're never gonna last as long as us.
亲爱的别误会
Oh, honey, don't take this the wrong way,
但我确实对你没有任何信心
but I have almost no faith in you.
乔安妮马上就会出来
Joanie will be right out.
她马上就会结束那个接见
She's just finishing up another interview.
好的谢谢谢谢谢谢
Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
-不客气 -我真心喜欢这个地方
- You're welcome. - I really like this place.
-看看这些画 -我看到了
- Look at all these drawings. - I know.
你看到院子里的鸭鸭了吗
And did you see the duckies in the yard?
-莉莉最喜欢鸭鸭了 -我知道
- Lily loves duckies. - I know.
我等会要提到这些
I'm gonna mention that.
行啊说啊
Okay, well, do,
搞的好像说这个就能让她显得与众不同似的
because that's really gonna set her apart from the rest of the kids.
我们还要提到
We should also mention
当我们看克莱尔· 罗斯的脱口秀时她总是很兴奋
how she always perks up when we watch "Charlie Rose."
就一次而已因为当时他在采访艾摩
That was one time. He was interviewing Elmo.
[艾摩是儿童剧芝麻街中的角色]
你们放轻松点
You boys ought to relax.
对不起
Oh, I'm sorry.
-我们只是想留下一个好印象 -对的
- We just -- we really want to make a good impression. - Mm.
基佬养父母加上一个外籍宝宝
Gay adoptive parents with a minority baby?
学校随你们挑
Sugars, you can get into any school you want.
什么真的吗
What was that? Really?
你们不知道吗
Oh, you didn't know that?
当然
oh, yeah.
所有的学校都爱吹嘘自己没有任何歧视
All of these schools like to brag about their diversity.
你们简直是神奇三侠啊
You're diverse times three.
绝对供不应求
In demand.
你们简直就像热卖♥♥的音乐会门票
You're like Jimmy Buffett tickets
[吉米·巴菲特是美国著名音乐人]
那些非同白人完全不是你们的对手
to these hybrid-driving, straight white folks.
多谢夸奖小妞
I hear that, girl.
好吧
Yeah.
我来啦别急
I'm coming!
我家的狗在哪
Where the hell is the dog?
-是谁在敲门 -我们的邻居
-Who is it? -It's our neighbor.
我家的狗不见了
The dog is gone.
也许它自个跑走了
Maybe it ran away.
有链子锁着呢怎么跑
It was chained to a tree.
也许你老婆带走了
Maybe your wife took it.
根据我的信♥用♥卡♥账单我老婆人在欧洲
According to my credit card, my wife is in europe,
正在搜寻最豪华的酒店
searching for the world's most expensive hotel.
那关我们什么事
Then what do you want from us?
你来我家抱怨狗吵
You come over complaining about the dog
然后第二天我家的狗就不见了
And the next day it's gone?
你说我来干什么
You tell me.
-我会... -居然敢来这里撒野
-I'll tell -- -how dare you?
你到我们家来把我们家的门铃都要按爆了
You come to our house, you ring our bell many times,
还指责我们绑了你的狗
And you accuse us of taking your dog.
慢走不送
You should go home.
-这事还没完呢 -不已经说的很清楚了
-We're not done here. -Yes, we are.
你到底做了什么
What did you do?
你肯定不想知道的
You don't want to know.
歌♥洛莉亚的祖父和叔叔们都是屠夫
Gloria's grandfather and uncles were butchers,
所以一说到杀戮
so she's always had a certain comfort level
她总是习以为常
when it comes to...Killing.
有一次我们家闹耗子
One time, we had this rat...
首先拍烂它
What? First you smash it,
然后砍断鼠头
then you cut the head off.
她就像孙二娘转世
It was like nothing to her.
我要去教堂了
I go to church now.
她把鼠头留在那儿
She left the head out there
杀一儆百
To send a message to the other rats.
-嗨 -嗨亲爱的
- Hey. - Hi, honey.
今天工作顺利不
How was your day at work?
棒极了
Amazing. Mwah.
哇说说看
Great. What happened?
没有像平常那样把午休时间浪费在上网啊
Instead of wasting my lunch hour surfing the web,
查足球动态啊之类的
checking football stats,
今天我在舒缓的音乐伴奏下
I put on some mellow music,
冥思静想
and I meditated.
哇坚持了多久
Wow. For how long?
我也不知多久反正我二十分钟前刚醒
I have no idea. I just woke up 20 minutes ago.
妈
Hey, mom.