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Modern Family S02E11

Part 2 Dec. 3, 2019, 1:08 p.m.

怎么教我自己都不会骑自行车
How could I? I don't know how to ride a bike.
十亿中国人都会做的事
2/3 of my house can't do
我们家居然有三分之二的人都不会
what a billion Chinese do.
我妈觉得骑自行车很危险
My mother thought that riding a bike was dangerous.
她会说 "别人就会这样把你抓走的"
She would say, "that's how people grab you"!
好吧这样好了
Okay, this is how it's going down.
今天我开车带你去学校
Today I'm driving you to school,
周末我也给你买♥♥辆自行车
on the weekend, I'm buying you a bike,
我来教你们俩骑车
and I'm teaching both of you.
我很紧张
I'm nervous...
但也很兴奋
but I'm excited.
你们俩个去玩吧我就免了
You two have fun. I pass.
这根本不合理
It makes no sense.
那个东西怎么可能立得住
There's no reason that thing should stay upright.
你也不可能立得住
There's no reason you should stay upright,
但事实就是可以
but it just works.
菲尔快进来
Hey, Phil. Come on in.
劳拉你好呀
Laura, good day.
我超喜欢门口的设计
Well, I couldn't love this entry any more.
很有家的感觉
It's very welcoming.
我十分钟后还有点事要办
Yeah, I got a thing in 10 minutes,
-所以我要快点搞掂这件事 -没问题
- so I have to make this quick. - Great.
让我给你介绍一下
Um, let me run through
我的销♥售♥三策略
my three-pronged approach to selling --
我只需要一个策略那就是把房♥子卖♥♥出去
I only need one prong -- sell the house.
我不想跟那个女的一样
I don't want to be that yutz
把房♥子的价位定的太高
who prices her house too high
结果一整年都卖♥♥不出去
so it sits around for a year
而那些在星期天无所事事的人
while every lookie-loo without something to do on Sundays
都跑来看我的房♥子窥探我的隐私
is going through my underwear drawer.
佣金是多少
What's the number?
我们需要考虑几个因素
Well, there are quite a few factors to take into --
我只要一个数字
Need a number.
我们规定的佣金是百分之一点四
Uh, we list at 1.4.
底线是百分之一点二五
We take anything north of 1.25.
成交
Done!
好极了
Great!
我文件都准备好了现在就能签
I got all the paperwork right here.
别急想要跟我进一步发展
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You got to buy me a beer
怎么也得先把我灌醉才行
before you can put your hand up my sweater.
我可没有那种冒犯之意
Oh, I had no intention --
要是这周末开放日举♥行♥的成功
Put on a great open house this weekend,
零头就都是你的
the listing's yours.
放马过来吧劳拉
Bring it, Laura.
想要考验我我可是久经考验的
You want to test me? I've been tested my whole life.
别人到头来怎么输的都不知道
They could never find anything.
那么星期天中午十二点到下午四点来举♥行♥开放日如何
So, uh, Sunday 12:00 to 4:00 for the open house?
-这时间合适吗 -很好
- That works for you? - Great.
好的如果你还有什么问题
Great. Oh, and if you have any questions
或是什么需要打我电♥话♥就行了
or you need anything, just call.
跟我合作就像和朋友合作一样愉快
When you work with me, you're working with a friend.
你真体贴我很喜欢你
That is so sweet. I like you.
别让我失望别到最后逼我炒了你
God, I hope I don't have to fire you.
你好我是克莱尔请留言
Hi. This is Claire. Leave a message.
亲爱的是我
Hey, honey. It's me.
我刚开完会
I just finished the meeting,
她简直是完美客户
and she is the perfect client.
对价格不怎么计较
Realistic about the price...
只想尽快把房♥子卖♥♥出去她个性也很率真
she wants to sell fast, and she's a real character.
你真应该见见她
You got to...meet her.
不过她就快搬走了我看还是算了吧
But she's moving soon, so what's the point?
你加班加到真晚
Wow, you worked late.
是啊难熬的一天我只想马上坐下歇歇
Yes. Brutal day. I just want to sit.
正好莉莉睡着了
Perfect. Lily's asleep.
贝瑞待会跟咱们一起泡热水浴
Barry's meeting us in the hot tub.
要是你压力太大
If you're feeling stressed,
他可以给你灵气按♥摩♥一下
he could give you a treatment.
我看还是算了吧
Ah, that's all right.
我明天约了赤脚医生
I have an appointment with Dr. Bigfoot tomorrow.
好了好了又来了
Okay. Here comes the judge.
灵气按♥摩♥什么的都是骗人的小卡
Reiki is a bunch of nonsense, Cam.
那人就是个疯子
That guy is a nut.
你每次都这样
You do this every time.
每当我们结识一个新朋友
We meet a new friend,
只要他们说出一件你不喜欢的事
they say one thing you don't like,
你就会无情的把他们踢出局
and you just write 'em off.
我哪有
I do not!
没有吗你忘了那个"但是可是雷切尔"了
Oh, really? What about "but yet Rachel"?
but和yet一般不能连用
我很想去但是可是我不怎么喜欢逛公园
"I'd love to go, but yet, I don't feel like parking".
要不就说"但是" 要不就说"可是"
It's either "but" or "yet",
没有放在一块说的
not both.
你该庆幸到目前为止还没人来教训你
You're lucky no one's kicked your butt yet.
那托马斯又怎么说
What about Thomas?
你把他踢出局就是因为
You wrote him off because
他先上主菜后上沙拉
he serves the salad after the meal,
顺便说一句这在欧洲是很正常的
which, by the way, is very common in Europe.
他是从欧洲哪来的自命不凡斯坦国吗
What part of Europe is he from? Pretentious-stan?
好吧
Okay, fine.
继续指责吧别交任何朋友
Keep judging. Don't let anyone in.
我也可以少管点
I could care less.
你是想说你才懒得管呢吧
I think you mean you couldn't care less,
因为你要说"可以少管点"
because if you could care less,
就证明你还是管了
that means that you care a little bit.
好吧我要去泡热水浴了
All right. I'm going to the hot tub.
要是我在这里多待一分钟
If I stay in here one more minute,
我的头就真的要爆了
my head is literally gonna explode.
我希望不会因为要是真的会爆的话
Well, I hope not, because if you mean "literally" --
我待在自己家里都没有安全感
I don't feel safe in my own home!
菲尔亲爱的帮我一把
Phil, honey, I need your help.
帮你干吗
With what?
什么东西是违章超速者无法躲开的
What is the one thing a speeder can't outrun?
子弹激光
Ooh. Bullets. A laser.
我知道了大炮老爸快帮我想想
Oh, I know -- a falcon! Dad, jump in.
falcon为15-17世纪用的的一种轻炮
时机不对
Not a good time.
-雷射炮 -这个给力
- A laser falcon! - That's awesome.
答案是羞愧感
Shame.
"使你的邻居们变得迟钝"
"Slow down your neighbors"!?
slow down也有使人变得迟钝的意思
不是这个意思 "放慢速度"
No. "Slow down" --
是对违章超速者说的
talking to the speeder --
是谁要对那违章超速者说呢
Who's talking to the speeder?
你的邻居们
Your neighbors.
才不是这个意思呢
It doesn't say that.
没错那上面只写着"使你的邻居们变得迟钝"
Yeah, it just says "Slow down your neighbors"!
-菲尔 -我懂你想表达什么
- Phil. - I know what you were going for,
可你那标牌上写的就是"使你的邻居们变得迟钝"
but now all I can see is "slow down your neighbors"!
你们都错了因为这再清楚不过了
Well, you're all wrong, 'cause this is incredibly clear.
而且这很重要
And it's really important.
我们需要在街区贴满这些告示
We need to put these signs up all over the neighborhood.
这可不像你啊这是胆小鬼做的事
I don't know. It seems kind of cowardly.
为什么不直接打匿名电♥话♥给警方呢
Why don't you just make an anonymous call to the police?
我老早打过了可他们什么忙都帮不上
I called the police, and they were totally unhelpful.
我早就说啦
Surprise. Surprise.
菲尔你到底站不站在我这边
Phil, come on. Are you with me or not?
我当然站在你这边
Of course I'm with you.
不然呢难道站在那人这边
Who else would I be with? This guy?
我和那人又没有任何瓜葛
I have no connection to this guy.
-很好帮我把它贴出去 -不
- Good! - No!
好吧
Fine.
在你炮轰我之前我要说